Jock: A Secret Baby Sports Romance (25 page)

And
that’s
when the fucking door opens behind me, and the whole things blows up in my face.

“
Baaaaby
, are you coming back in?”

That’s
what greets London as the door opens behind me.

The girl is basically naked except for my fucking jersey - the one with my goddamn number and name emblazoned across it. I turn almost in slow motion, swallowing the lump in my throat as I look past the girl at the utter shit-show going on behind her in my condo.

Blaring music, booze everywhere, and naked people everywhere. Hell, someone’s
fucking
on top of my kitchen counter.

Oh shit.

My gut clenches as I whirl back to London.

But it’s too late.

“This isn’t what you, I mean, it’s not-”

“
Don’t
,” she says icily. “Just don’t.”

“This isn’t what you think it is,” I mumble, my words slurring. “This-”

“It doesn’t
matter
,” London says shortly, her voice quavering as she shakes her head side to side.

“London, just listen-”

“Whatever you’re going to say it doesn’t matter,” she says, her voice like lead. And there’s so much hurt in her eyes that I forget about mine. “You know,” she barks out a laugh. “I came over to talk to you about this like
adults.
”

“So let’s-”

“But you’re not able to do that,” she cuts me off.

I shake my head slowly, blinking through the booze as I try and take another step towards her.

“I am.”

She laughs thinly again.

“I don’t know what I was even thinking pretending you were capable of being a part of this.” She shuts her eyes, pushing her hair back from her face before opening them again and narrowing them right at me. “Look, stay here in Houston. Don’t go back to Denver.”

My brow furrows as I shake my head.

“What?”

“I’m taking Landon Reece up on his offer with the Rattlesnakes.”

My jaw drops, but she’s not even done yet.

“Look, don’t
worry,
you’re off the hook,” she spits out. “I don’t want your fucking money or anything either.”

“Hang on, can we just talk-”

She shakes her head once more, looking away before her eyes snap back to mine for the killing blow.

“I don’t want you to have anything to do with this, actually.”

It’s like a knife twisting in my heart, spilling my blood and my guts out across the floor as I stand there blinking, grasping for the right words.

But there are none, and she’s already walking away.

My last shot at being something real - at being a man of
substance
- steps into the elevator as the doors close her away.

After that, it’s like a free-fall.

After that, I’m only dimly aware of stumbling back into my place, pushing my way through people until I grab a bottle of something off the kitchen countertop.

I stumble to my room, saying no to the girl that tries to follow me. I swear when I open the door, seeing the fivesome going down on my goddamn bed before I lurch to my bathroom and slam the door shut.

I’m alone.

Just like I was always going to be.

I slump against the door and bring the bottle up, a silent eulogy to the last chance I was gonna have at being more than all this.

London.

Her name and those lips and the thought of her and I are the last thoughts I have before it all fades to black.

“
T
his isn’t funny
.”

“Well, it’s not a joke.”

Serena stares at me from the door to my bedroom, blinking, unmoving. She shakes her head as I go back to furiously shoving clean underwear and socks into my suitcase.

“London.”

I keep moving, not looking up. I reach for another stack of folded shirts, placing them in the suitcase and smoothing them before reaching for a packed bag of toiletries to layer on top.

“
London
, stop.”

This time I do, as she moves across the room and puts her hands on mine, staying me. I look up, and I have to physically stop myself from breaking as she looks at me with her eyes full of concern.

“You’re really-?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“Holy
shit
.”

And then she’s hugging me, and I do break.

The tears come hot across my cheeks and the shoulder of her shirt as I hold her tightly and shake slightly in her arms.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” she soothes, stroking my back. “Holden’s?”

I pull back and shoot her a teary-eyed look.

She gives me a wry smile. “I had to ask. He knows?”

I nod, dropping my gaze back to my open suitcase.

“And?”

I glance up, sighing.

“Serena, he’s-” I trail off, looking down again at my hands. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I know it’s not going to have anything to do with him.”

Her arm goes around me, hugging me and rubbing my shoulder as we sit there on the edge of the bed, saying nothing.

“Are you really moving to
Denver
?” she finally says quietly.

I start to shake my head but then I suddenly glance up at her.

She’s just walked into my apartment not three minutes before - just long enough to see the suitcase and for me to blurt out that I was pregnant.

I haven’t mention where I was going.

“How-?”

My brow furrows at my friend as her face goes dark red.

“I- I heard through the grapevine.”

