July (The Year of The Change Book 1) (17 page)

Jimmy turned me around. “You had us all worried. Where’d you go?”

My head spun as I took in all that happened in what could only have been three minutes. I would never get used to this kind of attention. Maybe by the end of the year, then it would be too late.

Rob came and stood behind me. His proximity made my scalp feel like ants were crawling all over it. I shifted my position and pulled the twins with me, so I could keep an eye on him. He said nothing, so I turned to Jimmy.

“I’m sorry I scared ya’ll.”
What an overreaction!
“When I first dive into a pool I always swim underwater to the other end.” I pointed to the reeds and they all looked. “It’s just the way I stretch my muscles and lungs.”

“Lungs? I would have guessed gills.” Jimmy pushed my shoulder. “You were under at least five minutes.”

“No.” I shook my head. “It was nowhere near five minutes.

Rob stepped closer. “Nah, it was more like fifteen.” He insisted.

Now, that was pure exaggeration. I was about to disagree, again, when Tim nodded up at me and tapped his watch. This couldn’t be happening. I’ve got really good breath control, but no way was I that good. It must be The Change. Now, how do I divert the conversation?

The twins hugged me tighter. They were really scared I could’ve drowned? What a ridiculous idea.

“I really am sorry.” Because they were so upset, I kept the snide comments that popped into my head to myself.

Bandit barked and wagged his tail, insisting I pet him.

Jimmy slumped to the dock shaking his head. “This isn’t a pool, Sylv. We couldn’t see you.” He looked a little pale.

I hated that I’d worried him so. The water was very murky and there probably wasn’t visibility past a foot down. I hadn’t considered what they could or couldn’t see. I didn’t mean to scare them.

I lowered my head and blushed. “I’m sorry, Jimmy. I promise to tell you next time. Forgive me?” I tilted my head and hoped he wouldn’t be mad.

His lips pulled up on one side. “Yeah, we forgive ya … don’t we, Rob?” He looked past me where his friend stood sullen.

Rob stared at the side of my scarlet face. He came around and met my gaze for a moment. A myriad of emotions warred on his hard features. He breathed in deep and took a step to me. My feet were nailed to the spot with fear. He slid his arms around and gently hugged. It was surprising how tender it was. If I hadn’t been so afraid of him I might’ve had trouble resisting. I knew all too well how gentle could turn into something else very quickly. Rob pulled me closer. I braced my hands on his rock hard biceps. My fears of having to fight him off rose fast and screamed a warning. I tensed, dreading what I might have to do. Dad and Donny had taught me that a knee to the groin and a finger to the eye could do wonders.

As he pulled my head to his chest my nose almost touched his tattoo. It was a fleur-de-lis over his heart. I wondered why he chose
that
to put
there
. I placed my hands on his upper arms and pushed some space between us. Of all the guys here, he could do the most damage.

Cameron put his hands on the dock and pulled himself up. “Hey! How come he gets to hug her and we don’t?”

Jimmy pushed Cameron back into the water. “Because Rob’s not a jerk.” He seemed to think nothing of his friend holding me. I wondered what he would think if he had to pull Rob off of me.

Too scared to move and too terrified not to, I was welded in place … again.

A bleating at our feet made us both look down and broke the trance. Bless that sweet little lamb. Mary had wedged herself between us and looked up as though to ask ‘what’s going on here?’ Bandit growled and I wasn’t sure if he was growling at Rob or Mary. I didn't care. This was the distraction I needed.

I forced a chuckle out as we looked at each other. Rob’s expression was blank, almost too calm, like he was hiding all his feelings. My blush returned and I moved a couple of steps from him. He dropped his hands and looked away. He was back to his frowning, angry face.

Mary stayed at my feet, and just so I didn’t forget she was there, she got my attention. It splashed over my skin and oozed warm between my toes and dripped from the slats. All I could think of was Clorox.

Jimmy laughed and pointed to the puddle around my foot. He thought this whole thing was so very funny. At that moment I’d have liked to
funny
him right into the water.

The laughter rippled in the still air. I shook my foot before I limped to the edge of the dock, as far away from the boys in the water as I could, to soak my toes. The boys swam over and Rob shadowed my every move. They were closing in and claustrophobia bloomed. The idea of living on a deserted island niggled at the back of my mind.

