Just a Little Hope (20 page)

****

Tori pressed her foot to the brake, knowing she needed to slow down and drive more carefully while in her current state. Tears poured down her face, making it even more difficult to see the traffic in front of her. It didn't help it had started to rain harder and dusk was encroaching on the evening.

“Why? Why would he think it would be okay to keep it from me?”

She rubbed her eyes with the palm of her hand, desperate to keep her tears at bay. It was a fruitless endeavor. Every time she felt like she had a hold on her emotions, she'd remember Dani's words…
“I wouldn't say cancer was nothing, bro…”
Over and over the phrase repeated in her mind. Carter had been a victim of that horrible disease. Not only could cancer take her dad, it had now, in a different way, taken Carter from her too.

Tori took the familiar exit and coasted into the parking lot in record time. Bounding out of her car, she left her umbrella in the front seat, not caring if she got soaked or not. She climbed the stairs and pounded on the door, hoping against hope her friend would answer.

The door swung open, and Tori wilted on Pax, tears flowing as strong as ever.

“Oh, Pax. Oh, Pax. I don't know what I'm going to do.”

Pax didn't say a word, only hugged her tight and patted her on the back saying soothing words of comfort in her ear. After a few minutes, she pulled Tori into her apartment.

“You're soaked to the skin, sweetie. Come with me.”

Tori followed her friend down the hall and into her bedroom. She stood in silence as she watched Pax rifle through her chest of drawers until she found a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. She pulled a towel out of the linen closet next to the bathroom and stuffed all three items into Tori's hands.

“Go in there, and dry yourself off. Take a shower if you need to, and then come back out. I'll have some hot tea waiting.”

Tori didn't move until Pax left the room, pulling the door behind her. Then she walked toward the bathroom, sat on the side of the bathtub and sobbed.

****

Fifteen minutes later, Tori walked into the kitchen, her hair still damp from her shower. “Hey.”

Pax spun around at the sound of her voice and smiled. “You startled me. You feeling better?”

“Some. Thanks for letting me come in and cry all over you.”

“No problem, hon. That's what friends are for, right?”

Pax put a cup of sugar on a tray that already held two mugs, a ceramic white teapot, and some cream. “Let's go sit in the living room and chat.”

Tori dutifully followed and sat next to her friend on the overstuffed couch. Pax handed her a steaming mug of tea. Tori added the cream and sugar and took a small sip. The warmth of the concoction filled her, and she relished its comforting sensation.

“What happened? Why were you beside yourself earlier?”

“Did you and Seb know Carter had cancer as a kid?”

Pax set her mug of tea on the tray, a shocked expression marring her features.

“What?”

“Carter had some kind of renal cancer when he was a little boy. They had to remove one of his kidneys as a result. You didn't know about it?”

“No. I had no idea. Did he tell you this today?”

“No. Not really. His sister, Dani, did.”

“His sister? Where did you see her?”

Tori took another sip of the warm brew and settled back on the couch. “She was waiting outside his apartment door this afternoon after the game. He had no idea she was coming. Remember how I mentioned after our first date he acted kind of strange when I asked about his family?”

Pax nodded in response.

“Well, apparently he and Dani have a strained relationship. She holds some kind of grudge against him for what happened in their childhood. I guess because his parents gave him special attention when he was sick. Dani's so jealous of Carter, and I think she acts out to get attention.” She placed the mug on the coffee table and ran her fingers through her hair. “It was sad, Pax. Dani's face was haggard. And her eyes… they had no life in them at all. I don't know, maybe she uses drugs or drinks a lot. I would've never guessed she was his sister. Carter's reaction to her — I'd never seen him so mad as when she appeared at his door.”

“Well, we all generally have some kind of skeleton in our closets. Some are worse than others, I suppose.” Pax curled her legs beneath her. “But how does that explain Dani telling you about Carter having cancer?”

“When I sat down at the table with her to eat the pizza we'd brought, she asked me what ‘my story' was. I didn't know what she meant, but I told her how Carter and I met and how'd he been so good to me when we got the news about my dad.”

“Oh, my. That opened the door to her revelation, I guess.”

“You got it. She mentioned something about Carter knowing how to deal with that kind of situation since he'd gone through it before, and well, the rest is history.”

“What did you do?”

“What do you think I did? I was so angry, Pax. I still am. How could be keep something like cancer from me? Didn't he trust me? It doesn't make sense.”

Pax reached across the couch and patted her leg. “What did he say?”

Tori snorted. “Nothing that made any sense. He said the time had never been right to tell me, that he was afraid to tell me for fear I would leave.”

“Well, I guess he was right about that.”

