Julia London 4 Book Bundle (29 page)

“This house is not a barn, and I want those mongrels out of here!” Adrian growled. “Those bells are enough to drive a man out of his mind.”

“It is still too cold outdoors—”

“They are
dogs
, for God’s sake—”

And the bells let you know where they are at all times.”

“I don’t want to know where they are! Good God! Will you not
leave
?” he roared.

Max was positively cringing now; he cast pleading glances at her over his shoulder as he carefully eased Adrian up onto the first step of the great spiraling staircase, and the next.

Like an invalid.

Lilliana’s frown deepened. “Max, don’t you think he could climb the stairs by himself? There is a perfectly good railing he could hold—”

“Get
out!
” Adrian suddenly exploded, and clutched desperately at Max to keep from toppling over. “I will not abide this constant harassment! If you are not gone by morning, I shall send for the constable, do you hear me? Do us all an enormous favor and get
out!
”

Lilliana stilled. As accustomed as she was to his frequent railing, the rabid way in which he spoke stung her. Lord, how he hated her! Because she was the one person on this godforsaken estate who insisted that he at least
try
to live. Even as determined as she was in that, she was weary of the endless stream of scorn. Anger shuddered through her, and she moved quietly up the stairs, pausing on the step where he stood. “If you want me gone, Adrian, you will have to remove me yourself,” she said calmly. “That is, if you are man enough.”

The world seemed to stop for one bizarre moment. Adrian’s hazel eyes clouded with fury and, wrenching free of Max, he suddenly lunged for her. Lilliana easily sidestepped him, and he landed on Maude. The pup’s frightened yelp infuriated him, and he lunged again, crashing headlong into the wall. That caused him to explode in the vilest curse imaginable—she didn’t know the meaning of half the words he used, and cringed as Max quickly grabbed him.

“My lord, please!” the butler cried. “Have a care!” A footman came running to the foot of the stairs; two maids rushed into the foyer, clinging to each other as
they watched Adrian thrash about until Max had righted him. He cast an imploring look at Lilliana as Adrian took deep, ragged gulps of air. “Please, my lady,” he begged her, “
please!
Give him some peace!”

Somewhere below her, she could hear one of the maids moaning softly. Shaking her head with disgust, Lilliana continued up the stairs to where Polly was waiting, having witnessed the whole exchange and Adrian’s near topple. “Ah, my lady, his lordship … he needs your support now,” Polly pleaded.

Lilliana glared at her as she marched past. “You are right, Polly. He needs my support. He needs me to help him
live
, because the rest of you would allow him to waste away like some old fool!”

“Oh this house, this house,” Polly moaned as she hurried after her mistress. “Will it never see an end to the tragedy?”

“Honestly, Polly!” Lilliana snapped. “He is
blind
, not dead! I will not allow him or anyone else to think otherwise! It is truly beyond my comprehension how the lot of you can watch a man as magnificent as Adrian Spence shrivel up and die! Well, I won’t, and I don’t give a fig what any of you think about it!” she ranted, and stepped into her rooms, quickly ushering her dogs in before turning an enraged glare at Polly. “He is
drowning
in self-pity, can you not see that? I will not allow it!” she shouted.

Polly blinked down at her big hands, clasped tightly together. “Heaven help us, this family is cursed! First the girls, now
this!
” she wailed, and turning, rushed away from Lilliana.

Just grand. Now she had succeeded in alienating even Polly. Frustrated and weary from the emotional battering she was enduring, Lilliana slammed the door and restlessly began pacing. Why could they not see what he was doing? Why did they cater to his frailty? Or was it possible that she really
was
being destructive? Marvelous. Now she was second-guessing herself at every turn. But Dr. Mayton had said to make him live—he
had
to live! Indeed it was tragic that his sight was gone—but did that make him any less a man? Only if he allowed it, and it made her exceedingly angry that Adrian would not stand up to this adversity. Just where was the fearlessness, the reckless living?

Well,
she
would stand up to it. He could utterly despise her if he so chose, but she’d be damned if she would watch him sink and drown in his own terror. He would face it or she would die trying to make him!

