Journey's End (Marlbrook) (21 page)

Laura’s thoughts constantly dwelled upon her sister.  On reflection, she believed that their relationship would not withstand this latest development.  The rift between them threatened to be permanent in construction.

Laura need not have worried.  The event that would overshadow all others had already come to pass, and the future would again take a different turn.

#

Laura sat by her window.  She watched as the pale winter sun struck the glass before coming to land on her journal, the colourful light dance leading the thoughts of the writer astray.  Laura removed herself from their influence.

A creator, long forgotten, had crafted the large ornate window, working the patterns of colour in with the room.  Ordinarily
,
the outlook would aid any crusader in their campaign to prove there was a God, but today it was ineffectual and unable to rally Laura’s spirits.  Subjects
with which
a lady should never have to cope had presented themselves, devastating Laura’s world and wreaking havoc with her emotions.

The sun was low in a sky, coloured like a child’s drawing in orange and grey pastels, before Laura’s journal beckoned.  S
he wrote with a troubled heart.

“I confess to be at a loss
,
for the way forward is bleak, and there appears to be no way back.  I shall write of the sequence of events that has led me here
,
and in achieving their documentation perhaps I shall obtain a sense of order that will
enable
me
to
carve a way out.

This morning, as the sun first presented
it
s
rays
,
Sarah entered my bedroom and moved at once to open
the heavy drapes
.  The curtains parted with a violent push that was the forerunner
,
in her time of need
,
of lashing out.  Sarah’s sole purpose was to hurt someone.

The crushing burden of Sarah’s news has added more weight to the troubles that I already shoulder.  I fear I tread a thin line of sanity.

The baby is due, by all calculations, in the autumn, and if what Sarah says of me is true
,
then I have indeed let her down.  Had my experiences been broader, I may have been able to acknowledge the transgressions taking place.  I ask God to help us both and the child in the times to come.”

CHAPTER
TWENTY-
FIVE
- Decisions

The horse was covered in sweat.  Foam clung to the mouth of the abused beast, the animal’s frantic snorting chaotic amid the quiet.  Lord Henry ignored the creature’s distress
,
as he bounded the last few steps to the entrance of Marlbrook.

Determination drove him.  He was burnt out from trying to escape the responsibility of Laura and her pious ways.  Neither drink nor his use of whores had managed to eliminate her from memory, and it irked him to think that a servant in his household had triumphed where many glamorous women had failed.  Laura had captured his heart.  Lord Henry’s smile was not flattering, as he thought about the woman who had never sought his affection nor recognised the fact that she had succeeded.

Lady
Emily viewed Henry’s return with disdain.  Her movements were slow and premeditated as she appraised her husband.  The initial examination over, she returned to her chores before her mirror
,
without bothering to endorse his presence.  She selected her comments with care.

“Husband, if you must insist on having your harlots, and heaven alone knows whatever else it is that occupies your time, I suggest you clean yourself up before either the servants or your mother lay eyes on you.”

Lord Henry retreated from his
wife’s
sight; he had no appetite for her company.

Laura was unaware of the drama that was transpiring.  She was neither privy to the information that Lord Henry had returned
n
or
did she know
that he was headed in her direction - a man driven by unreasonable expectations and the imperative need for forgiveness.

No announcement recorded Lord Henry’s arrival through the open door.  This was his home, and Laura deserved cour
tesy only if he so ordered it.

Laura was seated at her writing desk, her mind immersed in her work.  Her relaxed posture indicated that she was unconcerned by any thought of what was about to happen.

Lord Henry made no move towards Laura.  Uncertainty ruled.  His practised phrases, so carefully thought out, had fled to some unknown place.  Abandoned, his silence dominated the scene.

The day was glorious.  The spring chill had been excluded from the room, the pair bathed in the soft glow of the afternoon sunlight.  The setting was deceptive.

Upon recognising that she was no longer alone, a
mad frenzy occupied Laura’s thoughts.  She spoke, her utterances faint in tone, covering with some degree of success her underlying anxiety.  Any hint of malice that fancied an appearance, she subdued.

“I did not know you to have returned, sir.”  The words expelled, Laura repositioned herself behind her desk
,
her subconscious mind directing her to establish a sturdy barrier between them.  She continued.  “I have to be honest and declare that your presence in my private chamber is alarming, and I must respectfully ask that you take your leave. There is little that requires airing between us or
that
calls for your attendance here.”

Lord Henry’s appearance spoke of his escapades, but Laura had no desire to seek any particulars.  His personal life was no affair of hers.  She owed the man nothing.

Lord Henry declined to endorse Laura’s genuine assertions.  Retracing his steps over and over
,
Lord Henry began pacing the room
.  S
uddenly he stopped, apparently ready to speak.

“You will be pleased to know, madam, that you have had revenge on my person
,
for I have not been blessed with an untroubled sleep since our -.”  Lord Henry exerted effort to locate the correct word, knowing the difference one retort could make "- encounter.”

Laura made a brief attempt to reply, but he dismissed her with a brisk wave of his hand.

