Jockblocked: A Novel (Gridiron Book 2) (21 page)

For some reason, this sets off my bullshit meter. I push away from him so I can see his face.

“Coach told you?” I ask with some skepticism. “And you just do it?”

Matty raises his eyebrows. “I’m guessing your mock trial is set up a little differently but in football, your coach is your daddy, the Holy Trinity and the President of the United States all wrapped up into one foul-mouthed body. If he asks you to murder someone, you respond with ‘Should I use a knife or a gun?’”

“That sounds healthy,” I say sarcastically.

“It’s just the way it is,” he admits. “But he has us for four years, or in my case five since I redshirted, but for the time that we’re here, he owns us. We’re his chess pieces on the big green board.” Matty leans back against the cushion and stares at the ceiling. “I think that’s why college coaches suck as pro coaches. Here we do everything he says, but once you’re out and making money, he doesn’t have as much control.”

Matty tips his head and points his startlingly blue eyes directly at me. “I’m not going to lie to you. I sat in the back of that room when you delivered that closing thinking how you were the perfect person to deliver the message to Ace because you’re so amazing. If you came to me, with a passionate and reasoned argument like you delivered, I’d do just about anything. So yes, in all honesty, I did use you but not in the way you’re accusing me.”

I suck my lips into my mouth and mash them between my teeth. “I’m so confused. I don’t know what to think or do right now.”

“You don’t have to make any decisions, but I’d like a chance to prove myself to you.” His gaze doesn’t waver, and I can’t see anything but sincerity in his eyes.

“How?”

“I won’t bring up Ace again.” He shakes his head slowly. “I’ll be honest. I feel like I’m outkicking my coverage. Not only would I want you to be my lawyer, but I’m not sure I’m worthy of being your boyfriend.”

“Is that what you are?” I ask. My heart is telling me to believe. I’ve lived my whole life being careful. Do I want to be careful again? I think back to the agony I felt when I thought he’d betrayed me.
Thought
? As in past tense? Had I forgiven him? Was there anything to forgive? “My boyfriend?”

“Damn straight I am.” He squeezes me. “I’m buying a letterman’s jacket and you’re wearing it.”

I laugh against my will. Matty’s too good at finding the cracks in my armor—as if I even have armor against him. “They don’t have letterman jackets at Western.”

“It’s the internet age. I’m sure I can find some seller somewhere to whip me up one. We’ll have matching jackets. Mine can say ‘property of Lucy Watson’ and yours can say ‘property of Matty Iverson.’” He leans back again and looks off into the distance as if envisioning us in some weird
Grease
production wearing his version of promise rings. “I like that. You think you’d be open to getting a tattoo of my name on your ass?”

“No. No. And also no,” I reply firmly.

“Yeah, I thought that was a bridge too far. But I’m getting you that jacket and you’re wearing it and you’re going to like it.”

“I am, am I?”

“Yeah.” He looks down at me pensively, his grin fading away. “I’m really sorry for hurting you. This thing between you and…” He won’t say Ace’s name, and somehow his jealousy, no matter how wrong it is, soothes my battered pride. “It’s a tangle, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have genuine feelings for you or that we can’t be together.”

“When I saw my name and all of that stuff, I felt violated. I don’t want to feel that way again.”

“It was shitty. No excuses.”

“Don’t hurt me. Don’t make a fool of me.”

“I won’t. I’m not playing here. You’re not a game to me.”

I draw a shaky breath. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that until those words came out of his mouth.

He draws my stiff body against his and holds me there for a long time until I relax. He doesn’t make any move to take off my clothes or kiss me or try to use my attraction for him against me, and that goes further in soothing my hurt than even his words do.

“The Outland Trophy? Why not the National Championship?”

“Because the Outland Trophy’s an individual award. I can’t swear on a team achievement, Luce.”

Well, duh. I chuckle. He laughs, and it seems like we’ve weathered the storm.

M
atty convinces
me to skip classes, which I rarely do, but I only have two today, and I’m über responsible every other day of the year. I’m wrecked emotionally from this morning and wouldn’t be able to pay attention anyway.

