JR (121 page)

—Funniest thing I can…

—I know I mean I didn't even know it till we just sent him down to see this big scientist he hired us down there at Texas this here Doctor Vogel you know? Like I even saw in the paper we told him don't come back if they can't fix up these technical problems with these here noise shards and this big thing I been waiting to tell you hey look. See where it says here a method of transport so new it remains classified top secret-sensitive by the Defense Department I mean I couldn't even tell you it over the phone you know? I mean we already set up this here whole subsiderary for it what it is it's called Teletravel, see what it is is this hey? Hey Bast?

—What what…

—I thought you went to sleep, I mean I'm telling you this here tremendous…

—Look the conductor's waiting will you pay him for my…

—We all got return tickets this time see so I don't…

—Well I didn't! Pay him.

—Okay don't get mad, I mean could you just hold this stuff a second

… ? Paper scraps, handkerchief wad, the wadded bills came out, coins

—hey? Could you give me…

—Look I just bought your newspaper I don't even have the thirty- sev…

—No I mean if you give me seventeen cents I won't have to break this here quarter see then you can…

—Pay him!

—I am! but, wait give me two cents then I won't have to break this nick okay okay! You don't need to get so mad and I mean this here newspaper you can put it on your expen wait, wait where is it …

—You…

—No but where is it! holy, it must have dropped is it by your feet hey?

—You probably dropped it in the station get another one, what difference…

—No but all this stuff's happening today I have to see what happened, I mean this here whole court thing and this explosion they're like setting off underground out there for this here big gas deposit where these like radicals they've been going around telling the newspapers and everybody it's so dangerous and getting this here injunction to what's the matter hey, how come you're shivering.

—Be, cause I'm cold…

—How could you be cold you're like sweating all down your…

—Look just, just get this stuff of yours off my lap I'm going to take a nap.

—What like go to sleep? No but wait a second we got all this stuff to go over and these tapes and all I mean…

—I told you get another seat, you can lis…

—No but you need to help me out listening I mean how do I even know whose voice they are talking, I mean like I'm always reading this stuff in the paper where this company spokesman makes this statement which I don't even know who it is like this here whole explosion thing, it says this company spokesman which prefers to remain anonymous says what's the difference if the whole state blows up who would even miss it so Senator Milliken gets real pissed off and we have to go …

—Look I haven't even been here how can I …

—No but that's what I mean Bast, like who just said it's this bomb threat and these here company spokesmen I don't hardly know who anybody is anymore like this here Mister Greenspan, I mean Piscator said he's up there helping you out when you went which you didn't even tell me so he goes and sells off this whole old Ray-X inventory right when we're writing it off did you even know that?

—No I don't even know where he …

—Me neither I mean I ask Piscator so all he knows he says they talked French so it must be somebody down at France, see they bought it all

at retail and paid cash so at first Piscator's taking all this credit like he tried that time with that neat Triangle deal it was really Beamish that figured up, see so if we hear these here tapes we can…

—Can't you understand I haven't been here? Any tapes I've got were made before I left I've just been carrying them around to give you with the rest of this trash. I don't know what's on them I don't even know if that tape thing's still on the phone, I come back and the place is full of marshals waving subpoenas somebody sticks his head in the car window and says you're firing everybody franchising your health plan on your way to court Crawley's going under how am I sup…

—But that's what I been trying to tell you! I mean where Crawley and these here brokers get pissed off at me where they have to go borrow all this here margin money off these same banks they helped get us these big loans off of so then these big lenders start yelling how they have to protect theirself, so I mean I have to go put all this stock in this here voting trust which they control it so they won't call these here old loans on us and they'll go through with these here new ones so then you go sell off your stock and they're really pissed off, I mean then they get to dump our directors and hire this bunch of new ones which get to fire the whole J R Corp management and sue me for this here erotic…

—So it's my fault is that what you mean?

—No well sort of see bec…

—Because a bank sells my stock and gets me fired for selling it and then somebody sues me while you're running around getting loans for

this here asset to borrow against for this here new asset to look

haven't I told you to stop? when the whole thing started? just stop and let somebody help you pull things together instead of this more! more! The more you get the hungrier you get by this time you don't even know how much you, I mean who would believe it who would be, any of it who would believe it.

—No but that's what you do! I mean where they said if you're playing anyway so you might as well play to win but I mean even when you win you have to keep playing! Like these brokers these underwriters these banks everything you do somebody's getting this percent for theirself this commission this here interest where they all

know each other so they're fixing up these deals giving you all this here advice which they're these big experts how am I supposed to stop everything!

—If you hadn't been so cheap if you'd just hired somebody who knew what…

—Okay so I even write out this whole bunch of rules where one says hire smart people but run things yourself if they're so smart how can you run anything! I mean this Mister Greenspan he's so smart everybody else is hiring him like Crawley says he has this surefooted grasp of market trends he tries to hire him he even said this Leva tried

to hire him so I mean I try to call him up they just leave the phone hang there I don't even know…

—Look will you just get this pile of stuff off my…

—Okay wait let me find this one financial column it says he's like maybe this like greasy eminence behind the whole meteoric rise of J R Corp I mean I don't even know who he is! I mean it even says there's this rumor where these new directors even want to hire him for how he figured up this Erebus deal where they're suing me for this here erotic management for the same thing hey, hey? Can't you even…

—I can't even move my knees no now will you get this stuff…

—No but you're not hardly even listening Bast I mean…

—Well what do you mean! How could you be sued for …

—I just told you erotic management how do I know, I mean that's what Piscator said wait where's, I wrote all this stuff down like they just stuck in everything they can think of see look hey, our next quarter earnings that they're grossly overstated like where we put in this here forecast for J R Shipping Corp where there's all these rules about shipping U S exports in American bottoms, see so we were like building it up to ship all these bellies in these here American bottoms I mean what's so erotic about that.

