Jealousy (27 page)

“
I drank Guinness,” Kenny boasted, “and a few shots of Absolut.”

“
Guinness?”

“
I even ate bar food.”

“
You ate food in a bar?”

Everyone knew that Kenny was put off by the thought of eating fast food.  Bar food was the ultimate taboo for him.  He giggled and nodded. 
“Uh-huh.  I had nachos, chicken fingers and fries.”

“
That’s disgusting.” Justin put his hand on his hip and turned to Nick.  “Are you trying to butch up my boy?”

Nick just laughed at him.

“You wait,” Justin said to Heather, “I’m gonna bring your guy to a gay bar next time.”

#

The thought made Heather roll with laughter.

Nick looked confused. 
“What?  Why is that funny?”

“
You’d go to a gay bar with us?” she asked, skeptically.

He shrugged. 
“Sure.  Why not?”

She abruptly stopped laughing.  Nick was serious. 
“Would you really go to a gay bar?”

“
Yeah.  Why?”

“
Have you ever been to a gay bar?”

“
No.  What’s the big deal?”

“
Because guys make out and stuff.  Are you gonna be comfortable with that?”

“
You know I don’t care about that, Heather.  That doesn’t bother me.  These two kiss in front of me all the time,” he said, extending his thumb toward Justin and Kenny.  “If you guys all want to go to a gay bar, I’ll go with you.  It’s not a problem.”  He paused and then chuckled softly under his breath.  “As long as nobody’s having sex on the table in front of me, or anything like that, I don’t care what anybody does.”

None of Heather
’s boyfriends ever went to a gay bar with her and no matter how many times she begged Peter, he adamantly refused.  The only other boyfriend who was at ease with and accepted Justin’s sexuality was Dominick, but that relationship was obviously out of the question.  She looked at Nick in awe.  “Really?”

“
Really,” he nodded.

She didn
’t know how to respond, so she stared at him in silence.  A lump welled up in her throat and a warm feeling settled in the center of her chest.  She didn’t understand why she felt like she was going to cry, and she hugged Nick.  It finally dawned on her that Nick was the first man who didn’t seem the least bit threatened or jealous of Justin or concerned with his sexuality.  She started to evaluate how much she really cared about him . . . and it scared her.

Chapter Fifty-Eight:

Heather was giddy, almost euphoric.
The past few weeks with Nick were the happiest she had been in a long time. She couldn’t stop talking about him. She couldn’t stop talking – period.

Justin kneeled in front of the stereo and shuffled through CDs. 
Heather sat next to him on the carpet so he could pay attention to her.  He handed her a stack of CDs to look through, but she tossed them on the floor next to her.

Kenny reached for the CDs and quickly started stacking them into a neat pile.
Heather knew it drove him crazy that she wasn’t keeping them in order. She made eye contact with him to include him in the conversation, but he looked rather uncomfortable.  Then she realized it was because she was talking about her sex life.  She didn’t even remember how she got on the subject.  Poor Kenny sorted the CDs so fast that his hands were a blur.  He looked like he was ready to bolt. Heather knew Kenny wasn’t interested in hearing details about the things she did in bed, but she couldn’t stop herself. Her mouth was on a constant adrenaline run.

“
When I was younger,” she said, “I had no clue about the male erogenous zones.  I didn’t know men were aroused by anal manipulation.  I remember trying some of the things Justin taught me on a lot of guys.”

That got Kenny
’s attention. His hands froze, and he looked her straight in the eye.

“
Some were shocked at how much they enjoyed it,” she said, “and so was I.  Like that hot blond guy I hooked up with when me and Justin took that California vacation.  What was his name?”  She snapped her fingers and tried to jog her memory.  “Jake!  That was it.”

“
I remember him,” Justin said.  “He had that cute friend, Ryan, who I hooked up with. The one who was hopelessly in the closet.”  Justin put his hand on Kenny’s leg and smiled.  “It was years before I met you, baby.”

Kenny barely took his eyes off
of Heather to glance at Justin.  Kenny was upset and Heather wondered if it was because he was uncomfortable with the subject matter or because Justin mentioned an old lover. No matter, she still couldn’t stop babbling.

“
Other guys wanted no part of it, like Peter,” she said.  “He would never let me touch him back there.  I tried to explain to him that if he would just relax he would enjoy it, but he always refused.  It got to the point where he told me that if I kept pushing the issue, he wouldn’t sleep with me anymore.”

“
What the fuck kinda thing is that to say?” Justin asked.

“
I don’t know,” Heather replied.  “It’s not like I tried it every time we had sex.  I just wanted to show him that there were other things we could do that he might like,” she waved her hand, “but that was Peter.”

Thank God Nick was in her life now.  He was as wild in the bedroom as she was.  She slowly began to smile.
“Nick, on the other hand, was a lot more willing to experiment with the idea.  He was a little nervous at first, but he finds it really pleasurable.”  She threw her head back and laughed – really loud.  “Oh my God!  He would fuckin’
kill
me if he knew I told you that!  But, thank you, Justin, for teaching me how to please a man!”

Kenny
’s face turned blood red, and he shifted his weight from hip to hip on the carpet.  He flared his nostrils and snorted loudly.

It made Heather laugh harder.
“Don’t be such a prude, Kenny. We can talk about this stuff.”

Kenny
’s eyes grew larger and he pressed his lips firmly together. “It never occurred to me to ask this question before,” he said.  “I want an honest answer.  I want the truth.”  He shifted his eyes between Heather and Justin.  “Did anything ever go on between you two?”

Heather immediately stopped laughing.
For a second she thought he was joking, to cut through his embarrassment, but it was obvious that Kenny was serious – and really pissed off.

