Jordan’s Deliverance (4 page)

Chapter Six

 

 

Jordan thought about her conversation that afternoon with David as she slowly stripped the damp sheets off her bed and dumped them on the floor along with her wet sleep-tee. Padding on bare feet toward her kitchen, she reached for her customary plastic cup, filled it with ice and water, and let the cool liquid ease her burning throat. The silent screams and heavy panting always left her parched and unsteady. She’d kept a set of plastic water glasses in the cabinet for times such as these. After an especially bad night terror, a glass had slipped from her trembling fingers and shattered on her tile floor at 3:00 a.m. That was not an ideal time to be sweeping and picking shards of glass from your feet.

Returning to her master bathroom, she pulled fresh white sheets from the linen closet and remade the bed just neatly enough to not be attacked by her bottom sheet during the night. Falling back into her many pillows, Jordan exhaled loudly and stared at the ceiling in frustration. The dreams were back.

She had an inkling as to why but knew it couldn’t be helped. Her best friend’s wedding and the responsibilities she’d happily accepted were taking a toll on her already hectic life, and the episodes with Riordan didn’t help either.

This was one of the things that made relationships so strained for her. She needed a man in her life who wouldn’t let her run roughshod over him, and yet when that character trait was shown she immediately went back into her emotional safe space. That safe space had kept her sane on many occasions when she was just waiting for the pain or isolation to end. It was hard to not go back there; hard for her to trust that line between negative physical aggression and positive, emotionally charged sexual expression.

Riordan clearly was attracted to her and had the most entertaining wit she’d come across in a very long time. As a matter of fact, his laissez faire attitude about life was what had pulled her in and lulled her into a false sense of security in the first place. She believed she was emotionally safe with him. There was no emotional depth to delve into or complicated character traits to analyze. He was one dimensional, sometimes annoying, and therefore harmless.

Or so she had thought. In the past several months he had proven to be attentive, protective, witty, kind, and sexy as all get-out. Maybe she should give him a chance, like David suggested. She would just make herself available for a few dates, very public, nothing too intimate, and then just in case those massive hands and towering body lost control she would not be in the line of fire. She had been a scared, helpless victim for years and fought her way out of that life. She was trying to just be normal now, but that couldn’t happen without taking a few steps out of her comfort zone.

As she lay curled in a ball, gripping her comforter to her chest, she heard the voice that never truly quieted in the back of her mind.
Stupid little bitch. If you just do what I say... If you listen and just do what I say… This is all your fault...

 

***

 

Riordan sat at his desk scrolling through emails, shuffling papers, and staring at blank forms which needed to be filled out. He could never understand why missions that were supposed to be so secret needed so much paperwork. Wasn’t that defeating the purpose?

He sighed and threw down his pen, running his hand through his hair. Pulling back his hair and tightening the elastic keeping it out of his eyes, he wondered how long until the agency told him he had to cut it off. He kind of liked the rebellious look and he noticed his Lovely Viper did also. There had been several occasions when she would tug at his locks gently when she wanted his attention or stare at him when he made a show of pulling his hair back. She dug it. He dug her. It was staying.

The ping of a text message coming through caught his attention, and he stared in surprise at the sender.

 

Lovely Viper:
How’s the hero business?

Riordan:
Tedious and boring. So how’s the lotion business?

Lovely Viper:
Relaxing and minty fresh. Can I make a confession?

Riordan:
Sure. Confess away.

Lovely Viper:
I’ve never asked anyone out on a date before so this is really awkward after all the roadblocks I’ve thrown up for you. Think you’d still like to get some dinner and talk about something other than Michael and Audra’s wedding?

 

Riordan sat back in his chair, smiling at the front of his cell phone like a loon. He didn’t know what great epiphany had happened between his last encounter with her and today, but he was not looking this gift horse in the mouth.

 

Riordan:
Sure. When would you like to have this meeting of the minds?

Lovely Viper:
Tonight?

Riordan:
How about Foster’s on 28
^th
St.? I’ll pick you up at 7
.

Lovely Viper:
I know this is last minute. If I’m interrupting any previous plans, you don’t have to…

Riordan:
You are no interruption, sweetheart.
J
You are a pleasant surprise.

Lovely Viper:
Oh um ok
J
See you at 7.

Riordan:
With bells on and maybe a top hat with tails.

