Jock: A Secret Baby Sports Romance (23 page)

M
y dad
still lives in the house I grew up in - outside the city limits out in the country. And I normally love visiting here. The memories of this place are of me and my dad - just the two of us against the world after my mom skipped out with her tennis instructor.

And even after Joanne, who I’ve never really clicked with, coming home to this house always feels like I’m recharging a little.

Not this time.

I grit my teeth as I roar up the driveway at breakneck speed, my eyes narrowed and my mind set.

I see Joanne’s silver BMW parked in the driveway turnaround as I slam the breaks on, screeching to a stop by the front door.

There’s too many unknowns right now. Too many things happening all at once, and it feels like I might get sucked under and drown beneath it all.

I’m pregnant.

The words don’t seem real, even though there’s no denying it anymore. I’m pregnant, and the father is
the
most ineligible man I can imagine. But that one is so large I can’t even really process it right now.

I should go to him right now.

I should figure this out.

But I can’t. It’s just too much; it’s too
big
.

Instead, I’m going to knock down the door and see just what the fuck Joanne thinks she’s doing.

She answers the door after me pounding on it for a minute straight.

“Oh, hello sweetness,” she smiles a saccharine, painted smile at me, her heavy eye-shadow making her eyes glint even more than they usually do.

“Do
not
call me that,” I hiss, stepping into the house and pushing her aside. “Where do you even get the fucking
nerve
to-”

“That is just no way to talk to me young lady!” she snaps, one hand shaking a finger at me like she’s scolding a child.

Oh hell no.

“I will speak to you how I please
, Joanne
, you gold digging-”

The slap comes sharp across my face. I gasp, staggering back as my hand flies to my cheek.

“Are you fucking serious?”

Joanne only rolls her eyes at me.

“I can’t believe he raised you the way he did! Look at you, running around playing with the boys and pretending you know what’s best! You’ve got
no
respect no-”

“You’re trying to take his team?”

She stops, her eyes narrowing at me as her lips purse shut.

“So it’s true, that’s your plan.”

“London, London, London,” she sighs, shaking her head. “Honey you
clearly
don’t understand.”

“Joanne, you hate sports. What the
fuck
do you want a pro football team for?”

She smiles wickedly. “Oh, I don’t,
sweetness.
”

I glare at her and she rolls her eyes.

“Oh, c’mon, you’re just like your father with this nonsense! Holding a torch for this joke of a football team.”

“It’s not a joke,” I hiss.

“Oh it is.” She rolls her eyes. “I
don’t
want the team, London, but the point is, if they keep losing,
no one
will want them, especially now that you’ve locked that disgusting Holden Cade into this bank-breaking contract. Not only is it a losing team now, it’s a losing team with a crippling payroll.”

I blink, slowly shaking my head as I stare at her.

“What the hell is going on?”

“I’m going to sell the damn team, honey, is what’s going on,” Joanne snaps.

What.

“It’s still actually worth money for now, so it’s the right time.”

I can feel my temper rising like fire inside of me as I shake my head at her.

“My father-”

“Your daddy never
would
because of his nostalgia for it. Believe me, he’ll thank me.”

I bark out a laugh,

“Will he thank you for
screwing
him over?”

Joanne shrugs, tsk-ing at me.

“Archie will get his cut, don’t you worry. Fifty-fifty, right down the middle. After all, there’s a prenup.”

She grins wickedly.

“You’re disgusting.”

“Yeah well, deal with it, honey.”

“I think a prenup goes out the window after I tell my dad and his lawyers about this,” I spit out.

I start to turn, ready to storm away from all of this when Joanne’s voice stops me.

“Oh, I don’t think that’d work out well for you,
sweetness
.”

I turn back

“Excuse me?” I hiss.

Joanne smiles.

“Misappropriation of funds to finance your own little
fling
?”

What.

My blood chills in my veins.

“Have you ever even
read
the fine print in your employment contracts?” Joanne grins evilly at me. “Specifically the morality and conduct clauses?”

Oh, God.

Joanne goes to a side table by the door and picks up a manila envelope.

“Do you know what business my first husband was in, honey?”

I shake my head, feeling numb.

“Insurance.” She smiles thinly, her heavy eye-shadowed eyes glinting at me as she hands me the folder.

The black and white pictures almost fall from my hands as I take them out.

Oh my God…

They’re of me.

Me and
Holden
.

Hand in hand. Kissing outside the restaurant the other night. Entering his apartment together, his hand on my ass.

