Authors: Natalie Herzer
Ivory Guard (22 page)
He couldn’t resist and reached out with his hand to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing her soft skin.
“Never, Stargazer.”
She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes as tears threatened,
not able to hold in the relief that swamped through her like a palpable thing. He could feel how every muscle in her suddenly slackened, her knees almost giving out.
God, how stupid he had been thinking she was screwing up his life, when in reality he and heaven
did a damn good job at screwing up hers. “He made a mistake twenty years ago.”
Lillian
frowned, gazing up at him through watery eyes, a frown creasing her front. “Who? What are you talking about?”
“
My boss, Micah. The angel of the divine plan.” It was the only logical explanation.
Lillian, an Ivory with Fallen blood in her, should never have been born, which meant his boss had made a mistake when pairing her parents up with an angel.
Micah had probably hoped she would die the usual Ivory way – fast and in battle – without any questions asked. He had probably thought telling an Ebony that her sigil wasn’t working due to her mixed heritage would speed things along. But when Lillian proved to be made out of tougher stuff, he had lost that hope and sent an angel to kill her, most likely goading that nearly Fallen fool with redemption. And when that failed, Micah made it so that she was suspected of killing that angel. It made perfect sense now.
“
You shouldn’t have been born, not as an Ivory anyway. And yet here you’re. Your existence is an error in the divine plan. Something that shouldn’t be.” The thought of a world without her turned his next words into a fierce growl, “I won’t let you pay for his mistakes.”
Knowing what he had to do and without wasting another minute, he slipped his arms around her waist and took them both away to the only place where he knew they would be safe.
As soon as the rustle and breeze of his wings died away, Lillian’s eyes, which she had closed out of reflex, snapped open.
“Where the hell are we?”
“My house. In Ireland. ”
Her eyes were wide as she looked around, trying to take in as much as possible and for a moment he wished he knew what she was seeing, what she was thinking.
Raz had had a few guests here, his last one being Amber shortly before she died, and never had he given a thought…had he
cared
what others thought of it. But for some reason he wanted Lillian to like it.
“Why?
” She whirled around. “And what about the others?”
“You don’t need to worry about them. I have a plan and Maion will take care of them for the time being
. Besides, if they should be questioned it’s better for them to truly not know anything about our whereabouts. It’s you Micah is after. He wants to correct the mistake he made which means eliminating you and not the whole guard.” That was as long as Micah didn’t suspect them of knowing more than they should, Raz thought. “We’re safe in this house.”
“What if they summon you? You can’t ignore that.”
“I will as long as I have to. Until then let’s hope Maion will be convincing enough to buy us a couple of days. He’ll tell Micah that you’ve run off and that I’ve gone after you.”
For about a second
Lillian seemed to accept it, but then she shook her head as if to will her thoughts to get ordered and in line. “How come we’re safe here? You’re an angel so what is keeping the others from coming here?”
“Oh,
angels can come here.” With a devilish smirk he added, “But only when invited or with good intentions. It’s a kind of…sanctuary, I guess you could say. Every angel is given …a piece of heaven to use as his own. No ill-intentioned behavior or any act of violence is allowed inside this house and within a mile radius. Training’s an exception of course.”
“Training?”
“Yes, training. While Maion will take care of diverting Micah, I’m going to teach you how to fly. We’ll probably only have a couple of days so we’ll have to make them count.”
“And
then what?”
“T
hen we’ll bring a stop to the divine plan.”
“
Stop the divine plan…” Even when she whispered the words he could see when it all snapped into place, her eyes widening just a fraction. “We’re going to kill him?”
“
It’s the only way.”
Rain started to tap against the windows, filling the sudden silence between them
and drowning the last light of day.
Lillian stared at Raz
as he moved to switch on a lamp beside the sofa, not quite certain she wasn’t dreaming all of this. Anger rose quickly, fueled by emotional exhaustion and residual adrenaline. “Sorry, I’m pretty sure I didn’t hear right. You
want
me to kill an angel?”
“Yeah.”
“And then what? Won’t I have the whole of heaven on my ass once I kill one of them?”
“Either you kill him or he’ll kill you. It’s as simple as that.”
“No, it’s not, Raz. Heaven wants to kill me not for something that I did but for who I am.”
She started to pace the length of the room, her confusion and fear pouring into her every move.
Throwing up her arms, she faced him once again.
“
If I’m so wrong and touched by evil or whatever, then why create me in the first place? There had to be some reason for it, Raz. You guys had to know what my mother was and the consequences! What a bunch of hypocrites you are!” She was on a roll now and couldn’t stop, all the frustration and doubts and questions that had worried her for the last year came out in a wave of angry desperation. “From the beginning you guys never tell the whole story and keep us in the dark. You treat us like kids, basically saying ‘when you’re older, you’ll understand’. And then it’s ‘oops, sorry you didn’t live long enough to get older’. What do we Ivorys really know about the angels, about God, about this eternal war you’re fighting? As far as I can tell, we are cannon fodder, pawns at best. All I know is that angels and God have no qualms about breeding with humans, even blackmailing them and using their weaknesses, their deepest desires. They have no qualms about creating and then enlisting young Ivorys to fight for the greater good. But what is the greater good? Is it really worth the sacrifice, is it worth us killing innocent people?”