Lovely Viper:
LOL. Goodbye Funnyman
J

 

Riordan stood up and stretched, checking the clock on his wall. Three more hours and he could start unraveling this puzzle that was Jordan Anderson.

 

***

 

Jordan, Audra, and David stood in Jordan’s bedroom staring at Jordan’s reflection thoughtfully.

“You need more color closer to your face,” said Audra, turning back toward Jordan’s walk-in closet.

“I like the black dress, though. It’s seductive and slimming,” David disagreed, tapping his pursed lips in thought.

“You’d think I’d never dated before. Seriously though, I can dress myself, Oh Critical Ones. I feel very confident. Look, even the girls look perky,” countered Jordan, hefting up her double D’s and running her hands down to her waist.

Audra raised an eyebrow and snorted.

“You think he’ll miss ’em or something? I still think you need color. You look like a Domme. You need something that says ‘
talk to me
’ not ‘
tie me up’
. Here, try this red satin wrap-around blouse with the pencil skirt. Flattering, yet not so come-hither.”

“I think you are both underestimating Riordan,” warned Michael. “He’s not going to make one wrong move tonight unless you instigate it, Jordan. I know men, and he’s been waiting for you for a while now. He’s not gonna mess this opportunity up by being too hands-y or overt. You could probably wear a silk robe and a thong and he would wait for the verbal green light from you first.”

“Really?” asked Jordan excitedly. That had been her fear all along—that at some point she would lose control over her own desire for Riordan and lead him to a physical place she wasn’t ready for. That was unfair to him.

“Yes,” assured David. “Now come on, Diva Mommy, we need to leave before this dreamboat comes a-knockin’. Have a good night, Jay. Have fun and don’t overthink everything. Call us in the morning with the details.”

David gave the black dress another thumbs up and left the bedroom, leaving the ladies alone.

Audra came up behind Jordan, still holding the red blouse. “Sweetie, the man you are about to date spent ten years keeping tabs on me for Michael, he will be the Godfather of my first child, and has for all intents and purposes pledged allegiance to his best friends above his own life. I trust him with my life. Trust him with one evening to bring you some happiness and bit of romance.”

Jordan smiled back at her friend, her eyes a little misty.

“Thanks, Audie,” she said before squeaking out a surprised “Ow!” and rubbing her rear. “What did you do that for?”

“Because I know you’re gonna wear that smokin’ LBD no matter what I say. Don’t come crying to me tomorrow when you get mauled in the elevator,” teased Audra. “Go get ’em, girl. This is your life. Don’t let the past dictate your future. I didn’t, and I’ve never been happier.”

Jordan listened as her friends walked down the hall and exited her apartment. She breathed deeply and made the conscious decision to let the cards fall where they may tonight. If there was passion, she would enjoy it. If there was flirting, she would flirt like he was the last man on earth. She had one life, and today she was going to live it with no more fear.

Chapter Seven

 

 

Riordan opened the passenger-side door to his Jaguar XF and inhaled the vanilla and jasmine that had been making him salivate for the past twenty minutes. Jordan looked like an alluring seductress in clinging black yet smelled like home and hearth. He knew he was smitten the minute Cameo came through his speakers and she was more than willing to belt out “Word Up” with him on the highway on their way to the restaurant. It was like the Jordan who had placed every obstacle she could in his path had decided to go on vacation and he was getting glimpses of the relaxed free spirit he’d only observed when she let loose with Audra or inside her store.

With her heels on, she was almost eye level with him, and he was easily able to wrap his arm around her waist as they walked toward the restaurant entrance. As he ushered her through the door of Foster’s she slipped adroitly passed two exiting male patrons who proceeded to follow the sway of her hips as if entranced. When one of them stopped and turned to get a better view Riordan caught his eye, stating proudly, “No rubbernecking, gentlemen. She’s mine.” And let the heavy mahogany door close in his face.

After being seated and ordering cocktails Jordan jumped into the interview process feet first.

“So tell me about your family,” she asked. “I envision Mom, Dad, one sibling, and a dog. Am I close?”

He chuckled and leaned back a little farther in his chair.