Escape.
Oh God, to escape, if only for a time, for the space of a few hours. Lilliana abruptly left her rooms, marching past his door and down the stairs, ignoring the disapproving looks from the servants who had witnessed her challenge to him.
Damn
them! Yanking a cloak around her shoulders in the foyer, she marched outside after Hugo and Maude, heading for the stables at a near sprint.

When she reached the paddock, she was startled to see two strangers, one holding Thunder and the other speaking with Mr. Lewis. What on earth? Did Mr. Lewis think to allow these men to
ride
Thunder? Lilliana hurried across the paddock to him; Mr. Lewis paused the moment he saw her and quickly bowed. “Good afternoon, Lady Albright.”

“Mr. Lewis? What is going on here?” she asked curtly, glancing warily at the man to whom the steward was speaking.

“He’s come for the stallion, my lady. His lordship has sold him.”

Lilliana almost choked. Oh no. No, no, no. He
wouldn’t!
He could not give up so easily! “What do you mean?” she demanded.

Mr. Lewis glanced sheepishly at the stranger. “Lord Albright has sold—”

“No!” she shrieked, and whirled around, grabbing the reins from the man who held Thunder and startling him badly. “That is impossible, Mr. Lewis! I forbid it!”

Mr. Lewis’s eyes grew wide, and he took a careful
step forward. “But my lady,” he whispered loudly, “his lordship has an agreement—”

“No! No agreement, Mr. Lewis! He will not sell Thunder!” she cried, and yanked at the reins, pulling Thunder around. Mr. Lewis moved to take them from her, but Lilliana quickly pulled Thunder back farther, jerking the bridle hard when he pulled in protest. The three men exchanged glances and, as one, began to move toward her. Hysteria bubbled in Lilliana. Her heart beat wildly with fear, but she would die before she would allow them to take Thunder. Adrian held the horse dearer than everything else, and without him, he would truly wither away, she was
certain
of it. So certain, she wets prepared to fight. Except that her heart had climbed to her throat in sheer terror, threatening to choke her senseless.

“Lady Albright!”
Mr. Lewis warned, as if talking to a child.

“No! You cannot sell this horse!” she shrieked hysterically. “And if you think to take him from me, you will have to kill me to do it!”

That stunned the three men into silence. A moment passed; the taller of the two gentlemen shifted his gaze to Mr. Lewis. “Perhaps there has been a misunderstanding,” he said gently.

“No!” Mr. Lewis said hastily. “You must forgive her ladyship, sir. She is … well naturally, she is distraught at what has happened, but Lord Albright was quite clear—”

“Not!”
Lilliana screamed.

The two men started backing away. “I suggest that you verify Lord Albright’s intentions, sir,” one muttered, and the two turned on their heels, walking quickly from the paddock and slapping at the noses of the dogs as they attempted to greet them.

Lilliana gulped as Mr. Lewis turned slowly to look at her. “What have you done, my lady?” he muttered hopelessly.

With that, her fear gave way to fury. Was the entire
world as
blind as Adrian? Her brows snapped into a frown; she thrust the reins at a groom who was gaping at her. “Have him saddled,” she said icily. “Thunder and I are going for a ride.” She glanced at Mr. Lewis, her eyes narrowing dangerously as her gaze sliced across him. “Please listen carefully, sir. I will not—under
any
circumstance—allow that horse to be sold. My husband will ride again. Do you quite understand me? He will ride that horse again!”

It was quite clear he did not understand, and disgusted, Lilliana marched into the stables. She didn’t give a damn if Mr. Lewis understood her or not. Adrian would sell Thunder over her dead body.

     
A
DRIAN KNEW SOMETHING
was wrong. He could hear the frantic conversation down the corridor, could tell by the muffled tone of Max’s voice that he was distressed. The sound of doors banging and bells tinkling further testified to some little bickering, but as long as they left him alone, he could not have cared less. Sitting in front of the fire in what he thought was the gold salon, he did not need or want their attentions.

Was it really a gold salon? Honestly, he couldn’t recall anything but vague details about the room. The chair he was sitting in, for example, he knew to be embroidered. But with what design, he couldn’t say. He knew his grandfather’s ornate clock stood on the mantel, but he had no idea if it kept time. There were so many things, so many
little
things he had never really noticed. Little things that he would give his life to see again.

