Jane Goodger (15 page)

Carson looked on, a growing expression of panic on his face. “I’m sorry for what I did. I didn’t mean for her to come here. It was all a big mistake,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion. “But I can tell you that I’m not getting married. I’m just not, an’ you can’t make me.”

Amelia’s face tightened and Boone’s gut wrenched. How could his brother be so cruel?

“Well, someone is going to bloody hell marry my sister, by God,” Lord Hollings shouted, and Amelia squeezed her eyes shut as if in pain.

Boone stared at his brother’s mulish expression, at the raw despair on Amelia’s face, and opened his mouth, truly not knowing what he was going to say until he said it.

“I’ll marry her.”

Four sets of eyes turned to Boone in disbelief, and Boone wished he’d just kept his damned mouth shut.

“Oh, Boone,” Amelia said, clearly angry. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Carson let out a bark of laughter, quickly stifled, and Boone could feel his cheeks flush with almost painful humiliation. What a fool he was to say such a thing.

“My outburst was meant to be rhetorical,” Lord Hollings said thoughtfully.

“I was just…I don’t know what I was thinking,” Boone said, nearly wincing at how absurd he sounded.

“Boone saves things,” Amelia said, staring at him. “He has a three-legged dog and a one-eyed cat. He’s
nice
.” She said the last as if it were some sort of horrible affliction. All Boone felt was intense relief that Amelia hadn’t taken his proposal seriously, that she’d thought he was simply trying to save her from a desperate situation. It would be far worse if she knew the truth.

“Nice is good,” the countess said, looking amused.

“I don’t need saving,” Amelia said, even though everyone in the room would’ve disagreed.

“I think we’ve discussed the situation enough for now. This is all quite unexpected, and we’re all tired. At least I am,” the countess said. “Could you direct us to the nearest accommodation, Dr. Kitteridge? We can stay wherever Amelia has been staying.”

Boone nearly grimaced. He didn’t want to admit that Amelia was staying in his home, for no doubt that would seem exceedingly inappropriate. At the moment, though, he didn’t have a choice. “I’ve been staying at the hotel; Amelia’s been staying here.”

“In a store? Alone?” the countess asked.

“I have an apartment out back. And she did have a chaperone while Carson was here.”

“She quit,” Amelia grumbled. “She didn’t like me.”

“Dulce doesn’t like anyone,” Carson put in cheerfully. All he got for his comment was a collective glare from everyone in the room.

“You’ve been staying in a single man’s home alone?” Lord Hollings asked, then wiped a hand over his face as if this bit of news was simply more than he could take.

“It’s been completely proper,” Amelia said. “Well, not completely. But as proper as we could make it without throwing Boone out of his home entirely.”

Boone wanted to remind her of the kiss, but didn’t think she’d much appreciate his input at the moment.

“Boone would never touch Amelia,” Carson said.

While Boone was somewhat gratified by his brother’s defense, his manhood didn’t appreciate the blow. “My point is,” Boone said forcefully, “that the hotel is completely unsuitable. It only has three rooms, and one of those is occupied. I would be happy to have you stay in my home until you leave on Tuesday.”

“That’s when the next train departs,” Amelia put in rather mournfully.

“Well, if you’re all done here, I’ll be headin’ back to the hotel,” Carson said heartily.

“I’m not done with you, sir,” Lord Hollings said.

Carson tilted his hat back on his head, and although he still smiled, his eyes had grown hard. “I’m done,” he said, jabbing a thumb against his own chest. “You understand? I’m done.” Lord Hollings stared after him with mute, helpless rage.

“By God, he’s lucky we’re not still in England,” he said. He stood with his fists clenched, his entire body taut as if he were straining to hold himself back from murder.

“This is a disaster,” the countess said, looking worriedly at Amelia. “I feel I should accept some of the blame, as well. This is far worse than I imagined.”

Lord Hollings abruptly turned to Boone, who watched as Amelia fell into her sister-in-law’s embrace, fresh tears falling down her face. “Was that proposal serious?” he asked.

“No!” Amelia shouted.

“Yes, sir, it was,” Boone said quietly.

“No, Boone. I won’t let you. I won’t marry you. I don’t love you, and you don’t love me. I’m not even certain I like you.” She smiled to temper her words, but it did little to ease the meaning behind them.

Boone clenched his jaw and pretended her words didn’t wound him, but hell, they did tear a bit at his heart.

“Where can we have a private conversation?” Lord Hollings asked.