Jimmy’s expression went from humor to thoughtful as he watched everyone revolve around me, everyone except the twins, who only mildly watched my annoyance. They were happily swimming, off by themselves. Jimmy watched as I sat and dangled my feet in the water. He observed as the three in the pond clustered around eager to help so they could touch me. He scratched his chin as Rob, who sat too closely, splashed the annoying boys when they reached for my feet. My cousin continued to watch my irritation rise as I dodged those in the water and tried to move away from Rob, who stuck like glue. The whole while he didn’t say anything, he just watched … no help to me, whatsoever.

Aunt Betty got me into this. She’d better get me out of it. Or maybe she planned it this way?

I stuffed the lamb between Rob and me. Rob didn’t like the distance. It was a good thing Cameron and his buddies kept him busy so he couldn’t do anything about it. All I wanted to do was swim. Would this day ever be over?

Even though foot and toes had been swooshed enough, I still dreamed of Clorox. Tired of the guppies, I wanted to swim with my siblings, who were across the pond playing tag. I leapt up and dove over the boys and swam to the twins. Bandit followed. Mary stayed on the dock bleating, too afraid to go in the water.

I reached Tim and announced. “I’m it!”

Bandit dog paddled behind me.

Tim dove under the water and disappeared, so I went after Tam who squealed and tried to swim away. I tagged her foot and swam the other direction.

The boys wanted to play and begged Tam to tag them. I watched as they clustered around her, stealing glances at me. Not waiting to find out what they had planned I ducked under the water and swam to another location. Surfacing, just enough to see the boys, who looked for me, I treaded water. They were so out of their league.

Tam used their distraction and tagged Jimmy. “You’re it! No touch backs!” She swam away giggling.

The boys now clustered around Jimmy. Cameron spotted me. My cousin tried to dodge the others. They wouldn’t let him by. Cameron moved in on him and declared Jimmy had tagged him so he was it. He twisted around and targeted himself in my direction.

Time to hide. Easy peasy, I just submerged and swam another way. I knew none of those Sunday swimmers would ever catch me. When I came up, the boys were fighting over who was it. Tim and Tam watched to one side. Submerged, I swam to my siblings. They were a lot more fun than Cameron and his buddies.

I came up behind and whispered ominously in their ears. “I’m it.”

They took off. With one stroke I tagged Tim who immediately tagged Tam.

She turned to chase me, but stopped wide eyed. “Look out, Sylv!”

A glance behind was all the time I got to see the school of boys swimming in my direction. Rob was in the lead. My stomach flip flopped and hid behind my quaking spine.

I glanced back at Tam. “I’ll see you at the house!”

Diving under so deep I touched the slimy bottom, I waited to see where they would go. The turbulence in the water as I swam under the boys let me know they were going the other way. My only thought was escape. I wanted to escape this long day. I wanted to escape being here at
her
house and escape the move to Alaska. I knew I was asking too much and settled for escaping the boys.

The shallow area came up quick. I didn’t break the surface until the dock moorings brushed my arm. Gathering my courage I stood and stepped quickly onto the pier where I slipped into my sandals and grabbed my shirt and towel. I didn't stop to dry them off so my wet feet slid around in the flip-flops. With only a glance back to make sure the twins were okay I took off running up the trail, confident Jimmy would take care of his young cousins. Afraid of getting lost, I followed the dirt path to the top of a hillock with the hope I was going the right direction. In the distance, I saw the house sitting where it should be, like a much needed fort in an attack. I relaxed a little and found my stride.

Running up and down the uneven fields felt natural to me. I’d considered joining the cross country team in Oklahoma. I’d waffled about it for a whole year, unsure if it was something I would enjoy. This felt right. I liked pitting myself against the run. I liked seeing what I could do physically. Alaska probably wouldn’t have a cross country team. Here was something else I would miss out on. Homesickness washed over me.

One of my sandals flew off and I lost my stride. I stopped long enough to retrieve the errant shoe and put it on. I wouldn’t let the dirt trapped to my wet foot slow me down even though it was uncomfortable. Back down the path, there wasn’t anyone on the little bit of trail I could see.

Somewhere in the distance, howls rose and fell like a tide. It wasn’t Bandit. Those howls were mournful. A wild pack of dogs could be almost as bad as a pack of boys. No use taking any chances. Firmly shod, I took off in a sprint not wanting to be caught loafing.

The first gate came into view and I was comfortable with the speed I’d eased into. Instead of stopping to open it I leapt up on it and jumped over. I hit the ground running.