“What innocent people are you talking about?”
“Demons, Raz. Not all of them are bad. You know, the funny thing is I never regretted my decision. Never regretted letting Becca and others get away.”
“Now that you mention it, care to explain how that came to be?
They’re demons, Lillian.”
His voice was hard when he asked and Lillian tilted her head to the side to stare at him, sure he had lost his mind.
“Do you even listen to yourself? How much of what you say is heaven’s doctrine hammered into you? ‘Cause if you’re really so damn narrow-minded you better kill me now. Birth doesn’t define us, our actions do. That’s why you want to save me, isn’t it? The same goes for Becca and who knows how many other demons. It’s not Becca’s fault she was born a witch either. She could hardly do anything against it. From the first moment she stepped out of the hellhole she has done nothing but help us. She saved Matt’s life when she could have run for it. So, no, I won’t feel guilty about working and even becoming friends with her. I won’t judge her for what she is but rather by what she does with the power she holds.”
Raz was frowning, a deep scowl marring his beauty
, and then muttered as if to himself. “How could I, even for a second, have believed you were a malleable bookworm? You surprise me at every turn.” A rueful smile tugged at his lips as he shook his head. “You’re right. Despite how much I had thought otherwise, I’m still blinded by age-old prejudice and heavenly doctrine, as you so fittingly put it.”
Her shoulders sagged, as she was overwhelmed with the turn of events.
“I’m sorry I took this all out on you. It was just that…finding out I’m not an Ivory…it made me realize that I don’t want to be one anymore. The others, and I, have…grown tired, I guess.” Her hands ran through her hair. “I don’t know what we’re fighting for anymore, Raz.”
“I know that feeling.”
Stepping closer, he rubbed her arms with his hands. “How about we take it one step at a time? Let’s take care of Micah and then we’ll move on from there.”
“
Which brings us right back to what I wanted to know in the first place. You’re here, hiding me from your boss and heaven in general. Why? You show up, after two years of absolute radio silence, and accuse me of murdering an angel, which I didn’t do. Still you insist and think otherwise. And now, you’re helping me and even
want
me to kill an angel. Raz…” Lillian sighed and stared at him, “You’re turning coats so fast I’m having whiplash for God’s sake.”
“I never believed you did it.”
Guess that qualified as taking the wind out of her sails. “Huh?”
A smile curving his lips he
brought them nose to nose, swiftly turning her anger into another kind of heat, and spoke very carefully. “I never believed you did it.”
“But…?” Full sentences, or even words, were too complicated right now.
“I knew you hadn’t gone off the deep end. I left, yes, but I kept tabs on you. Through Maion. When I found out that heaven wanted you dead, I just got angry, I guess. I had to do something. But coming back to you…it screwed it all up.” Looking away he shrugged. “I had left so I would never see you again. I left so I would never be…tempted again.” He swallowed and then his eyes found hers, caressing her face.
They were staring into each other’s eyes,
a silent battle of wills and hearts.
“Hey, I thought I might find you here. So what’s the plan?”
Maion suddenly appeared in the room, and for one moment Lillian almost had the feeling Raz seemed to welcome his brother’s bad timing. A wide grin almost split Maion’s face in half as he wiggled his eyebrows at them. “At least I hope that’s the reason why you two disappeared and that I’m
not
interrupting some much needed and strongly advised alone time.” He threw a bag at Lillian. “Here, Abby thought you might need this.”
It
turned out to be filled with some of her clothes, her toothbrush and all the other essentials of an overnight bag.
“Thanks. How’s Joshua?”
Plopping down on the couch Maion waved a hand through the air. “Fine. Just a cut, nothing to worry about.”
Thank God.
Raz cocked his head, his look not something Lillian wanted to be at the receiving end of. “Of course there’s a reason. Did the others clue you in?”
“Yeah.
Lillian is more than she appears to be. Not that that’s any news.” He winked at her and brought a smile to her lips, as did knowing that for the first time in quite a while the angel wasn’t drunk – maybe a little tipsy but definitely not approaching alcoholic poisoning. “You thinking what I’m thinking? Micah?”
“Yup.
He screwed up and wants to take care of the problem.”
“So what’s the plan? And here I’m assuming handing her or any part of her body over, isn’t part of it.”
“We’ll stay here. While I teach Lillian how to use those wings of hers, you’ll take care of her guard and tell Micah that she has run off and that I’ve gone after her. It’ll buy us some days, maybe even a week if we’re lucky. And then we’ll pay Micah a visit.”
Maion took it in, serious now. “That’s gonna bring some changes.”