I frown.

“No you didn’t.”

Serena swallows and looks down at her own hands, shrugging.

“Landon told me.”

I raise a single brow at her.

“
Oh?
And when were you talking to Landon Reece?”

She shakes her head, still looking down in a terrible attempt to hide the redness in her cheeks.

“It’s nothing, just this…” she trails off and sighs before looking back up at me. “It’s complicated.”

“I’m listening?”

She grins shyly, and “shyly” is not a look I think the world has ever seen on Serena Roth.

“It’s nothing.”

My eyes suddenly dip to the silver chain around her neck, which I’ve never seen before.

“Is that from him?”

Her eyes dart to mine, flashing again before she seems to swallow the heat from her face as she tugs her collar up.

“It’s nothing.”

“Serena-”

“
Whatever
it may be, it’s not nearly as important as this, okay?” She turns, grabbing my hands in hers. “How real is this thing in Denver? The offer, I mean.”

The meet and greet Landon Reece is flying me out for is just that - an informal meet-up. But I know it’s meant to lead to more than that. Hell, I’ve been working this business long enough to know when a team or organization is hungry for talent and just trying to play things casual.

…I’m just not used to being the talent they’re after.

“I need a clean break from all this,” I whisper, shaking my head. “It’s too much here, right now.”

“You’re running away.”

My eyes flash to hers.

She doesn’t flinch.

“Don’t give me that London sass,” she says with a stern look. “Look, this is
big
, but you don’t have to run away to Denver to deal with it, okay?
I’m
here! Your dad is here!” She gives me a sad look. “London, this team is
everything
to you!”

And it was, until this came alone. It was until the biggest thing in my life become the biggest secret of my life. The biggest secret of my life, made with the last man on earth I should have ever been making secrets with.

I close my eyes at the voice in my head, trying to shut it and the thoughts of Holden out of my thoughts. Holden, who made me feel
alive
- truly alive - for the first time in forever. Holden who got under my skin and drove me crazy - so crazy that he somehow turned into everything I wanted and everything I needed.

The cocky, arrogant jock. The player. The prospect; the
acquisition
deal.

The man I never wanted anything to do with who ended up being my everything.

The man I’m going to have a child with.

The tears flow again as I crash back into Serena’s shoulder.

The man I’m walking, running, and flying away from. Because somehow, the only solution I can find here is distance. The only way out I can see is forward and away.

Because if I stay here, near him, I might break.

I sniff as I pull away from my friend.

My face falls.

“I ruined your shirt.”

She gives a brittle laugh, holding back brimming tears of her own as she shakes her head.

“You can pay for my dry cleaning when you come back.”

“Serena-”

She suddenly stands and starts yanking things out of my suitcase and tossing them across the bed.

“Hey!”

She whirls, one of my t-shirts in her hand as she shakes her head.

“I’m not emptying the whole thing,” she says sharply. “But I’m taking enough out that you can’t just
stay
once you get there.” Her mouth goes small as she looks down. “Just in case you thought you could.”

I choke out a laugh as I throw my arms around her.

And I
know
this is running away. I know going to Denver and maybe even staying there with whatever the offer ends up being is cutting and running, but it’s what has to happen.

I’m just going to see what’s waiting for me - for me and the new life growing inside of me. And maybe - just maybe - it’ll be just what I need.

What
we
need.

I
wake
up to the sound of hammering.

I wince, jolting awake and instantly regretting it as the pain lances through my head like hot lead. I groan loudly and flip over in the bed, only to roar in pain as my face goes crashing against porcelain.

Motherfucker.

Yeah, I’m not in a bed, I’m in the bathtub.

I
slept
in the fucking bathtub.

The hammering comes again on the bathroom door, and I sit up this time, feeling light-headed and weak as I slowly start to climb out of the tub.

There’s more banging on the door, and it’s like the knocks are happening on my fucking skull as the hangover pounds through my head.

I grit my teeth and glare at the bathroom door.

“Fuck off and die!” I roar, resting my elbows on my sink counter and turning the water on. I cup my hand beneath it, slurping water into my parched, cracked lips when the door just about breaks off its hinges.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” I swear under my breath as I whirl and yank the door wide. “You looking for a foot up your-”

I stop instantly, the rage evaporating from me as I squint at
Max
, standing there in my bedroom glaring at me.

“Jesus,” he mutters, narrowing his eyes at me and shaking his head.

