Just This Once (14 page)

“No,” Hannah admitted. “He liked it, I think. He gets
bothered so much for autographs, people taking his picture and all that, I
suppose it was nice for him to know that I wasn’t trying to meet him, or
impressed by his job. But still, I feel so stupid now.”

After that, Hannah naturally had to fill her friend in on
the whole story.  Well, maybe not the
whole
story. Some things were
nobody’s business, not even Susannah’s. She hadn’t realized, though, how much
she needed to talk over what had happened, to make sense of her conflicting
emotions.

“The thing is, I’ve never felt like this about anyone,” she
tried to explain. “I don’t think it was just the vacation, or New Zealand. It
was all so good, right from the beginning. We had such a good time together.
But, Susannah,” she said desperately, “I know it was a mistake anyway, now.
Here I am back here, and he’s there, and that’s it. It’s not like I met
somebody nice that I can keep seeing. That’s probably best anyway, because I’m
sure I’d just get my heart broken. He’s way out of my league. I know I have to
say, that was a great time on my vacation, a great few weeks. Now I’m here,
back to my life, let’s go.”

“Whoa. How did you start out by saying, I’ve begun a
wonderful relationship with a great guy, and end up with, he’d have dumped me
anyway, so thank goodness it’s over now?”

“Come on,” Hannah said impatiently. “First, he’s a
professional athlete. He probably makes some ridiculous amount of money—in
fact, I’m sure he does, based on what I saw. And look at him. I’m sure he has
his pick of women to date. I certainly saw enough of them approaching him, even
when he was with me. And second, he’s 6,000 miles away, did you notice?”

“Fine,” Susannah retorted. “So what did he say about that?
Was this the end of it, then? I had a nice time, see you around?”

“No,” Hannah admitted. “He said he’d come see me here. But
he was probably just being nice, don’t you think?”

“I think you don’t want to give him a chance. If he said he
wanted to come see you, why not see if he meant it before you assume he didn’t?
OK, the guy’s attractive, he’s well off, he’s famous—at least there he is. But
it sure sounds to me from what you said that he was as bowled over by you as
you were by him. Give him a chance,” Susannah urged again. “There are good guys
out there, you know. You’re a pretty good judge of character. If you liked him
that much, there must be something there.”

“Maybe I just liked his body, though,” Hannah said gloomily.

“Well, that isn’t so bad either,” Susannah laughed. “Nothing
wrong with that.”

Hannah felt better after hanging up. Even if Susannah wasn’t
right, at least there was somebody she could talk things over with now. She
wasn’t one to ask for a lot of advice, but in this case, she admitted, she was
out of her depth.

At any rate, what she needed to do now, she told herself
bracingly, was to unpack and take a walk. She’d feel better, more grounded
after a trip to the grocery store to restock. Not to mention a few cups of tea.

She was in the middle of ironing and putting away her
somewhat crumpled clothes when her phone beeped with a text. Thinking it must
be Kristen, she picked it up, her heart leaping when she saw Drew’s name on the
screen.

Back OK? Miss you.

She texted,
Yes thanks.
Typed
Miss you too,
then
deleted it and pressed
Send.

Seconds later, she jumped when her phone rang. She answered,
and heard, “Hi. The flight was all right then?”

“Hi,” she replied, her smile huge. It was so good to hear
his voice. “You shouldn’t have got me that upgrade, though. You didn’t have to
do that. It must have been so expensive.”

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this. Should let you think I
spent all that. But I’m on an Air New Zealand plane half the weeks in the year.
Reckon they’ve made their dollar out of me. I’ve done a bit of advertising for
them too. They’re a big sponsor. Didn’t charge me much at all. I’m just glad if
you were more comfortable.”

“Yes,” she took the opportunity to say. “I noticed you’d
done a bit of advertising. When I opened the in-flight magazine and saw your
face looking at me. It just about gave me a heart attack. But I feel like an
idiot, Drew. Why didn’t you tell me you were captain of the All Blacks?”

“Didn’t seem necessary, did it. I wasn’t being ‘captain of
the All Blacks’ when I was with you. Just a bloke on his holidays.”

