JR (57 page)

—Okay but like is it my fault if they keep screwing up your check and all? And I mean like I'm advancing you these expenses like this here whole fifty dollars to help out for your…

—All right! Look that's all I want to get straightened out here, I've got exactly ninety-four cents that money wasn't to help out for my anything, it was expenses for this trip, I've got them all written down I

mean I'm the one who's been doing everything while you sit here picking your nose talking about five million dollars now…

—No but holy, I mean listen I'm the one that has to figure things up and like make these here decisions with these risks and all like I mean I barely made it boy, getting this here stockholder suit money in this one account to borrow against in this here other one to get all these forks shipped to pay for all these here bonds which I'd already sent away for them where these here brokers start…

—That's what I'm talking about! You send away for this, send away for that, you send away for a lawyer you get into one mess and ask me to help you out just this once and while I'm up there trying to straighten it out you're sending away for a brewery and I don't know what, I'm trying to get you out of trouble and you're just making it bigger with all this, this paper, these numbers on paper and this nonsense about lease-backs and depreciated whatever it is, you ask me to help you out just this once and…

—But what am I suppose to do! his foot came to the floor and he got the other one free of the radiator, —I mean who asked them for their lousy mills? All I did was buy these bonds for this here investment and mind my own business and then they turn around and dump all these wrecked up buildings and people and stuff on me and what do they expect me to do, build them a park? I mean holy shit … he ripped a paper towel down and worked it at his nose, —I have this here investment which I have to protect it don't I? And I mean you're so sorry for all these old people with this here stock they got in exchange for their bonds which they'd bought them for this investment just like I did so what about them? I mean this broker says convert my preferred stock to common and buy more common so I can do something to protect my thing there let them have the preferred because all they give a shit about is will they get their dividends anyway, so like how are they going to get them if we just keep paying everybody to play softball and sing Stout Hearted Men and then some smartass comes along and screws us with a stockholder's suit, I mean holy shit Bast…

He took the paper towel away from his nose and stared into it, —I mean I'm just trying to protect their investment too, you know?

—But it has to stop somewhere! can't you understand that? Can't you just let your mail order lawyer straighten out this Eagle Mills without talking about buying breweries and…

—No but that's the thing! he wadded the towel and dropped it. — You can't… and he kicked it toward the radiator, —I mean like when we went on that field trip where that Diamond Cable Company the president of it said if you're playing you might as well play to win but you can't just might as well, he came on skating the towel wad across the floor, gave it a slap shot with his instep. —You can't just play to play because the rules are only for if you're playing to win which that's the only rules there are.

—All right then look. I said I'd help you out just this once and I did,

now you can go ahead with this Mister Piscator you've got. You and Mister Piscator can get out there and play to win.

—No but I can't just go out there and meet him hey!

—Out where…

—Out by the Egyptian stuff see we had in school where they have this Egyptian tomb and all here so I told Piscator you're like real interested in Egypt and I thought after we went over all this Eagle stuff from your trip you could just bump into him there like, see and then you and him could go up to the office and, and what's the matter hey. Hey Bast?

—What.

—Well see I thought if you'll help me out again just this once till things get going like with Piscator and wait wait don't get mad hey because see like I've only talked to him on the telephone which that doesn't work so good because when I stuff this handkerchief in it to make me sound bigger he says he can't hardly understand me, so see like I wrote all this stuff down … he had the attaché case open and snapped down a flap in its cover where pages of coarse composition paper lay filled margin to margin in thick lead pencil. —See it won't take you long because it's just all these little things only you have to have a lawyer to do them, like if we want to open a business account at the bank he has to get us this here business certificate off the state of New York, and then this here is I was thinking of if we want to get incorporated on the side like what do we have to do. See and then here's this stuff about this X-L Lithograph thing we were just talking about see we can figure out these expenses now and like how much you still owe me and if you still need more for expenses ahead of time if you can help me out again just this once? I mean like all I've done for you like getting to take this trip and staying at this here hotel and this banquet you went to and all those Softball games and getting your picture in the paper and all…

—No no stop, stop I …

—And like this here attaché case I got you with these gold initials on and that neat alarm clock and I mean I go get all these here business cards printed up for you and I call up that Virginia and fix it up where you get her to take telephone calls at that cafet…

—Look these aren't my initials! and that, that clock it runs backwards I have to stop and do arithmetic whenever I want to know what time it is look I hate softball, don't you understand that? I don't want my picture on the front page of the Weekly Messenger can't you understand that? Getting to stay at that broken down Union House the rug was so filthy you couldn't even, you had to put a quarter in the radio to make it play and that banquet! Sitting across from that Bunky eating a banana stuffed with, he spent three years in eighth grade the newspaper didn't mention that did it I mean getting to take this trip, do you know how long the bus takes to Union Falls? Because you wouldn't pay for a plane ticket you wouldn't even pay for the train

who asked you to get a thousand business cards printed, business representive with footmarks on them who asked you to subscribe to Textile World and…

—No but wait a second hey I mean, I mean where we were going to like try and help each other out and I'm advancing these expenses and figuring up paying you without…

—Paying me what! Look if we can just settle these expense…

—No but I mean where I'm getting you all this different stock see? Only you get this here mail which you don't even open it up I mean what am I supposed to do! I mean where I'm trying to help you out and you don't even…

—All right look there was, what was it a share of some gas company one share what's that supposed to …

—No but that's one of them hey I mean that's what I been trying to tell you! This El Paso Natural Gas I got you it cost like twelve fifty see that's the …

—You mean you spent, why didn't you just give me the money! What good one share of …

