Jane Austen Made Me Do It (33 page)

And it is indeed
fffplendid
! Even Papa was silenc'd, for a Change! The dining-table alone is as big as the Conservatory at Netherfield, and the Epergne is HUGE, with silver Cupids, Flowers and Fruits tumbling out. Mr. Collins says it must have cost as much as a small
Houfffe
! It completely hid those opposite. I thought I was out of Sight of Charlotte, but afterwards she scolded me, most unjustly, for helping myself three times to Whipt Sillabub. After Dinner the Tables were set up and we played at Cassino. Lizzy captured the most cards, whereat Miss De B became fatigued, and her Companion attended her Upstairs. Lizzy picked up a Book, and I looked at an Album of picturesque Ruins, while the married People continued their Whist. I try'd in vain to overhear her Ladyship's Remarks, as she is a Fount of Wisdom. The Butler brought in a Magnificent Supper, but when I help'd myself to Ratafia, Charlotte privily remov'd my Glass. We dine at Rosings twice more this Week. When I grow up, I intend to wed a Titled Gentleman and live in a Great House like this one.

Her Ladyship's two Nephews are coming soon on a Visit—but I do not suppose that their Arrival will create much of a Diversion, as they are rather old, I believe.

I shall give this letter to Papa to take Home with him tomorrow—'twill save you the Postage. Please write! Last year, when I went with Mamma to Town, you sent only
five
lines, mostly about your first pair of long Gloves—
this
Time, I
must
have News of the Officers!!

Your affect. Friend,
Maria Lucas

——

To: The Same

April 7th

My dear Lydia,

As I feared, no Answer from you—you are the
worst
Correspondent in the World—but I have to report a TRULY
thrilling
Development, which nearly concerns You: Lady C's two Nephews have arrived to spend Easter. You may be wondering what is so particular about this, but possess yourself in Patience! One Nephew is a Colonel Fitzwilliam, and the second—none other than Mr. Darcy—yes, the very same disagreeable Gentleman who made himself so Unpopular in our District last Winter!! But that is not All. We was not expecting to see much of the Gentlemen, for Charlotte says that when her Ladyship has House Guests, she and Mr. Collins do not get invited to Rosings, unless they are needed to make up a Four at Whist. Imagine our astonishment when
on the Morning after their Arrival
, the two Gentlemen walked down from the Great House to present their Compliments! Mr. Collins
said
it was a Courtesy to Charlotte and himself, but Charlotte whisper'd that the chief Attraction was your Sister!!! Lizzy seemed unconcern'd, but Charlotte told me afterwards that Mr. Darcy was “much chang'd from the arrogant Gentleman I remember. He turn'd pale, then red, and said almost Nothing.” For my part, I did not quite dare to observe him closely. But, hark to this! Charlotte tried to go off into the usual Huddle with Lizzy to talk about the Visit (they have been used to do this since our Arrival, tho' No Body has bothered to confide anything to Me). But shortly after Mr. Darcy and the Colonel had departed, Charlotte came to me in my Chamber, and told me that Lizzy positively refuses to discuss their Visit! “I must talk about it or burst!” said she. “I am persuaded that he is in Love with her, but
she will not hear of it. I have been forbidden to mention it to Any One.” She then urged me to be equally Discreet, so you mustn't breathe a Word to any living Soul—except for Kitty, of course.

I narrowly observ'd Lizzy's Face during dinner. Aware of our Scrutiny, she forc'd herself to partake of a hearty Meal. If
I
had but lately renewed my Tyes with my Lover, I could never have taken two Helps of Black Pudding. She is a magnificent Actress.

Your affect. Friend,
Maria Lucas

——

To: The Same

April 17th

Dear Lydia,

You must be more Careful. What you say about your Mother picking up my Letter, and you having to distract her by spilling a Basin of scalding Tea over Pug, made me almost Swoon with Horror. What will your Sister Lizzy say if she learns that her Secret is Discover'd, and by Me? Pray be more Careful in future, and Burn my Letters from this Day on!!

