Jinx On The Divide (35 page)

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"Oh," said Betony. "Oh!" said Felix. "What?"

"Listen to this! ... It's unbelievable....
The end result is two identical organisms on either side of the Divide, both of whom think they are the true image."

They looked at each other. Betony shook her head in wonderment. "There's another you and me, back in my world?"

"Apparently."

"And do they know about us?"

"I have no idea," said Felix.

Betony suddenly clapped her hands, and her eyes lit up. "Do you realize what this means, Felix? In my world, Nimby may still be alive. And Thornbeak will still have me as an assistant -- Fuzzy's useless -- and my parents will get to meet me again, and ... What?"

Felix had gone as white as a sheet. "I've just thought of something else," he said.

"What?"

"If magic doesn't work over here anymore, does that mean my illness will come back?"

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***

19

***

When Felix came to, he was aware that he was shivering before he was aware of anything else. He opened his eyes and sat up. He realized he was sitting on snow, so he got to his feet. Everything was pearly gray and misty, as though he'd found himself in the middle of a cloud.

He stood up and stretched. Changing dimensions always made him feel a bit odd, as though he'd just gotten over the flu. He went over to Nimby. It wasn't good for a magic carpet to be lying flat out like that in the snow. "Hey, Nimby," he said. "I'd get up if I were you."

There was no response.

Betony stirred slightly, so he went over to her. She sat up and glared at him. "What?" he said.

"You've got a short memory. You dragged me over to a spitfire crevasse, forced me to straddle it, and held me

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prisoner while you read out the Divide spell. What gave you the right to make that decision for me?"

"We're all right, though, aren't we?"

Betony looked at him as though he'd just crawled out from under a particularly unsavory stone. "Where's Nimby?" she asked.

"There," said Felix, pointing to him.

Betony went over to him and stroked him with the palm of her hand.

"What happened?" said Nimby, fluttering to life. "Why are we still here?"

"What do you mean, still here?" said Felix.

A big shape loomed out of the mist, followed by a smaller one.

"Fuzzy?" said Felix. "Rhino? You've come across, too?"

"You haven't gone anywhere," said Rhino. "Look, here's your watch and your compass ..."

Felix stood there, looking from one to the other. "That's crazy," he said.

"How weird," said Rhino, holding Felix's watch to his ear. "It's stopped." He looked at the compass, and then he shook it. "That's not working anymore, either."

After a moment or two Betony said, "You mean, I'm not stuck in Felix's world for the rest of my life?"

"No," said Fuzzy. "You're still in your own world, and the Divide has closed for good."

Felix turned to look, but the red-hot gash in the mountain

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wasn't there anymore. The place where the Divide had been was just a ridge of gray rock, poking through the snow.
"No."
He shook his head. "I don't believe it, I
won't
believe it. The jinx box was a liar." Felix opened his notebook and started to flick through it, looking for the Divide spell. The others glanced at one another. His flicking became more and more feverish. "What's all this stuff?" he said, his voice getting shrill and agitated. "I don't remember all this ..."

"Let's go back to the Pink Harpoon," said Rhino. "We'll freeze out here."

"No, hang on, I've got it."

"It won't work, Felix."

"I've got to try."

He straddled the ridge and read out the spell. Nothing. He tried again. Still nothing.

"Pink Harpoon, then?" said Nimby.

Felix sighed heavily, nodded, and climbed aboard.

By the time they reached the inn, the mist had gone, the sun had come out, and Felix had realized that Ironclaw's quill had been busy on its own. They sat down outside, on the veranda, and read what it had written. The double negative had done irreparable harm -- it had created a positive, which had worked the opposite way and closed the Divide forever.

"I'm really sorry, Betony," said Felix, looking up from the notebook. "You never did get your vacation in my world. Subways and escalators aren't that great, though, honest."

"You're being very fully fledged about all this, Felix," said

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Fuzzy. "You do understand that you're stranded over here for good now, don't you?"

