Jane's Gift (9 page)

Lyssa nodded her approval to Jane. “Go ahead and bring Sophia. I’ll stay here with them. Patrick is taking everyone else.” They all trooped toward the Santa stage and stood in line alongside the gleaming red and silver engine. Jane trembled in anticipation because surely, Chris hung out in the cab of the truck. She knew she’d catch a glimpse of him somehow.

“Jane, come on.” Mac yelled over his shoulder and she realized she was lagging behind, dreamy-eyed over a man she shouldn’t be dreamy-eyed over.

Why not? You’re always there for your children. What about you?

She ignored the nagging little voice inside her head, focused instead on the excitement she saw on her son’s face, on the way Sophia chanted
Santa
over and over again. Why Lexi didn’t join them, she wasn’t sure, and she needed to question her further once they got back home.

“Captain Nelson!” Logan’s screech made Jane’s heart drop to her toes. She couldn’t contain the smile that broke out at his approach.

“Hey bro,” she heard Mac greet, and the two men clapped each other on the back, as men did. Logan stood between them, set down by Mac a few minutes ago, and he gazed up at Chris with adoring eyes. Chris reached out, ruffled Logan’s hair affectionately.

Jane’s heart was now firmly back in her chest, since, at the gesture, it had done a flip-flop so grand, she was left breathless. Touched at the easy affection she saw between the three males just ahead of her.

“Hi, Jane,” Chris said when his warm golden eyes landed upon her, his smile gentle.

She returned his greeting with a quick smile, her eyes unable to stop from drifting down the length of his body and then back up. Unabashedly checking him out. But he looked oh, so attractive in his uniform and matching navy blue coat.

“Where’s Lexi?”

It touched her all over again that he noticed Lexi wasn’t around. “She’s with my brother’s girls over by the tree. They didn’t want to see Santa.”

“Who doesn’t want to see Santa?” he asked incredulously, which excited Logan all over again.

“Did you talk to him? Did you tell him you knew me?”

Chris laughed and knelt so he was on Logan’s level. “I told him about all three of you, plus your mom, and how deserving your family is. He agreed, so watch for an extra load of presents under the tree this year.”

“I can’t wait to tell him what I want.” Logan started in on his list, which was forever long, and Chris stood, took hold of Logan’s hand as they inched up the line.

The man had the patience of a saint.

Patrick, who had been way ahead of them in line, approached with two of his four in tow. “Lyssa told me the girls want Lexi to spend the night. Is that okay?”

“Well, only if Mom agrees to it.” Which of course, Jane knew she would.

“Lyssa already called and confirmed it. So if you don’t mind…” Patrick shrugged. “Like one more is going to make a difference.”

“No, that’s fine. She has clothes over there, so she’s good. Just have her call me in the morning.”

“Will do. See you all later.” Patrick nodded and then walked away, winding through the thinning crowd.

The line started to move quickly. When they finally got to the front, Sophia screamed when placed on Santa’s lap, but Logan spent so much time with the poor man, Mac eventually had to drag him away.

“You have a tree yet?” Chris asked as they stood together watching Logan accept a giant candy cane for himself and his sister from one of Santa’s elf helpers.

“Not yet. I’m not really sure when I’m going to get one.”

“Uh huh.” Chris nodded, rocking back on his heels. He didn’t so much as look at her, kept his eyes trained on the kids, who were both tearing into their candy canes. “I have a permit to cut down a tree. You want it?”

A fresh tree sounded like heaven. In the past, they’d always used an artificial one, since they didn’t shed needles and aggravate Stephen’s allergies. She’d indulged in buying fresh wreaths to hang on the front door…but it hadn’t been the same.

“Don’t you want the tree for yourself?”

He shrugged. “I’m not home much. And besides, it’s not like I have much for decorations. I’d rather you take it. The kids want one, right?”

“Definitely.”

“Well, then I’ll cut it down for you this weekend.”

“That would be wonderful,” she said, turning to smile at him.

“Want to go with me?”

…

Chris waited with bated breath for Jane’s answer, hoping like crazy she wouldn’t turn him down.

On the other hand, he wanted to kick himself across the town square for even asking her such a question. Setting himself up to get rejected yet again was stupid.

Being around Jane, it was as if he couldn’t help himself. He’d become a glutton for punishment. He’d realized on Thanksgiving night, once he got back at his house—despite her protests, despite his own, maybe he didn’t want to be “just friends.”

Her attitude that night at Thanksgiving had intrigued him. She’d become flirtatious, funny. Over dessert, her brothers had shared story after story, many of them starring Jane. They’d involved her in their antics and surprisingly, she’d played right along.

