Just This Once (16 page)

Drew seemed to realize that it was a big step for her. After
she had shown him around, which took all of a minute, he told her seriously,
“Thanks for sharing your place with me tonight. I wanted to see where you live.
Where you work. So when I ring you, I can imagine you here. Know what you’re
seeing, when you look out the window.”

“It feels good to have you here too. I wish you could stay
longer, but it’s probably just as well, since I can’t take any more time off.
It’s going to be hard enough going to work tomorrow while you’re still here.”

She was right. Getting up the next morning and kissing him
goodbye was a wrench, even knowing that he’d be coming by the office to take
her to lunch. Hannah had suggested they meet at a restaurant, but Drew hadn’t
been put off so easily.

“Why don’t you want me to see where you work?” he asked her
shrewdly. “You’re actually a typist, is that it?”

“I don’t think there even are such things as typists
anymore,” she pointed out. “No, it’s just that . . . people talk, you know. I’m
fairly private around the office.”

“I can see that. You wouldn’t want anyone to know you ever
had a date. Could ruin your reputation.”

“Probably true,” she admitted. “But I guess I can risk it.”

Even so, when she heard his voice in the outer office that
afternoon, she jumped and dropped her stapler with a crash. Beth turned from
her desk in surprise that turned to speculation as Drew entered their shared
workspace. It was shallow of her, Hannah knew, but she couldn’t resist a flash
of pride in his appearance and the way he dominated the space around him. When
he walked into a room, it was hard to be unaware of his presence.

She introduced him to Beth and could almost see her
colleague’s mental gears clicking over as she registered his accent. Hannah
made their escape as quickly as possible. Before Emery came in, she thought
desperately. The fun would really have started then.

Over lunch, Drew suggested visiting again in January, before
he had to report for practice. She agreed, but refused to let herself get too
comfortable with the idea.

“It’s a long time from now,” she told him. “If it doesn’t
work out, that’s OK. No obligation.”

“It’s only a month away,” he corrected. “Can’t you count on
me even for a month?”

She shrugged. “Things can happen. We’re a long way apart. I
know that. I’m a realist.”

“A pessimist, more like,” he answered, nettled. “Do you
think you won’t want to see me, next month? Should I not bother?”

“No!” she responded, startled. “I’ll want to see you. You
know I will. But it’s not the same.”

“No, it’s not the same. Because I have some faith in you.”

“I’m sorry,” she said wretchedly. “But you meet women all
the time, and I know they’re looking to date you.”

“That must mean,” he countered, “that if I needed a date, or
someone to spend the night with, I wouldn’t have to fly 10,000 kilometers to do
it. And yet here I am.”

“Hannah,” he went on seriously, taking her hand, “This is
good. Don’t write it off until we see how we go.”

She pressed his hand in return. “OK,” she said, a little shakily.
“I want to see you. Please come back next month.” It frightened her to admit,
to him and to herself, how much she wanted that to happen.

“You can count on it.” He released her hand and stood.
“Let’s get you back to work, then, earn your salary so you can take another day
off, next time I’m here.”

Back at the office, he asked her for a tour.

“There’s not that much to see,” Hannah said doubtfully. But
she obliged, showing him what she was working on. He took a copy of the latest
catalog (“Reading material for the plane ride, eh”), and chatted with Beth, who
was clearly agog with curiosity.

Of course, it took only minutes for Emery to get wind of
Drew’s visit and to pop in to be introduced as well. Hannah watched Drew
closely, dreading his reaction. She didn’t care, she told herself fiercely, how
much she liked him. If he were rude to Emery, it was going to affect her
opinion of him.

She needn’t have worried. Drew seemed to find Emery amusing,
laughing at his obvious attempts to get more details about their relationship.

“You’ll have to ask Hannah about that, I’m afraid,” he
smiled. “I’m just here for a visit. And I’ve got to be off now, catch that plane.”
He picked up his bag where he had stowed it near her desk. “I ordered a taxi,
should be here now.”

“Thanks for showing me around, introducing me to your
mates,” he said as Hannah walked him to the waiting cab. “Emery’s a bit of a
dag, isn’t he?”

“What?” she asked, startled. “He’s gay, yes. Is that what
you mean?”

He laughed. “I got that, didn’t I. Nah, he’s a comedian,
like. A bit of a dag.”