The Love Affair is taking a strange course. When Mr. Darcy comes to the House, he sits looking stolid, tho' Col. Fitzwilliam teazes him for his unusual Silence. Charlotte and I compare Notes after each visit. She says she never saw a man more Smitten, but, believe me, the true Passion is all on Lizzy's Side. I am daring to look at him in the Face nowadays. He is handsome, dark and smouldering like my Lord Byron, but when he fixes it on your Sister, the Look in his Eye is scarcely Languishing. If she can Hook him, 'twill be a splendid Match for her—and a Feather in their Caps for your whole Family! I daresay you will be staying in their Country Seat when they are married, meeting the Local
Gentry. Charlotte says Lizzy is playing a skilful Game, pretending complete Unconcern. Last Wednesday Mr. D came to call while Charlotte and I were out visiting the Parishioners. We arriv'd just as he was about to leave. Alone together for a whole Hour!! How did she contrive it? More of this, and she is like to catch him in her Toils. I said to Charlotte that for all we knew he might have begun to make Visits, on the Lurk outside 'til he saw us going out, then Sneaking in to be Alone with her. I suggested Enquiring of the Household if this was his Habit, but Charlotte positively refus'd to entertain such an Idea, and strictly forbade me to mention the Affair to any of the Servants. But I think she is too Particular, so I took no Notice. It would be too bad if a full-blown Love Affair were going on under our Noses without our Knowing. So when Hannah, the Housemaid, came up to lay the Fire in my Chamber, I took her into my Confidence. Hannah says Mr. D has never visited alone before To-Day. She has promis'd to tell me if he does it again. So he continues to resist your Sister's Blandishments!

Meanwhile, we have been up to the Great House twice this Week: we are needed to make up the Tables, as Lady Catherine complains that Mr. D is refusing to play. On our last Visit, both the Gentlemen stood by the Pianoforte to listen, as Lizzy played and sang, and gaz'd soulfully at Mr. D. Alas, I could not observe that Gentleman's Expression, as he had his Back to me.

I hope that poor Pug is not too badly burnt. Please kiss his dear little crumpled Nose from

Your affect. Friend,
Maria Lucas

——

To: The Same

May 3rd

Dear Lydia,

This MUST reach you before we meet again—it is Vital. I have held back 'til we reached yr Aunt & Uncle's House in London, whence the Postage will be cheaper for you. Would that I could have written sooner! O, why did you have to waste your Pin-Money on rose-coloured satin Slippers?

The latest Developments may Disturb you—yr Sister and Mr. D have had a Lovers' Tiff!! Yes, Lizzy and her Mr. Darcy are not speaking, and the Pity of it is, the Gentlemen left the District before a Reconciliation could take place. Is not it Pitiful—these two Loving Hearts, forever sunder'd without Hope of Happiness!!

I hope that returning to the Bosom of her Family will calm poor Lizzy. Meanwhile, when we see you next Thursday, pray PRAY breathe no word of Mr. D in her presence!!! Her Disappointment must be frightful. Perhaps there is yet Hope?

Yr Anxious Friend,
Maria Lucas

PS I have scarce had the Time to reflect upon yr News. What, you came upon Mrs. Forster and Capt. Dalby alone in the Shrubbery? I am ASTOUNDED! Tête-à-tête with a junior Officer in her Husband's own Regiment!! Mamma would call her Fast—though of course as she was looking for her Fan she can scarcely be blam'd. You are right to tell No Body but Kitty—our Parents are so old-fashion'd. And since then have you really become Mrs. F's Favourite? If so, how fortunate you are to have a mature married Lady for a Friend—and a truly modern one too!

I long to see you and hear All.

——

To: Miss Lydia Bennet,

Care of Colonel Forster,

9th Warwickshire Regiment,

Brighton

June 20th

Dear Lydia,

O how I Envy you! The wholesome Sea Air—and all those Officers! I still think Fondly of Capt. Dalby, Lieut. Tully, & Co, tho' Alas I fear I am quite Forgot by Them. Are there Balls, Routs and Amusements every Evening? And Mrs. Forster such a close Friend to Capt. Dalby! And O, has she really Entrusted you with the Task of carrying her Letters to him?

Here it is so DULL! Mamma STILL will not let me come Out. She says firmly that I am too young, but, after all, I am Sixteen now, and four months older than you! It is Too Bad. Worse still, yesterday afternoon I overheard her in the Parlour telling yr Aunt Philips that I was a Gadfly, but that she had no intention of bringing me Out yet. I shall be in the Schoolroom for Ever and Ever.

I am so Excited to hear that dear Mr. Wickham is now a fully-fledg'd Officer. Do you see him often? Have you danc'd with him at any of the Balls?

I took yr Letter out to the Bonfire to burn it, but Bart & Toby snatched it from the Flames and ran away with it, screaming “Maria's got a Love-letter!” I had to chase after them to get it back. In future I shall offer to fetch the Letters from the Post Office myself; then I may peruse yours on the way home without fear of Discovery.