He’d enjoyed the stories. Enjoyed even more watching Jane blush and laugh and try her best to keep her brothers quiet. It didn’t work. And he’d been glad for it.

“What day are you going?” Her soft voice washed over him, made all sorts of things stand at attention, and he focused on the cold air, the fact that plenty of families and children, Jane’s children, surrounded them. Anything to get his mind out of the gutter.

“Probably Sunday.”

“You’re off?”

“I was off today, but the mayor asked me to drive the engine as a favor. In fact, I need to get it back to the station. They’re engine-less and that’s not supposed to happen.” He paused, studied her carefully, looking for some sort of reaction or emotion on her pretty face.

She looked frustratingly neutral. He wished he felt the same. But his stomach was tied up in knots, and he swore he was sweating in thirty-degree weather.

“Lexi’s staying the night at my parents’ house, so I’m thinking I’ll be busy with family tomorrow. But Sunday would definitely work.”

A twinge of jealousy moved through him and he tried to ignore it. Damn if he didn’t wish for an invitation to hang out with the family again. Even if they weren’t doing anything but sitting around and eating Thanksgiving leftovers, he would’ve enjoyed it.

Especially if pumpkin pie was involved…oh yes, and Jane.

“Sounds good. We’ll load up in my truck and take a drive up the mountain. I know the perfect spot, full of trees.”

“All right.” She didn’t even hesitate, and the vulnerable smile she flashed shot him straight in the heart.

“Okay. Perfect.” He nodded, shoved his hands in his pockets. Afraid he might grab her and pull her close. “I’ll pick you up at your house, say around one?”

“I’ll let the kids know. They’ll be thrilled.”

He had a feeling he was more thrilled than the children could ever be.

Chapter Nine

Chris was exhausted, wiped. He could barely keep his eyes open. But he couldn’t deny he still wanted to see Jane, despite the fact he’d gotten minimal sleep the last couple of nights.

He’d gone back to the station to drop off the engine Friday only to find Eric sick as a dog, hovering over the toilet. Some sort of nasty stomach bug had his second-in-command fevered and glassy-eyed, so Chris had immediately sent him home and taken over.

The weekend had been busy. Icy roads brought car accidents, both minor and major, and it didn’t help that there was extra holiday traffic. Get-togethers brought arguments and chaos, which usually resulted in more medical aid calls. He’d gone on quite a few, been first on scene before the ambulance arrived.

One of them had involved Audrey Daniels and her ex. From the looks of it, Audrey and Pete had gotten into a knock-down, drag-’em-out fight. Both of them showed signs of abuse and the police had called for medical assistance.

Pete had a bloody nose and a black eye. Apparently Audrey knew how to pack a punch—which was crazy. This had been a woman who’d seriously pursued him last summer, despite the fact she was married. She’d shot him a look last night that he supposed she thought sultry, but it didn’t quite meet the mark, considering she had a bloody and swollen lip.

Family drama. It always quietly freaked him out. His parents had fought like cats and dogs when he was a kid. Though his father had never raised a hand toward his mom, the yelling and screaming had been ferocious, especially near the end of their marriage.

Yet another reminder that despite everything, love didn’t usually work. People couldn’t keep it together. Making it worse, he’d caught the stomach bug he sent Eric home for last night.

Tired, slightly dehydrated, and lying in bed, he thought of Jane. Her marriage looked and sounded ideal, and still it ended in tragedy. There were no guarantees in life; he knew this. So why let your heart get involved only to have it smashed to bits? That had always been his theory, and he’d held fast to it his entire adult life.

He still didn’t understand why he was so willing to let that go when it came to Jane. She should scare the hell out of him.

The thought of never seeing her again scared the hell out of him more.

Now with a grudging heart and a weak and achy body, he’d gone to Jane’s house to pick up her and the kids. Questions had run through his mind repeatedly.
Why are you doing this? What are you gaining? Her daughter hates you, Jane only wants to be friends, so why all the torture?

But then Jane had opened the door, pretty and fresh in jeans and a bulky, soft pink hooded sweatshirt. Her dark hair a smooth curve that framed her face, her smile bright, the children gathered at her feet.

Well, the two youngest were. Lexi was nowhere in sight.

“Hey. Are you ready to go?” He tried to keep the weariness out of his voice but knew he wasn’t successful by the look of concern on her face.

“The kids have been ready since last night.” She smiled and it sent an arrow straight to his heart. “So have I. But are you? You don’t look so good.”

Chris shrugged. At least he wasn’t puking any longer. “I covered for Eric and worked the last thirty-six hours. He got sick.” No need to mention he did, too. She’d send him home for sure. “We were pretty busy.”

Her delicate brows drew down. She looked disappointed—and was that concern? “Should we get together some other time? Since you’re not feeling well?”

