Just F*ck Me! (14 page)

And ladies, don’t be shy. Get what you want out of your sexual relationship. If he is not giving you what you need, then you have every right to let him know.

However, this is not the blame game; this is an attempt to make your sex life as a couple the very best it can be. That deserves respect, and mutual agreement as well as mutual satisfaction.

That last one – mutual satisfaction – is a big one. This is not just about what one partner wants, and the other one providing it. This does not have to be a sacrifice on anyone’s part. Done right, the alpha male concept should be explosively titillating for both of you.

As a few words of parting advice, I’d like to encourage you to explore, discuss and, when possible, push the boundaries of your sexual relationship. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to get into a rut sexually. There are literally a million and one things to do once that bedroom door closes at night, and I hope you discover every single one of them!

And do you know why? It’s because sex is not just sex; it’s another way of communicating with each other. It will strengthen your bond over all aspects of your relationship. It helps you to get to know each other even better, and to discover new things about this person you thought you knew everything about – the person with whom you are sharing your life, and your heart.

APPENDIX

TURN UP THE HEAT WITH SOME ROLE-PLAYING

Alright, we’ve gone over a lot of topics in this book, and I hope I’ve given you a full bag of ideas to try with your partner so the both of you can enjoy hot, spicy alpha male sex anytime of the day or night!

I’d like to go more into specifics about the ideas we’ve discussed, in case you’re not exactly sure what’s what when it comes to experimenting in the bedroom. And, if you’re good, I’ll throw in a couple of new ideas, too!

Earlier, I talked about the ability of role-playing as a way to overcome any awkwardness either of you might feel when experimenting with the power dynamic between the two of you. Now, let’s take a closer look at what exactly goes into role-playing.

Basically, the two of you need to agree on a scenario that is exciting to you both. Other than that, it’s all up to you how much you want to get into the details.

For some couples, it can be simply the talking that gets them into the mood of the role-playing game. Each person takes on their role, and “becomes” that person based on what they say. But for others, there can be costumes props, and even pre-arranged times at which they agree to meet as their characters.

Let’s take the example of the handyman and the housewife. This is a popular one.

You could start out by simply making innuendos about him coming in to fix whatever is “broken” or to get out the “kinks” in your pipes. Or, you could go so far as to have her change into a housecoat and apron (with sexy lingerie underneath, of course!), and have him wear some kind of maintenance uniform (they are easily available for sale). Then, he can leave the house and come in as the handyman, with neither of you ever acknowledging your history or the fact that you’ve known each other a good long time.

You can knock on the door, and she answers and lets you in. While explaining the “problem,” she can let her bathrobe slip open, or perhaps lean over in a suggestive way. There can be heavy flirting, but it should really be you initiating – being “rough trade,” so to speak. Tell her what you think she “needs fixed,” in no uncertain terms – and then, when the time is right, take her and have your way with her.

For professor and student, you might put on glasses and a suit, or she might carry some books. For boss and secretary, maybe she wears her glasses, and you’re both in corporate attire. You might find a whole new use for that home office other than doing the taxes and paying the bills!

Teenager role-playing is also one that gets a lot of play. For many of us, those first sexual explorations are still the most exciting times in our dating histories – and a lot of those “tingly feelings” came from the guy wanting to do more or go further than the girl is comfortable with.

That’s why I suggest the football star and cheerleader combination – it’s simply the stereotypical high school characters. But you can make your characters fit whatever, and whomever, turned you on back in the day. You might even want to go to the local make-out point or lovers’ lane with the car! Really get back into that time – the good parts, at least – and let yourselves be taken away with those feelings of first love. Play your favorite old make-out music, too, to get in the mood.

No matter what the scenario, it should play out like a porn film, basically: There is a ruse to the two of you being together in the same room, she is flirty, you get aggressive, and it ends with the tension and the passion levels so high that you finally have to take her and ravish her – and it can even be right there where you’ve set your scene.

The key to role-playing is never to break the mood. For the time that you’re doing it, feel free to lose yourself in the moment and become that other character. Many, many couples have said that this helps them greatly in their sexual experiments.

