July (The Year of The Change Book 1) (40 page)

After Destiny went home I slipped out the back door on the lie that I needed to stretch my legs. That wasn't so much a lie since I always needed to stretch my legs. The real lie was in the omission of information, such as, I was meeting with Drew, my hallucination.

He wasn't in the backyard and I hoped maybe I’d imagined him, after all. Walking around to the front I found him leaning against the garage with his hands in his pockets. I made eye contact, and then turned for the backyard, going slowly so he could catch up while I held the gate for him without looking too conspicuous.

There was a spot near one of the bushes where Sue couldn't spy on me from the kitchen. I leaned against the house.

Drew dropped his pack and slouched next to me. "
I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to come out
."

I pulled a sandwich and a bottle of water from my pocket. My well-fed stomach protested when I held them out to Drew. "You looked hungry."

"Yeah, thanks." He devoured the sandwich and chugged the water.

"What are you doing here?" I asked after he was done and leaned his head back.

"
Talking to you.
" Smart aleck.

"No, I mean what are you doing in Talkeetna? I thought you were going to Fairbanks."

"
I was going to Fairbanks, but decided to take a detour first so I could get to know you better.
"

"Me? Why me?" Stupid question.

"
Because you can see and talk to me while I'm in Phase."
He rolled his eyes.
"We could go and have so much fun together!
"

"Drew, I told you, I can't go places."

"
I know, I know but if I take you in Phase you could go anywhere you wanted. Just think of all the freedom you could enjoy.
" His eyes shined, darkly.

I did think of the freedom before I remembered how my stomach reacted the last time.

"It's tempting, it really is. But you can forget about it this year while I'm going through this family ... problem. I can't go into Phase with you."

He scowled. "
Why?
"

I frowned at him. "If you'll remember it’s because my stomach didn't react well last time."

He chuckled. "
Yeah, I remember.
"

I wondered how he could chuckle and look so mad at the same time.

"
But like I told you, everyone has it hard the first time. You get used to it
." He shrugged as though my blow up had been no big deal. Well, for him it wasn't, for me, it was downright scary.

"I can't do it this year. What's going on in my life is hard enough without adding my flipping out like I did."

"
That's another reason I'm here. What is going on in your life?"

"I can't talk about it so please don't ask."

"
Ah, come on, I told you my secret. You know all about me
."

I shook my head. "I can't."

"
It's not fair. All I know about you is that you eat a lot and you attract boys
."

I snorted. "That's more than you need to know."

He crossed his arms over his dirty coat and raised his brows. "
You know, I can get pretty persistent when I want to know something.
"

"What am I going to do with you?"

"
Tell me everything, of course.
"

"Drew, I can't ..."

"Sylvia, are you back here?" Richard came around the corner. What was he doing here? "There you are. I thought I heard you talking." He looked around. "Who were you talking to?" He turned back to me, curiosity shining on his face.

I moved away from Drew. "Oh, no one, just talking to myself."

He smirked. "You do that often?"

"No, just when I want someone to listen to me."

"
Who is this bozo? I don't like him, he's too big
."

I ignored Drew.

Richard dug in his pocket as he chuckled. "Yeah, ain't that the truth. I usually get the same effect when I talk to Destiny." He extracted a small envelope. "Here, Grandmother told me to bring this to you." The envelope held a tea bag. "She said for you to try it, she wants to know what you think."

Drew reached for the tea bag and I snatched it from Richard's hand. Drew laughed and Richard raised his brows.

"Thanks, and tell Emma thanks, too. I'll try it tonight."

I stared at Richard, willing him to go away before Drew did something I couldn't explain.

Richard stared back for a moment before he took in a deep breath. "Alright then ... I'll see you around."

"Bye!" Too quick, too loud. He's going to think I'm crazy.

"Bye." With an arched brow he turned and meandered around the corner to the side yard and the gate banged shut.

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and leaned against the house.

Drew ran to the corner and peeked around before returning. "
I thought he'd never leave.
"

"I wish you wouldn't do that." I shot him a glare. "And be nice, Richard's a good person."

"
You're not going to date him or anything, are you?
"

"Not this year and next year he won't want me."

"
Why not? ... To both things you said.
"

Sigh. I looked at my big feet. This thought was never pleasant.

"I'm not dating this year because of the affect I have on guys, and next year, they won't be affected which means I'll fade into the woodwork where no one will notice me."

Drew didn't have a snide remark so I looked up at him.

"
Well, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard. Any guy who wouldn't notice you would have to be blind.
"

I smiled despite his irritating demeanor. "Spoken like a truly affected guy."

"
I'm not affected.
"

"Yes you are. You're just too stubborn to admit it."

"
I'm not affected and I have really good eyesight.
"

"Is it that you like to argue, or are you so affected you can't help yourself?"

He opened his mouth, then huffed and closed it.

"Thank you for the compliment, though. I know it's just because of this weird thing I'm going through, all the same it's nice to hear, anyway."

He opened his mouth, and once again closed it, scowling deeper than usual. I watched as the gears in his head cranked away, but it seemed nothing satisfactory surfaced.