“But I don't know what I would've done if he'd been straight with me from the beginning. There'd been a couple of times I could tell something was bothering him, but he'd always brush it off and say ‘it's no big deal.' How could this not be a big deal?”

“I don't know what to tell you, hon. I don't think he intentionally meant to hurt you. He just didn't know what to do at the time.”

“That may be so, and I know my emotions are all over the map right now. I'm so stressed about everything with my dad. I know it seems trite, but I feel in a way like it's almost a betrayal of trust.… I can't explain it.”

Before she'd finished the sentence, tears began rolling down her cheeks. “He's broken my heart.”

“I know you're upset, but don't you think it's a little bit of a rash decision?”

“Maybe, I don't know… probably. I'm so confused right now. Maybe it's because Dad's diagnosis is so recent. I guess I'd figured he'd trust me with this kind of news. He's got other issues going on with Dani, and maybe telling me about his past was one he hoped he could avoid for a while.”

Pax picked up her mug and nodded. “Do you know what you're going to do? Surely, this isn't a deal breaker for you. He's got a lot of wonderful qualities, you know?”

“I don't know. I think I need to just take a break from things for a while. Maybe try and get some clarity on it all.”

“That's probably not a bad idea. Give yourself a few days. You might find things will make more sense then.”

“Maybe. I just know I'm not interested in seeing him right now.”

****

“C'mon in.” Seb opened the front door wider and allowed Carter to enter his spacious home.

Carter wandered into the living room, unsure of what to do or say. Seb's suggestion gave him an answer.

“Let's head out to the enclosed porch. Even though it's raining, it's still nice out there.”

He followed Seb outside, and they each settled into one of the chairs overlooking the wooded portion of Seb's land. Carter didn't say a word. He wasn't even sure how to begin.

Seb finally broke through the silence. “So, what's happened?”

Carter leaned over in his chair and closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. When he sat back up again, he swallowed hard and stared straight ahead.

“Not many people know this. Perhaps more should. Only Anthony and some other high-ups and the training staff on the team.”

In the corner of his eye, Carter saw his friend sit forward, a concerned look on his face. “You've got my attention, Carter.”

“I don't remember a lot of it, but when I was four years old, I was diagnosed with a Wilms Tumor. It's a kidney cancer that strikes kids between three and eight. Luckily, the doctors found it fairly quickly and decided the best course of treatment was to remove the affected kidney.”

“Whoa! Wow. That's some pretty heavy news.”

“Yeah. My folks were pretty freaked out, as I guess most parents would be. They were worried I might die and still to this day are always worried about reoccurrence.”

“What're the odds of it coming back?”

“Not too high. Most kids who have a Wilms Tumor don't ever have it come back.”

“No doubt.” Seb sat back in the chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “It's not a big deal for you to play ball with one kidney?”

“No. I have to be cautious, but baseball is a pretty mild sport. Football was a big no-no, but non-contact sports are all okay.”

“You learn something new every day.”

“Anyway, I have a scar on my back from where they performed the nephrectomy. Most people these days don't have them, but my diagnosis came before they could do the surgery as a laparoscopy. The scar isn't obvious to most people…but you can feel it on my skin.”

“I'm guessing that's important to what you are telling me.”

Carter squirmed in his seat. “Well, remember that day when Tori flushed her keys down the toilet at the mall?”

“Yeah, man. That's a day I'm not likely to forget.”

“Well, the morning before the key flushing incident, it was the same day Tori's parents left for Duke. She was totally bummed and beside herself when they drove off. She showed up at my place… and… well, things got a little hot between us before we came to our senses. She felt my scar, but I blew her off when she asked about it.”

“Ah. I'm thinking that wasn't the brightest idea.”

“Yeah. Anyway, my sister Dani showed up at my apartment tonight. She and I haven't gotten along in a while. It's a long story and not worth getting into right now. But Dani, in her bizarre need to hurt me found a way to tell Tori about my cancer diagnosis.”

“The news came from your sister and not you? I am going to go out on a limb here and guess Tori didn't take it too well.”

Carter let out a huge sigh. “That might be the understatement of the year. She left and instructed me not to call or text her.”

Seb leaned forward and put his arm around Carter's shoulders and gave him a quick squeeze. “Wow, bud. I'm sorry to hear this. She's hurt, though, and right now she's reacting more than thinking clearly about everything.”

“Maybe so.”

“I bet if you give her a couple of days, she'll settle into the idea and things will get better. I bet she's shocked more than anything. This is some pretty serious news to hear, especially when her dad's sickness is so fresh on her mind.”

“Yeah, I guess so. Part of me is afraid, though.”

“Afraid?”

“Yeah. I'm afraid she won't forgive me for not trusting her with the truth. I'm afraid she's going to lose hope in us having a future together.”