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll be all right. I don’t want to let the kids down. Or you. ” He tried to smile but even his face felt tired. His bones were weary, his head hurt—and he rarely got headaches.

But a promise was a promise and he didn’t want to let this little family down.

“You’re so sweet.” Her gaze softened. “Better watch out or I might take advantage of you.”

Well, wasn’t that comment loaded with all sorts of potential? He stood straighter, told himself to snap out of his funk. He had a flirtatious Jane on his hands and he needed to be on his game.

“So where’s Alexis?”

Her green eyes went a shade darker and she cleared her throat. “She’s still at my parents’ house. She didn’t want to leave her cousins.”

“Oh, okay.” Lexi probably couldn’t tolerate the idea of spending any amount of time with him.

“They leave later this afternoon and she wanted to get in some last-minute playtime first.”

“It’s cool.” He smiled at Logan and Sophia and earned shy smiles in return. “We’ll have a good time, right, guys?”

“Yeah!” they both shouted enthusiastically.

Chris helped Jane load up the kids in the backseat of his truck and then they were off, headed up the mountain to a grove he’d heard about from a coworker. It was pretty common for most local residents to purchase a tree permit; he’d gone ahead and bought his even though he didn’t plan on having a Christmas tree. Really, what was the point? He worked long hours and spent most of his time off these days either outdoors, vegging on the couch, or in bed.

Man, when had his social life taken such a dive?

“Look, snow!” Logan rapped his knuckles against the window.

“I wonder when we’ll get more snowfall,” Jane murmured as she stared out the passenger side window. “I love when it’s fresh during the holidays. Makes everything so cozy.”

He had a feeling she’d make him feel pretty damn cozy. “I think we’re getting snow next. Right now we’re only a few hundred feet above Lone Pine Lake, and that rain we had last night was pretty slushy.” Hence the sketchy road conditions. “Car accidents kept us busy last night.”

“Oh, that’s terrible.” Jane turned to look at him, concern in her eyes. “No wonder you’re so tired.”

“Yeah.” He didn’t feel like mentioning Audrey’s call. Or his illness. Damn, he hoped he wasn’t contagious. “People, especially out-of-towners, don’t know how to drive on the windy roads in bad weather.”

“Neither do locals sometimes.” She smiled. “I’d be slipping and sliding all over the place. I’m not used to driving in this kind of weather.”

He returned the smile, tried his best to pay attention to exactly where he was going, looking for a full-enough grove where’d they have their pick of trees. He put the truck in four-wheel drive and the kids cheered and laughed with every bump he drove over. It made him smile.

Once he found a good spot, he parked and the kids spilled out, their little booted feet crunching and sinking over the new snow. The rapidly moving clouds cast dark shadows upon the grove one second and then showcased the bright sun the next. Another storm was coming in, and coming in fast. They needed to get moving and find a tree so they could beat the brunt of it.

Jane set about on her search, casting a critical eye at every tree she came upon. Chris watched with amusement at the serious way she wrapped her hand around a tree and shook it, or how she brushed her small hand over the branches, fingering the pine needles.

When she caught him watching, she smiled and shrugged. “I want it to be just right.”

“Like Goldilocks?” He tipped his head toward her.

She laughed softly. “I guess. Last year at this time I wasn’t…in the Christmas mood. This year I’m determined to make it special for the kids.”

“I would want to do the same.”

“My children have been through enough. Even though my family rallied around them and helped make the holidays fun, they were still suffering over the loss of their father. It wasn’t fair to them.”

“I’m sure you’ll make it awesome for them this year.” He took a step toward her. “You’re a good mom, Jane.” Grabbing her hand, he laced their fingers together. “So, what exactly are your big holiday plans?”

“Well.” She smiled, the joy clearly reflected in her eyes. “Thanks to your invitation, this is just the start. I also want to take the kids caroling around the neighborhood, maybe go see
The Nutcracker
in Sacramento. Oh, we might go to that winter wonderland thing they have going on up at the ski lodge.”

“Sounds fun.”

“And corny, right? But yeah, it’ll be fun.” She shrugged, squeezing his hand. “Thank you again for taking us to get the tree. Logan and Sophia have been anxious about it ever since they woke up this morning.”

“Lexi wasn’t interested, though, huh?” Why did he keep picking at this wound? He needed to accept that the little girl didn’t like him.

“Lexi is still unhappy with me.” Jane shook her head. “I went over to my parents’ house yesterday and had a talk with her. Turns out her oldest cousin told her Santa doesn’t exist. She’s now accusing me of being a liar all these years.”

“Ah, man.” He could remember clearly the moment he discovered Santa was no longer real. He figured every kid remembered that life-altering moment. He’d been eight—the same age as Lexi.

