Judgement Day (26 page)

Chapter 10,
the angel with the little book. He has one foot on the sea and one
foot on the land.  In my mind I had always imagined a gigantic
angel, but then I realised that I had been writing my book while
walking up and down the beach in Tasmania.  Excellent beaches
in Tasmania, by the way.  His book tastes sweet as honey in
the mouth because God is real, it’s Judgement Day, God has come to
save you, etc.  It turns the stomach bitter because I reveal
that everyone is guilty of original sin, which kind of pisses
people off, people like to be told how great they are. Seriously,
if people were great, I wouldn’t be here.  The angel raises
his hand to heaven and swears by He who lives forever and ever that
there will be no more delay.  Thank fuck.  The mystery of
God will be revealed, the world is a stage my friends.

I was given
a reed like a measuring rod and was told, “Go and measure the
temple of God and the altar, with its worshipers.
But
exclude the outer court; do not measure it, because it has been
given to the Gentiles. They will trample on the holy city for 42
months. And I will appoint my two witnesses, and they will prophesy
for 1,260 days, clothed in sackcloth.” They are “the two olive
trees” and the two lampstands, and “they stand before the Lord of
the earth.”
If anyone tries to harm them, fire comes from
their mouths and devours their enemies. This is how anyone who
wants to harm them must die. They have power to shut up the heavens
so that it will not rain during the time they are prophesying; and
they have power to turn the waters into blood and to strike the
earth with every kind of plague as often as they want.

Now when they
have finished their testimony, the beast that comes up from the
Abyss will attack them, and overpower and kill them. Their bodies
will lie in the public square of the great city—which is
figuratively called Sodom and Egypt—where also their Lord was
crucified. For three and a half days some from every people, tribe,
language and nation will gaze on their bodies and refuse them
burial. The inhabitants of the earth will gloat over them and will
celebrate by sending each other gifts, because these two prophets
had tormented those who live on the earth.

But after the
three and a half days the breath of life from God entered them, and
they stood on their feet, and terror struck those who saw them.
Then they heard a loud voice from heaven saying to them, “Come up
here.” And they went up to heaven in a cloud, while their enemies
looked on.

At that very
hour there was a severe earthquake and a tenth of the city
collapsed. Seven thousand people were killed in the earthquake, and
the survivors were terrified and gave glory to the God of
heaven.

The second woe
has passed; the third woe is coming soon.

[Revelation
11]

Chapter 11,
this is where I die, at least temporarily.  It even says where
I’m going to die.  “The place that is figuratively called
Sodom and Egypt, where also Jesus was crucified.”  I can’t
tell you where this place is, I’ve figured it out though.
 I’ll give you a hint, what do Sodom, Egypt, and the place
Jesus was crucified have in common? Do you know what? Let’s do an
experiment, I’ll tell you the place. Sodom was destroyed because it
was a wicked place, it was in Egypt that the Jews were enslaved
until Moses rescued them, and the place where Jesus was crucified
speaks for itself, so what do these places have in common?
Sinfulness. Do you know what place is figuratively called “Sin
City”? Las Vegas. Honestly, I only thought of this because I know
Britney Spears works there, and I have always wanted to go to
Vegas. So that’s it, that’s where the Bible says I’ll be killed,
will it still happen now that you know? I’ll be on the first
fucking flight to find out!  The good news for me is that I’m
only dead temporarily, the bad news for you is that the First Law
of God will be broken. The exchanging of gifts seems to signify
that perhaps this happens on Christmas, or during some other
celebratory time perhaps?  Now, this is the part I’m having
the biggest issue with. You see, I’m not just here as the leader of
the world’s biggest religion, I’m starting the biggest religion in
the universe.  As much as I’d rather not be relying on aliens
to resurrect me, I think I have to, because you are going to kill
me
.
 The good news
for me is that God has promised that I may eat freely from the tree
of life and live forever, the bad news for you is that it is my
death that triggers the apocalypse, and I’m not coming back until
it’s over, you can sort your own shit out.  After my death I
ascend “into heaven” while my enemies look on.  At this stage
I would suggest rereading Isaiah 53, it makes a lot more sense in
the context of my temporary death.  Like I said, I’d rather
not be relying on aliens, but what choice do I have?  I’m
dealing with the most bloodthirsty race of beings in the universe,
my murder is virtually inevitable.  This is bigger than Earth,
that’s not ego talking, it’s logic.  Judgement Day is not
something God normally has to do, the truth is the truth no matter
what planet you come from, and I’m the leader of the biggest
religion in the universe.  In order to learn what it means to
be God, God needed a race of beings that plays God to the extent
that they would destroy themselves.
I don’t like talking myself up, but I’m the prophet
.
This is as far as the human
race could go with God in complete control, it is also the earliest
that I could come to save you. The script for earth was written
perfectly.
 Look at the world, understand what it means
to be human. The human race is the worst God could do and yet have
us survive. This is bigger than Earth, this isn’t ego, I don’t have
an ego. Look at the world and understand that God is in complete
control, and that there is a reason for this place.  The
question is, “are they here?”  “Are they watching?”
 Because I could use a little help with this part of the plan.
 You have an opportunity to be a part of something great,
bloodthirsty savages or not, because this is my planet, and you are
my people.  God has compassion for the humans, He has
promised that He will not let you completely destroy yourselves,
but that doesn’t mean that it won’t get ugly.  Choose your
path.  Are you with me, or against me?  Are you with God,
or against Him?