If it hadn’t been for a sorrowful bleating I would’ve kept on going. The lamb butted the gate between bleats. She was going to hurt herself.

Where did Mary come from? She wasn’t behind me earlier, was she? The thought of leaving her there, where the others would find her, made my heart protest. I trotted back and tried with some real effort to lift her over the gate. No way was I strong enough. Carefully I opened the gate and latched it tight after Mary happily trotted through. Rob had made lifting her look so easy. He must be even stronger than I imagined. That was actually a very scary thought. And to think he had his arms around me. A shiver raced up my spine. With Mary safely on this side of the fence I took off running with her shadowing close behind.

At the second gate, I lifted her, with a grunt, into my arms and climbed over. We almost toppled. I just couldn’t bring myself to leave her behind despite the fact she was slowing me down. I wanted to protect her as I wished I were. She deserved the protection because she was so helpless. No one should have to go through this life without her mom.

There was one more gate and we would be in the brown yard with the walnut tree. At this gate, I unlatched the rickety wood planks and we walked through. It didn't look like it was strong enough to hold our combined weight. Besides, Mary was heavier than she looked. Think pillowcase full of rocks. As I bolted the gate, I saw the others walk up the far hillock. I’d hoped they would stay and swim so Tim and Tam could have some fun. At least the twins were with Jimmy and Rob, so they were safe. A sigh of relief huffed out as I caught my breath. Would the twins ever forgive me for all the stuff they’ve had to miss out on? Not to mention all the stuff they
would
yet miss out on. Oh, well. It’s only a year, right?

I knew better than to go to the pond. Worse yet, I knew better than to stay at the pond when I saw the three boys. When would I stop taking chances and just stay in a locked closet? Okay, so my dad would be disappointed in me. He would get over it … eventually … someday. If I did stay in a locked closet, then as a minimum I wouldn’t see what I was missing out on. I could pretend nothing was going on outside my dark little cell. There would be no one to meet and fall in love with. I could read lots of books and eat all day long.

Kidding myself had become a hobby. Since I’m claustrophobic, the closet was out, and I would’ve had to leave the cramped space anyway to go get more books. I couldn't win.

Back home in Oklahoma, I could’ve stayed in my comfortable room, not venturing out at all. It would be the pits not to breathe fresh air and feel the wind blow in my face. I would’ve been at home, even if it hadn’t been the greatest situation.

After a rather embarrassing incident on the bus, Dad talked to me about home schooling. He extolled the benefits, trying hard to convince me I would like it. Sue had looked downright horrified when Dad tried the same tactic on her at dinner that night. Sue and I have never gotten along very well, so the idea of us spending more time together didn't go over like he’d planned. If he’d decreed it, we would’ve made it work. Thank goodness, he could see trying to push a square peg into a triangular hole wouldn’t work. After a very tense dinner he dropped the discussion altogether, mumbling something about women being unreasonable. I was so glad he didn’t push it.

The sun, almost directly overhead, warmed my face. It was doubtful I could go very long without seeing the sun. Being outside, where I was the happiest, made The Change harder. Being inside because of The Change made me unhappy. The move to Alaska didn't help either way.

I reached the side door of the house and hesitated before going in. I didn’t want to explain why I was back without the others. A change of clothes and something to eat at this point were must-haves. My stomach screamed at me. Physical activity without food reward always made my stomach testy.

The adults, in the living room, had photo albums spread out on the coffee table. They looked up as I entered. Dad frowned and narrowed his eyes as though I’d tracked mud in or something. A bleat drew my attention. The lamb had followed me inside. She’d been so quiet while I was deep in thought I’d forgotten her.

“I’m sorry.” Bending down I took a handful of fleece to guide her back outside. Not that Mary wouldn’t have followed me out, but I wasn’t going to take a chance she might dillydally and leave a puddle.

I was tugging on Mary when
she
spoke up. “There’s a pen behind the garage.”

“Okay.” Of course she would want to pen Mary up. I wondered what other cruel things she wanted to do.

Before I got very far,
she
spoke again. “There’s fruit on the counter if you want some.”

My stomach was so grateful it made me reply, although, I kept my voice level. “Thank you, Aunt Betty.” Too cozy for me. It was probably still too formal for Dad, who couldn’t complain that I wasn’t respectful.