“I’m leaving your father, London, I think you’d be happy about that,” Joanne says with smug smile. “We can do it the easy way, where he and I part, I take some of his money, and I end up
making him
a lot more when I sell this deadweight of a team. Or we can do it the hard way.”

I’m shaking, feeling my stomach drop as my head reels.

“The hard way?”

“The hard way,” she says crisply, “is I
still
leave your father, I
still
take half of what’s mine, but I make sure
you
never work again. That famous LJ Jacobs persona of yours? Done, after word gets out about you
screwing
players like the trampy little slut I always knew you were.”

“I- I-” I’m grappling at nothing, feeling like I’m in free fall.

“If you make this difficult,
I
make it difficult. The first way is just easier, London,” she says, shrugging. “You played a game, I played it better, and you lost.”

* * *

I
don’t remember driving
home. It’s a daze of highways and then city, before suddenly I’m in my building’s parking garage and moving like a zombie for the elevator.

Everything is shattering.

Everything is coming down around me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I step off the elevator in a blur, staggering for my apartment. All I want is bed. All I want is to drown myself in the blankets and never come back up for air until-

“Hey.”

I look up sharply, and my heart almost breaks.

Holden.

Holden who I forget was coming over.

Holden who’s baby I’m carrying.

Holden who my being around might shatter anything I have left and rip my life apart even more.

Holden who I can’t have anything to do with.

No, not right now.

“I- I can’t.” It’s all I manage to croak out as I push past him, grabbing for my keys.

“Hey, hang on.”

There’s a hand on my shoulder - warm, comforting.

No

I can’t.

I shake him off.

“Please,” I whisper hoarsely as I turn, my face stricken as I shake my head. “Not now.”

His dark eyes narrow with concern.

“London, talk to me.”

“I
can’t
.”

“Look, will you just-”

“This was a mistake, okay!” I shout out, words slicing through the space between us.

My eyes lock on his.

“You and me, I mean.” I say quieter. “This was a mistake. This never should have happened.”

“I disagree,” he growls, his eyes flaring.

“Well, that’s on you then,” I spit out.

I’m pushing him away, because I have to. Because holding onto him might just break whatever I have left.

“I just can’t do this right now.”

“This?” He glares at me. “And what exactly does that mean?”

“You and me!” I yell in the hallway. “I cannot
do this
, Holden! It was casual, it was just us having fun, or whatever. And now it’s done, okay?”

His jaw tightens as he glares at me.

He steps close, and I gasp as he presses me against the door.

“Tell me one more time,” he growls. His hands cup my face as he looks deep into my eyes. “I know this ain’t you, sugar,” he husks darkly in the deep velvet voice. “Tell me one more time, and I’m gone. Because other than that, there’s no way I’m walking away from you right-”

“I’m pregnant.”

The silence of the hallway is deafening as my hand flies to my mouth, as if to stop the words from coming out.

But it’s too late, and there’s no stopping them now.

Holden’s jaw tightens as his eyes go wide.

“What?”

“I’m pregnant.” I whisper it this time, feeling like I’m outside my own body watching this conversation happen across a movie screen. “I was late, I took a test - four actually - and I’m pregnant,” I say with a leaden voice. I close my eyes, sucking in a breath of air and feeling the shakiness as I do. “I’m pregnant, and it’s yours-”

“London,” he says hoarsely his eyes wide as the color drains from his face. “You’re-”

I can’t do this.

I shake my head back and forth, my eyes locked on his and willing myself not to let the tears fall.

“I’m pregnant, it’s yours, and I’m sorry but I can’t do this right now.” I barely choke the last words out before I turn and unlock my apartment door.

“Wait,” his hand is on my arm, “hang on, let’s talk-”

“
No
,” I whisper hoarsely, turning back to him with my hand on the doorknob.

And there’s so much else I want to say - so much else I want to tell him, and explain to him. I want to tell him I’m terrified. I want to tell him to save me. I want to tell him words I’ve never spoken to someone else.

But I can’t, because that’s not what this is.

That’s not what this ever was, and I know if I open my mouth right then, I’ll lose it.

“I
can’t
,” I manage to spill out. “Please leave.”

His face falls, pain etched across it.

“London-”

“Just leave, Holden,” I manage to whisper out, before I step through my door and slam it shut behind me.

And I barely manage to get inside before I slump against the door and let the tears come.

“
Y
ou know
, I could sell cheeseburgers in here on the down-low and make a goddamn mint.”

