Just Say Yes (Just Say Yes #2) (30 page)

He kissed my forehead then brought his lips back to my mouth. He kissed me hungrily, and my lips parted to let him in.

“I love you, Zoey…I’m so sorry,” he whispered between kisses.

Why did he keep apologizing to me? He didn’t do anything wrong.

He needed me, and I wanted to take his mind off what was going on, for just a little while. We would need to talk about it, just not right then. I kissed him back as desperately as he kissed me. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back on the bed, so he was lying on his back again.

Quickly, I stripped off my pajamas as he pulled off his boxers and tossed them aside. I straddled him and began stroking him gently while he watched me. I released him then crawled over his body to kiss him.

He gave my breast a firm squeeze before he ran his hand down my body between my legs. He began caressing and teasing me with his long, thick fingers. I ran my hand down his chest, over his abs, and began stroking him again.

“You ready for me, baby?” I whispered in his ear before I sat back and sank down onto him. The connection wasn’t close enough. I needed to hold him to show him everything would work out, that we would get through this together. I pulled him up so he was sitting and wound my legs around his waist.

He wrapped his arms around me and clung to me. He was still shaking.

“Andy, look at me. Please?” I asked as I rocked my hips back and forth in a slow rhythmic motion. His eyes shot open, meeting mine.

My heart hurt for him. I slipped my arms around his shoulders as my body picked up speed with his hands guiding my hips. “We will get through this,” I whispered in his ear. “I love you so much.”

Gripping my hips, he abruptly stopped me from moving and let out a tortured sob. His body shuddered as he let go and wrapped his arms tightly around me.

I felt like I was going to die when I heard him cry. My own tears silently spilled over because I couldn’t stand to see him in so much pain, but I needed to stay strong for him. He had been my lifeboat when I felt like I was sinking in a sea of depression. It was my turn to be his lifeboat, and I would do anything to keep him afloat.

My man was absolutely broken. I felt his tears on my collarbone where his face was buried in the crook of my neck.

Without warning, he flipped us over, so I was lying on the bed, with him between my legs. He centered himself over me and pushed himself back inside me, thrusting hard, as if he needed to be in control of
something
in his life right then.

Balancing with his elbows by my shoulders, our fingers intertwined above my head, he kissed me urgently. His falling tears mixed with mine on my face.

“Zoey…I’m so sorry…so sorry,” he mumbled.

I squeezed my eyes shut to dull the ache from his continuous apologies. They were breaking me in two.

He continued to thrust in and out of me
,
seeking his release. Overcome with emotions and the heaviness of his weight on me, my body was on fire for him. I was so close—his breathing was coming rapidly, hot on my neck, his thrusts harder and faster, needing a final release, but not getting it.

My body began shaking and constricting around him. Moaning with my orgasm, I let go of his hands and scraped my nails hard down his back the way he liked.

“Harder please, Zoey,” he mumbled. “
Please
…”

I did it again as hard as possible, not wanting to hurt him, but he would just beg me to do it repeatedly if I didn’t. He ground his hips against me and exhaled loudly as he reached orgasm. His body collapsed on mine while he emptied himself inside me.

He pulled out and slid down to rest his head on my chest. His full weight was on me and I had a hard time breathing, but I didn’t care. He could stay there all night. I was not going to let him carry the weight of the whole situation by himself. For him, I would carry it all. If he needed to be close to me, then so be it. I took in a deep breath and let it out, calming my nerves.

He rose up on his elbows. “Sorry, I’ll get off of you,” he whispered.

“No, please stay,” I wrapped my arms and legs around him so he wouldn’t move.

“I’m too heavy, Zoey.” He slid off me part of the way, so half of his body was on the bed, the other half was still on me.

I ran my fingers over the back of his head and neck while he stayed there with his head on my chest.

“You called me baby…” he said quietly, his voice deep and hoarse.

“Hmm…I did?”

“You asked ‘are you ready for me,
baby’
earlier,” he explained.

“Oh yeah, I guess I did. Sorry,” I said as I kissed the top of his head.

“It’s okay, I liked it. You’ve only ever called me Sexy. Wait, I’m still sexy, right?”

I smiled. “Yeah, baby, you’re still Sexy. Don’t forget you’re
my love
too.”

He reached down, pulled the sheet up over us, and propped himself up on his elbow. He rested the palm of his free hand on my chest between my breasts. “I love you, Zoey…so much,” he said as he looked down into my eyes.

“I love you, too,” I replied. “I know this day didn’t end the way either of us predicted, but you need to know that today under the willow tree was the best, most perfect day of my life. We
will
get through this.”

He rolled over on the bed and laid his head on his pillow, so I rolled to my side to face him.

“Zoey, I feel like everything has been fucked up now,” he said honestly. “The day we get engaged was supposed to be a good, happy memory…and it’s been… ruined. We can’t get that back.”

“It’s not
ruined
,” I whispered, on the verge of tears. I was sickened at what he was telling me. “Please don’t say that.”

Tears fell from my eyes then, and I needed a minute alone to gather my thoughts. I jumped off the bed, snatched my pajamas from the floor, and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I backed up against it for support, trying to catch my breath and control my emotions.

After I cleaned myself up, I pulled my pajamas back on, went to the sink, and splashed water on my face. When I stood back up, patting my cheeks dry, he was standing in the doorway.

His eyes, brilliant blue rimmed with red, were bloodshot from crying. “I’m so sorry, Zoey,” he said miserably, rubbing his jaw with the backs of his fingers.

“Will you stop apologizing?” I sobbed. “You have nothing to be sorry about. None of this is your
fault. Don’t you get it?”

He crossed the room in two strides and pulled me close. “I’m sorry. I’ll try. I feel like everything is all fucked up. I wanted everything to be perfect for you.”

