Just This Once (20 page)

“I can’t just pick up, and move to a new country like that! What
about my sister and brother? What about my job?”

“What about your job? Did you sign Articles of Indenture
that I’m not aware of? Why can’t you get a new job? Haven’t you been talking
about that anyway?”

“Yes,” Hannah conceded. “But in a new country? Wouldn’t that
be a lot harder to do?”

“I don’t know. Have you checked? Did Drew seem to think that
would be a big barrier?”

“Well, no. But Susannah, I’d have to move everything. Or
sell my stuff. And start all over.”

“I have to say, these objections aren’t sounding very
convincing,” Susannah said slowly. “It seems to me that if you wanted to do it,
going abroad for a year or two, getting a job, wouldn’t be that big a deal, at
this point in your life. So what’s the real problem?”

“I’m not sure,” Hannah admitted. “But I think it’s Drew. I
really like him. You know I do. But we spent a couple weeks together, and then
we’ve had a few days, and some phone calls and emails. And now I’m supposed to
pack up my whole life and move there to be with him? What about when it ends?
How am I going to feel then? I’ll be stuck over there.”

“So he’s set a date, has he,” Susannah needled. “When he’s
dumping you. Or are you planning to dump him?”

“You know I’m not. But I have to be realistic here.”

“All right, so protect yourself. Don’t move in with him. Get
a job there, and figure you’re trying it out for a while. What he said makes
sense anyway. You do work too much. If you can go somewhere else and have the
same kind of job, but with an actual life, wouldn’t that be better?”

“I guess so. But I’d miss my friends.”

“Like me, you mean.”

“Exactly. And my brother and sister.”

“And how long has it been since we’ve seen each other? Six
months? Because, Hannah,
you work all the time.
You don’t have that much
time to see your friends. And you and I live across the state from each other.
We never see each other anyway. Why couldn’t we still talk on the phone? What’s
the time difference there?”

“Three or four hours. Well, it’s more like 20 or 21 hours.
But same thing.”

“That’s right. So why wouldn’t we just talk on the phone
like we do now? Also, you’re a really nice person. You’re smart, you’re funny.
People like you. Don’t you think, if you started a new job, you’d make new
friends? Maybe even have some time to spend with them?”

“And now I know you’re going to talk to me about Kristen,”
Susannah continued. “Drew’s right, you know. You don’t have parents, so you
don’t know this. But I do. Once you’re in your 20s, you can still be close. You
can still call, and talk. Visit too. But your parents aren’t there, hovering,
just waiting for you to make a mistake so they can scoop you up and fix it. My
parents moved to Texas, you know that. I see them maybe twice a year. I still
talk to them, and I love them. But they’ve moved on with their lives. They
aren’t waiting around in case I decide to stop by. It’s time you did that too.
You did your job. More than your job. You’re not actually their mother, you
know. Time to move on and live your own life now.”

“You might be right,” Hannah admitted. “I thought about
that, over Christmas. It was hard being alone. I felt pretty stupid, all by
myself in my apartment, while they went off and had fun. I don’t want another
Christmas like that. But still, Susannah. Just because I think I could live
someplace else, that doesn’t make it smart to move across the world to be with
a guy.”

“Is he ‘a guy,’ though? I kind of thought he was more than
that. He sure seems better than any other man you’ve met. He seems pretty
special, in fact.”

“He is. So far. But we haven’t spent that much time
together. And there’s no guarantee this will work out. It’s a huge risk. I
don’t know if I’m ready to take it.”

“You know what this is really about,” Susannah decided. “I
think you truly believe he’s not going to love you. That you’re going to put
your heart on the line, and he’s going to stomp on it.”

Hannah couldn’t say anything. Her throat constricted and she
fought back tears as Susannah went on inexorably. “Your dad left you. And your
mom might as well have. So you think you’re on your own. That nobody’s ever
going to love you. You won’t even give this guy a chance to show you that
you’re wrong. So protect yourself,” she urged again. “Get your own place. Build
your own life. What are you risking? If you’re over there, and seeing him all
the time, you’ll both find out if it can last. If it doesn’t, OK, you’ll be
alone. But you’re alone now.”