“I know.”
“
About time. We need them.”
“We’ll be in Alabama, near Mobile, just so you know.”
When Maion was about to leave again Lillian hurried to say, “Tell the others I said Hi.”
“Will do.”
Silence reigned after Maion disappeared. Neither of them wanting to talk about what had transpired before the angel had interrupted them, although both their minds couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Raz
was the first to snap out of it. “You must be hungry. After the fight and all. How about I make us some dinner?”
“You’ve learned to
cook?”
Looking rather sheepish he admitted, “
Well. No, but…”
Shaking her head mockingly, she
rolled her eyes. “Then I’m gonna make dinner. Might help me relax anyway.”
And she needed it, since her head was still reeling from finding out that he had believed her from the start.
If Raz hadn’t been absolutely certain how much Lillian needed it, he would have insisted on throwing something together for them. As it was he knew that Lillian craved the calm that came over her while cooking so she could come to terms with everything that had happened in the last couple of hours. The revelations, emotions and the battle. He knew that the play of tastes, scents and familiar routine offered her a retreat from where she could look at everything from a broader angle, and brought her a peace of mind like nothing else could.
Knowing all that didn’t keep him from pouring them a glass of whiskey to help along the way however, before sitting down to simply enjoy the view.
Their conversation from earlier had raised a lot of questions and doubts. It was like a slap to the face to wake him up. While they ate he also couldn’t stop remembering what Maion had said about the system needing the change. Would it end with killing Micah?
Could
it end there? He wasn’t so sure anymore. But whatever happened, he would do what needed to be done to protect Lillian.
A
yawn from Lillian pulled him out of his dark thoughts and made him realize how exhausted she must be from the day they had had.
“Time to call it a night.”
Raz got up and started loading the dish washer. Dinner had been nothing fancy given his rather sparse supplies but delicious none the less.
He looked up when she didn’t answer to see her frowning at the dish washer. Guessing her thoughts he smirked, “I’m an angel, not a sorcerer.”
Lillian wanted to smile but it turned promptly into another yawn which she tried to hide behind her hand but didn’t succeed.
“Come on.”
Stifling a grin Raz led her to his bedroom.
He only had one bedroom and had never seen any use in having more since he never had any guest
s staying over. As a matter of fact Lillian was the first to stay the night.
“The bed’s yours. I’m gonna take the couch,” he said as h
e walked over to the adjoining bathroom, switching on the light.
When he turned around he felt as if punched. She was bathed in the warm light and breathtakingly beautiful – tired, strong and beautiful.
Having her here, in a room no woman had ever set foot into and so close to his bed, was causing him…to think thoughts better kept un-thought.
Lillian
sat down on the bed and then shrugged lazily, her voice low and her words a little slow with fatigue and sexy as hell. “I don’t mind sharing. If memory serves being vertical seems to be more dangerous for us than being horizontal.”
Oh fuck him.
Raz swallowed. “How about we
don’t
test that theory of yours.” Grabbing a blanket from his closet, he fled the room as fast as possible. “Night.”
Closin
g the door behind him he had to fight the urge to fall back against it with relief, and padded over to get comfortable on his couch instead.
F
uck…just seeing her here. Just the thought of her in his bed, her dark hair spread on his pillow. Yeah, now he was pretty sure he wouldn’t get any sleep at all tonight. And probably the nights to come. Groaning he rubbed a hand over his face. The next days were going to be hell.
Lillian awoke the next morning to gray but soft early morning light filtering in through the windows. Snuggling deep into the covers, she turned onto her back with a smile on her lips. God, she felt wonderfully rested. For one ridiculous moment she wondered whether it was thanks to
being cocooned in his scent clinging to the gray sheets. Dark and fresh, like the scent of rain on a cold night.
Shaking those dreamy thoughts out of her head
before they kept her from functioning properly today, she decided it was due to sleeping in a simple but big bed for a change, and then she swung her legs over the side of the bed and got up to get ready and dressed.
Fifteen minutes later she walked into the kitchen, already dressed in sweatpants and tank, to find Raz
leaning against the counter with a coffee mug in one hand and looking out the windows which offered a breath-taking view of a golden and rose-colored early morning sky.
“Morning.”
When his gaze swept around and over her, it lost some of its softness, his gaze even subtly darkening with the hint of a frown for which Lillian had no explanation. “Morning. Coffee?”
“
Please.”
She walked over while he poured her a mug
and even added the right amount of sugar. It did funny things to her heart that he hadn’t forgotten how she drank her coffee. Such a small and ordinary piece of knowledge, but still a piece of
her
.
“How did you sleep?”
“Very good.” Since it sounded it a bit too happy to her own ears, she added, “I was so wiped out, I slept like the dead. No wonder really what with the day we had. And you?”
“
Yeah. Same.”
“You know, I’m kinda surprised we’re having coffee now and not after the usual five
mile run.”