And again, this is when you can hone your dirty-talk skills. By saying the things you want to say as your character, they can come easier to you and you can become more comfortable saying even the raunchiest things. Also, with role-playing, you can leave the dirty talk there in the scenario; it can be less embarrassing later, if you are someone who simply cannot get the hang of saying it with some spice.

A kind of role-playing can be done by renting a hotel room for the night or the weekend. People tend to feel unlike themselves in hotel rooms, as they are not surrounded by the things that remind them of their everyday lives. What better place, then, to lose yourselves in sexual experimentation?

Hotel rooms work great for client/escort fantasies, which can be a great way to break the alpha male ice. After all, if he is paying her to perform for him, he’s going to get his money’s worth by telling her exactly what to do, and how to do it!

Of course, it’s not necessary to do this kind of role-playing when getting a hotel room. Sometimes it can just be a great excuse to get wild and rough and mess up the bed a bit. It really depends on what you are into.

The hotel room rendezvous works well if you agree to arrive separately. That way, she can be ready in bed for him, and he takes her the second he gets in the door.

Or, you can check in together, and start in the elevator on the way up. Then, once that door is opened, push her in the door and onto the bed and have at it. You can check out the room amenities later. Remember to put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door!

Another popular role-play scenario, especially for those just starting out with alpha male sex experimentation, is for the man to create a romantic, perhaps adventure-filled evening. Many women are surprised to find that romance plays a larger role in their assertive male fantasies than they had originally thought.

Or, while the evening may end up hot, rough and spicy as a jalapeno, it can easily start out with a great romantic evening – planned entirely by the man, with no input from the woman at all. This is a softer way, shall we say, for men to get used to “calling the shots.”

It can also help the woman feel more feminine, and more amenable to receiving direction and other male assertive moves when it comes time to the sexual part of the evening’s activities. This is especially good for the woman who has a high-powered job, or who is the head of the household – either financially, or in the day-to-day running of the house.

Guys, do it up right for a whole evening – and don’t ask for a gold star for it, that’s a big thing with women; they don’t want it to be about you and this wonderful thing you did, they want the focus to be on them.

Hire a limo; rent a hotel room and order swanky room service; have a fire in the fireplace and Champagne on ice; have her follow a romantic scavenger hunt to the bedroom, where you’ll be waiting. Just make sure you’re directing it, every step of the way.

Feeling feminine and like the “weaker sex” is definitely a big part of the thrill for women in these scenarios, so ladies, do it up! Get out the sexy lingerie from the back of the dresser drawer. Shave, wax, exfoliate, perfume, spritz and spray until you feel like an irresistible goddess. It will go a long way in your fantasy of how the evening will go if you feel like you are absolutely, 100 percent ready to be seduced.

And speaking of seduced, this is another thing that is sometimes missing from the sexual focus of alpha male scenarios. Seduction has everything to do with sex, to be sure, but seduction can be used as a powerful male assertion when done correctly.

Bring some fun into your role-playing. It can be fun to meet in public, say, at a bar or restaurant for a date. Guys, show her your smooth moves with everything from ordering her drinks and maybe even her meal, to taking care of the check, or asking for a special dessert for her on the sly.

Ladies, let yourself be taken care of. Follow his lead, and see where the night takes you!

Another fun idea, particularly in this day and age of working couples, is for the woman to play up what I call the “June Cleaver” aspect of male authority. It’s a good way to get the guy into the mentality of alpha maleness – by going back in time for an evening!

Dress nice for when he comes home from work. Have whatever his equivalent of “slippers, pipe and newspaper” is waiting for him when he comes in. Give him a backrub. Make his favorite meal. Ask him if there is anything at all you can do for him, and let him tell you – explicitly. Then he can “reward” you with big manly-man sex at the end of the night!

You know what’s a sure-fire way to turn things up a notch, even though it’s been talked about as such a cliché? Stripping games. I don’t care whether it’s poker, Yahtzee or Monopoly; the strip version of any game like this allows a playful element to come into the mix. Also, having him bring out his competitive streak, especially in such a manly game as poker, can really jumpstart his alpha male instincts.

Oh, and ladies? Make sure you lose, ok?