It's All Relative (8 page)

This was going to be harder than they thought.

Expression intent, Kai shifted his movement and gave her a light peck on the cheek. Even still, Jessie found herself closing her eyes at the tender touch; she only reopened them when he pulled away. He quickly shifted to stare at the cracks in the worn concrete at their feet. He seemed just as dazed as she. Jessie hated that the only guy she’d ever been able to so physically effect was a blood relative. Figured.

Kai exhaled slowly, then stood up and glanced back at her still sitting on the bench. “We should get back to Gran. I told my dad I’d keep an eye on her.” His face suddenly turned guilty, like he felt that he’d failed in his duty since she’d gotten hurt. Jessie smiled as she stood with him; he seemed to have the same sense of responsibility for their grandmother that she did.

He watched her rise, then they headed back into the hospital together. A comfortable silence fell around them as they made their way to the second floor. Jessie watched his back as she followed a step behind. Images of his broad shoulders flooded her head, and she had to shift her gaze to his shoes to redirect her thoughts. Remembering what he’d said about getting his place together, Jessie recalled the piles and piles of boxes she’d seen in his tiny apartment. Then she remembered him sweetly telling her that she could stay if she wanted, right as she’d been hurrying to leave.

A soft, wistful noise escaped her at the memory, and Kai turned his gaze her way; concern darkened his beautiful face. “What?” he cautiously asked. By his wary expression, he clearly thought she was going to break down at any moment. He also seemed unsure about what he would do if she did. His nervousness made her laugh, and as they approached the stairs to the second floor, his cute look shifted to a disgruntled one. “What?” he asked again, less cautiously.

Jessie shook her head, her curly ponytail swishing back and forth. “Nothing, you’re just…nothing.” Knowing she couldn’t call her cousin adorable, not under these circumstances, she sighed and let it go. Kai just looked confused by her answer, so she softly explained with, “I was just thinking about what a mess your place was. Do you want some help arranging it?”

He frowned at her summation of his home, but then he smiled. Studying the ground for a moment, he murmured, “Yeah, not the coolest spread to bring a girl back to.” Flinching, he looked up at her; he seemed worried about how she would respond to a clear reference to their steamy encounter.

Jessie paused on the steps. Kai took one more, then stopped and looked back at her. A small sigh escaped him as their eyes locked. Jessie knew that they could easily destroy any connection they had, familial or otherwise, if they let this guilt they felt consume them. Even though her stomach was still clenching with horror, she decided that he was right when he’d said that they hadn’t known, and they couldn’t be faulted for knowledge they hadn’t had. Not knowing any other way to dissolve the building tension, and wanting that comfortable feeling to return, Jessie decided to try some lighthearted humor. Giving him a crooked smile, she coyly said, “Well, it worked. You got me.”

While Kai gaped at her, shocked, Jessie smiled and walked past him up the stairs. Her heart was hammering as she listened for his reaction. Then she heard him chuckle and mutter, “Well, all right then.” Smiling, she looked down in relief. He was going to try and not let this weirdness enter their relationship either. Good.

Once they both got to the top step, they were smiling at each other. Now that Jessie was looking for it, she thought she could spot some similarity to her in the bridge of his nose, the fullness of his lips. It was fleeting though, and she really could have been seeing something simply because she was told to see it; like a shape in the clouds, because someone let you know it was there. In all honesty, his looks were unlike anything she’d ever seen before. A beautiful blending of genetics that made him his own person, inside and outside.

When they got back to their grandmother’s room, she was staring at the ceiling, seemingly lost in thought. Jessie hoped she wasn’t thinking about her odd, dramatic exit. She really should have handled that better, but finding out she’d slept with a relative wasn’t exactly something that happened to her every day. There was no way she could have possibly been prepared for that shock.

Gram’s contemplative expression changed when she finally noticed that Kai and Jessie had reentered the room. She gave them both bright smiles as she patted the bed. “You two all right?”