A great sign
appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon
under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. She was
pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. Then
another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven
heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads. Its tail swept a
third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The
dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so
that it might devour her child the moment he was born. She gave
birth to a son, a male child, who “will rule all the nations with
an iron sceptre.” And her child was snatched up to God and to his
throne. The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for
her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days.

Then war broke
out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon,
and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong
enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was
hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who
leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his
angels with him.

Then I heard a
loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the
power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them
before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They triumphed
over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their
testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from
death. Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them!
But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down
to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time
is short.”

When the
dragon saw that he had been hurled to the earth, he pursued the
woman who had given birth to the male child. The woman was given
the two wings of a great eagle, so that she might fly to the place
prepared for her in the wilderness, where she would be taken care
of for a time, times and half a time, out of the serpent’s reach.
Then from his mouth the serpent spewed water like a river, to
overtake the woman and sweep her away with the torrent. But the
earth helped the woman by opening its mouth and swallowing the
river that the dragon had spewed out of his mouth. Then the dragon
was enraged at the woman and went off to wage war against the rest
of her offspring—those who keep God’s commands and hold fast their
testimony about Jesus.

[Revelations
12]

Chapter 12,
this is a bit of an aside.  It talks of my birth.  It
talks of me being taken care of “in heaven” for a time.  It
talks of the Devil being sent to earth, i.e. the triggering of the
apocalypse.  It also talks about people coming after my
mother, the world coming to her assistance, and then people coming
after my other siblings, please take care of them.

The dragon
stood on the shore of the sea. And I saw a beast coming out of the
sea. It had ten horns and seven heads, with ten crowns on its
horns, and on each head a blasphemous name. The beast I saw
resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth
like that of a lion. The dragon gave the beast his power and his
throne and great authority. One of the heads of the beast seemed to
have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The
whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast.
⁴ 
People worshiped the dragon
because he had given authority to the beast, and they also
worshiped the beast and asked, “Who is like the beast? Who can wage
war against it?”

The beast was
given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise
its authority for forty-two months. It opened its mouth to
blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and
those who live in heaven. It was given power to wage war against
God’s holy people and to conquer them. And it was given authority
over every tribe, people, language and nation. All inhabitants of
the earth will worship the beast—all whose names have not been
written in the Lamb’s book of life, the Lamb who was slain from the
creation of the world.

Whoever has
ears, let them hear. “If anyone is to go into captivity, into
captivity they will go. If anyone is to be killed
with the
sword, with the sword they will be killed.”

This calls for
patient endurance and faithfulness on the part of God’s people.

Then I saw a
second beast, coming out of the earth. It had two horns like a
lamb, but it spoke like a dragon. It exercised all the authority of
the first beast on its behalf, and made the earth and its
inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been
healed. And it performed great signs, even causing fire to come
down from heaven to the earth in full view of the people. Because
of the signs it was given power to perform on behalf of the first
beast, it deceived the inhabitants of the earth. It ordered them to
set up an image in honour of the beast who was wounded by the sword
and yet lived. The second beast was given power to give breath to
the image of the first beast, so that the image could speak and
cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed. It also
forced all people, great and small, rich and poor, free and slave,
to receive a mark on their right hands or on their foreheads, so
that they could not buy or sell unless they had the mark, which is
the name of the beast or the number of its name.

This calls
for wisdom. Let the person who has insight calculate the number of
the beast, for it is the number of a man.
That number is
666.

[Revelations
13]

Chapter 13,
this is about the two beasts. I only transcribe this chapter
because a lot of people talk about “the Antichrist,” but according
to the Book of Revelations there are two beasts.  The first
beast comes from the sea, I think I know what this means, he has a
wound which is healed, I don’t know what this means, maybe an
assassination attempt?  The second beast comes from the land
and causes everyone to follow the first beast, I’m not sure on this
one either, it remains to be seen, but I think it may be two
successive leaders.  I could point fingers, but it’s not
really fair to accuse people of things they have not yet done.

Chapters
14-17, this is about the war of the two beasts, I won’t transcribe
this because I am unsure of the details.  It sounds nuclear to
me.

Chapter 18,
“Babylon the great” is destroyed.  In this chapter a mighty
angel takes a giant stone and hurls it into the sea and says “thus
with such violence Babylon will be thrown down,” it’s talking about
an asteroid.  This is the great flood, they say it’s
impossible to flood the world, but there is one way.  Not
everyone will die in the flood, it’s a targeted attack, but
naturally there will be some collateral damage.  I think that
once the war turns nuclear, God will end it Himself.  See also
Isaiah “in the day of great slaughter, when the towers fall,
streams of water will flow on every high mountain and every lofty
hill,” and “water will overflow your hiding place.”  See also
Jesus “as in the days of Noah, the people knew nothing until the
floods came and swept them all away, so it will be at the coming of
the Son of Man.”  Or Nostradamus if you like, “the great
mountain, seven stadia round, after peace, war, famine, flooding.
 It will spread far, drowning great countries, even
antiquities and their foundations.”  Look all you like, you
won’t see this asteroid coming, God will send it via the Sun, you
won’t know it’s coming until it’s here.