Resting his head against the chair, he closed his eyes. As loath as he was to admit it, he would give his life to see
her
again.

The bickering filtered into his consciousness again; he sighed wearily when the door of the salon opened. “What now, Max?”

“Not Max. Me!”

Adrian groaned and rolled his head from one side to the other on the back of the chair. Marvelous. And the little demon was not alone, apparently, judging by the sound of those intolerable bells and the distinct panting of dogs. “Get those beasts out of here!” he warned her, angrily swiping his arm into black space, hoping to punch at least one of them in the nose.

“Here, pups, go find Max so that I might have a word alone with your papa.”

Adrian scowled at that. The Princess of the Grange apparently had come to torment him again, starting with her annoying habit of speaking to those beasts as if they were human. God in heaven, when would she take her opportunity and
leave
him? He listened to her usher the two beasts out the door, and when it closed, he warily cocked his head to one side, confused as to whether he was alone or not.

But the rustling of her skirt and the whiff of her perfume as she sailed past assured him he was not alone. “Now what?” he asked testily.

“Would you like a brandy? Or perhaps a whiskey? I confess in the time we’ve been married, I have never known your preference,” she said from somewhere near the sideboard.

“I don’t want anything but for you to go,” he growled, ignoring the little voice in him that disagreed.

“You don’t want anything but to waste away like some old man!
Damn
you, Adrian!”

That surprised him. For the last weeks, she had been unerringly cheerful in her responses to his innumerable attempts to make her leave. He could sense her anger, could sense her pacing in front of the hearth. “What concern is it of yours if I do?” he responded evenly. “I know you are too thick to grasp this simple concept, but I don’t want you here.”

“Hush,”
she said, her voice threatening. “I am sick unto death of your pathetic attempts to make me leave you.”

“If that is so, madam, then you can ease yourself quite readily by leaving.”

“I don’t care how vile you are, I won’t leave you,” she said, and he imagined a pert toss of her head. “Nor will I allow you to dispose of the few things you hold dear in a fit of self-pity.”

Self-pity? Adrian snorted contemptuously. Did she think blindness was something a man could easily take in stride? “You know nothing.”

“I refused to let Lewis sell Thunder.”

Instantly, a shot of anger rifled through him and Adrian sat up. “You did
what
?”

“I sent those men away, and then I rode Thunder until he was laboring to breathe,” she blithely announced.

Fury rapidly uncoiled in Adrian’s chest—the little demon was treading on dangerous ground. “
Jesus
, Lilliana!” he bellowed. “You have no right to countermand me! Regardless of how feeble or infirm you may think me,
I
am the lord of this estate, and you will not contradict me!”

“If you are lord of this estate, then act like it,” she responded calmly.

Livid, Adrian gripped the arms of his chair. If he could see her, if he could get his hands on her …

“Thunder has not been ridden in weeks and he was desperate to be given his head. Before you launch yourself from that chair, let me assure you he is quite content at the moment. As for those men, well, I could not let you send away the only thing you love because of some silly notion—”

“Look at me, Liliiana!” he roared. “
Look
at me! I am
blind!
I cannot ride that stallion any longer—surely even
you
can comprehend that!”

The rustling of her skirts and the sound of her falling to her knees in front of him startled him. He flinched when she put her hands on his knees and instantly pushed back into the chair in a futile effort to get away from her touch.

“Oh Adrian,” she moaned sorrowfully. “You can’t ride him the way you did, but you can still
ride!
Don’t you see what you are doing? You are giving up, surrendering to this tragedy and allowing it to drain you of all will to live! I can’t sit idly by while you allow this sorrow to swallow you whole,” she said, gasping on a sob in her throat. “I don’t
care
that you despise me! I will fight you until you realize you are no less a man for your infirmity! You can
live
, Adrian, as you did before, and there is nothing to stop you but your fear!” She made a soulful sound that gripped his heart. “Perhaps you can’t see the sun, but you can still
feel
it fall down around you and know it is there. It’s still there, don’t you know? The sun is still there!” Another sob escaped her throat, and she buried her face on his knees.