“Oh,” she answered, relieved. “I wish you’d speak English. I
was worried for a minute you were some kind of homophobe, and I was going to
have to hate you. But you’re right. Emery’s great. He always makes me laugh, no
matter how stressed I am. He’s really good at his job, too. Felix can’t stand
him, of course. Not respectful enough.”

“I can see that. Reckon you’re going to hear from him about
me when you go back in there.” He pulled her to him for a goodbye kiss. “Wish
you were going back with me. It’ll be a long flight by myself.”

“Hmmm. Judging from what the flight attendant had to say
about you on my trip, I’m guessing you could have company if you wanted it.”

He winced. “Yeh. Always looking to make me more comfortable,
aren’t they. I’ll ring you when I’m back home. And we’ll make plans soon for
next month.”

“All right.” She kissed him again as the driver moved to put
his bag in the trunk. “Have a safe trip.” And allowed herself to hope that she
really would see him again soon.

“Well.” Emery perched on the edge of Hannah’s desk and
looked at her, arms folded, a devilish smile on his pixie face. “Just what have
you been up to, young lady?”

Hannah saw that Beth was looking at her with just as much
interest, if a bit more discretion. She sank into her desk chair and said
weakly, “Well, I did tell you that I had a good time in New Zealand, right?
It’s just . . . I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want to make too much
of it. He’s someone I met on my trip.”

 “So he’s a rugby player,” Emery said with satisfaction.
“Once we knew that, Beth and I had to Google him while you were out there. Good
work, girl. I’m impressed. Must have been the wardrobe. I told you the Rapunzel
thing would work for you. And it looks like I was right,” he congratulated
himself.

Hannah laughed. “Only you could turn this into a triumph for
you, Emery. You didn’t even help me pick my clothes. I don’t think you can take
credit for this one.”

“So he came all this way to visit you, and you didn’t even
tell us about him. I have to say, I’m disappointed in you. Come on, share some
details. What happened?”

“I met him, and we spent time together. Is that so amazing?
Other people have holiday flings, right? This was my fling. Except it wasn’t, I
guess. Oh, dear.” Hannah flapped her hands in distress. “I really like him. And
I think he might like me too. I’m pretty confused,” she admitted with a shaky
laugh.

 “Soooo . . .” Emery said, “I don’t get it. OK, the guy
likes you. A lot. He came all the way over here. And don’t tell me he just
happened to travel, what? Five thousand miles? He was in your neighborhood and
thought he’d drop by? You even took a day off to be with him, my amazing
telepathic powers tell me. Oh, the shock. You like him. He likes you. What are
we confused about here?”

“He’s too much, I think,” Hannah said slowly. “It’s a little
overwhelming, isn’t it? Look at me.” She opened her arms wide and gave her
chair a spin. “I’m OK, I know. I’m all right. I’m not complaining. But I’m not
a supermodel, admit it. Any kind of model. He’s just . . . so much. So
attractive. So successful. So . . . big.”

“Now we’re getting into it,” Emery said. “Well, I can
certainly understand that. I mean, who wants a rich, successful guy, who’s hot
as
hell?
With, I might add, an adorable accent? And one who’s so . . .
big
?”
He fluttered his eyelashes dramatically and said seriously, “I can see I need
to take him off your hands.”

Beth laughed and chimed in for the first time. “Somehow, I
don’t think you’d have too much luck with that one, Emery. I suspect you’re not
his type.”

Turning to Hannah, she said in her usual thoughtful tone, “I
think you might be underestimating yourself. I don’t go much for the big jock
type myself, but even I can see he’s hot. All that testosterone—I’m sure he does
beat them off with a stick. But has it occurred to you that he might like you
because you aren’t a party girl? He didn’t strike me as much of a party boy
himself. Pretty serious, I thought. When you’re together, what’s it like?”

Hannah felt herself blushing again, and for the thousandth
time, cursed the Viking ancestor who had bequeathed her her fair skin. Her thin
skin, she thought ruefully. “It’s good,” she offered lamely.

Emery leaned forward again. “How good?” he whispered.

Beth slapped his hand. “Stop it, Emery. Quit teasing. You
don’t have to share too much, Hannah. But what do you talk about? How does it
feel to be with him?”