I groan as I step back into the bathroom, beckoning him in like I’m welcoming someone at my front door. I slump onto the closed toilet and look up at him.

“The fuck are you doing here?” I mumble.

Max sighs.

“
Breakfast?
Me, Hannah, and the girls, at that pancake place they’ve been freaking out about that serves pink pancakes?”

I wince again, dropping my face into my hands.

“
Fuck
,” I swear. “I forgot.”

“Evidently,” he growls. He turns and glances back out the bathroom door at my bedroom and whistles lowly. “Jesus, man, I think you’ve outdone yourself this time.”

I follow his gaze and groan at the sight of a heap of nude bodies still strewn across my room from whatever shenanigans went down last night after I locked myself in here.

“It’s a long story,” I mutter, making a mental note to burn every single thing in my apartment. Or move.

“No it’s not.”

I look up to see Max glowering down at me, his huge arms crossed over his barrel chest.

“What?”

He shakes his head at me, still glaring that scary look of his he gets.

“I said
no
, it’s not. A long story, that is.”

I say nothing and he shakes his head.

“I heard, man; about London and the Rattlesnakes. Ethan called me this morning from Denver and filled me in. Apparently he was out for drinks with Reece last night and the guy mentioned something about head-hunting her.”

“
Fuck
Landon Reece,” I mutter.

Max rolls his eyes.

“That what all this is about?” He waves his arm back at my bedroom. “You’re gonna want to burn everything in here you know. There’s naked ass all over your fucking apartment.”

I take a breath and blow the air out slowly through my lips.

“Yeah, it’s about that. That and…” I trail off and look away.

“What.”

“Nothing, forget it.”

“What, Archie finally catch you screwing around with his daughter?”

I shoot him a look as he smirks.

“Not exactly.”

“She get tired of slumming it with you and dump your ass?”

I glare at him.

“It’s not
like that
, we’re not fucking together or anything.”

Max rolls his eyes again.

“Then
what
, man? She told you she wants to get married and have kids and you freaked out?”

This time I say nothing, and his brow perks up.

“Elaborate.”

I shake my head and look away again.

“
Marriage
?” He frowns as he crosses his arms over his chest again. “She doesn’t seem like the tie-you-down type-” And then suddenly, the light goes on behind his eyes. Suddenly, it’s like the last little piece falls into place for him.

“She’s-” He blinks at me. “You’re going to be a-”

I nod, and his face goes
livid
.

Max turns and storms into my bedroom.

“Everyone get the
fuck
out!” he roars, sending the nude players and girls jumping from the bed. Even to other football guys, Max is a fucking
beast
, and if you catch him mad it’s like going toe-to-toe with a grizzly bear.

I’d imagine Max’s roaring, furious, bearded face being the first thing you wake up to would put the fear of whatever higher power you believe in right into you.

“Out, motherfuckers!” he bellows, half shoving the shrieking girls and terrified looking Bulls players out of my room. He follows them, roaring like a goddamn bear through my apartment as he clears the place with swears and crashes and shrieking voices.

There’s finally silence, and I’m just letting my shoulders droop and dropping my face back into my hands when the bear himself comes storming into the bathroom.

I swear as Max grabs me by the wrists, yanking me bodily off the toilet, onto the floor and out the fucking door.

“What the
fuck
is wrong with you, man!”

But Max isn’t hearing it. He drags me forcefully through my living room, slamming open the sliding glass door to my patio and dragging me out there onto the deck.

“Dude, will you-”

Suddenly, he hauls me up by one armpit and the waist of my jockeys and shoves me
right over the fucking edge
of the balcony.

My tenth-story balcony.

“Are you fucking
insane!
” I roar, fighting back and kicking at him as he holds me there, half on the railing and half hanging over the edge and dangling into thin air. “Max! You fucking psychopath, what-”

“YOU WANT TO DIE?!” he roars in my ear, silencing me. “Is
that it
, man? You wanna go out with a bang and fucking drink yourself to death or some shit, huh?!”

I close my eyes, silently shaking my head as I hang over the side of that balcony.

“Well I got news for you, pal,” Max bellows at me. “You’re not
allowed
to! You’re not
allowed
to take that road, because now it’s about more than just you!”

He suddenly hauls me back onto the deck and drops me at his feet.

I let my breath out in a whoosh as I roll into my back and close my eyes, trying not to think about the view I just saw ten stories down.

Max drops down next to me, panting about as hard as I am as I sit up and lean back against the metal railing behind me.