There are a few guys on defense I haven’t met before, and Matty introduces me around. Hammer tries out some web lists he’s working on after I tell him that “spa day” as a euphemism for sex doesn’t work.

“I’m working on an article about the top ten foods that look like dildos,” he says as he works the controller to launch a shot on goal. I block him easily. I played a lot of this with Ace when we were in middle school and junior high. I haven’t forgotten my skills.

“Ew, no. I’m not sticking a cucumber up my lady passage.” I dribble past him, break a few of his players’ ankles, and score.

“Sausage casing?”

“Gross.”

“Shit. How are you so good at this?” He looks over at Matty. “This isn’t fair. You bring a ringer into our house to stomp me?”

Matty shrugs and shoves a carrot into his mouth. His refrigerator is surprisingly full of things I can eat without much worry. Lots of non-sugary vegetables. Some vegan dip. It’s really impressive. I don’t have a lot of extra money to keep my fridge stocked with fresh goodies like this. Matty even shoved me out of the kitchen and told me to go play with Hammer while he prepared everything.

I’m enjoying being pampered. Maybe this
is
a spa day
.

“Let’s switch gears,” Hammer suggest. “How about ‘perfumed palace’”?

“Better.” I pop a cucumber slice into my mouth.

“Scented cavern?”

“Cavern borders on rude.” I flick my thumb over the toggle and steal the ball.

“What do you think of ‘secret garden’”?

“Way to ruin my favorite childhood book.” The ball goes sailing into the corner. Hammer and I race to get it.

“Och, lassie, you needn’t worry naught for nothing,” Matty intones.

I set down my controller. “What was that?”

“Yorkshire accent,” he says with mock offense.

“Sounded like a southern accent with a touch of Canadian. In others words, not Yorkshire.”

“So no dirty talk with an accent?”

“No.”

“Ohh, you guys do the dirty talk?” Hammer crows. “That’d be a great article. Say a few lines for me,” he orders.

“No!” I give Matty a stern look that says if he opens his mouth right now, I’m shoving the entire vegetable tray in it.

He snaps his mouth shut. “Sorry, Hammer. No can do.”

“Man, bros before hoes,” Hammer mutters.

Later we watch a movie. During a particularly hot love scene, Matty gets up abruptly and hauls me into the bedroom. I might have been rubbing his dick under the blanket.

“You are going to pay for all that teasing.” He bends me over the bed and kicks my feet apart. Like I imagine it would be like if I got arrested. Suddenly, the image of hot Matty in a police uniform appearing at my apartment door pops into my head. I get a little excited. Okay, a lot excited.

Matty notices. “What’s got you all turned on?”

He rubs a hand over my ass.

“Don’t worry,” I tease. “I’m fantasizing about you.”

“Yeah? Well, tell me about it so I can make it good for you.”

And I realize one of the reasons I’m so willing to forgive him is because he does take all of the risk. There’s no shame in telling him what I want, because he wants it, too.

He is
really
in tome. Into
us.

“I was thinking how this position makes me imagine Hot Cop Matty. Didn’t you say you wanted to be in the FBI?” He told me that after we went sledding, when we were talking about after the NFL and what else he’d do besides his Instagrammable tea parties.

He chuckles low and I feel it in my tummy. “What am I investigating?”

“Um, theft of state secrets.” I pluck something random out of the air.

“Alright, Miss Watson, I’m going to have to search you now. Don’t move.”

I wiggle my butt. “Shouldn’t a lady agent be doing this?”

He smacks me lightly. “You want to go to prison? Or do you want to make this problem go away?”

“Go away,” I say with a forced tremble in my voice.

He slides down to his knees. “Then you’re going to do exactly what I say, when I say it, aren’t you?”

This time when I speak, the quaver is entirely real. “Yes.”

He pushes my legs even wider apart. “Then you have to stay real still and real quiet while I eat your pussy. Otherwise, my partner’s going to hear you.” He leans forward and rubs his tongue along my entire sex. “And if he hears you, he’s going to come into this room and then I’m going to have to share you. I don’t want that, do you?”