“I’m used to it now, though. This is my life. What if I try
to change it? And it doesn’t work?”

“Then you’ll be strong, the same way you always are. You’ve
got through everything that’s happened to you so far, better than anyone I
know. Look, I promise, if he dumps you, if you’re stranded over there and you
fall apart, I’ll come get you. OK?”

Hannah had to laugh. “OK. I guess I can count on you to
rescue me, anyway.”

“You know you can,” Susannah said firmly. “Now get on the
computer and start doing that research. I’m not going to watch you throw away
this chance. Get some guts and try, Hannah. And call me tomorrow. Tell me what
you find out.”

She could look, at least, Hannah told herself after she hung
up. That didn’t mean she had to do anything. She typed “New Zealand work visa”
into her search engine. Her heart began to beat harder as she clicked on
“Immigration New Zealand,” then moved on to “Temporary Work Visas.” She found
that to have the best chance to be hired by an employer, her occupation would
have to be included in the “Essential Skills List.” She could barely click
through the lists of specialties and subspecialties that made up the list. Once
she had, she sat staring at her computer. There it was. Marketing Specialist.
Specifically, brand manager, product manager, category manager.

She stood up, walked around the room. Came back to her
computer, and typed “Marketing Jobs New Zealand” into the search engine. There
were the sites. And the jobs.

All right, she told herself. There were jobs. That didn’t
mean she would find one she liked, or that they’d hire her. But she could
check. She pushed the down arrow and started scrolling.

She spent as many hours at the office as always, the rest of
the week. But she could feel half her attention being pulled away. For the
first time, she wasn’t totally focused on her career at TriStyle Woman, and it
unsettled her. Every evening found her on New Zealand job sites. And updating
her resume.

It had been a while, she thought wryly the first time she
pulled up the ancient document. She had read that resumes should be updated
annually, but had never seen the point. She hadn’t applied for a job since she
was a senior in college. What would it be like now, more than seven years
later, to interview?

It would be easier, she realized. She had plenty of
experience and skills to bring to the table. This time, she would be
interviewing potential employers as well, instead of just answering their
questions and hoping she passed. It would have to be the right job, the right
company, or she wasn’t doing this. This couldn’t just be about moving to New
Zealand to be with Drew. It had to be about making a change for the better in
her work life too.

Susannah called on Tuesday, as promised, to check on her
progress, and was delighted to find that Hannah had actually started looking
into the job market. But Drew didn’t call. Hannah was grateful at first, since
she still felt so uncertain about the whole prospect. By Thursday, though, she
had begun to panic. Maybe he’d changed his mind. Her imagination leaped ahead.
He was regretting what he had said. She would make the decision, and there
would be an awkward pause before he told her that he had met someone new. Or
that he had decided it wouldn’t work.

After a restless night, she decided she had to call him and
find out. If he didn’t want her to come anymore, she needed to know that now,
not after she had begun applying for jobs. As soon as the time was reasonable,
she took a deep breath and dialed his number. A recording. She left a brief
message and hung up, feeling more anxious and on edge than ever, then
resolutely forced herself back to work.

When her cell phone rang at five-thirty, she grabbed for it.
Seeing Drew’s name on the caller ID, she quickly walked outside the offices for
privacy as she answered.

“Just got your message. Sorry it took me a bit to get back to
you. I had a team meeting and a practice. Just got out,” he began.

“Oh, that’s right, practice has started, hasn’t it?” She was
glad to have another topic to start the conversation. “How’s it going?”

“Need to tighten up on the conditioning. Some of the boys
haven’t come back fit enough. Not too bad, all in all. How’re you going?”

“I’m . . . I was wondering. Do you still . . . are you still
interested in my coming down there to work for a while? You haven’t called, and
I thought maybe . . . maybe you were sorry you’d said it. So I wanted to ask,”
she finished in a rush.