"
Can we change the subject?
"

"Yes, please."

He was silent a moment as he frowned at the sapling by his foot. "
I can't think of anything else to talk about.
"

I searched a moment. "You have to go to Fairbanks."

"
Why?"

"Because, you can't hang around my house all day."

He huffed. "
That's for sure, this place is really boring
."

I swatted at him, but missed, of course.

He chuckled at my sorry attempt. "
I guess I'll get a job since it looks like I'll be staying around for a while.
"

"No!"

"Yes."
He knew I couldn't make him go away.

"Why are you staying around, really? Is it so you can irritate the heck out of me?""

"
I told you, I want to spend time with you.
"

"Drew, this isn't a good year for that. Next year ... maybe ... hopefully ... things will be better.

In my head I tried to imagine what next year would bring. The fear was too big to see around.

"
You don't really know what's going to happen, do you?
" His condescending tone was maddening.

"Sure I do." I wasn't going to admit to him the big gaping hole in my knowledge.

"
You forget, I'm the guy who watches. You haven't a clue.
" He looked smug and I wanted to swat him again.

I shook my head and sniffed. "Everyone is different, according to my grandmother. It doesn't matter because you can't stick around."

His sneer widened. "
She doesn't know either, does she?
"

"She died two months ago."

"
I'm sorry, tough break.
"

"Yeah, well, so goes my life." I took a deep breath to steady myself. "Drew, go to Fairbanks. Things are tough enough. I don't need more complications."

"I could make things easier."

"No, Drew, you can't. Go to Fairbanks."

"I don't have to go anywhere unless I want to."
He pointed his finger at me.
"Unlike you."

"Drew, I don't want you here."

His mask dropped slightly and I saw the hurt I’d inflicted.

There wasn't time to apologize before Tim burst out the back door calling my name.

I turned my back on Tim and whispered, "Don't come back, Drew."

He shrugged.

"Coming, Tim!" Then I whispered. "Bye."

He slightly lifted his hand.

"Come on, Sylv, Mom wants you to gather your laundry before you wash up for dinner."

One last look at his frown and I followed Tim inside.

Why did I feel concern for Drew? He was an adult that had lived on his own since he was sixteen. He was irritating, pushy and way too angry to really enjoy his company. There was something about him that made me want to protect him. Such a ridiculous thought ... me, protect him? In many ways he was still just a little boy and he ... needed me? Worse yet, I’d been mean to him and the guilt gnawed at me.

This year had become too much and I’d definitely gone crazy. What I needed was food and maybe my sanity would return. That was what my stomach kept telling me as it urged me to the dining room table.

I couldn't afford these thoughts or to be nice to Drew, who I knew would make life harder than it already was. A part of me had already been sucked in. Maybe I should talk to my father and try to convince him Drew is real. There was an uphill battle that was already lost.

It was only eight when I entered my room to check my email. I was homesick and really hoped Donny had written. Maybe the other guys had, too.

Dial up was maddeningly slow. I put on a Three Dog Night record while I waited. I was half way through ‘Old Fashioned Love Song’ when my email started receiving. By the time I’d cleared my screen, the prizes were waiting in my in-box. Two emails from Donny and one from each of the other guys. I disconnected and settled in to savor each word. Now that I had word from home, the day had not been wasted. Not to mention Nebraska and Oregon, too. I would sleep better knowing I’d not been forgotten.

I came downstairs to strange voices in the living room. I’d learned the hard way one could never be too safe. And, yes, peeking around the corner at the bottom of the stairs was childish. Two men, seated in the living room, talked to Sue. The older man was definitely in charge. He and Sue were on the couch, head to head, going over the numbers for painting the monster. The younger man looked in his early twenties and bored. The two men looked enough alike that my guess was they were related.

Sue noticed my nose around the corner and introduced us. “Good morning, Sylvia. This is Larry Paulson and his son, Steve. They might be painting our house.”

I’d been right.

“Good morning.” I kept my distance. A nice breeze gently blew from the sitting room and out the living room windows.

Larry humored the introduction with a nod. Obviously, he didn’t feel I was worth his time. “Good morning.”

Steve, on the other hand, stood up and offered his hand as he walked towards me. “Good morning, Sylvia, it’s nice to meet you.” He was no longer bored.

Out of common courtesy, I took his eager hand. Common sense shook its head with a grimace. “It’s nice to meet you, too.” Warily, I glanced over at Sue who held back a grin. She wouldn’t be any help.

Steve turned his whole attention on me. I was ready to go. He seemed nice enough, but this wasn’t the year, and he wasn’t the guy. Without hesitation, I excused myself and went to the kitchen. I heard footsteps behind me and Larry called his son back to the living room.

In no time I finished off a bag of cereal and the rest of a gallon of milk. I added milk to Sue’s shopping list, snagged two apples and headed up to my room. I had more organizing do. When I neared the living room, I slipped around the banister and dashed up the stairs almost afraid Steve would be nipping at my heels.

Another worry had me eager to be safely in my room. Drew didn't show his face all morning. Nonetheless, I kept a vigilant eye peeled for him and couldn't see him from either of my windows.