For some reason, it hadn't sunk in. He knew it, on a practical level, but the implications just hadn't hit home. They did now: He doubled over, put his head on his knees, and groaned. He'd been through all this before, the first time he'd visited Betony's world. He'd agonized over his parents' grieving for him, imagined living without them, wondered how much he would miss them. After a moment or two, he realized that this time, it didn't cut quite as deeply. He was older, for one thing, and healthier. More independent. He didn't need them as much as he had. And his father would
know
where he'd gone, would know he hadn't died. He'd miss both of them, certainly, but he wouldn't miss his own world all that much. Exhaust fumes and prepackaged food and the crush of the rush hour? This world was nicer, fresher, unspoiled. Perhaps it might even stay that way, now that the jinx box had really and truly been destroyed. And he wasn't the only human anymore, either. There was Rhino to reminisce with, if that was what he wanted -- and Rhino was OK these days. Nevertheless, Rhino had remained with Betony after all, the downside the box had predicted.... Would she prefer his company in the end?

"I'm the idiot," said Rhino. "I'm the one who said the word by mistake. I'm sorry, Felix."

"You had that firecracker in your pocket as well," said Nimby. "Science and magic. I
knew
it. I bet that's why you couldn't cross back."

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"Shouldn't we finish reading the rest of the quill's entry and find out?" said Betony.

"OK," said Felix dully. What difference did it make how it had happened? It had happened. He found the right part and ran a finger along the text:

If a scientific object is present when open sesame is declaimed, and something attempts to cross the Divide before it closes completely, the result is catastrophic... the self will do the seemingly impossible and actually divide.

"Turn sideways, Felix," joked Rhino. "Nope, you're still all there."

"Oh, wow," said Felix. "Listen to this! It's unbelievable."

The end result is two identical organisms on either side of the Divide, both of them think they are the true image.

Betony gasped. "There's another you and me, back in your world?"

"Apparently."

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"And do they know about us?"

"I have no idea," said Felix. "But I won't have to worry about my parents never seeing me again."

"And what about you?"

Felix smiled. "I've got you. And Ironclaw. And ..."

"Hang on," said Betony. "Was this the thing you wanted above all else? Did you wish for a way of staying with me forever?"

Felix felt his face go red.

"Idiot," said Betony, punching him on the arm. "But I'm glad you're here."

"What are you going to do for a job, Felix?" asked Rhino. "Are you going to come to the castle with me?"

"I need to think about it," said Felix. "I was getting interested in magic as ... well, physics with a half-twist. I'd like to study magical theory, really."

"I think we all need to get back to Andria and have a massive squawk party," said Fuzzy. "The craggy little details can wait."

The best party ever was held in the palace at Andria a couple of moons later, courtesy of the king and queen. It marked the close of the first interbeing equality conference, the opening of Snakeweed's cave painting center, the summer dance festival, Turpsik's poetry extravaganza, and the end of brittlehorn meditation week.

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At first, everyone had viewed Snakeweed's presence at the conference with extreme suspicion -- especially when he confessed his true identity and dispensed with his Snakeroot alias. A couple of small-tails had thrown rotten fertle fruits at him, a wise-hoof had tried to pass a motion barring him altogether, and a triple-head had advocated barbecuing his liver and serving it with pukeberry sauce. Then a brittlehorn had suggested that actions spoke louder than words. After all, Snakeweed had organized new perching rocks and refurbished the caves at Yergud, thereby starting up a whole new tourist industry, which seemed like very good news for the whole region. The admission fees weren't too exorbitant, either. He was good at organization; it was what he did best. A party of important people had traveled to the caves yesterday, for a private viewing, and were due to arrive back in Andria in time for the party.

Betony's friend Agrimony had borrowed the family fire-breather, Sulfur, who was now big enough to carry six people. The fortunate six were Agrimony, Betony's brother, Ramson, her sister, Tansy, and Tansy's boyfriend, Vetch -- plus Betony's mother and father. They were due to land at the airstrip in the late afternoon.