Justin started to chuckle. 
“You’re jealous of Heather?  Oh, you’re so cute.”  He tried to hug Kenny, but Kenny shoved him away.

“
Don’t fuckin’ touch me until you answer the question!” Kenny said.

Heather pulled Justin off
of Kenny. “Stop it.  Leave him alone.  He’s serious.”  Heather grabbed Kenny’s chin in her hand and turned his face toward her.  She leaned closer to him and looked intently into his blazing eyes.  “Look at me when I say this,” she said.  “The answer to your question is no.  Nothing ever went on between me and Justin.  We never made out.  I never had a crush on him.  I always knew he was gay, and he always knew I knew.  We never needed to have a discussion about it.  I love him like a brother, nothing more.”

He glared back at her without averting his eyes, while she still held his chin in her hand.

“Do you believe me?” she asked.

His deep green eyes penetrated hers, while he contemplated his answer. 
“I don’t know.”

Heather dropped her hand from his face, and she leaned back. 
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

Kenny narrowed his eyes and faced Justin. 
“Is she telling the truth?  And you better tell me, because I swear, if you lie to me, I will never fucking forgive you!”

Justin rolled his eyes. 
“Of course she’s telling the truth, you idiot.  I told you I’ve never been with a woman.  Even if I was curious or wanted to experiment, I wouldn’t do it with Heather.  Are you out of your fuckin’ mind?”

“
Well,” Kenny looked away, “the way she was talking . . .”

“
You know me and Heather talk about everything, including sex.  We
talk
, that’s it.”

Kenny sat in silence and lowered his eyes.  He picked at a piece of the carpet with his fingers
, and his cheeks flushed hot pink again.

Justin rolled his eyes and reached out to him. 
“C’mere.”

Kenny buried his face in the crook of Justin
’s neck.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.  “I should’ve known better. I feel like a fool.”

Justin smiled do
wn at Kenny and stroked his cheek with the back of his hand. “You’re really cute when you get mad like that,” he said.

Their voices were so low that Heather could barely hear them, even though they were only sitting two feet away.  She loved watching them together.  They were so tender with one another.  She didn
’t want to interrupt them, but she felt bad for Kenny. He looked so embarrassed. “Kenny,” she said, “when I say I’m telling the truth, I’m telling the truth.  I wouldn’t sit here and lie to your face, you know.”

“
I know,” he replied meekly.  “I guess I just needed to hear it from Justin.”

Heather exhaled. 
“C’mere and give me a hug.”

Kenny leaned forward, hugged her
, and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.  It shocked her.  He never kissed her on the lips before.  She stopped and looked into his eyes.  They smiled back at her, and in that intense moment she saw how much he loved and trusted her.  It was something she never shared with anyone before, besides Justin.

Chapter Fifty-Nine:

Nick slept over almost every night.  Heather loved having him in her bed.  She loved the way he wrapped his arms around her when they slept and the way his short bristly beard tickled her cheek.  She was still concerned about the amount of time they spent together, but it never stopped her from seeing him.  She asked him to stay over again tonight.  She didn
’t want to sleep alone. She hated the desolation and emptiness of her bed when he wasn’t there.  She wouldn’t let Nick get into bed before she folded down the covers and fluffed up the pillows.  It became a nightly ritual.

“
Can you hand me a t-shirt from the bottom draw of the night stand?” she asked.

Nick instinctively reached for the top drawer.

“No! Not that one!” She tried to stop him, but it was too late.  The drawer was already open and revealed an array of pornography and sex toys.  Her fingertips flew to her mouth with embarrassment, and she felt the warmth on her face.  “That’s just some of my toys,” she said, with a sheepish grin.

Nick stared down at the drawer
’s contents with erotic fascination.  He slowly turned his head toward Heather.  “Show me.”

Heather had
never masturbated in front of anyone before.  At first, she was embarrassed and almost laughed, but then the thought excited her.  She walked around the bed and reached into the drawer.  She threw a dildo, a vibrator and a bottle of lubricating jelly onto the bed.  She placed one of her favorite porn flicks into the DVD player and undressed.  She lay back on the bed with her legs spread apart and forgot that Nick was watching her.  The DVD played for about a minute before she touched herself.  She slid her hand down her abdomen and deep between her legs.  She was already wet.  She placed the heels of her feet on the bed and raised her knees.  She lubricated the dildo and inserted it into her vagina.  She closed her eyes and arched her back as she slid the dildo in and out.  Her body tightened around it and her breaths deepened.  She pulled it out and tossed it onto the bed.  It left a wet stain on the pale gray comforter.  She set the vibrator on low and rubbed in against herself.  A tingling sensation ran between her legs.  She increased the speed of the vibrator and continued to stroke herself with it.  She leaned her head back and jutted her chin up to the ceiling.  She clutched the sheet with her free hand and her body shuddered as she climaxed.  She gazed up at Nick through half-open lids.  His shirt was off and his jeans were unzipped.  In his right hand, he held his exposed, erect penis.

“
That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” he said.  He crawled on the bed and on top of her without taking the time to remove his jeans.  He thrust himself deep inside of her and exploded.  “You’re incredible, Heather,” he whispered.  “You’re as wonderful as you are beautiful.  I don’t want to be with anyone else, and I don’t want you to be with anyone else either.  I want us to be exclusive.”

She wanted to commit, but she was afraid.  Her heart was still vulnerable.  She couldn
’t handle another devastating break up.  She wondered if she would ever allow herself to love again.  “Can’t we just take this slow?  It’s only been two months.  I’m not ready to make a commitment yet.”

“
Only two months? I know two months doesn’t seem like a long time, but we’re so in sync with one another.  When it’s right, you know it.  It’s like we’ve been together for so much longer.”  He paused.  “Am I the only one who feels it?”