I was worried about him, which was stupid, I know, but concern nagged at the back of my brain. I couldn't focus on anything, not even the one chapter of the novel I read and reread all morning.

It was lunch time when I went downstairs because my stomach wouldn’t shut up. Sue was re-reading the contract when I peeked into the living room.

“So, are they going to paint the house?”

She looked up a little distracted. “Uh …yes, they’re going to start Thursday. They think they can be done by Tuesday.”

“Wow, that’s quick.”

Dad and Sue had talked about how long it would be before the house could be painted. They’d figured it would be months to find a reputable company, start and then finish the entire exterior.

Sue looked a little skeptical. “Yes, too quick.” There was a crease on her forehead, even deeper than usual.

“You don’t sound happy about it.” I thought she would be thrilled to have the monster painted so soon.

“If Emma hadn’t suggested them, I probably would’ve looked for someone else. I’ve never heard of a trustworthy company being able to start so quickly.”

“At least it will be done soon.”

Sue had been so embarrassed by the house she didn’t use the front door for fear people would see her. “Yeah.” She was back to reading the contract.

After finishing a large lunch -- in other words, my usual -- I went to my room and forced myself to unpack my remaining suitcases. I put the empties behind a wall, under the eaves. All our suitcases were lined up neatly across the back of the space. If I’d been a little kid, it would’ve been a great place for a fort.

I wandered back to my closet, where all my clothes hung neatly on one rod. There was so much space all around them it made them look even fewer than they were. Sigh. Here they were, the last of my things embedded into this new world. There was no going back, no way out and nowhere to hide from this reality.

I wanted to cry.

Alone, where no one could hear me, I crawled into the space with the suitcases and let the tears fall. Alone in the dark I let all the sadness fall down the front of my t-shirt.

When I was empty of tears, I crawled out and went in search of Kleenex. With a fist full of tissues, I sat in my rocker and rocked as I blew and sniffled and blew some more. The fresh cool air that gently flowed into my domain soothed as I breathed in deep. Really, what was I crying about? I had a pretty awesome place to suffer through the next five months. It was practically empty with a bit of an echo. Still it did have possibilities.

Around two, Destiny came over and dragged me out of my room to get some fresh air. She took it on herself to cheer me up, and sympathized, because when she left Oregon she had a hard time not crying, too. She had her mother and grandmother to help her adjust to this new place. I had no one. Well, I had Destiny … for a while.

We paused on the porch. In the front yard, Sue talked to a short husky guy in bib-overalls. They were discussing the lawn. She wanted sod and the guy was trying to talk her into having him renovate the gardens as well. My bet was she wanted to take out the gardens all together. Sue didn’t like clutter and flowerbeds were clutter to her.

Destiny got a gleam in her eye. “You know what this renovation means, don’t you?”

I snorted. “Yeah, we won’t have the ugliest yard in town.” Sue wasn’t the only one embarrassed by the eyesore.

“Old man Tarketton has the ugliest yard in town. Grandmother has been trying to get him to do something about it for years. She even volunteered us to help.”

It was easy to imagine Emma dragging the whole family over to clean up someone's yard.

I didn’t say anything, so Destiny repeated herself “So, do you know what
this
means?”

I shook my head, wary of what Destiny would come up with. “Okay, what does
this
mean?”

Her eyes shot wide as she talked. “It means young sweaty guys with muscles.” She rocked back and forth, her eyebrows bounced and her smile was all teeth.

I hadn’t thought about that. My stomach tightened. This was not a good thing. What Destiny didn’t understand was that it also meant I would have to make myself scarce while they were here. I could either find somewhere to go or hole up in my room. I didn’t like either idea. I thought hiding in my room was over after we left the ship. I would have preferred to sit outside with Destiny and gawk. Not this year. Sigh. It didn’t matter that Dad had promised no more being cooped up. At least having more room this time would helped.

Destiny noticed my lack of enthusiasm. “Doesn’t it sound like fun? We can watch from my front porch.” She scrutinized my expression, hoping for more enthusiasm. "We can sip lemonade and flirt."

“Yeah, fun. But I won’t be able to. My parents don’t like me to do that.”

Destiny couldn’t understand being denied such a simple pleasure. She looked glum with me. She brightened with a grin. “We could watch from inside my house and they wouldn’t have to know.”

I cracked a smile, it was an idea. I wouldn’t affect anyone. Of course, I’d have to keep an eye on Richard. We could lock the door, I guess.

When Sue and the man were done, it had been decided we would get sod on the following Tuesday. Now I just had to figure out what I was going to do with myself. For eight grueling days there would be guys here to paint and sod. Maybe the library had some mysteries I hadn’t read. I stopped the thought short.

The look on my face must’ve alerted Destiny. “What’s the matter, Sylv?”

I looked at her. “Does this town have a library?”

She gave me a funny look. “Yeah, of course we do, why?”

I breathed. “Good, I’m about out of books to read. A trip there today or tomorrow would be great." I had to stock up for the male invasion.

She shrugged. “Why wait ‘til tomorrow?”

I liked the way she thought.