Kai sat on the edge of the mattress while Jessie sat in a nearby chair. Gently folding his fingers over the old woman’s hand, he warmly said, “We’re fine, Gran. But how are you? Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?”

Their grandmother laughed as she patted his hand. “I’m fine, dear. They’re taking good care of me here. I’ll think they’ll keep me for a few days, just to watch over me.” She grunted in annoyance and rolled her eyes. “It’s completely unnecessary. I could hop on a horse if I needed to. I could swing dance, if I had a good partner.” She raised a suggestive eyebrow at Kai, clearly asking him if he’d consider it.

He laughed at her implied request, and the sound was warm, light, and full of love. “Maybe when you’re better, Gran.” Jessie could easily see him putting up with that possible humiliation for Grams. It was a sweet thought, and a painful one too; she remembered all too well what it was like to dance with him.

Jessie let out a soft laugh, but it quickly turned into a wistful sigh. Her grandmother gave her an odd glance, and Jessie immediately pushed away that regret, and replaced it with another one. Placing her hand on Grams’s arm, she softly said, “I’m so sorry I was late this morning.”

Kai looked equally remorseful. “Yeah, and I’m sorry I didn’t visit sooner. I was running a little slow this morning.” He looked at Jessie. Her stomach clenched, but she gave him a soft smile.
They could get through this.

Grams studied the two of them for a moment, then shook her head. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m a grown woman. I don’t need the two of you fretting over me, like I’m some invalid. I slipped. Happens every day. Probably happens to the two of you on occasion.” Jessie had to bite her lip at that.
If she only knew.
But no, she couldn’t ever know. No one could. While Jessie schooled her features, her grandmother pursed her thin lips and told them, “I don’t mind you both coming to visit me, but I can take care of myself.”

With a shake of his head, Kai gave her a warm smile, then leaned forward and kissed her head. “All right, Gran.”

The display of affection made Jessie softly sigh. He was charming, caring, thoughtful, and hot. It really wasn’t fair. But few things were, and dwelling on what she couldn’t have wouldn’t help her. Returning her attention to her grandmother, Jessie smiled and said, “Okay, Grams. What
can
we do for you then?”

Grams eyed the two of them oddly for a moment, and Jessie thought she saw some hidden knowledge in the woman’s warm brown eyes. It was gone before she could be sure though. Lips twisting into a smile, she patted Jessie’s hand and told her, “Jessica Marie, my dear, why don’t you and Kai go through my place and get rid of that old furniture for me. I was going to have the church come take it, but as Kai probably needs some things, maybe he could take it for me?”

Kai immediately started shaking his head. “Oh, Gran, no, you don’t have to—”

Her grandmother cut him off with a swift shake of her head. “Nonsense. You must need something. Do you even have a bed yet?”

Kai’s tan face lost a little color as his eyes locked onto Jessie’s.
Oh God…did he ever.
Jessie worked hard to keep the multitude of emotions battering her from showing on her face. It was difficult. One simple question had bombarded her with an image of Kai that she shouldn’t have—that she couldn’t have. She needed to erase that night; she needed to forget. But how?

A deathly quiet fell over the room. Jessie was afraid to breathe, lest she say or do the wrong thing. Luckily, Grams took their silence as an admission that Kai needed help. Turning her attention to Jessie, she matter-of-factly stated, “Clean out the spare bedroom. I have no need for anything in there right now.”

Jessie nodded. “Okay, Grandma.” Anything to get out of here, to get away from the memories plaguing her.

Kai glanced down before looking over at Jessie. His face was still pale, but he managed a small smile. “I guess I could use your help after all.”

A
fter making sure she truly was going to be fine, Kai and Jessie left their grandmother and headed outside. When Jessie spotted Kai’s motorcycle, she gave him an amused smile. “You’re not going to be able to move much with that,” she stated.

Knowing she was right, Kai frowned. “Yeah…I really hadn’t expected to be moving furniture anytime soon.”

