Jaded (30 page)

I arched into him and whispered, brokenly, “That’s not fair.”

“Yes, it is. I’ll take anything I can get at this point,” Bryce whispered back and his fingers slid around one of my legs. He raised me up to wrap around him and I felt him push against me. I melted inside and grasped at his shoulders. I fought to draw him closer and I fought to keep him away.

“This isn’t—,” I gasped as his mouth moved to my breast. “This isn’t fair.”

“Is this the only thing that you’ll let yourself feel?” Bryce whispered against my skin and he thrust inside.

“No,” I whispered as I wrapped my other leg around him and rose up against the wall.

“What else will you feel? What else can I get?”

“If I say it now, it’s not fair.” I kissed his jaw, his neck, his lips.

“I don’t care anymore,” Bryce whispered as he thrust again.

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“Bryce.”

“I love you,” he panted against my lips.

“I—” I broke off as he thrust again.

“Say it!” Bryce demanded as he thrust again.

I snapped. I swiftly arched my back and shoved him away at the same time. It wouldn’t happen—not like that.

Bryce fell on the bed, startled by the swiftness and strength, but I quickly straddled him. As he fought for entrance, I clamped my hips around his and held myself above him. Bryce could’ve overpowered me. He could’ve closed the distance and it would’ve been met with an excited scream, but he didn’t.

Bryce stayed in my arms and he gazed at me as I waited for him to see what was in my eyes.

He stopped as he saw it. His breath left him in that exact moment. And I took it in. I let the warmth fill my lungs as I bent and softly met his lips, tenderly. I kissed him, a loving kiss, and I whispered against the corner of his lips, “I love you.”

He lay suspended in my hold and the fight had left him.

Bryce blinked in shock until my words sunk inside.

I realized that he’d never expected it. He had asked, fought, and demanded—but he’d never expected it.

“I—,” he started, but I kissed him and stopped the words. I moved farther up his chest and looked down.

The wall fell down and I let him see me.

“I love you,” I sighed.

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Bryce shifted and slid my hips down to meet his. He went inside and I gasped. My eyes closed as did his and we felt each other for the first time in four years of being intimate.

Afterwards Bryce curled me against his chest as we laid still, sweating, and panting from what had happened. He ran a soothing hand up the side of my arm to my shoulder and back down again.

In the darkness, I asked, “So what now?”

Bryce tucked his head into the crook of my neck and shoulder. He breathed in my scent and tightened his hold around me. His voice was muffled as he replied, “I don’t know.”

I heard the exhaustion and felt its answering pull inside of me.

“Just…no more Denton Steele,” Bryce remarked.

“No more girls fawning over you.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

Bryce chuckled and swiftly tucked me underneath him. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and cradled my cheek. His thumb rubbed sensuously, comforting, against my skin. I nearly purred as I moved closer and sought his touch.

“So what?” he asked and flashed a blinding smile.

“What?”

“Are

you

my…girlfriend?”

My eyes widened as panic robbed my breath. This was what I’d been afraid of—

this unyielding fear. I twisted away from him and hurriedly dressed.

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“What—.” Bryce cursed and leapt for the door just as I turned towards it.

He got there first and twisted between me and my exit.

“Stop it,” Bryce snapped and pushed me back. He held firm in front of the door.

“We were just—you told me that you love me and now you’re going to run?”

“That’s all I can do!” I cried out, feeling the panic build up with each second, each breath, and each word.

Bryce quieted. He listened.

“It’s all…I can’t do anymore. I can’t—I can’t do conversations about us, not yet.”

“Okay.”

And I was left dazed at the abrupt softening of his voice.

Bryce jerkily nodded and said again, “Okay. I can do that.”

The panic subsided and I warily dropped onto the bed.

Bryce still stood, naked, in the darkness and he came to stand in front of me. I met his glittering eyes in the moonlight and closed my eyes as his fingers found the side of my face and tilted me upwards. Gently, he pushed me back down and lay beside me, on his side. He laid an arm over me and kissed me.

Slowly, exquisitely, we explored each other as we kissed.