Before going quickly out the side door, I snagged an apple and an orange. The lamb didn’t piddle in the house, to my relief. Mary stuck so close I didn’t have to worry about her running away.

The pen was right where
she
said it would be. There wasn’t much to it, just a gate, two walls of chain link fencing and a dirt floor with the garage making the fourth wall. The shade of a small apple tree spread out over the enclosure and an old pan for water sat in the corner. The gate creaked as I opened it and picked up the beaten old dish. I went to a nearby faucet and filled it. Mary eagerly drank when I placed it back in the corner of the pen. I went out and shut the door. She looked up at me with accusing eyes and came to the gate, bleating. I stuck my fingers through the fence to scratch her head and she nuzzled the chain link trying to get to me. My stomach grumbled that it wanted to go eat the fruit in the shade of the deck. I wanted to go change my clothes. Then again, I couldn’t bring myself to leave Mary here all alone. My stomach huffed when I finally gave up and went back in the pen.

When Jimmy and the others returned, this is where they would find me, sitting against the garage with the lamb curled up beside me. We will look asleep with my head back and our eyes closed. Maybe, if I’m very still, they’ll leave me alone. If there were a padlock I could’ve kept everyone out. Maybe they would bring food, like in the zoo.
She
could set up a vending machine and make some money. Affected boys could throw candy bars to me. My stomach had hijacked my fantasy.

They didn’t find us at first, though. I heard them as they went to the house, then came around back looking for me. Their voices came closer. I didn’t move. Relaxed, at last, I really didn’t want to deal with anyone right then. I heard stifled snickers. No need to open my eyes, I knew they were all staring at me. Bandit whined and dug at the gate, he wanted to get in.

Jimmy cleared his throat. “Comfortable?”

“Mmm.” I still didn’t want to move.

Tam spoke up. “Aunt Betty said she has lunch ready and we can eat outside.”

There was a picnic table on the west side of the deck where it would be comfortable for all of us. My stomach rumbled. Slowly, I forced my eyes open. Rob stood in the back and looked away quickly when our eyes met. I noticed his tattoo peeking out of his muscle shirt. Jimmy opened the pen door and offered his hand. Gratefully, I took it, still tired after my long run.

We went around to the deck where
she
and Sue were putting out sandwiches and chips. The boys walked on either side of me, too close to be at ease. Jimmy was friendly and smiling while waving to his grandmother. Rob, solemn and brooding, walked as though he wanted to put an arm around me-- the same arm he kept lifting, then dropping to his side. He had to be affected, and I was grateful for his effort.

She
put a six pack of cold soda on the table and watched us approach. Sue went in and brought out a bowl of fruit and two boxes of snack cakes.

When my stomach roared for the third time, Jimmy and Rob simultaneously turned to me with a snicker. Blushing, I kept my eyes forward, pretending the awful sound hadn’t come from me. I didn’t fool anyone.

"Wow, Gramma, that's a lot of food. This is enough for Rob and me. What are my cousins going to eat?"

"You'll just have to share."
She
smiled and I looked away.

The twins dashed ahead and couldn’t wait to tell what happened at the pond. Since I couldn’t stop them, I endured the story, steeling myself for the merriment that would be at my expense.

Dad came out in time to hear the story. He cringed when Tam told about the three boys. I hadn't handled them very well and Dad was probably disappointed in me. He didn’t laugh at all when everyone else was rolling with it. With the story done and before the laughter died down, he went inside without a word. He was mad at me. Not chewing me out in front of everyone was a plus. I was thankful for that.

The rest of the adults left us to our feast and we dug in.

The food didn’t last long. All the others had their fill. Of course, I didn’t. I’d held back making sure there was enough for everyone. Even so, the boys were surprised at how much I ate.

Tim piped up with big eyes. “You haven’t seen anything yet. Sylv can out eat everybody. Ow!” He looked at me with a frown, knowing I was the one who kicked him under the table.

I couldn’t really blame him for telling my secret because it had been easier to relax here since
she
knew everything. Still … Sigh … It was so embarrassing.

Jimmy smirked. “As fast as you ran, I’m surprised you didn’t eat the table and chairs, too.”

I threw an empty snack cake box at him. “Very funny.”

To my utter surprise Rob, shaking with silent laughter, smiled so wide his white teeth showed. He had great teeth.

Jimmy noticed, also. “What’s so funny, Rob?”