I sighed. “Everything was
perfect, Andy. I’m trying to keep what Corey said and our amazing day separate. We don’t even know if what he said is true.”

He shook his head. “Why would he lie? He has nothing to gain from it.” I hoped he was wrong, but who would say something so horrible and lie about it?

“I don’t know…I don’t know,” I sighed. “Let’s go to sleep, and we’ll try to find Michelle tomorrow, okay?”

I slept horribly and Andy did too. He tossed and turned constantly. I finally dozed off well after two a.m. The next time I opened my eyes, the sun was up, and I was alone in bed. I yanked on some shorts and a T-shirt then went to check on Andy.

I arrived in the kitchen to find Hamish and Sarah sitting on the barstools at the kitchen island still in their pajamas.

“Where is he?” In my gut, I already knew he was gone.

They looked at each other, as if they weren’t sure what they should say to me. I saw the concern in their eyes when they turned back to me.

“He’s gone, isn’t he?” I asked, my voice shaking.

Sarah nodded. “I’m sorry, Zoey. He wanted to go talk to Michelle on his own. He wants you to go home.”

I felt nauseous, like I was going to throw up, the acid building up in my mouth. “I need to talk to him,” I mumbled as I turned around and ran back up the stairs to the bedroom to find my phone to call him.

I took my purse and turned it upside down, spilling the contents on top of the bed. “Where is it?” I cried, rummaging through my belongings. “Where the hell is my phone?” I threw the covers back on the bed then searched my suitcase for it.

“Zoey, it’s right here,” Sarah said from the doorway. “You left it on the couch last night.”

I jogged to the door, and she handed it to me with shaking hands.

“When did he leave, Sarah?”

She seemed ashamed. “It’s been a couple of hours. He woke up early and found out where Michelle is employed on the internet. She’s living in San Francisco and working at a real estate company. He’s planning on staying there tonight and going to see her at her job tomorrow.”

“How did he get there, Sarah?” Andy wouldn’t have taken my car if he wanted me to drive home.

The corners of Sarah’s mouth turned down in a frown. “He took my car, since I don’t drive it very much.”

I sat down on the bed, not saying anything back to Sarah. I was so angry with her and Hamish for letting him go alone. Did they not realize he needed someone with him for support?

They had known him his entire life. Me, less than a year, and I
knew
he needed someone with him.

I dialed Andy’s cell number.

“Zoey, please don’t be mad at me,” he said as soon as he answered the phone.

“I’m not mad, Andy. I am
worried
about you. I don’t think you should do this alone. Where are you?”

He cleared his throat. “San Francisco.”
Fuck!
“Please try to understand. I need to see her on my own,
if
she’ll even talk to me.”

What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t force him to let me help. He didn’t want me there. I didn’t have to like his decisions, but I had to respect them. It wasn’t my marriage, or my child.

However, it was my future and his at stake if this went bad.

“Fine, Andy. I can see you already made up your mind, but you didn’t have to run out on me without talking to me. That hurts more than anything,” I admitted, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight and didn’t mean to hurt you. I need to go, but I’ll call you as soon as I find anything out. Go home and try not to worry about this. I’ll get it figured out.”

What choice did I have? “Alright,” I acquiesced, feeling crushed. “Please be careful, and keep me posted. I love you. Don’t forget that.”

He let out a shaky breath. “Okay, Beautiful. Please be careful driving home. I’ll miss you every day. I love you. Bye.”

The line went dead, and our call was over. A wave of dread washed over me, and my mind automatically went on autopilot. I had to get the fuck out of there and back to my home, where I could try to deal with what happened.

I packed my belongings and found everything Andy had left behind and put it in my suitcase. He did not want me with him. I was emotional and just wanted to go home. I picked up my makeup bag, headed to the bathroom, brushed my hair, and then tied it back in a loose knot.

I stood in front of the mirror brushing my teeth when Sarah came in and knocked on the doorjamb. “Zoey, do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

At the same moment, I pushed my toothbrush back a bit too far and triggered my gag reflex. I launched myself toward the sink to spit out all the toothpaste then gagged again. My face was suddenly clammy and sweaty, and I became dizzy.

I propped my elbows on the cold bathroom counter for balance.

Sarah walked into the bathroom and put her hand on my back. “Zoey, are you alright? Are you sick?” she asked.

I shook my head. “No. I think I’m better now. That was really weird.”

After rinsing my mouth and toothbrush, I splashed cold water on my face. Sarah handed me a towel to dry off.

“Thanks,” I said as I took the towel. I was still feeling a little weird from my gagging incident. “I think I need to eat something before I leave, if it’s okay.” The whole situation was making me physically sick.

She nodded. “Of course, Zoey. Let’s get you some food. If you want to talk about what’s going on, please let me know.” I nodded and followed Sarah downstairs to the kitchen.

I sat at the table, watching Sarah and Hamish eating their bagels. We talked about Michelle a bit, as I picked at my bagel. It had no taste and I was having a really hard time eating it.

Other than discussing their divorce, Andy never really talked about Michelle, so I didn’t know much about her. Apparently, they eloped because her family disapproved of him.

Previously, he told me they didn’t approve of him, but I had no idea they eloped.

It seemed as if Michelle was rebelling against them after she graduated from college, and Andy was her token ‘bad boy’. I found that information slightly amusing, because there was nothing ‘bad’ about him.

Sure, tattoos covered most of his upper body, but they never even saw his tattoos because he’d gotten them all after his divorce. Her family mislabeled him as a
greasy mechanic
, but he was a great person. He came from a good family, from the right side of the tracks, so to speak. Michelle’s family sounded like a bunch of rich, snobby assholes to me.