I broke away and said quickly, “You tell Corrigan, but he can’t label us. Okay?”

“Okay.” And Bryce quieted me again.

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“My dad’s leaving my mom,” Bryce broke the quiet.

I twisted and looked at him from underneath the sheets.

Bryce quickly wrapped an arm around me and pulled me against him. “I didn’t

want to deal with it so that’s why I never said anything about it. It’s why I’m going pro next year. My mom wants me to take care of the family. She says that we can’t trust my dad for money. It’s my turn to man up and take care of stuff.”

We still heard sounds from Denton’s party.

“I really hate that guy,” Bryce said quietly against my shoulder. “And I really don’t like his sister.”

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“I’m sorry about your family,” I murmured softly and pressed a kiss underneath his jaw. He was so strong, in more than the obvious ways. I felt humbled, but I wasn’t about to admit that. “And you don’t have to worry about Mena anymore. Neither of those two are going to be visiting me anytime soon.”

Bryce sat up beside me and draped a loose arm over my waist. He told me,

“She’s…she’s not right. She doesn’t have a base, I guess. I don’t know. I just know…she reminds me of my mom sometimes.”

That screamed of silence.

“It took my mom a long time before she could walk out of the house alone after my dad first left. Mena reminds me of my mom.”

“You never talk about your mom like that,” I murmured.

“I never talk about my mom,” Bryce said grimly. “Period.”

I grinned softly and reached for him. He came willingly and our lips met.

I gasped and shoved him away. “We didn’t use protection that last time.”

“I thought you were doing the shot.”

“Oh.” I ‘d forgotten and slumped back down, relieved. “Thank god.”

Bryce ducked his head and grinned against my neck. His hand explored

downwards and my breath caught as he poked and whispered, “I liked feeling you naked.”

I laughed, “And that statement is the epitome of our dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship.”

Bryce grinned, but whispered fiercely as his fingers found my core, “Shut up.”

I did better. I shut him up instead.

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And in the morning, my legs ached in ways that had me wondering how worse I

would’ve felt if I’d run a marathon. It was still dark out, but the clock read 6:30 and I could
still
hear sounds from Denton’s party.

Bryce flipped onto his stomach and wrapped an arm around my waist. He scooped me closer in his sleep and nuzzled my neck.

It tickled and brought a smile to my face. I sighed softly and turned to watch him.

I saw the vulnerable little boy in his face as he slept. He was softer, without the knowledge that consciousness brought to him and hardened the wall that he resurrected.

I had a wall and my wall was thicker. But I’d told him twice more during the night that I loved him. Once as we made love and the second as he fell asleep. He hadn’t heard the second time, but it’s why I’d whispered it again. The words were foreign to my tongue and they slid off easier each time I said them.

I slipped from the bed and Bryce found me in the shower.

We didn’t leave the room until another hour, but it was a refreshing morning that I knew would be remembered no matter what the future brought.

I needed that morning.

We skipped breakfast and Bryce paid for coffee on the way to school.

As we parked and sipped, Bryce grimaced and brought his hand up from the

driver’s door.

He smiled tightly and dangled two pairs of handcuffs from his fingers.

Steam rose from the cup in his other hand.

“Oh goody,” I said dryly as I sipped my coffee. Neither of us made a move for the doors. We were content to sit with comfortable silence and steaming coffee.

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Someone pounded on the back of Bryce’s car and Bryce and I both turned to look.

Anyone else would’ve jumped, cursed, spilled coffee, but not us. Years of training for iron restraint kept us cool, calm, and with the bored expressions on our features.

Corrigan hurled into the backseat and threw an arm around each seat as he leaned forward.

“So,” he exclaimed, enthusiastic and beaming. “How are we?”

Bryce took a sip of coffee. So did I. And nothing was said.

Corrigan danced his eyes between us, watched, studied, and a slow smile spread over his face, “Oh man. Thank god!”

The barest hint of a smile ghosted over Bryce, but it was gone as I drawled,

“Thank god for what? That we didn’t kill each other?”

