Watch Me Walk Away

Watch Me Walk Away

Jill Prand

Dedication

To the three most important women in my life.

My Mom,

You’ve always stood beside me and encouraged me to be whatever I wanted.

Who knew it would take this long.

My daughters Anna and Lily,

Please follow your dreams no matter how long it takes you to accomplish them.

I will always be there for you.

Prologue

Jodi and I stroll into the party. “Now remember you’re the DD for the night so no more than two beers for you!” she reminds me.

“No problem, I know you and John will be partying it up. Just do me a favor and don’t get too drunk. I do not want to be cleaning puke out of my car,” I say as I hip bump her. I’d only had it for four weeks since I turned eighteen

“You could try and get together with someone,” she says slyly. “It’s been two months since you and Steve broke up. You look great, take a chance. You know that Brad has been waiting for you to be ready. He really likes you.” I pull my hand through my long dark hair.

“I know,” I say as I bow my head. “But I don’t feel anything for him except friendship. I have known him since the sixth grade. He’s like my brother.”

“Well you should at least have fun with him tonight, it is New Year’s Eve!” she says.

Jodi walks away from me and straight towards her boyfriend John. John is attending Stony Brook University but still living at home, more to be close to Jodi then because of the money issue of staying on campus. They are really cute together, Jodi the blonde bomb-shell and John the Italian stallion.

I look around and everyone is here. There are a bunch of people I hadn’t seen in a while, they’re all back from different colleges. This is Joe’s house. He had graduated last year and he is going to NYU. Joe hasn’t come out of the closet yet but we all think he finally has a boyfriend in the city. I wonder when he will finally bring him home to meet everyone.

Walking over to the keg to get a drink and say hello to everyone on my way. It is New Year’s but Jodi is right, I have not really felt like having fun and socializing since Steve and I broke up. Not that I loved him, I was really just with him because he was comfortable and I was lonely. We spent almost a year together and he wanted to take it to the next level and I really did not have those feelings for him. I feel like I really have to be in love with someone to lose my virginity. Of course the one guy I want to do that with is in the Army stationed God knows where and hasn’t written or called me since he left for basic training.

Putting a smile on my face I grab a cup of beer. I need to make this last especially since I am the DD. Joe has cleared out the family room and cranked up the stereo. Joining the dancers start to get into it that’s when I feel his eyes on me. Turning around, I almost drop my drink.

He’s here! I can’t catch my breath. His hair is so short, high and tight they call it. Oh I miss running my hands through his hair. His eyes are on me. Those blue eyes I still dream about. Joe goes up to him and tries to talk to him but he just keeps staring at me. I can’t breathe or move.

Someone bumps into me from behind and I take a step forward. The movement seems to release him from the trance. He turns to Joe and shakes his hand. “Glad I could make it, man,” he says. “I am only back for two more days but I figured you would be throwing the party tonight, nothing changes in Bohemia.”

He looks back at me again. I turn around and try to find Jodi. She will keep me from making a fool of myself and running into his arms. I cannot let myself near him. He’s going back… he’s leaving again. He hasn’t contacted me in a year and a half. I don’t love him anymore, right?

Jodi is nowhere to be seen. Debbie is dancing on the other side of the room and I start to make my way over to her. She will help me. Her boyfriend is in the army too. He of course calls, writes, visits. He is also his best friend so I do sort of know what goes on. I am surprised. If HE is here, then shouldn’t Jimmy be here too?

I get to Deb and tap her on the shoulder, “Bobby is here!”

“What!” she says. “Jimmy said he wasn’t coming home, they were going to Texas together.”

“Well look behind me. He is here. You have to stay close to me.” I grabbed her arm. “I really don’t want to talk to him.”

“I don’t think you’re going to have a choice because he’s headed this way.”

Turning around I look up at him. God even with short hair he is still beautiful. His chest has filled out even more. I didn’t think his body could get better than it was. I miss being held by him.

He steps close to me and puts his hands on my arms. “Hey, beautiful,” he says. He starts to pull me in for a hug and I push against his chest.

“Really, Bobby, you just show up here and expect me to just fall into your arms? Sixteen months and not a word. Not even a letter, email or a damn phone call!”

I try to pull away but he doesn’t let go. “I missed you, baby. I just couldn’t be where I was and think about you too.” He pulls me closer and puts his cheek to my forehead. “Please, baby, just let me hold you. I couldn’t stay away from you anymore. I only have two more days before I have to leave again and I want to spend them with you. Let me hold you and just talk to you. I miss your voice and the feel of you in my arms.”

Ok so what do I say to that? If I tell myself the truth I know I have missed him in just the same way. I put my arms around his waist and hug him. I lay my head on his chest and inhale. Oh God how I have missed his scent. All of his shirts I kept don’t smell like him anymore. Tears are coming to my eyes and I hold him closer. “I missed you too.”

Bobby pulls away so he can see my face, gently placing his hand on my cheek and runs his thumb under my eye. “Don’t cry, baby. I can’t stand it when you cry.” He pulls me forward and his head lowers to mine. His lips barely touch me. I know he is waiting for me to respond. I wrap my fingers lightly around his head, parting my lips, gasping as his tongue plunges into the depths of my mouth. I can’t think of anything else in this moment, other than this kiss.

The whole room fades away. I would not be able to tell you where I was if you paid me. His hand moves to my hair as he gives a slight pull he tilts my head back to give him better access to my mouth. His tongue licks my mouth, my lips. He pulls my lower lip in between his and sucks, causing a moan to escape from me. Trying to get as close as possible I run my hands over his chest. I have missed him so much. His right hand moves down my back to my ass. Showing me how much he missed me he grabs me and pulls me into his erection and rubs against me.