Yr. affect. Friend,
Maria Lucas

——

To: The Same

July 2nd

My Dear Lydia,

Thank you for conveying Mr. Wickham's Compliments to me. I am Surpriz'd that he remembers me. I am Astonish'd at your Courage, you and Mrs. Forster meeting Capt. Dalby and Mr. Wickham in the Evenings, when you are suppos'd to be in the Assembly Rooms or at the Play. Of course Mrs. Forster says that there can be no Harm in it, as you can chaperone each other—but is this quite right? I am not sure.

Then too I am Surpriz'd and rather Shocked to hear that the Lovers' Tiff between Lizzy and Mr. Darcy is the Talk of the Officers' Mess at Brighton. You say you have been regaling Mr. Wickham and the others with this “Tit-Bit,” but that somehow you have forgot the Details. In fact I never gave them to you. I began to tell you at your Aunt Philips' Party, but you were so full of that News that Lieut. Tully was making Passionate Love to Serena Haultwick in a Butler's Pantry that you never stopt to listen to what I had to say.

If I reveal them now, I would ask you to be Discreet, for I confess I feel sorry for your Sister Lizzy, who, as we all know, languish'd after Mr. Wickham before transferring her Affections to Mr. D, & even now may cherish the vain Hope of renewing her Tyes with the said Mr. W, since All is Over between her & Mr. D (I am persuaded that it was for this Reason that she so strongly oppos'd your going to Brighton—she must have been Desperate to make the Trip herself, and eaten up with Jealousy at your being Mrs. Forster's Preferr'd One!).

Still, for Friendship's Sake, I shall tell you the whole Story, tho' you must make Mr. Wickham promise faithfully to say
Nothing of this to the other Officers.
Burn this when you have read it!

It happen'd thus: the Day before the Gentlemen were due to depart, we was invited up to Rosings to drink Tea for the last time. Lizzy cry'd off—she had the Headache, she said. I was sent up with one of Hooper's Female Pills, and found her pale, heavy-eyed and ill—tho' it was a Sickness of the Heart, not the Body, as I realiz'd afterwards. Wondering what had come between the Lovers, I accompanied Charlotte and Mr. Collins through the Park to Rosings. No sooner had they arriv'd, and Charlotte made her friend's Excuses, than Mr. D, with a muttered Apology, left the room. Soon I heard the sound of horse's Hooves on the Drive. No Body else appear'd to observe it. She has cast her Net, and he has gone to her! We staid a full two Hours at Rosings, and there was still no sign of his Return when we left.

On returning to the Parsonage, the first Thing I saw was a beaver Hat on the hall Table. I was ecstatic: He is still here, alone with her: they must be Engag'd!! Mr. C noticed nothing, but Charlotte observ'd it, & straightway called for Hannah: has Miss E got a visitor? O, says Hannah, it was Mr. Darcy. He left an Hour since without his Hat, and Miss E has retir'd for the Night. I long'd for an explanation, but Charlotte stuffily refrain'd from asking for any further Details. On retiring to my Chamber I immediately call'd for Hannah to come and unbutton my Gown, hoping for News. She told me that she had let him in and shewn him into the Parlour, where Lizzy was. She then left them together, but, she said, as she had sworn to supply me with all possible Information, she did not Scruple to listen at the Door. She miss'd Much, but she did hear him say “I love you!!” Lizzy's Reply was spoken so quietly that she could not catch any of it. Then there was a long Silence, during which she conjectured that
they were Embracing. But then Matters seemed to go rapidly Awry. She heard him say “Is this all the Reply I am to get?” Shortly afterwards, Mr. D rush'd out, almost knocking Hannah aside as she knelt by the Door. He left in a Whirlwind, forgetting to Tip the Boy who held his Horse!!

I woke at Dawn, and could hear a sound of muffled Weeping from Lizzy's chamber next door. I wonder'd whether to go in, but finally concluded that your Sister would be most embarrassed at her Secret's being discover'd, & so refrain'd.

Lizzy ran out alone before Breakfast, returning at least two Hours later, flushed and unhappy. She had certainly been crying. Meanwhile, her Lover had call'd to bid her Farewell, but, alack, they Miss'd each other. A few days dragg'd by, 'til we too left the County. In the carriage, Lizzy was dull & silent—I left her briefly in the Inn Parlour at Bromley, & return'd to see her quickly Stuffing a Letter into her Reticule, Tears in her Eyes.

That is all I have to tell—but it surely explains your Sister's shocking Mood since she return'd from Hunsford.

Pray tell No Body of this save Mr. Wickham—be Discretion itself!