I gulp. “No.”

“And if you’re not quiet and you’re not still, I’m going to come in my pants. We both know you want me in your mouth, don’t you?” He licks me again and again and again. I shove my face into the comforter and pant. Yes, God, yes, I want him in my mouth again. The heavy weight of him on my tongue, the way he looks at me like I’m the only light in a dark place, the way he moans and groans and jacks helplessly as I drive him completely and utterly out of his mind.

“Yes.”

“Then take your punishment like a good little girl.”

I’ll do the best that I can, Officer. I swear it.

“
I
need to go
.” Reluctantly, I untangle myself from Matty’s embrace. The clock says the sun will be rising soon and I should get home. I’ve spent too much time with Matty this past week. This is going to be a tough day for Ace. As soon as Remington Barr announces his intentions to come to Western, Ace will be inundated with questions, and even though we haven’t talked much lately, I don’t want to rub any more salt on his wounds.

Matt’s unhappy I’m leaving. I see it in the straight line of his lips and the tenseness in his large frame. He doesn’t say anything while he throws back the covers and swings out of bed. My breath catches in the back of my throat at the lithe movement of his body. For a large man he’s very graceful.

He throws on a pair of sweatpants and then digs around in a dresser for socks.

I pause in zipping my jeans. “You don’t have to walk me home.”

He looks at me like I’m nuts. “Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“It’s fine. It’s almost dawn.” I peer through the slats of his vertical blinds.

He bends down to tie his boots. “You could stay but you won’t, right? Because you don’t want Ace to know you’re sleeping with me?”

I let the blinds fall back into place. “I stayed a few nights,” I point out, but, yes, I can’t deny part of my decision relates to Ace. “He’s hurting right now. I don’t want to twist the knife in any further.”

Matt’s jaw clenches, but he’s skating on thin ice since I found my
dossier
, so whatever jealous thoughts he has he keeps to himself. Instead, he steps toward me, halting close enough that I have to tip my head back to look at him. “Want me to talk to him?”

“No offense, but I don’t think he’d listen to you.” Although, if this situation on the team is going to get resolved, Ace and Matt and the entire team are going to have to talk
and
listen to each other.

“You’re probably right.” He pulls me against him and I breathe deep, enjoying the smell of warm, sexy Matt for a moment longer.

“I can’t stay tonight. Tomorrow—today,” I correct myself. “Today is going to be hard for him, and I need to be there. He’d be there for me.”

A flicker of unhappiness flits through his eyes at the reminder of my closeness with Ace, but then his easygoing nature breaks through and he gives me a rueful smile. “I can’t believe I’m trying to talk a woman into spending the night with me.”

It’s my turn to glance down to hide the sting of his comment. He means it as a compliment, but it’s a reminder of how many girls have shuffled in and out of this bedroom.

“Hey, you.” He tips my chin up. “No one else is spending time in here just because you aren’t around. I hope you know that.”

I push the doubt away and cling to those words.

A
ce sits
in front of the television, his bloodless hands gripped between his legs, looking as angry as I’ve ever seen him. I immediately text Sutton and Charity and tell them to take a long time at dinner.

My thoughts flit to Matty. I never thought to ask him if he was worried. He probably isn’t in any danger of being replaced, but I never asked, either—too caught up in my own drama. I tell Ace I need to use the bathroom and slip away to shoot off a quick text.

Me:
Day going okay for you?

Matty:
It’s all good. Thanks for asking. You?

I’m doing okay. Worried about
, I don’t want to bring up Ace again, so I just type,
friends.

Matty:
Got it. Call me if you want to talk or meet up. I’ll be up late.

Me:
I’ll probably be busy.

Matty:
Practice starts tomorrow. We’ll work it out.

When I get out, Ace is pacing.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do?”

“I’m the quarterback, Lucy, or did loverboy convince you otherwise?”

“Ace, I’m behind you. It doesn’t matter who I’m dating.”

He snorts out an ugly laugh. “Does it feel good to be Ives’s current slam piece?”