—I don't know I don't know what you're talking about, look Pis- cator's the only one who can do anything why don't you just…

—No but he already did it boy, I mean he goes and files this here affidavit which he said it means I allowed myself to be served I mean how did I know what that means it sounds like some crumby lunchroom, so like then some dumb newspaper says this here company

spokesman confirms I maybe went to Honduras which I never even heard of it so these here new directors get this court to attach all this stock in this here voting trust to like make sure I'll be there today to defend everything, like this here Judge Ude I mean he wouldn't even give this postponement while we figure up some laws I mean holy shit how can I go to court!

—To court! but you, look this might be serious look…

—That's what I been trying…

—No but what can, what did Piscator say they wouldn't just come and arrest us I don't even…

—No wait see it's these whole different things, see where these here stockholders say you screwed them it's like this thing you did just for yourself see only this thing today I wouldn't get arrested because everything I did I'm like acting for the corporation, I mean that's the thing of this here limited reliability you know? See where these new directors get pissed off at me for this here erotic management only I'm like acting for the corporation doing all this stuff for these here stockholders with this limited reliability it's like the corporation did it itself which you can't go put a corporation in jail, I mean it would be like sticking this bunch of papers in jail see so …

—So I can go to jail and you've got nothing to worry about you don't even go to court you just…

—No no that's what I'm telling you hey! I mean if I don't show up and they get this here judgment and take all this stock off me where I lose control then I can't even…

—Yes but that's, then it's over! It's all over!

—No but wait a sec…

—Today right now you're supposed to be there aren't you? and you're not? So you lose it you lose your stock you lose the whole thing the whole mess you're out of it why didn't you tell me!

—Okay but wait a …

—Okay what do you mean okay it's the best thing that ever happened why didn't you just tell me instead of, look what's going on anyhow! You knew about it about the court the whole thing but you show up today with this field trip you pretend everything's…

—No but how did I know this court thing's going to happen today! I mean boy is Mister Stye going to be pissed off, like I mean him and Davidoff fixed up this trip ahead of time for this whole publicity thing for where we like bought the school off that Superintendent that Mister Teakell before he just got killed in this car wreck see it's going to be like this here showcase…

—Stop it! you can't buy schools you can't even buy…

—No well see the deal is where these taxpayers have this here referendum wait I got this thing out of the paper, see they're pissed off about all these school taxes so there's this referendum where J R Foundation like takes over the school and J R Corp like buys the plant off it on this ninety-nine year leaseback deal where we pay these here

operating expenses which they're all deductible anyway see, so then we have like this here whole showcase of these new D and S subsiderary's textbooks and these here other education enervations you know? What's the matter …

—Just let me get my foot…

—I mean where school's always this bunch of crap which it never has anything to do with anything real you know? So like when Whiteback quit we got this here Mister Stye which he's like this branch manager, I mean he used to be this insurance man so he knows what everything's worth, you know? Like there's this neat idea where instead of getting these dumb marks you get paid see like a dollar is A, fifty cents is B C is a quarter D is like nothing see then instead of E you have to pay a nick wait what are you doing hey…

—Just move your knees I'm getting another seat, I just can't listen to

…

—No but wait a second! I mean what…

—You just told me it's over didn't you! The whole thing it's all over can't you stop…

—No but you didn't let me finish where we get to countersue hey! I mean like they sue us so we sue them right back I mean that's what you do! I mean for like antitrust and conspiracy and all where they fixed up this here whole voting trust thing just to screw me out of ev, hey? hey what's the matter…

—I don't, don't feel very…

—You got all white hey wait get your knees wait let me get my, just hold this stuff a second sit back I mean just to get me by the short hair you know? Where they use these old loans to make us get these here new ones which we're building these here assets where you're like dribbling on your chin hey, I mean then they start yelling we're overextended and fix up this here voting trust where I'm like this captive borrower which stop jiggling your knees I'm trying to find this here article, look…

—I, no …

—Okay wait I'll read it listen. The small closely held company which rose almost overnight from the ruins of a failing upstate textile mill to become the multimillion dollar multiface, facet, faceted J R Corp appears threatened by a credit squeeze whose dramatic repercussions could be felt throughout the corporate and financial world it was reported here today, I mean that was like Tuesday. Attracted by the smell of here it is listen hey, smell of profits and the corporate daring which have characterized the company's abrupt entry into such diverse areas as pap wait where does it tell about me down here someplace I thought I marked it, reputation both as a ruthless corporate manipulator with a shrewd see this is me hey, a shrewd eye for tax situations, and a man of vision whose almost clair, clair something see this is still me, clairsome-thing ability to cut through to the heart of a problem and post an answer in profits before the competition has

understood the quest continued on where's the rest of it wait, I even marked it where I have this here bulldog jaw and all might prove there's more truth than why'd I mark that for it's, wait no wait this is you hey listen. You listening?

—Just get this stuff off my…

—Okay just a second listen hey. Might prove there's more truth than poetry in the bard's words music hath charms to soothe the savage dot dot dot when intimates report funloving millionheiress Boody Selk shedding her swarthy sitar strumming playmate to slip on an eyecatching topless by daring new designer Harry Bosch for her latest teetateet with suave young business exec Edward Bast, seems Ed dabbles at the ivories between corporate mergers we hear his dad's a prominent conductor on the Long Island Railroad who does a little tunesmithing on the side but with Ed's head for figures these days he may be planning a merger of a diff… hey wait what do you…