I snort a laugh as I help my dad button his shirt in the hospital room mirror.

Laughing feels good, and I need to feel something good right now. Which is why I’m down at the hospital helping my dad.

Richard’s already filled Dad in on what’s going on with the team, and of course he’s already heard from his lawyers concerning Joanne. And yet, here he is, putting on a bold face, standing tall, and cracking jokes, like none of it’s fazing him.

“Dad, they’re not going to let you eat crap like that, you know that.”

“
Exactly.
Me and all the other poor souls stuck in this joint.” He looks up and grins at me in the mirror.

“I’m telling you, there’s a fortune to be made.”

I smile as I shake my head.

“You’re making it sound like prison.”

“No booze, no cigars, no excitement, and no food that tastes even halfway decent?” He ticks them off on his fingers. “That’s basically jail, honey.”

I roll my eyes.

“They’re trying to make you
healthy
, you get that, right?”

“They’ve been making me eat
kale
, London. Kale!”

Dad’s shoulders slump.

“Leafy greens are good food for you, Dad.”

“Leafy greens is what food
eats,
honey.”

I laugh and his face breaks into a grin.

“There’s that smile.”

“Stop,” I mutter, staring at the floor. “I’m supposed be cheering
you
up, not the other way around.”

He makes a huffing sound, frowning for a second before he shakes it from his face.

“Never you mind about all that. It’s gonna work out okay.”

“Dad,” my face falls as I shake my head. “You left me in charge and it all goes to hell.”

He snorts a laugh.

“That’s got nothing to do with
you
, honey. That’s my piss-poor taste in women, apparently.”

“Yeah but you could lose-”

“Not a chance,” Dad says easily, shaking his head firmly. “Not gonna happen.”

I make a face.

“It could.”

“It ain’t the first time someone’s tried to take the team from me, hotshot,” he says with a grin. “I’ll be okay.” He looks up at me. “You know, I do like you smiling, honey.”

He turns back to the mirror, fixing his cuffs and pulling his suspenders up over his shoulders. Even in the hospital, Dad insists on his usual old-school southern style.

“You wanna tell me what’s eating you?”

Not at all.

Right. Like I can even
imagine
how that conversation plays out.

Well, Dad, I know you just recovered from a heart attack, and that your wife is leaving you and trying to steal your team from you. But just to ADD to that - surprise! - I’m pregnant with an arrogant, drunk, man-whoring football player’s baby.

Right.

“Just work, Dad. Stressing about the whole thing with the board.”

He waves me off.

“Don’t. Trust me, honey, it’s gonna work out okay.”

“Yeah, but-”

“Anyone ever mention that you work too hard?”

I sigh, a small smile coming to my lips.

“It’s come up.”

“Well,” he shrugs. “A girl your age ought to-”

“Dad, stop.” I shake my head.

I
cannot
have this conversation right now - not with what’s going on.

“Can we go ahead and
not
have that conversation where you tell me I need to go out and settle down and have kids and all that?”

Because I don’t think I can deal with that conversation right now without breaking down.

He shakes his head.

“
Not
what I was after, honey. I was going to say a young woman your age should be off doing what
she
wants to do, not just propping up her old man’s dream.”

I roll my eyes at him as he turns.

“
Not
just your dream, you know.”

He smiles.

“Look, I didn’t get a chance to really talk to you about the whole succession thing, what with me being in here and you out there taking care of the business. I just think of you as my extension, and when it looked grim there for a tick, I just wanted to-”

“I know.”

He looks at me.

“Honey, this team is my life.
My
life, not yours. And what I’m trying to say is I never want to just shove it at you and say ‘hey, you gotta deal with this crap now!’ unless it’s something
you
actually want.” He shrugs. “Awe hell, we don’t have to talk about it at all, but at some point, you
may
want to start settling down and having a family of your own instead of being married to this team. So, what I’m
trying
to say is, if you want to drop the whole thing and go do your own thing-”

“Dad,” I cut him off again. “Not another word about that or I’ll make sure you go on an all-kale diet in here starting
today.
”

He grins. “There’s that famous LJ negotiating.”

“Learned from the best.”

He winks at me as he turns back to the mirror.

“Good thing I’m busting out of this joint today. Now how do I look?”

“Sharp as ever.”

“That’s my girl.”

* * *

W
e drop
it there in the hospital room, and we don’t speak about it at all while I drive him back to his house and get him settled in.

But my mind’s already made up, and my decision’s made even before I call Landon Reece back.