Hannah answered honestly this time. “It’s so easy. You know
I’m not all that chatty all the time, and he isn’t either. But we can talk, and
it’s fine being quiet with him too. We like doing the same things. Hiking,” she
said hastily. “The ocean. Being outdoors. I feel like I’ve known him a long
time. But I haven’t. And that’s the problem.”

“But,” Beth objected, “given how you feel, and how I saw him
looking at you, what are you worrying about?”

“I guess I’m afraid I like him too much,” Hannah admitted. “I’m
scared to let myself. I kept telling myself while I was out there that it was a
short-term thing. Like a shipboard romance, or those women who sleep with the
golf pro.” She laughed. “Well, not exactly that. I’m not good at casual
relationships, I know, but what can I say, I really liked him. So I told
myself, it’s OK, you can be self-indulgent, just this once. You’ll be careful.
And no harm done. And the problem now is,” she sighed, “That I don’t feel
casual. That’s what’s confusing me. And we don’t exactly live near each other,
do we? It’s not like this can go anywhere.”

“Well, shoot,” she moaned, standing up and pacing, her arms
wrapped around herself. “I’m a mess. I’m scared of getting hurt, that’s all,”
she repeated.

Emery stood up and gave her a hug. “Honey, even I can get
hurt. And you know what a tiny, shriveled little heart I have. Sometimes you just
have to go with it. Even a Miss Control like you. Some things you can’t put in
a spreadsheet. Some things don’t balance.”

Hannah smiled and felt a little better. Talking it over had
helped, even though she still felt shaky, and embarrassed at having confided so
much. She took a deep breath. “Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. But we’d probably
all better get back to work, huh? Otherwise I’m going to be lovelorn, and we’re
all going to be jobless too.”

They laughed and moved away, Emery giving her one last squeeze.
But the conversation reverberated in Hannah’s head all afternoon. She
was
scared.
What kind of future did they have? Wasn’t she just setting herself up for more
heartbreak down the road?

Don’t worry about that now, she scolded herself. Drew had said
he was coming back next month. She’d look forward to that.

Hannah’s job was always busy to the point of being frantic
during the holiday season, and this year was no exception. She was reluctant
even to spend the time to attend the annual holiday party that TriStyle Woman
was co-hosting with other tenants of the office complex.

“Why do we have to go to this thing again?” she complained
to Emery. “I have a lot to do. Couldn’t I just stay in the office and work? You
could do my part for me.”

“You’re supposed to distribute the holiday bonus envelopes,
remember, Mrs. Scrooge? I intend to be there with my hand out. And you’re
giving a speech, aren’t you? You know my speech would be totally
inappropriate.”

Hannah had to laugh at that. “You could be right,” she
conceded. “I’m not sure I should leave that to you, especially after a couple
glasses of wine. All right. Not sure it’s going to be worth my getting dressed
up for, though. At least it’s after work, so I didn’t have to go home and come
back.”

“Do you call that dressed up?” Emery asked, brows raised.
“All right, you’re wearing a dress. Could we have been a bit more festive,
though? I keep telling you, navy blue isn’t your color. And you know, a little
higher heel wouldn’t have killed you.”

“It’s too hard to walk in them, though.”

“Who’s walking? The party’s in the lobby. Let’s at least fix
your hair. It’s a party, not a funeral. Here, let me take it out of that stupid
knot.”

She did look better, Hannah conceded, after Emery had
finished arranging her hair into a softer style. He then insisted on pulling
out her purse and intensifying her usually subdued makeup.

“There. Now you look a little less like the Grinch. Come on.
Let’s go get this party started.”

As they walked downstairs, Hannah had to admit that the huge
lobby looked beautiful. A decorated tree stood in the corner, and the modern
pillars were twined with lights and garlands. A band was already playing as the
building’s various tenants congregated around the bar.

“No expense spared,” Emery grinned as he brought her a glass
of wine. “A cash bar,
and
hors d’oeuvres. And the whole thing will be
over by eight. Oh well, cheers.” He clinked his glass against hers. “I’m off to
look for cute boys. See what Santa will bring me.”

Hannah watched him go, laughing. She was soon joined by
Beth, and a festive spirit did begin to fill the space. With the lights
lowered, inhibitions a bit loosened after a glass of wine, and the band
playing, it began to feel less like a work function and more like a party.