“I know. I read Patrick the riot act and he apologized, but really, I can’t blame him. Madison’s almost nine so it’s understandable. I just wish she hadn’t said anything.” Jane paused and her voice lowered. “I think Lexi clung to the notion because she needed to believe, you know? It gave her hope, believing in Santa. She’s had to grow up so quickly in so many ways…”

“Did you try to convince her otherwise?” Logan chose that moment to throw a snowball at the back of Chris’s knees and he groaned playfully when the damp blob hit him. Chris bent to scoop a handful and tossed it back at Logan, missing him on purpose.

“Yeah, but she wouldn’t hear any of it.” Jane sighed, stroking her fingers along yet another tree. “This time of year is supposed to be magical. All about the children, you know? I hate to see her become a non-believer.”

“It’s a shame.” He nodded his head toward the tree she stood next to. “You like that one?”

“I do. It has a nice shape. Good color, too.” She bent her head and sniffed. “Nothing smells better than a Christmas tree.”

He had to disagree. He thought Jane smelled far better than any old tree. “You want that one, or should we look around some more?”

“I’ll keep it under consideration, but I wouldn’t mind checking out a few more. What if I’m missing the absolute best tree?” She beamed, the sight of it sending his earlier, way too cynical thoughts scattering to the wind. All it took was being around this woman and he turned into a slobbering puppy dog, following her and eating up every word she uttered.

He enjoyed watching her interact with her children, the tender way she spoke to them, listened to them, the way she brightened their moods with a few choice words and sweet kisses. They demanded her attention constantly, and even though she was preoccupied with tree-picking, she still knew how to make them feel good.

She was a good mom, an affectionate mom, and despite what happened to her, she always soldiered on. She’d never mentioned it, but he had a feeling her injuries had a permanent effect on her movement, the way she did things. She favored her right side in general and he noticed she walked with a slight limp this afternoon, as if her knee and thigh bothered her. Again, the hair covered the left side of her face in such a way that he had a hard time making out her scars.

Curiosity consumed him, and though he’d wondered before, now he really wanted to know how badly she’d been burned. Would she ever tell him? Would he ever see?

Did he want to see?

Sophia walked beside him as they followed her mother, Logan as usual running far ahead of everyone else. The wind had picked up, whipping cold and brisk around them, and Jane stopped at another tree, shoving her hands in the front pocket of her sweatshirt as she contemplated it for a moment before she finally shook her head.

They wandered around some more, Chris trying his hardest to ignore the wind and how sick he felt. He wished he were as blissfully ignorant as the kids, running around like it was a warm spring day. Laughing and grabbing at snow with their gloved hands, stomping their booted feet in the increasingly slushy stuff again and again.

“I think I want this one,” Jane finally said, once they’d circled back to the original tree she’d picked out.

“No surprise,” he said with a slight smile.

She looked sheepish. “I should’ve just agreed when you asked. I’m freezing. Where my skin was grafted, it’s really thin. I feel the cold so much more now.”

He appreciated how casually she mentioned that. Was she starting to feel comfortable with him? “You should’ve said something.” He really had no clue just how much she’d endured, how much she still suffered.

Not one clue.

“It’s my own fault.” She shrugged, her mouth quirked in a little smile. “I’ll be all right.”

“I’ll hurry up and cut this thing down and then we’ll head back. Let me grab my saw.” He started for the truck, pondering what she’d just said. Pondering
everything
she’d said. She was sharing so much information from the accident and her injuries, and he liked it. Wished he had the courage to ask her questions and find out more details.

It hadn’t felt right to drill Mac about what happened. He didn’t want to make him suspicious, and besides, he didn’t want to pry. When she was ready to tell him, she would.

Within minutes, he had the tree sawed down and set carefully in the back of the truck. He wrapped it in canvas to protect the branches and needles and then they were on their way, the kids whining about staying longer and Jane shooting him thankful glances that said she was glad they left.

The headache that had nagged quietly through the day roared to life the instant he was in the car, making it hard for him to concentrate on the road. The heater ran, and Jane actually shivered, rubbing her hands in front of the vent. He wished he could turn it off.

He was tired and so warm. His bones hurt, his head hurt…

Oh man, his head. He breathed deeply, thoughts tumbling back at him. Eric had returned to work this morning, bright eyed and raring to go. Whatever he’d caught had been quick, Eric said, but it made him bone weary about twenty-four hours in.

Damn. He didn’t want to deal with this, not now. He was due for a couple of days off, since he’d switched with Eric, and the last thing he needed was to be sick. Chris shook his head once and pushed the hair away from his forehead. His eyelids felt heavy. He probably shouldn’t be driving…