Amelia stood clutching Maggie, feeling completely helpless as her life spiraled away from her. “This can’t be happening,” she whispered. “I just want to go home. Why won’t you let me go home?”

It was as if she hadn’t spoken. Her brother followed Boone out of the room and at that moment, she hated both men. Her brother for taking Boone’s proposal seriously, and Boone for making it. She could never be happy here.

“Maggie, make him listen. I hate it here. I hate everything about it.” She’d thought Maggie would continue to embrace her, but the older women grasped her shoulders and gave her a hard shake.

“Enough,” she said harshly. “You’ve made your bed and now you must lie in it. You cannot blame anyone but yourself for your foolish decision to follow Carson here without word from him. You knew your brother was against this, but you carried on and on as if you’d die if you couldn’t be with Carson. And your brother gave in, against his better judgment, because he believed Carson had made good on his proposal. Following Carson here without his sending for you was completely foolhardy.” Maggie took a calming breath and gentled her tone. “I know what it’s like to desperately love a man who leaves you. Of all people, I do understand. But now
you
must understand the repercussions of your decisions.”

Amelia stared at Maggie, her blue eyes looking huge in her tear-ravaged face. “You’re right,” she said, closing her eyes. “Oh, why did I do it? Why? It was as if an insanity came over me. I missed him so. I loved him and when he didn’t write to send for me, I went a bit mad I think. And now I’m here and I just want to go home.” She swallowed. “But I can’t, can I?”

Maggie shook her head. “Not without terrible consequences.” She sighed. “Boone is handsome. And a doctor is a perfectly respectable profession. Do you care for him at all?”

“I hadn’t really given it much thought. I suppose I enjoy his company,” she said hesitantly. She couldn’t admit to Maggie her rather strong physical attraction to him, that kiss that melted her bones. But she’d never thought beyond that kiss, never thought that Boone might be harboring stronger feelings for her. She certainly didn’t have any. He was Carson’s brother and she’d had fun teasing him, but that was the extent of their relationship. Now she was supposed to marry him? It was all rather horrifying.

Edward followed Dr. Kitteridge down a nondescript passageway ending in a courtyard that was about as surprising as the doctor’s proposal had been. Here was a shaded rectangle of color, with a bubbling fountain of crystal water. It was a small bit of paradise in an otherwise gloomy landscape. He didn’t know what to make of the man or the proposal, but he’d seen small indications that Boone’s interest in Amelia went beyond his sister’s claim of altruism.

“Much cooler here,” Edward said, pulling at his collar. By God, he’d thought Newport hot, but this was unbearable. Dr. Kitteridge gave him a bemused look.

“Your sister complains about the heat, too,” he said. He looked toward distant mountains shimmering weakly in the heat of the midday sun, his expression thoughtful.

“Do you love her?”

The doctor continued staring at the mountains. “Seems I’m going in that direction,” he said with great reluctance.

“I see.”

“I think she could make me happy. The thing is, I don’t know if I could make her happy. I’m pretty much the opposite side of a coin compared to Carson, and she loves him fiercely. Maybe she would be better off going back home.”

Edward cleared his throat. “I wonder if you could answer some questions, Dr. Kitteridge.”

“You can call me Boone. Everyone does.”

This Kitteridge brother had a slow, almost melodic way of speaking, as if every word were carefully chosen. He truly did seem the polar opposite of his brother. “Yes. Boone. How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight.”

Edward raised his eyebrows. He’d thought the other man a bit younger. “I thought you were Carson’s older brother.”

“I am. By four years.”

Edward tried to hide his surprise. He never would have thought Carson only twenty-four years old. He looked a decade older than that. “And you are a doctor.”

“I received my medical degree from Tulane University in Louisiana three years back. I inherited this store and have my offices in back.”

Edward smiled. “So your father was a merchant, then,” he said, using a lofty word for the rather small establishment.

“My father was the town drunk,” Boone said without inflection. “The man who owned this store raised me from the time I was ten years old.” Boone finally turned toward Edward, his dark gray eyes like flint. “What exactly are you trying to determine, sir?”

“Whether you would be suitable for Amelia. She is the sister and granddaughter of an earl, and has been raised as a lady. I’ve already made one terrible mistake, and I don’t want to make another.”

Boone let out a humorless chuckle. “Amelia doesn’t want to marry me. Shouldn’t that decide the matter for you?”