I grind my teeth together to keep from lashing out. “If you’re going to be an asshole, you can leave.”

Ace runs a hand through his closely cropped hair. “What is that you see in him?”

“He’s kind.” I think back to how he made me breakfast, his thoughtfulness in taking my glucose measurements.

“He’s working to turn the team against me. The entire defensive squad follows his lead. If he stood up and supported me, the team would support me. If I don’t have him, I’m as good as gone.”

I rub my lips together. I don’t like where this is going. I didn’t like it when Matt presented his side of the argument to me and I definitely don’t like Ace trying to leverage our friendship. “I have no influence over him, just like I have no influence over you.”

Ace’s jaw works furiously as he holds in whatever horrible invective he’d like to spit out at me. Finally, he fixes his attention on the television and we watch the show in silence. For two excruciating hours. I’m so stressed out I end up checking my glucose levels five times. I open my mouth to ask him to leave just as the show flips from the studio to the camera at Remington Barr’s home.

If I thought Ace was angry before, it’s nothing like the rage consuming him now. He squeezes the remote so tight, the plastic cover over the battery cracks in his hands.

I get up and move to the kitchen because the tension in the living room is suffocating. The phone rings, startling me. I glance at my phone, but I realize it’s not mine ringing. It’s Ace’s. It rings and rings until the voicemail cuts in.

Then there’s a series of pings that signal an influx of text messages or emails arriving. Ace sits there like a statute. I feel stupid and useless. Should I answer the inquiries for him? Say no comment? Block them? Or hell, just turn the stupid thing off.

“Ace, honey, can I help you?”

He doesn’t answer.

I fumble with my phone and text Matty.

Ace is frozen and his phone is blowing up. What should I do?

The phone rings immediately. Ace’s head tips slightly to the side, as if registering it’s at least not
his
phone.

“Hello?”

My heart leaps and my stomach drops at the same time.

“You okay?” Matty asks.

“Hey,” I answer vaguely not wanting to pour fuel on Ace’s already triggered temper.

“He’s sitting next to you?”

“Close.”

“Fuck.”

The animosity between the two is growing, and I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault. I turn away from Ace and whisper into the phone. “He’s in a bad place right now.”

Matty sighs. “Do you want me to come over?”

I clench the phone in my hand. “No. It’d make it worse.”

There’s a long pause at the other end of the line. I know he doesn’t like this, but Ace
is
my friend and I can’t abandon him now, no matter how rotten he’s been to me lately. Matty finally sighs, “Call me if you need anything. Anytime, okay?”

“Okay,” I say with relief.

He starts to say something but decides against it, and after we exchange goodbyes, we hang up.

“Was that him on the phone?” Ace asks immediately. Apparently, he’s not dead on my sofa.

I almost lie, but then I decide Ace deserves the truth about as much as I deserve to see Matty if I want.

“Yes.”

Ace breathes through his nose. “Are you
dating
him?”

The disbelief in his voice grates hard. I snap out, “Yes.”

“What makes you think you’re relationship material to him?”

“I…I…” The question is so surprising, so insulting, I barely know how to answer. “Am I not? Do you know something about me that prevents me from being, um, relationship material?”

“Yeah, because you’re too fucking nice. College is a cesspool of people who are fucked up, Lucy. You think you know them one minute, but you don’t. I don’t know what Masters was thinking marrying some chick he knew for the span of a semester, but we all know he’s going to be divorced before he gets his signing bonus.” Ace pauses. “No, after, because the chick will take his money and run off with it, after she’s fucked all of his teammates.”

“Ace, what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the fact that you’re making a huge fucking mistake. You want to survive with your soft little heart intact, then smarten up. I’ve told you time and again that guys here only want one thing. You think somehow your pussy is the golden one that suddenly turns Ives away from all the free pussy he has access to?”

I flinch.

“No, you’re a novelty. He thinks the chase is great, but once you stop running, he’ll be bored and move on to the next tasty treat on the menu. How long did your dad spend staring at the bottom of the bottle waiting for your mom to stop fucking my dad?”

I jerk back, feeling his words like a physical blow.