“Of course I meant it. Wouldn’t have said it if I hadn’t
meant it, would I. I should’ve known you’d start thinking I’d changed my mind. You
were supposed to call me and tell me what you decided, remember? I didn’t want
to pressure you. Thought I should give you some time to think about it. Have
you done that?”

“Yes,” she answered warily. “And I’m checking. I’m looking
at jobs and things. But will you promise, Drew? If you change your mind about
it, will you please tell me? I think it’s going to take a while to make all
this happen. And I know you’re into the season now, and you can’t come here. I
need you to be honest and tell me if you have second thoughts. Because I’d have
to give notice at my job, and my apartment, and everything.”

“Hannah. Hang on,” he said, laughing. “I’m not changing my
mind. Thought we’d been over this already. Yeh, I want you to come down here.
You’re really looking into it? That’s awesome. How’re you going with it?”

“There are a lot of jobs,” she admitted. “I’ve been
surprised. And there are actually quite a few that look possible. But I want to
make sure I find something that really works. It seems like if I got the job,
then getting a temporary work visa wouldn’t be too hard.”

“Shouldn’t be hard at all. And I’m not surprised there are
jobs. The job market here isn’t as good as Aussie, but not too bad, I think, if
you have skills. D’you want me to have a look round for you?”

“And by that, you mean, ‘Do you want me to get somebody to
offer you a job?’ Because I have a feeling that’s what it would be. No, I think
I’d better look for myself, thanks. I have to get a job on my own merits, to
know I’m a good match and the company’s a good match for me.”

“If you want my help, though, just ask,” he urged. “I could
put in a word.”

“No. No words,” she insisted. “But thank you. I know you
want to help.”

“Nah, I just want you down here with me. The sooner the
better.”

“I’d better get back to work, then. So I can finish up here,
and go home and look at job sites. But you never answered my question. Will you
promise me that if you change your mind, you’ll tell me, not feel like you’ve
committed yourself and now you have to go through with it?”

He sighed. “If that happens, I promise, you’ll be the first
to know. Will that do you? Now go back to work, and get cracking on that job
search.”

Five weeks, eight applications, and three phone interviews
later, Hannah opened her email to find a job offer. And not just any job offer.
The one she had wanted. Like TriStyle Woman, 2
^nd
Hemisphere also
sold fitness clothing, but with a difference. They had started by manufacturing
their own activewear using merino, a specialty wool known for its softness,
lightness, and warmth. Now they were branching out into casual and dressy
garments made of the same material, and aiming to become a more global brand.
The company had seemed interested in Hannah from the start. The United States
was by far the world’s largest market for fitness clothing, and she had the
knowledge and experience to help them make the move they were aiming for.

She had evaluated 2
^nd
Hemisphere, its products,
and its work environment as thoroughly as she could, both online and during her
videoconference interview, and was excited by what she had seen. It would be a
chance not only to work with a global brand, but also to work with a company
that designed and manufactured its own products, both important steps for her
ultimate goals. 

She had a job, as soon as she could get a work visa. And all
without any help, she told herself proudly. She was happier than ever now that
she had refused Drew’s offer. She imagined 2
^nd
Hemisphere would have
been even more eager to hire her if he had been involved, and shuddered at the
thought.

She typed her acceptance, then hesitated over the “Send”
key. It was a big step to accept this offer. Was she sure? She gave in to her
hesitation and dialed Susannah’s number again. It was a good thing it was Sunday.
She knew she wouldn’t be getting any work done today.

“That’s great! Congratulations!” her friend responded
enthusiastically. “Have you answered them yet?”

“No,” Hannah admitted. “I’ve worked at TriStyle for more
than seven years, Susannah. What if I don’t do as well someplace else?”

“Why?” Susannah scoffed. “Because everybody who’s been
telling you how good you are all these years is magically mistaken? Because
you’ve somehow been promoted above your competence level? Is that why TriStyle
is doing so badly? Come on, Hannah. They’re lucky to have you, and you know it.”

“I’d love to see the look on Felix’s face when you tell
him,” she added gleefully. “He’s going to have a heart attack.”