“Some bloke,” she muttered. “You weren’t laughing at me?
Shouldn’t I have known?”

“Nah. I promise I wasn’t laughing at you. I’m laughing at
you now, a bit,” he admitted. “Does that count? Why should you know? I’m not such
an arrogant bugger that I think women all over the world have my poster over
their bed. I’m not bloody Prince William.”

“Close enough in New Zealand, I’ll bet,” she said shrewdly.

He laughed. “Not even here. Believe me, there are heaps of
good-looking fellas on the squad for the girls to drool over. I’m not even on
the list. Sorry to disappoint you.”

She privately suspected that wasn’t true, but it was
obviously a subject he didn’t want to discuss. “Where are you now?” she asked
instead.

“Went back to the Coromandel. Back to the fishing.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re getting the chance to do that now,
anyway. I know how much you enjoy it.”

“I’d rather have you here with me,” he said seriously.
“Fishing or not.”

“I wish I were there too,” she admitted. “I was glad to see
my sister again, but it was hard to leave.”

They talked a while longer, and when she hung up, she was at
least a little convinced that this was more than a fling for him, too.

It didn’t take long for her vacation to seem like a dim
memory. Walking through the office door the next day, Hannah felt her role
settling back around her like a well-worn sweater, as welcomes were called out
and employees stopped by to ask about her vacation and update her on work
issues.

A few questions about her trip were enough to satisfy most,
confirming her belief that nobody was really very interested in anyone else’s
vacation. Or their vacation photos, she thought with amusement, remembering her
conversation with Drew. She knew Emery would have been more than interested in some
of the details, but she had no intention of sharing. Instead, she carefully
edited the company she had kept out of her brief accounts of the trip. 

Soon enough, though, it was back to business as usual. True
to their word, Beth and Emery had handled things well during her absence, though
they were happy to have her back. Felix, of course, was overjoyed. He kept her
on the phone for an hour that first day, going over plans for the next few
weeks. What with that, and making it through the pile of material on her desk
and in her email inbox, she was more than glad when the long day was over.

By the end of the week, she felt caught up and back in
control, if a bit exhausted. Had her days always been this long? By the time
she had worked eleven hours or more, got in some exercise, and fed herself, she
was falling asleep over a book. No wonder she had no social life, she realized.
She didn’t have time for one.

She did manage to leave work early on Thursday, though, to
have Matt and Kristen over for dinner. It hadn’t been easy to find an evening
when both were free. No question, they did have the social lives she lacked.

Hannah hadn’t seen Matt in almost two months, and she
realized how much she had missed her happy-go-lucky brother. It was
reassuringly comfortable sitting with the two of them at her kitchen table, as
they had so many times before. 

“So did you do any adventure sports in New Zealand?” Matt
asked her as they finished their meal. “Did you try surfing at all? Bet you
didn’t even think about kite surfing. I’d love to do that.”

“No,” Hannah admitted. “I did a lot of ocean swimming,
though, even snorkeling. Kayaking, too. And I hiked a lot. It was the most
beautiful place I’ve ever been. Just getting the chance to see it was such a
treat.”

“You could have done all that here, though,” he said,
disappointed. “What about Zorbing?”

“I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t even know what that
is,” she told him.

“You know. You have to have seen it,” he argued. “You get
into a big plastic ball, and they roll you down the hill.”

“Nope, sorry. I didn’t even realize I was missing the chance
to roll down a hill in a giant plastic ball.”

“I’ve seen that! That looks really fun,” Kristen put in. “It’s
too bad you didn’t try it.”

“What about bungy jumping?” Matt went on. “They invented it
in New Zealand, you know. And you have to have noticed places where you could
do that. I’ve heard there are lots of opportunities to bungy jump over there.”

“I did notice that,” Hannah agreed, smiling. “But I must
admit, I never felt the slightest desire to try it. Jumping off some tower and
falling to the ground, trusting I won’t hit it and die—not my idea of a good
time. I don’t find it very entertaining to be terrified, I guess. It sounds to
me like you’d better take your own trip to New Zealand. You can fill me in on
everything I missed.”