“I’m going to give you the unvarnished truth about my family and it goes as such: poor, farming immigrants from Denmark, and my real surname is Jensen. After two generations in California my parents were finally able to purchase sixty acres of farmland, and that’s where I grew up. My sisters and I grew up picking oranges and lemons with immigrants from Mexico, China, Korea, and El Salvador. We learned Spanish, Chinese, Korean, and Danish from our families, both blood-related and work-related. I gave up Jensen to protect my parents and two sisters when I was accepted into the agency. My mother always said I was trying to help the helpless things: birds, squirrels, frogs, dogs…whatever. I even brought home a homeless man from a park once when I was ten. Scared the hell out of my parents, but he ended up getting a PB and J and a pair of sneakers. I realized then that a little risk on my end could change a life. That’s what attracted me to the Agency. I save lives by being proactive, and I get to travel the world doing it. Everyone deserves a little saving, Lovely Viper, hence my last name—Deliverance. And I had anywhere from two to four dogs the entire time I was growing up. How was that for a recap?”

By this time the waitress had brought Jordan her vodka and pineapple, and she sipped it slowly, taking in Riordan’s story. “Wow. That sounds like a wonderful upbringing.”

“It wasn’t charmed or easy, but it was filled with love and support… enough to share, Jordan. I will admit I am a bit of a serial dater. I love women. But that doesn’t mean you need to fear me,” he confided, gently caressing her hand on the table. “I have to ask—what made you finally agree to go out with me?”

Jordan gently slid her hand from his and grasped her drink, running her fingers up and down the damp glass.

“You came with great recommendations, Agent Deliverance. And I am not afraid of you, by the way. Caution is always good when dealing with unknowns. Didn’t you know that?”

He chuckled, his deep throaty laughter sending delicious shivers down her spine. “Unknowns in battle, yes. But I wasn’t aware battle lines had been drawn. Are we at war, Lovely Viper?”

“Isn’t every romantic relationship a battle of wills, at least?” she countered, her eyes searching his, analyzing and penetrating.

“Actually, no, I believe it’s a puzzle to be solved as a couple. What’s the best way to achieve win-win situations together? Life is a battle all on its own. I wouldn’t set out to bring a battle into my home or my bedroom if I can help it.”

“I see,” she answered, her expressive eyes displaying her disappointment.

Riordan couldn’t help but read her expression and probe for answers. She projected like a drive-in movie theater. He had hit a nerve, and unless she opened up he couldn’t plan his next course of action. Reaching for her hand over the table again, he began to slowly massage her fingers with his fingertips. She glanced down at her hand in his grasp and seemed to release a little tension under his tender ministrations. Her eyes fluttered closed, hiding her feelings from his view, but she never pulled back.

“Do you need me to fight a battle with you, sweetheart?” he asked quietly, never wavering in his searching stare.

He watched her take a steadying breath and, finally, open her eyes, displaying the sea of emotion there.

“You know, I think this was a bad idea,” she concluded.

Feeling her pull away, he stopped her with a simple statement of fact. “You’re afraid. Whatever keeps you from opening up to me has a power over you that you think you can’t conquer. I don’t know what you are fighting, Jordan, but you don’t have to do it alone.”

Her humorless smirk made his heart break a little.

“You want to save the broken girl, Riordan? Be my own personal hero? How can you save me, farm-boy? Let me tell you a little bit about my family. My father died when I was eight years old. He was a firefighter and died in the line of duty, leaving my high-school-drop-out mother with gambling debts and a stack of unpaid bills. After losing our home because she had no savings, we moved in with my maternal grandmother, paying her what my mother received from my father’s pension until my grandmother had a stroke and we were forced to put her in a nursing home. My mother sold the home to pay for the nursing home expenses and moved us into a one-bedroom flat across town.

“After picking up double shifts at an all-night diner, my mother also picked up an impressive drinking habit which “helped her sleep and forget” she said. No one asked how she did it—no one cared but me. I knew something was very wrong when she never registered me for school that year and our landlord began coming around looking for his rent checks. It seems my mother drank that away and won us a one-way trip to the street. We lived in the car for a few months until she was fired for trying to bring her kid to work every day. Then the walking came. Can you save that homeless ten-year-old?” she asked. Her voice was distant and controlled.

“Eventually my mother and I were taken in by one of the slumlords in our neighborhood. I can imagine what she did for him in exchange for a roof and food for me. After social services forced my mother to re-enroll me in school, I never missed a day. I received an art scholarship to college and have been on my own ever since. With the exception of Audra and David, I have no family or long-term relationships to speak of. My mother died when I was nineteen, and I’ve never owned a dog. How was that for a recap? Do you still want to chase me so hard? Is the challenge still so attractive?”