Between chuckles Rob explained. “It was so funny …” He snorted just like a pig. “When Mary …” His shoulders bounced. “…peed on your foot …” Hearty laughter, like I’d never seen before turned his cheeks red. “… The look on your face!” He snorted multiple times.

I wasn’t sure if the others laughed because of the memory, or from watching Rob crack up trying to retell it. I wasn’t amused, either way. Nonetheless, I was struck dumb watching Rob. I couldn't come up with a retort, or even get mad at him. He was so different when he smiled, so very handsome when he didn’t frown. With his beautiful smile and gay face, he wasn't scary at all. I liked him this way. I swallowed hard, I liked him too much. The thought left me staring, worry panicking around my skull.

Rob looked into my face and abruptly cut his laughter. He looked down at his paper plate that had a few chips still scattered on it. I realized my mistake too late and looked away shoving the last cookie into my mouth. I was such a dork. Here he opened up and I embarrassed him. When would I ever learn?

I cleaned off the table while the others went to collect
her
mail. I decided I wouldn't venture far from the house without my bodyguard the rest of the day, plus I wanted to change my clothes.

When Mary tried to follow me into the house, I made her stay outside with Bandit. I knew she would stay at the door bleating until I returned, so I didn't put her in the pen.

With the trash thrown away, I looked around
her
neat kitchen hoping there might be something out I could eat. I could’ve survived until dinner, though, it wouldn’t have been comfortable.

She
came in and walked over to the cabinet by the fridge and opened it. Inside, crackers, cookies, chips, trail and party mix filled the three shelves. My mouth watered.

“Eat whatever you want.” She tapped the fridge. “You’re welcome to anything in here, too.”

The echo of Gram's voice washed over me.
I love my sister, Betty, with all my heart. Always have and always will.
Gram loved
her
even with all the hurt
she’d
done. I knew Gram wouldn’t be happy with how I’d treated her.

My anger weakened and guilt crept in to fill the space. I looked at her, determined to see Aunt Betty, not my grandmother. My stomach tightened and my eyes stung from the tears that wanted out. I refused to let my heart rule and gave my brain dominance. My stubborn heart would just have to accept her.

“Thank you, Aunt Betty.” It sounded sincere to me and I hoped she could hear it as well.

Next, I forced myself to look at her face and noticed that her eyes were green, not blue like Gram's. Other differences became evident when I really looked. Her face was more oval, and her nose longer and pointy, not like Gram at all. I held onto those differences as my heart battled with my brain.

My brain cataloged each difference so I would see her and only her. Maybe it was too much to expect to not see Gram ghosting through. I would try.

Aunt Betty smiled. “You’re welcome, Sylvia. If you need anything, just ask.” She patted me on the arm as she left the kitchen. She really was a nice person. She’d been nice to me even though I hadn't been nice to her.

After a deep breath, I let it out slowly. Subduing my heart wouldn't be easy, but I could do this. I got out a box of crackers and an open package of cookies and placed them on the counter. Hurriedly, I changed my clothes. On the way outside I went through the kitchen and scooped up my goodies.

Mary still bleated. It was best if I went outside so she would be quiet before someone made me put her back in the field where those big bully sheep would mistreat her.

I sat on the deck steps and had finished the crackers, when the others returned. I slipped the flattened box under me and held out the cookies when Tam sprinted up.

She took one, and instead of eating it she waved her arms up and down. “Guess who was at the post office?”

Amused at her ‘
I have a secret
’ expression, I shook my head and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

She grinned. “Cameron and his friends.” She took a bite while watching my reaction.

I rolled my eyes and was so glad I hadn’t gone. “Were they still obnoxious?”

Jimmy arrived behind Rob. “They were more obnoxious, actually.”

Holding the bag up, I offered the boys cookies. Tim was on his way into the house with his arms full of Aunt Betty’s huge wad of mail. He opened his mouth and I stuck a cookie in.

I giggled as I watched him struggle with the door knob. “That bad, huh?”

Rob opened the door and my little brother rushed in.

Tam finished her cookie. “They said they were going to come see you later.” She got another and grinned at me while she chewed.

I couldn’t help the sarcasm. “Oh,
goodie
.” Actually, I could’ve been nicer. But it was all their fault I didn’t get to swim, so I wasn’t up to being nice.

The boys seemed to appreciate the way I didn’t like Cameron and his friends.