“Letting my sister decide what is right for her has thus far been disastrous. I have failed in my duty to her and have been far too lenient, but Amelia has always touched a soft spot in my heart. I don’t think I should make the same mistake again.” Edward looked at the man, wishing he could see inside to his soul. He loved his sister and wanted her to be happy. But he truly couldn’t see her happy in this place or with this man, if he were to be honest. Boone was entirely too serious for his little sister, and he feared she’d wilt living with such a dour man in a place like Small Fork. “Would you consider moving your practice?”

For a moment, Edward thought he detected some strong emotion in the other man’s eyes, but it was quickly masked before he could be certain. “I’ve never considered such a thing,” he said carefully.

“Yes, but would you? Frankly, sir, from what I’ve seen of this town, it does not seem to be a very welcoming place. It’s not at all what Amelia is used to, not what she expected, to be sure.”

Boone felt a sudden surge of unexpected joy. To leave Small Fork, to start new—it was something he’d thought about deep in the night when he awoke, sweating hard, his throat still hurting from his screams. But the plain fact was he could not leave Julia alone, unprotected, at the mercy of this mean place. He had no doubt, none at all, that once word reached her husband that Boone was gone, Sam Benson would return and finish what he’d started. And Julia wasn’t well, her wounds still needed tending, and who would do that if he were gone?

“I don’t see the need to leave, sir.”

Edward gave him a sharp look. “Even if it meant my sister’s happiness? I could use a young physician in Hollings. The one we have now is quite old and ready to retire. You’d be kept busy with your practice and Amelia would be close to her family and all that she loves.”

Boone swallowed down the hope forming in his throat. England seemed about as far away from Small Fork as a man could get, but he couldn’t leave. Not now. “I appreciate the offer,” he said, meaning it with every fiber of his being. “I’d like to ask you a question, if I might.”

Edward nodded his consent.

“Would Amelia’s life really be that terrible if she returned home alone?”

Edward looked grim. “I’m afraid it would. Though things are changing, women of our class have very few options if they do not marry. My sister has a joy about her. Usually,” he added, for Amelia had seemed less than joyous this day. “I would hate to see her alone, a spinster without a home of her own. She loves children, and I know she’s always dreamed of a family. She’s been alone much of her life, you see. Our parents died when she was quite young, and she lost a sister she adored, as well. I would like to see her well married and happy.”

“I don’t want you to force her into anything,” Boone said. He’d never thought to marry, to have children of his own. An unnamed dread nagged at him, made it impossible for him even to picture such a thing as children running about his feet, a wife in his bed. God, he wished he hadn’t said anything about marriage. What a stupid fool he was to think for even a moment that he could have a normal life. “Let’s just forget I said anything. Amelia can do better than either me or Carson. She’ll just end up hating me for forcing this on her.”

Edward looked at the man and felt a strong empathy. He knew what it was like to love a woman desperately and believe that woman did not love you. Unrequited love was hardly romantic; it was the purest torture. “To be honest, I don’t believe my sister is capable of such a dark emotion as hate.”

“I hate him,” Amelia said fiercely.

“That’s a sin, dear,” Maggie said dryly.

Amelia gave her a dark look. “I feel as if I was one step away from putting my foot on a ship to go home and he’s thrown up a hundred-foot barricade. I just know Edward’s talking to him right now and arranging our wedding day and honeymoon. Perhaps they’re agreeing upon how many children we shall have.”

“Would that be so terrible?”

“I want to go home.”

“Yes, dear, I know. What if you did? With Boone?”

Amelia gave her a frustrated look. “But I don’t want to marry Boone. I don’t love him and he doesn’t love me.”

Maggie waved a hand at her as if that didn’t matter in the least.

“I want what you and Edward have,” Amelia said, hoping to appeal to Maggie’s sentimental side.

“No,” Maggie said. “You want what you thought you had with Carson, which was a fantasy.”

Amelia scowled, mostly because she knew Maggie was right. “I don’t love him.”

“Yes, you keep saying that,” Maggie said, implying that she was protesting too much. “But I do not believe the nonfeeling is mutual. I suspect that Boone may indeed love you.”

For some reason, Maggie’s words made Amelia’s heart beat a bit faster. But what rubbish. Boone had kissed a pretty girl at sunset because…because…“Why would you say such a thing?”

Maggie shrugged. “Just intuition. The way he gave you that handkerchief, the way he took a step toward you when you started to cry, as if he wanted to be the one to comfort you. The way he shot daggers at Carson when he refused to marry you. Honestly, Amelia, if he’s not in love with you, he’s halfway there.”