Betony was nervous and excited by turns. She couldn't decide what to wear; she wanted to make a good impression on her parents, who'd never seemed to have all that much time for her, and she wanted to look grown-up as well. She'd made her own way

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in the world for the last four and a half years -- and now she was apprenticed to the most celebrated historian of modern times. In the end, she opted for a milky-green dress with an undulating hem, decorated with tiny beads. She wore the emerald pendant that Felix had given her last summer, which warded off vampreys, and a pair of matching green suede dancing shoes.

"You look gorgeous, Betony," said Thornbeak, who'd come to pick her up. She herself looked exactly the same as usual -- immaculate.

They arrived at sunset. It was a beautiful evening, and most people were outside. There was a wailing ensemble on the raised grassy section outside the palace, and a squawk band at the other end of the green for the youngsters. One lickit after another was arriving with trays of delicacies, and some small-tails were dispensing drinks. The smells were delectable -- roasting nuts, sugary pastries, mulled fertle juice, spiced milk shakes. There was a separate area set aside for carcasses, because quite a few brazzles and a carrionwing were coming. Scoffit had flown over from Kaflabad.

Ironclaw was busy mingling with the other guests. "Quillfinger, I'd like you to meet ... what's your name again?"

"Stonetalon."

"Quillfinger, this is my son, Stonetalon."

Stonetalon was a very handsome young brazzle who was deeply involved in optimization and scheduling -- working out the shortest flight routes, while also taking in lots of

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different destinations. He was very ambitious and had produced the latest timetables for
Easy-Flap.

"Solved a tricky little problem the other day," Ironclaw said, fluffing out his chest feathers. "Fermat's Last Theorem."

"Oh, that," said Stonetalon. "Yes. There are two different ways of doing it, did you realize?"

"No," said Ironclaw, rather taken aback.

Quillfinger laughed.

"The second method involves elliptic equations ..." Stonetalon began.

Thornbeak landed beside them. "Haven't seen you for a while, son," she said.

"Busy, busy, busy," said Stonetalon. "Is my sister here?" He spotted someone on the other side of the green and angled his head to see better.

Thornbeak looked around.

Fuzzy had dyed one wing black and the other one red, and she was dancing to some squawk music with a big athletic-looking brazzle.

"Topaztoe," said Thornbeak in a strangled voice. "I'll peck his eyes out," and she launched herself into the air.

Scoffit had brought Goodbody with her. Goodbody was now employed by K'Faddle & Offspring, who had had another triumph of marketing with their crystal balls. Goodbody had pointed out that although K'Faddle crystal balls were pretty useless at predicting the future, they weren't bad at showing what was happening somewhere else.

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As a means of long-distance communication, they
were
the future. He was elaborating on the advantages of this to Pepperwort, who had taken early retirement and was now keeping purebred waggle-ears. He was looking forward to the first shearing. Once he'd spun and dyed the wool, he could start thinking about knitting patterns.

Felix was feeling on top of the world. Although he did miss his parents, he'd enrolled in a brittlehorn magical theory course in Andria, and he was loving it. He was living at Bedstraw's boardinghouse, on the same floor as Betony, and Ironclaw was paying him an allowance until he graduated. He spent a lot of time in the library -- which had nearly finished its reorganization now that they had the cataloguing pen again -- and he often met up with Betony for lunch.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her.

"Nervous."

"It's strange. For so long, I've been the one with the parents -- and you've been the one without. And now it's the other way around."

"They're here," said Betony.

A group of tangle-folk were walking across the grass. Felix recognized Betony's parents immediately -- he'd seen them as statues. Agrimony was wearing something skimpy and expensive, and Tansy didn't look quite as plain as she used to. Vetch and Ramson strolled along behind, their lutes slung over their shoulders, trashing the squawk band.