He tears his lips from mine and moves to my ear, “I need to be alone with you, baby,” he whispers. “Let’s get out of here. My house is so close and there’s no one home.”

He pulls away from me and takes my hand. He looks down at me and lifts his eyebrow, “Will you come with me?”

I nod my head. “I have to tell Jodi though. I’m her ride.”

He looks around and his gaze falls on Debbie. “Hey Debbie, Lisa and I are going to my house to talk. Can you tell Jodi when you see her?”

Debbie looks at me, “Lisa, you are okay with this?”

I glance back up at Bobby, “Yeah Deb, I won’t be too long.” I look at the clock on the wall. It is ten thirty-five so an hour should be enough time for us to talk and get back.

“We’ll be at his house. If we’re not back by midnight send one of the guys down to get us.”

She nods at me and says, “Okay, I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Bobby turns away and pulls me with him. I have a smile on my face that I can’t control. I haven’t felt like this since he left. We walk out the door into the cold night air. I didn’t grab my coat so I gasp at the temperature. Bobby puts his arm around me and gathers me close. We are only going four houses away and he’s practically running.

We get to his door and he slams it open, it starts to close on us and he pulls me through. He closes the door and pushes me up against it, “Oh God, baby, I’ve missed you so much,” he says as he brings his mouth to mine again.

His hands are on either side of my face and his whole body is pushing into me. “You are more beautiful than I remember. I just want to be inside of you.”

He picks me up and moves us to the couch. He lays me down and then he is on top of me, pressing me into the cushions. I forgot what it feels like to have him there. His hands move down and pull up my top. He takes my breasts out of my bra and his palms glide over my nipples. His mouth is on my neck, sucking and licking, it makes me moan and arch my back into his hands. His thumbs run over my nipples causing them to peak even more.

“I missed the taste of you, baby, no one tastes like you. You are perfect.” He pulls my shirt over my head and undoes the clasps on my bra. He kisses his way over my collarbone and towards my breasts. My breath is coming fast now and I’m wet between my legs. The last time I was this turned on was with him over a year ago. As his lips find my nipple his hand moves down to my leg. He pushes the short skirt I am wearing up. His hand runs up my inner thigh to the place that is throbbing for his touch.

“God you are so wet for me, baby. I am going to make you come so hard.” He presses against my wet mound through my panties. “I need to taste you, baby. I missed having my tongue in you.”

My skirt is pulled off of me, my panties right behind. He looks down at me and says, “I almost forgot how beautiful you were.”

His head lowers and he inhales. He parts me with his fingers and licks one long swipe up. I nearly come off the couch. He pulls my leg over his shoulder and starts to lick me fast. He nibbles at my clit and then sucks it into his mouth. I moan out his name as he puts one finger inside of me then another.

“God you are still so tight, baby. I still wish I was your first.”

“You will be, Bobby. Steve and I never got this far,” I tell him.

He stops and looks at me. “What do you mean? You guys were together for almost a year.” He looks pissed.

“He wasn’t you. It has always been you, Bobby.”

He sits up. “I can’t be your first, Lisa. I am leaving in two days. I won’t do that to you.”

“But you are the only one I want, Bobby,” I cry. “Please, I want you so much.”

He looks at me and shakes his head, “Get dressed, Lisa, we’re going back to the party.”

“Fuck you asshole! You think you can come back and I won’t be a virgin anymore so it would be ok to fuck me and leave me? That’s why you came back isn’t it? You’re an asshole!”

I grab my clothes and get dressed. I storm to the door. He gets up to go back with me when I turn on him.

“Just where do you think you’re going? You need to stay here. You’ve already fucked up my night. The least you could do is let me try to salvage my New Year’s.”

“I just want to make sure you get back okay,” he says.

“It’s four houses, Bobby. I will be fine but you will always be an asshole.” I turn and walk away. That is the last time I saw him, until today.

Chapter One

I finish up my make-up and put the mirror away as. I quickly pull the brush through my long brown hair one more time. Do I look like a successful New York woman? Yeah, I’m getting there. You would think that someone who grew up on Long Island would have a better sense of style. As I’m slipping into my four inch high heels I hear my cell go off.

Stuart texts me telling me he is downstairs holding a cab.

Grabbing my bag and wrap, I walk out to the elevator. So am I ready for this? I have been back in New York for nearly a month. I have only seen a handful of my old friends. Mainly because I am living with my best friend Jodi until I find a place of my own and I need to do that soon. This commuting four hours a day sucks big time! I am so tired most often I don’t have the energy to go out.

The elevator finally gets to the lobby and I start walking out. Stuart is standing in the open door of the cab looking at me. He really is fine looking, although he looks like he belongs more in California than New York. Slightly long blonde hair, green eyes and a decent body. He is not ripped, at least from what I can tell, I haven’t gotten firsthand knowledge yet but that will change tonight. I am staying at his place in the city after the party.

Stuart used to be a client of mine. When I took the job at the agency in the city he declined to move his account. Not that he didn’t think I did a good job but because I wouldn’t date a client. He had been trying to get me to go out with him for almost a year and each time he asked I told him the same thing, “Not while I handle your account.”

So when I took the job at the hottest agency in the city, he saw it as an opportunity to remove the road block to us dating. The agency was not very happy with his choice, his account pulled in about three-million last year. Fortunately for me, I did bring two other large accounts so I was still looking at over ten-million in billing this year.

So Stuart and I have been dating for about two weeks and tonight he gets to meet all my old friends from high school. My long-time friend Joe is making his Broadway debut in a show tonight and I am meeting up with about twenty friends at the show then we’re going to dinner afterward. This is the first time I will have seen many of them in years. I didn’t go back to visit much after my mother sold her house to move in with my stepfather.