Just a Little Embrace (6 page)

And though I struggled to admit it out loud,
I missed Luke… even the grumpy, arrogant, stubborn Luke.

Even the Luke who
’d
called me
kid
, and
continued to treat me like one.

And e
ven the drunken Luke who’d professed his feelings for me.

I didn’t care which Luke I got anymore
, because
any Luke was better than none.

What I felt for him was unconditional.
There was nothing he could say
and nothing he could do to change the way my heart ached for him.

And now, with Derek’s arm around me, and his shoulder beneath my head, all I could do was wish that when I opened my eyes, Luke would be there—and everything I’d experienced in the past twenty-four hours would all just be a dream.

But when I opened my eyes, I was still walking
with
Derek.

And in that moment, I knew for sure, no one could ever live up to the
way I cared for Luke.

Sunday September 23
, 9pm

“I’m heading out,” Hannah said to her brother, brushing past me
, but
not before throwing an evil sneer
in my direction.

I sunk into the first cushion on their living room couch as Derek told
his sister to be back by curfew, which on a school night, was in exactly one hour.

She rolled her eyes and walked out the door,
slamming
it hard enough to communicate her dislike for
my friendship with Derek.

“Alright,” he said, sitting on the opposite side of the couch
and staring at his d
epressing
DVD collection
. “It looks like tonight’s flick is
either
Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters, or… yep. Ghostbusters.
” He turned back. “
Any suggestions?”

“Oh gee,” I teased. “And here I was hoping you’d have
Ghostbusters
.”

He smiled for a brief moment before
getting up
to start the DVD.
I tucked my feet up under
my legs
and
sunk a little further in the cushion
.
He returned to the other side of the couch, keeping a reasonable distance, but throwing me an occasional glance.

Halfway through the
flick, Derek
suggested a popcorn break
,
so
we paused the DVD
to make our mid-movie snack. But before we could retreat to the
kitchen
, he
met my stare and
scooted closer on the couch
to take
my hands.

“Julie,” he said
, “t
here’s something
…important that
I need to tell you.”

“Okay,” I said, looking at our cupped hands and back to him. “What’s up?”

“But before I do, I want you to know that
us
moving here to Oakland had nothing to do with you.”

“Obviously,” I said. “You didn’t know me until you moved in
—”

“And that’s
why we need to have this conversation
,” he said. “Because I
did
know you. But again, I didn’t move here
because
of you.
Coming here was all Hannah’s idea.
I didn’t know you were here until after the fact… but s
he wanted to see you
.”

I stared at him
open-mouthed, unsure of whether or not he was waiting on a response.

He took a deep breath and let go of my hands. “I have a
shoe
box of things in my room that
I think
will help me explain this a little
better. Do you mind if I…?”

“No, go,” I said, urging him to retrieve the box.

As I sat on the edge of the couch, I racked my brain for how I could’ve possibly known Derek and Hannah. I couldn’t remember them
from my past
, but something about
his
eyes and
her
mischievous grin seemed far too familiar.

A tap on the outside window interrupted my thoughts
.
I
glanced
up to see
Luke standing in the shadows on the other side of the glass
. Perched up on the ledge of the porch, he motioned for me to come closer. I shooed him away and turned back to my thoughts.

He tapped on the window again, this time harder
.
I
finally
got up, went across the room and opened the window.

“Go away
—”

“Listen to me, Julie,” Luke said. “You need to get out of here.
Now
.”

“Go away, Luke. I’m done with this
—”

“Dammit, Julie,
listen to me
—”

“I’m fine
—”

“
I just got off the phone with a friend over at the West Bridge PD
,
” Luke said
, irritated that I wouldn’t listen
. “
They’re
Milton
s
.
Derek and Hannah
Milton
.”

“Derek and Hannah
Jones
,” I corrected him.

“
They changed their last name
and left town
after
the trial to ward off the press
. It’s like they vanished off the map
,
until now,
” he said
, leaning closer to the window screen
so I’d hear the enunciation of each syllable.
“Derek and Hannah Milton. Son and daughter of Conan Milton
—”

“The man who murdered your parents,” Derek said behind me, setting a shoebox down on the end of the couch. “That’s what I’v
e been trying to tell you Julie—”

“
Back up
,” Luke interrupted
, pressing his finger against the screen
.