Jessie laughed, and Kai found that he really loved the sound. “Well, good thing for you I have a truck. I’ll follow you home, then we’ll go to Grandma’s.”

Kai nodded in agreement and hopped on his bike. He felt a little guilty for taking Gran’s stuff, but he knew her well enough to know that if he didn’t take it, she’d just show up on his doorstep with some burly men she’d hired to haul it for her. At least this way, he was saving her the expense of hiring movers.

Jessie walked over to her truck parked a few spaces away, then they drove back to his place. After Kai pulled into the garage, he shut off his bike and hooked his helmet over the handlebars. Jessie pulled up next to him in her little Ford Ranger. He would have expected her to pick a girly color, turquoise or purple or something, but it was solid black.

She was biting her lip as she watched him swing his leg over the seat. Kai wondered what she was thinking about. If she still felt ill about the whole thing. He did. Sort of. He was trying to let that nauseous feeling go; it wasn’t their fault. But when he thought about the intimate moment they’d shared, it did gross him out some. It also turned him on a little. It had been the most amazing sexual experience he’d ever had. A part of him wanted to have it again, even knowing what he knew. But that couldn’t happen, and he was going to have to accept that.

With a quick sigh, Kai walked around to the passenger’s side of Jessie’s truck and got in. As she drove away, he rubbed his hands together, warming them with the hot air blowing from the heater.

Cocking an eyebrow at him, Jessie asked, “Is it cold here to you?”

Looking over at her, Kai smiled. “Well, I’m wearing two shirts under this jacket and wool socks.” Grinning wider, he laughed. “I even considered doubling up the underwear.”

Jessie flushed as she glanced at his jeans, and Kai instantly thought that maybe he shouldn’t say anything that could be perceived as suggestive. That might hamper their conversations quite a bit, since almost everything could be made suggestive. Like his clueless Grandma asking him if he had a bed yet. Jesus.

Jessie’s dark eyes darted to his ankles before returning to the road; the bottom of his pants were still wet from the water splashing on them as he’d driven around town. Definitely not helping him warm up. “So…you bought a bike?” she asked, a tight smile on her lips.

Kai smiled as studied her. He liked her sober, playful personality just as much as her drunken aggressiveness. “I know, kind of dumb, but, I heard it only rains 300 days out of the year here, so I thought my odds were pretty good. So far, it’s dumped on me every day. Guess my odds are shit.” Laughing, he looked out the window. “But really, the weather doesn’t matter. I’m a bike guy.” Amused at his own comment, he wondered what he would do when the roads got slick. He’d never driven on snow before. He’d have to invest in some studded tires…and a snowsuit.

Jessie chuckled. “Well, at least you look hot on it.” She immediately stopped laughing and looked over at him. He shook his head. Looked like they would both have to work on not saying suggestive things.

“Um…thanks.” He smiled, then sighed.
Would they ever be able to forget?
They drove the rest of the way in silence.

Jessie backed into Gran’s driveway once they got to her house. Stepping out of the truck, Kai noticed the helpful old lady next door peeking through her window. He thought there probably wasn’t much that happened in the neighborhood that the woman didn’t know about.

Following Jessie inside, Kai smiled as he took in his grandmother’s home. It was warm and welcoming, painted in a cheery yellow with pictures and mementoes of family taking up almost every available space. Kai noticed a few pictures of himself, from when he was much younger. He remembered Gran taking those pictures, remembered the bright woman behind the lens, snapping away at everything, like she could store her memories away in each click. Seeing the green foliage of home in the background brought on a twang of homesickness, and he thought maybe his grandmother was on to something.

As Jessie turned to walk down a short hallway, he noticed a multitude of her pictures throughout the home. Having lived here with Gran for so long, she’d been around a lot more, and that was evident in the sheer volume of photographs. Kai saw bits of Jessie’s entire life splashed along bookcases, mantels, and end tables. Proms, birthdays, ski trips…it was all around the room for him to see. A brutal reminder of the chasm between them.