Jordan’s jaw was tight with tension. Tremors made the ice clink in her glass as she brought the watered-down drink up to her lips. At that moment the waitress came by and asked if she could take their order, and Jordan looked at Riordan as if to say,
Are we moving forward or not
?

Then Riordan did something Jordan would never have expected. He picked up her hand and kissed her palm. Turning toward the waitress, he ordered for them both.

“We’d like an order of the clams casino as an appetizer and two house salads to start. We’ll need time to decide on entrées, thank you.”

“Very good, sir” the waitress said before moving on.

Jordan looked dumbfounded. She’d obviously expected a different reaction to her tale from Riordan, but he wasn’t having it. He sipped his beer and picked up the menu again and continued as if Jordan hadn’t told him of her soul-crushing childhood a moment ago.

“So, besides being a pillar of strength and a survivor, what do you like to do for fun? And making your fancy lotions doesn’t count.”

And that was the moment Riordan realized this woman was the reason why he’d been saving things his entire life. He was practicing for her. She didn’t realize what a force to be reckoned with she was, but he did, and he wanted her by his side like nothing he’d ever felt before. Courtship on, Lovely Viper.

 

***

 

Jordan held her fingertips to her mouth, unknowingly holding her breath as she flipped open the small card in her hand. Cheryl had delivered mail and more gifts from Riordan that morning. He had sent a small shipment of German chamomile, red clover from Denmark and a final box that smelled like heaven but she had yet to open it. She read the card several times, amazed at its contents.

 

My Dearest Viper,

I am sorry to be away these last several days. I am sure you understand that work will keep me traveling more often than not. I wanted to share a bit of where I’ve been and have asked my friend Alexi to ship you these items from his Boston address as I cannot communicate with you directly. Enclosed you will find German chamomile for your relaxation teas, red clover from Denmark per my mother’s request, and lastly, something I picked up for a lotion I would like you to make for yourself. My mother says the clover does wonders for hot flashes and anxiety. Best-seller guaranteed. And that she looks forward to meeting the woman who can out-smartass my smartass.

Missing you,

Riordan

 

She brought the card to her lips and smiled before tearing into the lovely smelling third package. Ghanaian cocoa beans! He wanted her to taste like…chocolate. She chuckled to herself. Oh, she could definitely make that happen. She didn’t know what to make of all the messages Riordan was sending her, but she was enjoying every bit of the attention.

This one package told her so many things. In the three weeks since their first dinner date, he had spoken about her to his mother, sent her high-quality product for her store, and had spoken of her to his other close friend, Alexi Bepa, the professor in Boston. She didn’t know where this relationship was heading, but she did know there was no sense of impending doom on her part. Audra had even called her giddy when they met for lunch yesterday. By now, she normally would have had that niggling feeling that the man she was dating was going to pressure her for sex, but so far Riordan hadn’t mentioned being physical in the slightest.

His only request was that she keep her Skype running on her laptop so he could see her face when he finally contacted her after landing back in the States.

She was in her storage room when her laptop began ringing, notifying her of an incoming call. She immediately dropped her mortar and pestle and ran to her laptop in the front of the store.

“Hello…hello...” she answered, just a little breathless.

“Hey, beautiful,” she heard on the other end before the image cleared, showing Riordan on the other end.

“Hey back.”

He was wearing an unbuttoned dress shirt, his blue eyes sparkling with mirth and his blond hair loose and damp as if he’d just gotten out of the shower. Behind him was a plain beige wall with a gray linen headboard, a nondescript painting in the background—standard for hotel bedrooms. He was apparently sitting on a bed, with his back against the wall.

“Are you home?” she inquired excitedly, touching her natural curls nervously.
I hope I don’t look a fright
, she thought.

“Stateside as of six hours ago. How’s my little alchemist doing?”

“Busy as usual. I received your packages from Alexi today—tell him I said thank you and thank your mother too, for the red clover. It will go on my medicinal wall tomorrow.”

“I will. I’m glad they can be of use. Did you like the cocoa beans? I was hoping you could use a little in your own personal collection. I seem to always leave you still feeling hungry for your sweetness, and I figured this way I have a perfectly reasonable reason to taste that lovely skin of yours.”

She’d never thought such a simple compliment could make her blush. She understood his implication that when he finally got around to tasting her skin it was not going to be a mere nibble but a feast of the senses for him. She realized she hoped it would be a six-course meal for them both.