“Nah, man.” Corrigan smirked, “Thank god that we remembered the handcuffs. I thought I might’ve lost our pair under my bed last night.”

“Logan doesn’t strike me as the handcuff type,” I remarked.

“Oh,” Corrigan was smug. “You haven’t met the real Logan, yet.”

“I’m okay with not knowing that Logan.”

Corrigan was about to retort as I saw a police cruiser turn into the parking lot. I bolted upright and asked, “What are the police doing here?”

“I thought they were still following you,” Corrigan replied.

“Yeah, but…those guys park across the street. These guys—look.” I pointed.

“They’re right here.”

Two police cars stopped just outside the parking lot doors of the school. Another two vehicles parked behind them and I watched as Officer Sheila climbed out of the Tijan Jaded

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driver’s seat of one of them. She looked wary, but refreshed with her hair up in a high ponytail and a crisp trench coat tied around her waist.

“What…?” I murmured to myself as I climbed outside.

I was across the parking lot before I knew it and asked Officer Sheila, “What’s going on?”

A frown flashed over her features and she held a hand up, “Sheldon, you should go back to your vehicle. Stay there.”

“No. What’s going on?”

Bryce and Corrigan had gotten out of the car and now approached us.

“Sheldon, go back to your vehicle. Make sure your friends are with you—they

were with you last night, right?”

I frowned. “Bryce was. We left Corrigan at the vigil and went to my house.”

She relaxed, slightly, which said something. A person can’t normally read a cop.

I felt Bryce at my elbow and Corrigan rounded to stand beside me and Officer Patterson. Both guys were quiet when I asked again, “What’s going on?”

Sheila frowned and nodded to two of the detectives that were waiting at the door for her. She made a gesture for them to go inside when her partner, Office Milon, appeared beside her elbow.

Firmness settled over her when she asked, “Did you know Bailey Umbridge?”

Bailey…. “Crazy hair?” I asked.

Sheila

nodded.

“Yeah. I talked to her last night at the vigil. She was friends with Leisha.”

“What did you two talk about?”

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“She just…I don’t know. We talked about how fake people were and she…she

told me that Leisha wouldn’t have walked through the park at night. Leisha had been at her house when Carlos called her. Bailey lived two blocks from Harris’.”

“Did you notice anyone? Did anyone watch you guys talking? Anyone that you

remembered?”

“Just Bryce. He came and—he was in the doorway. That’s all.”

“No one else? Anything strike you as odd last night? Like a sense that you were being watched?”

I saw the intense scrutiny in her eyes and I knew she was watching me for a

reason. When it clicked and I knew what she was asking, I felt the old numbness creep back inside. Its tentacles reached deep, deeper than before, and it grabbed hold of my organs and tightened its grasp.

Paralyzed, I murmured, “What are you talking about?”

Something flickered in her eyes and Sheila said quietly, “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“He was there, wasn’t he?” I whispered, hoarse. “He was there and he saw me

talking to Bailey, didn’t he?”

She didn’t need to say a thing. Her eyes did the talking for her.

“What—” I gasped. “Is she…is she inside?” Dead.

Understanding dawned in Bryce and he shifted closer to me. His chest lightly grazed my side, but he didn’t take a hold of my arm or hand. He just stood there.

“Do you remember anyone from last night, Sheldon?”

“I thought I had police protection,” I said faintly.

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“You do and they were outside, like they were ordered. They aren’t one-on-one detail protection. They’re on basic watch so they wouldn’t have been inside. If you want one-on-one detail, I can arrange that. My men would be your personal bodyguards.”

“She’s got us,” Corrigan spoke up.

“Sheldon…do you remember anyone?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I just…I liked her. Bailey. I remember liking her, she was…she was cool.”

“Well, she’s dead now.” Officer Milon clipped out, harshly. He raked his eyes over me, piercing me. His balding spot seemed to have grown, but it might’ve been the wind that flapped his hair around.

Bryce and Corrigan both tensed and shifted closer on either side of me.

“Back off,” Sheila rasped sharply. “We’re not accusing her of anything.”