Watch Me Walk Away (25 page)

They start kissing again and I finally tear my eyes away. I push through the crowd behind me and find a seat. I put my head in my hands. My heart is being trampled on the ground in front of me and I don’t think I will be able to stand this. I cannot handle seeing them like this all the time. I will not be able to hear her talk about how great things are going with them or be able to deal when they fight and she comes to me for a shoulder to cry on. My life is over. I have to get away.

The concert finally ends and people are leaving but I hear cat calls aimed at Lisa and Bobby, some of them are really rude, explicitly describing what he should do with her. I want to kill them all for talking about her like that. Why isn’t he jumping the barrier and kicking their asses for saying that shit?

I rub my eyes and try to get myself together for the ride home with them. Being that close is going to salt the already seeping wound in my chest. I just need to make it home where I can hibernate under my covers. I glance over and am able to see them now. They are talking and holding each other oblivious to everything around them. I wonder if he realizes how lucky he is, how I would sell my soul to hold her like that and have her look at me with the love I see in her eyes. I’ve known since we were sixteen and they first started going out that she was his. Even after he left a part of her left with him, she wasn’t the same. The light in her eyes was subdued, never shining as bright as it did before, even when she laughed it was always dimmer.

Now looking at her the light is at full power again. Her whole body gives off a glow that is irresistible, you can’t look away. She’s always beautiful but now because of him she’s effervescent. She looks over at me and says something to him. He had sat her on the barricade at some point and now she throws her legs over and I know she is coming to me. He starts to say something and she stops him, leaning back against him and kissing him briefly, then she launches herself over.

She sits down next to me and apologizes. She tells me again how she needs me in her life and how she hopes I can find someone to make me happy. Doesn’t she get the fact that she is the only thing that can make me happy? She frowns when I tell her I need time but she uses my line against me and says whatever I need. What I need is her but that is the one thing I can’t have.

She tells me that Arthur will take me home, that she and Bobby can catch a ride with one of his crew. I don’t have to sit with them while I bleed out. She hugs me and I know it is the last time I will touch her for a long time, maybe ever. She walks back over to him. He lifts her up into his arms and nods at me. I nod back but what I really want to do is kill him for taking her. I watch as they start walking away. He gets on his phone and has a short conversation with someone. When he is done he lifts her in his arms and walks into the tunnel. She glances back at me and with a smile she is gone.

How do I go on? Is there a place in this world where I can go to heal this massive wound? Will I ever find anyone to take her place?

Acknowledgements

What a short great trip it’s been. Well not really short when you figure that the first time I thought of writing a book was twenty years ago. I got three chapters into it and stopped. The next time was when I was on maternity leave with Lily. I hand wrote about four chapters that time. In between I would write little snippets of stories and throw them away. Then last year I lost my job. When my mom asked me what I was going to do with myself I said, "maybe I’ll write a book". I didn’t really think I would but the ideas started to come. Then I started to find this wonderful community on Facebook. People like me who loved to read and I started to make friends. One of them Crystal Rister posted a writing contest on her page ‘Naughty or Nice’. I thought what the hell, I can write a short little interlude to submit and the Prologue to ‘Watch Me Walk Away’ was born, in only a short hour. Funny thing is these characters didn’t want to just be a short story, so after I submitted the prologue I kept writing. I started to map out the whole story while I waited to hear how the beginning was received. Did I mention the contest was an erotic writing competition? Well you’ve read the prologue…it’s a little tame, so needless to say, I didn’t win but the judges wanted more, so I kept writing. About five chapters in I sent it back out to a few people and they wanted more, so again I kept writing.

Then I found this spitfire of a woman, Jodi Murphy. Some of you may know her. We got to talking about the book which was about halfway done at this time, and I told her I was looking for an editor. So we took a chance on each other, my first book, her first time editing. As in any relationship we’ve had a few hurdles. I think I went a little diva on her at one point but I couldn’t have chosen a better person to help me navigate this process. I love you Jodi!

Thank you to my Beta readers: Crystal Rister, Ikelia Francis and Brandelyn Harris, your insights and support have left me humbled. You are each hired as permanent betas!

There are so many others I need to thank: Jamie Gibson, Nicole Andrews Moore, Cassandra Johnson, all the ladies from BYOST – you girls ROCK and I’m so glad to be part of you! All the members of my street team – thank you for all your hard work on my behalf! All the bloggers who have or will be hosting WMWA – you are all my heroes! Without you self- publishing would not be possible.

And last but by no means least, my family. My husband Keith and my daughters Anna and Lily. I know I’ve spent too many hours in the basement writing and you’ve only complained a few times. Thank you for letting me spread my wings and accomplish my dream! I love you!

About the Author

I live in Northern New Jersey. I am a wife and mother of two girls.

I have been an avid reader my whole life, I cannot remember a Sunday afternoon that did not include my parents reading. We had a huge bookshelf in our den with a diverse set of authors like Ayn Rand, Stephen King, Mario Puzo & Danielle Steele.

I have always had ideas and characters running around my head but it took a few good friends to push me to start putting them down on paper.

I hope you enjoy my musings. Please feel free to contact me I would love to hear from you.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jill-Prand-Author/548364751874871?fref=ts

Blog: http://jillprand.blogspot.com/

GoodReads: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17798198-watch-me-walk-away

Picture by LG Photography