Neither of us says a word for a solid three minutes.

“You think things would be any different for you if you’d gotten into that fucking truck with him that night?” he finally says.

I shake my head.

“I got news for you, they
would
be, cause
you’d
be fucking dead, too.”

I close my eyes, the memory of that night slamming into me.

“I should have stopped him,” I say through clenched teeth.

“You’re beating yourself up about something that just
happened,
man
.
Shit happens,
terrible
shit happens.” Max turns to me and sticks a finger into my chest. “
That’s
life. But you need to stop mourning his and go on living yours.
That’s
what Brandon would have wanted.”

Max sighs, and we sit in silence another minute, listening to the sound of the Houston traffic down below.

“She really pregnant?”

I nod.

“It’s yours?”

I shoot him a dangerous look and he shrugs.

“Well, then this ain’t just about you anymore, pal,” he growls. “This is about that
kid
.”

“Yeah, well, she’s gone, man,” I say darkly. “She’s gone and she doesn’t want me to have anything to do with it.”

“That ain’t the Holden Cade I know.”

I choke out a laugh.

“Yeah, well, surprise.”

“Fuck that,” Max spits. “The Holden I know broke records his first week in the pros. The Holden I know never fucking quit and never said ‘no’ or ‘it’s too hard’ or ‘good enough’.” He turns to me. “The guy I know - the guy who’s
my friend
even though he’s a fucking idiot sometimes - would never walk away from this. He wouldn’t even consider it an option.”

“You hang all your friends off of ten story fucking balconies?”

Max grins.

“Only my best ones.”

“You’re a sociopath.”

He laughs, chuckling deeply before he turns back to me again.

“The Holden I know would never in a million years let this girl get away from him and let that kid out of his life.”

And he’s right.

The guy I used to be - the guy I still
am
somewhere inside - would never be sitting here sulking like a fucking pussy. The guy I used to be
went after
what he wanted and didn’t know
how
to quit until he got it.

Something happened to me that night all those months ago. Yeah, I wasn’t
in
the pickup when it went off the road at eighty miles an hour, but a part of me still died that night.

And I’ve been trying to bury it in darkness ever since.

I’ve been running away from the part of me that’s still here, and I’ve gotten so damn good at it, that I almost didn’t recognize me when
she
walked into my life and showed me how to find
me
again.

London.

The one-night-stand. The terrible idea. The last girl I should’ve had anything to do with and the last girl I’d have ever seen coming. All that, and it turns out she might just be the only one that can save me.

And suddenly, it’s like I’m waking up.

Suddenly, it’s like I’m coming up for air after holding my breath underwater for the last ten fucking months.

Suddenly, I can
breathe
.

And suddenly, I realize the best thing to ever happen to me is slipping through my dumb-ass fingers, and I’ll be
damned
if I’m going to let that happen.

I lurch to my feet, blood pounding through my veins as I fill my lungs and ball my hands into fists.

No
way
am I letting her and that kid walk out of my life - not a fucking
chance.
Because somehow, through all the shit, I think I may have just found the old Holden Cade.

And there’s only one thing I want right now.

I whirl on Max.

“I need you to drive.”

He scowls. “What?”

“What, you think you could give me a fucking
gem
of a Max Sheffield pep-talk like that and
not
help me out?”

He gets to his feet, cocking a brow at me.

“The thought had crossed my mind.”

I grin.

“Also, I might still be a little drunk, so I
definitely
need you to drive.”

“Holden, I’ve got Hannah and the girls waiting downstairs.”

“So?” I grin.

I feel good. I feel invincible.

I feel fucking
alive
for the first time in a long time.

“Fuck it, bring them too! How fast does that rental car of yours go?”

Max crosses his arms over his chest.

“It goes five miles an hour
under
the speed limit, Holden, because it’s got my goddamn family in it.”

A shadow of a smile peeks through Max’s thick beard.

“And where are we going, exactly?”

“Does that mean you’re in?”

His grin widens.

“It means you better shower, because you smell like shit.”

I flip him off.

“We’re making two stops.”

“Hey, you know it also means you’re sitting in the back with the girls, and you’re on bag duty.”

I frown.

“Bag duty?”

Max’s grin is huge across his face now.

“Puke bag. Cas and Ginger get
real
car sick these days.”

I give him a look.

“
Both
of them?”

Max laughs as he claps me on the shoulder. “Welcome to fatherhood, bud.”