“Please
,
madam, I must ask that you let me finish what I have come to say, and then, I assure you, I shall grant your request and leave you to your own company.”

Laura did as she was instructed
,
for no other options presented themselves.

“I am not here to assault you with words or threaten you with my behaviour, but to announce that I have been punished for my misguided treatment of you.  I sense that you may scoff at this expression of sentiment, Laura, particularly in view of earlier incidents, but I can declare, with some certainty, that you remain held in the highest of regard.”

Lord Henry’s riding crop sat in his hand
,
beating an untidy rhythm against his leg as if outwardly signifying his repentance.

Once before
,
Laura had gained consolation from similar assurances, but the context in which Lord Henry offered his pledge was completely at odds with the previous occasion.  One set of words had pacified her, these demanded of her soul.

Laura spoke aloud her troubles and in doing so partially revived her spirit.  Her phrases were no longer subdued in nature, her remarks
scathing
.

“Your neediness is unnecessary, my
Lord
, for what relevance can there be for a servant to be held in esteem? Your words indicate honour and respect which is surely unjust when a Lord is dealing with a lowly attendant.”

The riding crop ceased its activity.

Laura sustained her attack.  “But fear not. I recognise the courage that it must have taken to express these words, especially since you speak to a servant that you once dismissed as unworthy. Accordingly, I accept your
words of
atonement
,
if that is what will assist you in finding absolution.”

Lord Henry had been sufficiently self-absorbed to believe that Laura would forgive him and that would be the end of the matter.  Part of him wanted to accept Laura’s cynical reply.  To do so meant that no further work would have to be undertaken on his behalf.

Laura felt the bile rise in her throat and turned from the sight of him.  Her composure was departing, leaving her with a fight on her hands to retain a small measure of calm.  Hysteria was not something
with which
she was well versed, but she was aware that the condition might not be too far away.

“God damn it
,
woman!”

Lord Henry’s stinging phrase was severe, shocking Laura to attention.

He was no lad to be chastened by Laura.  “I am a Lord - do you hear me! A Lord of the Realm, and while I have come across all types of women in my years of wandering this earth
,
you, madam, you are more than is natural.”

Lord Henry crossed the small space between them.  Taking hold of Laura, he ignored the tremors that passed through her body
as
he kept up his assault.

“Laura, I am a man for God
’
s sake. My wants are not to be spurned as unnatural or cast to one side as though irrelevant.  To have someone like you taunt me
,
with no hope of compensation
,
is something as unfamiliar to me as being poor would be. Do you comprehend what it is I speak to you of Laura? Do you have any awareness of what you represent?
”

Lord Henry could see the answer written in Laura’s expression.  He flung her from him before departing her company.  Laura’s disgust served as a knife to penetrate his core.

Laura walked to her bedroom door and locked it behind him.  The unleashing of her wounds had begun in earnest and the sobbing was heart wrenching.

The luxury of pity eluded Laura.  Issues far more pressing than her own required her attention, and to that end
,
when Laura could cry no more, she wrote
,
in the belief that her journal might save her.

“
Lord Henry accuses me of substantial wrong and I cannot say that he is not correct in at least some of his indictments.  I have much to think about but know the outcome will not be different.  I make no apologies.  The lack of insight I may have shown seems to have led many a merry dance as those around me scorn me for it.

Sarah’s need is the greatest.  By not granting Lord Henry full forgiveness, I may have condemned Sarah to a fate that I now avow to share.

I have the additional strain of facing him again, and I do not know what will happen when I confront him with this latest development.  The outcome, as always, is in God’s hands.”

#

Laura stood alone, surrounded by the knowledge of the centuries.  She waited for the man who would be her judge and jury before proclaiming her fate. 
She did not miss the irony the l
ibrary presented but the relevance paled when compared with what was to come.

Conscious that he did not like surprises, Lord Henry dreaded another confrontation where winning did not appear to be an attainable option.

Laura was dressed in the plain grey dress that seemed to be all she owned, her hair braided in its usual pattern.  When she turned to face him
,
it was with a pride so evident that it caused him physical pain.

While Lord Henry admitted that he assigned no honour to his offensive conduct
,
he had not forgotten the sampling of Laura.  There had been many nights when he had relived the experience in fantasy before the light of day again surfaced to trouble his existence.

Laura hardened her resolve as the disclosure, practised in preparation for this interview, echoed in the hollowness of the room.  Her humbleness was real.

“Sir, I thank you for your precious time, and I shall try and keep matters precise.”  Laura hesitated.  Surplus energy spent, she determined not to look down or cower.  She collected her thoughts, breathing deeply to help stabilise her speech.

“It is with great difficulty that I must inform you of my sister’s dire state of affairs.”

This room, once Laura’s haven and then the scene of her ruin, would now bear witness to her confession.  “My sister, my Lord, is with child these two months gone.”  The announcement flowed.  Laura had conquered the moment and could now only trust that vengeance would not be his goal.

Lord Henry began to move in a set pattern, his agitation releasing as he stepped out a regular rhythm, the momentum gathering until his actions gave Laura grounds for concern.