—No but then you get taxed like this regular income and I mean it's not just this here one share, I mean I'm getting you this bunch of different ones like this here bonus see so …

—But why! If I just have to turn around and sell them what…

—No but you can't Bast I mean that's what I'm trying to tell you! I mean if you'd read up these here booklets where I find out all this stuff see if you go right and sell it you get taxed like this salary where you're some dumb teacher or bus driver or something you know? Only with this stock this here whole first hundred dollars of dividends is excludable see like El Paso, they pay twenty-five cents a quarter wait…

he was sifting the heap on the radiator —look, International Paper they pay fifty cents, U S Steel sixty cents see you get to add these all up to this hundred dollars that's excludable, see like Disney pays…

—B
ut
from what! excludable from what! Fifty cents sixty cents what are you buying one share of this one share of that what…

—No but look hey listen, I mean like if we went and got one bunch of shares like U S Steel see then you just get this here literture off U S Steel like this one annual report and quarterly report and proxy statements and like where they're in some law thing and all, see but if you own this here one share of all different places they still have to send you all this here literture see so I was thinking, I mean see you could read up so if one of them was like screwing up someplace maybe we could get this here stockholder suit going like at Diamond Cable I mean like Disney boy wouldn't that be neat hey? I mean if we could get them by the short hair and…

—Look I don't want to get them by the short hair! can't you understand that? And reading all these things I couldn't understand them anyhow don't you understand that? I'm just…

—No but look Bast I mean that's why I been sending away for these

books and all for you, like Understanding Financial Statements I mean it tells how to read a balance sheet and all didn't you get that? and like Statistican something of the United States and this here Moody's something, didn't you get them?

—I got them yes! What do you think I …

—No but I mean they really cost plenty, like you didn't even read them hey? Like this here Moody's something manual I mean it cost like…

—Of course I haven't read it it would take a month just to, look that's what I just said who asked you to! The Statistical Abstract of the United States Moody's Industrials who asked you to buy them! What…

—No but look hey I mean holy, I mean where we said we'll help each other out like and I mean all I said is will you read up this here literture and…

—Will you stop saying literture! Look I said I'd help you out once just this once, and you…

—No but I can't help if that's what they call it! and, and I mean holy shit like you're getting to keep all these here dividends which they're excludable and all I mean I just thought you could like read up this here, this here stuff in your spare time like where you said once you can compose this music where you're doing something else like you're going for a walk or on the train and all see so I just thought where you have all this here spare time to do your own work like you're always…

—To do what work! what spare time! watching a bunch of idiots play Softball listening to them bray God Bless America do you think I look, look these expenses let's just clear up these expenses and whatever you owe me and…

—Okay don't get mad I mean see that's what I mean about this here operating cash on this here loan you know? See we…

—I don't know no! I don't want to I just…

—No but see it's all wrote out there from Mister Piscator this here loan off Hopper's bank to Eagle management see so we have some op- erat…

—Look will you look at this? Just…

—And I mean this here whole fifty dollars I gave you at the boys' room at school for like expenses and…

—Well that's what this is! You wanted me to write it all down didn't you? every nickel I spent so I wouldn't cheat you out of…

—No but wait hey wait! Who said you'll cheat anybody, I mean see what it is it's this whole thing where you get to deduct all these here business expenses like riding around and eating you get to deduct them off taxes and all see that's the whole thing of it hey, I mean see I was reading in this little booklet I got where this here corporation tax it's like fifty-two percent after you take off these expense deductions and all, see so that means for every dollar you spend it's only costing like forty-eight cents see? I mean that's the whole thing of how it all works see so where I said will you write down…

—All right! look, bus fare nineteen eighty, hotel three nights seventeen sixteen, three breakfasts one twenty, two lun…

—I mean you didn't charge that turkey dinner and all did you hey? Because like it said in the paper where they're the host and all see like if they're deducting it too we'd be …

—No! and I, look I didn't charge the quarter I put in the radio either will you just…

—No I mean I just wondered … he had one leg up on the radiator working with the pencil stub —because, I mean how come it has like two lunches a dollar forty then there's this here sandwich a whole dollar I mean how come…

—Because lunch in Union Falls is cheap and this bus stop sandwich was two pieces of dry bread with a piece of dry cheese…

—No that's okay I just wondered twenty, three, four, carry two and one is three, four, forty-four twenty-one then you still have this here ninety-four cents so that's eight, five… somewhere a urinal flushed — wait, four from nought borrow ten, five, I mean then you already spent like your pay you already spent five dollars forty-two cents from it so I mean even with what I still owe you minus that and like minus this

here ten dollars from that field trip I mean that doesn't hardly leave…

—Look it doesn't matter! Just give me whatever you…

—No but see how it comes out there's still most of this ten dollars from that field trip I loaned you and I mean you'll need more for bus fare and all later anyway where you're taking this guy to dinner see so

…

—Look I'm not taking your Mister Piscator to dinner don't…

—No not him hey it's one of these here old brothers this Mister Wonder, see…

—No.

—No but wait a second see he's only here this once see and…

—No!

—And I mean you have to eat anyway see so I just thought wait, wait where you going hey! What's all that stuff wait… !

—It's music what does it look like, I'm…

—No but you wrote all this here music hey?

—Of course I did, now…

—No but I mean how come you're just yelling about you don't get a chance to do your own work and you write this whole pile of…

—It's not my own work! I just wrote it for some dancers to make enough money to …

—No but hey Bast? I mean, I mean where I said maybe we can use each other so you can do this here work you're always yelling about you can't get it done holy, I mean is it my fault you go write all this music for these here dancers instead? I mean…