“Julie
,
please,” Derek begged
, stealing my attention from Luke
. “I don’t mean any harm.
Hannah just wanted to see it for herself. She wanted to see that you’d really moved here to Oakland and started over. She’s still having trouble coming to terms with what our father has done.
She needs closure.
”

I backed against the window, facing Derek
, and the realization of their likeness hit me full force.
His blue e
yes… he had his father’s same, round, ocean
blue eyes. And Hannah bore that
same nasty smirk her father had worn
in all the press photos… and in the mug shot taken after the murders.

The front door opened and Luke let himself in, taking an immediate stride across the room to put himself between Derek and myself.

“Derek,” Luke said, putting his hand out to keep
him
from taking another step closer
.
“I’m taking Julie with me now, and you
’re
going to stay right where you’re at, and you won’t ever come near her again
—”

“Please,” he said
. He looked past Luke and
leaned to the side to
me
e
t my stare.
“
Julie…
I’m so sorry. I know that words can never undo what my father did
, but I want you to know how terribly sorry I am.
But please… God, Julie
,
please
don’t mak
e me suffer for what he’s done.”

I took a step out from behind Luke, putting my hand on his arm to let him know I was okay.

“You’ve known,” I started
toward him
, “a
ll this time, you’ve known who I am, and you
couldn’t find just one moment to tell me who
you
are
?”

“I wanted to, but
—”

“But what?” I asked. “Your father murdered my parents. He put a gun to their heads, put a bullet through their skulls, and you think telling me that you’re sorry is going to make it better? His blood runs through your veins
, Derek
! His evil
courses
through your body, and you expect me to
accept your apology
? How do I know you weren’t planning on coming back in here and killing me yourself?”

“You don’t,” he said. “But you have to trust me
—”

“I don’t
!
I
don’t
have to trust you
!
”

“Julie,” he begged. “I swear…
I never wan
ted to hurt you.
”

“That makes one of us.
” Hannah
’s voice came from the back of the room.

None of us
had
heard her come in, and when I turned to meet her stare, my heart sank to my stomach.

Hannah stood in the doorframe between the kitchen and living room, her eyes never leaving mine. And as she took a step forward to command the room, she lifted a handgun in the air and pointed it directly at
my face.

Chapter Seven

Sunday September 23

“
Hannah
, no!”
Derek
yelled.
“Put th
e
gun down
—”

“Not until she’s dead,” Hannah said
, eerily calm
. “Not until I finish what Daddy started
—”

“Hannah!” Derek screamed. “Don’t talk like that.”

Luke
pulled me back slowly, shielding my body with his. He took a step backward, lighting forcing me
against the far wall, and covering me completely from Hannah’s aim.

My body shivered behind
his
, and I could feel him ge
ntly pressing himself against me
to assure me
that I was safe
. He reached back and took my hand, squeezing my fingers for
a brief moment before letting g
o.

“Han
nah,” Luke said, stepping forward an inch.

“Stay back,” she yelled, waving the gun higher.

“Hannah,” Luke continued. “You don’t want to d
o this. Please put the gun down—”

“
L
isten to him,” Derek pleaded with his sister.

“Stop it!” she yelled at both of the men, taking a step to the side to get a better view of me. “You,”
she said, still aiming the gun, “s
tep out here. I want to see your face when I kill you
—”

“Hannah,” Derek said. “She’s an innocent girl. She’s a victim, just like us. She had nothing to do with what happened
—”

“She’s his daughter,”
she
said, tears streaming down her face. “I was born without a father because of what
he
did
—”

“He was doing his
job,” Derek argued. “You know D
ad was messed up, Han
—”

“I had to live my entire life with
my father
behind bars,” she said, meeting my stare. “So
you’re
not a victim.
You had your dad
.”

“H
a
nnah,” I said, stepping out from behind Luke. He reached out to pull me back and I stopp
ed his hand. “This is my fight—”

“You hated him for not protecting your mother,” Luke said. “I’m not going to let you hate me for not protecting you
—”

“I’m ok
ay,” I said, turning back to her
.

Even with the weapon still aimed in my direction, I was surprisingly composed. I saw the pain in her eyes, but pain didn’t equate to violence
.
Part of me had trouble believing Hannah had it in her to harm another human being. But when I considered that Dad had thought the same thing about
her
father, I felt my heart sink a little.

“Hannah, plea
se put the gun down. We have
much more in common than you might actually believe, and I really think it would do us some good to talk this out
—”