 “I’m thinking about it,” Matt answered cheerfully. “I’m
saving again now. I got some great tips last week, and Christmas is always
good. Maybe next year, after Christmas. I should have enough money saved up by
then to take two or three months off and travel. I was thinking about going to
Australia and New Zealand, maybe some of the Pacific Islands too.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Hannah said. “And the right
time of year to go. So you’re planning to keep working at the hotel for another
year?”

“Yep. That’s the plan. And before you ask,” Matt cut her
off, “no, I have no plans to get a job ‘in my field,’ or to go to graduate
school. I want to do this right now.”

“I know you do, sweetie,” Hannah said a little sadly. “When
you get to that point, though, you know I’ll help you any way I can.”

“You’ve helped me enough, don’t you think?” Matt asked
reasonably. “Me and Kristen both. You helped pay my way through college. How
many sisters can say that? And I’m grateful. But I need to make my own
decisions now.”

Hannah got up and moved around the table to hug him. “I’ve always
been glad to help you out, Mattie. And I’m so proud of you. Of both of you. We
didn’t have much example of that growing up—supporting ourselves, being
independent. You’re both doing so well. I’ll try to back off now, I promise.”

Kristen had been sitting quietly, listening. Now she spoke,
more thoughtfully than usual. “Matt and I did have an example, though. I mean,
there you were, working so hard all the time. You still do. And maybe we should
be there for you more, Hannah. It’s always been you helping us. But you know,
you never call us when you have a problem.”

“That’s because I’m lucky. I don’t have many problems,”
Hannah replied cheerfully. “I have a pretty good life, you know. Too busy, but
I have you two, and I have great friends.”

“Speaking of friends,” Matt said, getting up and putting his
dishes into the dishwasher, “I’m supposed to meet some guys. Sorry to eat and
run.”

“That’s OK,” Hannah said, stifling her disappointment. “It
was great to see you. Especially since I missed Thanksgiving this year. We’ll
make up for it at Christmas, though.”

Kristen left fairly soon too. Which was good, as Hannah had
another early day on Friday. And lots more to catch up on over the weekend.

Lying in bed that evening, she thought back to what Matt and
Kristen had said. She was glad Matt wanted to be independent, though it gave
her heart a wrench to think that he didn’t need her anymore. But he was right,
she admitted. She had been looking out for her brother and sister for so long,
it was hard to recognize that they were adults now. Hard not to give them
advice or to think she knew what was best for them.  

Kristen was going to be a tougher nut than Matt in that
regard, she knew. Or was she herself the problem? Didn’t some part of her take
satisfaction in being so important to her sister, in Kristen’s reliance on her
advice, her guidance? Drew—and Susannah too, she reminded herself—were right.
She needed to let Kristen grow up. At least get out of her way.

Hannah wasn’t used to feeling lonely. She spent so much of
her day talking to people that she usually enjoyed coming home and having a
chance to wind down and relax by herself. Since her return, though, something
had changed. Instead of feeling like a haven, her apartment just seemed empty.
She found herself spending even more time outdoors, using her lunch hour to run
or swim and working into the late evening. She hated to admit how much she
looked forward to Drew’s calls, even as she schooled herself not to expect
them.

But when he called to tell her he was coming to the U.S. in
a week, she stopped trying to convince herself that she didn’t miss him, and
wasn’t longing to see him again.

“That’s great that you’re able to get over here,” she said.
“It’s a long way to come, though.”

“I have a meeting in LA with an ad exec anyway, for an
endorsement deal,” he told her smoothly. Who would have been more than happy to
come to New Zealand, Drew knew. The man had jumped at the chance to have Drew
visit, however, and had quickly taken the opportunity to line up a photo shoot
at the same time. He sensed, though, that Hannah would feel less pressured if
she thought he weren’t making a special trip to see her.

He didn’t understand her reluctance to admit that they might
have something special. His own feelings weren’t very complicated. He missed
her, he wanted to see her, and he needed to find out how it would be when they
were together again.

“Can you take a day off, so we have a bit of time?” he asked
now. “Friday would be good.”