Justifiable Risk (29 page)

Eva wanted to scream
yes
at the top of her lungs, but her past failures stopped her. “I’m not any good at this relationship stuff.”

“I’m not sure anybody is. We do the best we can. Just think about what you’ve had and what you want. The answer should lie somewhere in between.”

Eva placed her hands on either side of Greer’s face and pulled her closer. “You’re amazing, and I’d like for you to kiss me now.”

Greer’s lips were as soft and tender as Eva remembered, and the moment they met hers, all her doubts vanished. She wanted this. She wanted Greer, whatever that looked like, for as long as possible. Greer’s mouth claimed hers in a flood of emotions: desire, respect, compassion, and love, all in one deeply arousing kiss. But most of all, Eva felt secure, like she belonged to this woman, in this place.

Eva scooted toward the edge of the chair, hiked her skirt up her thighs, and wrapped her legs around Greer’s waist. She could hardly contain the urges that raged inside her. But this time the ferocity of those feelings went beyond the physical. This time she and Greer shared an intimate connection that hadn’t existed before. Greer had been honest about her interest in Eva. And although Eva hadn’t committed herself verbally, she felt the same way. Greer would know that when they made love. She’d hidden her feelings from lovers in the past, but she hadn’t experienced this level of desire. Was it even possible to hide something so overwhelming?

Greer slid her hands around Eva’s back, pulled her tight against her, and stood up. Eva was amazed and turned on at her strength as she rose from the floor, lifting Eva easily from the chair. “Now?” she asked.

“Yes, now I’m taking you to bed.”

Greer eased Eva onto the side of the bed and again knelt in front of her. She flipped her shoes off and skimmed her hands up her legs and under her skirt. “You truly are gorgeous.”

Greer’s comment touched Eva. Women she’d bedded in the past hadn’t bothered to compliment her beauty, usually too preoccupied with their own. “Thank you.” She responded almost inaudibly, her breath coming in short bursts.

“May I undress you?” Greer asked.

“I wish you would, and quickly.”

Caressing her way slowly up Eva’s legs, Greer reached around and unzipped the skirt, then eased it down her body onto the floor. She kissed a delicate path from Eva’s knee to the top of her thigh, switched to the other leg and did the same, avoiding the aching pulse point between her legs. Eva groaned and Greer smiled with understanding.

“Patience.” Greer scooted Eva up on the bed, straddled her, and began to slowly, methodically unbutton her blouse. With each closure she released, Greer applied a kiss to the sensitive skin underneath. Her lips were hot and moist, like Eva’s center, and she wanted the two joined soon. The pleasurable torture was pushing her too quickly toward climax.

“I can’t take this much longer. I want you so badly.” Eva dug her fingers into the top of Greer’s shoulders and squeezed.

The last button on her blouse was just above her cleavage, and when Greer opened it, she let out a long, shaky breath. “Oh, my God—so gorgeous.” She pushed the garment off Eva’s arms and tossed it to the foot of the bed. For several seconds she stared at Eva’s breasts, captured in a beige, lacy, front-clasp bra. “This is wrong.” Greer unhooked the bra and cupped the malleable flesh in her hands. “That’s more like it.”

Greer palmed and rolled Eva’s breasts back and forth, flicking her now-erect nipples with the tip of her tongue. Eva bucked as the pressure built, desperate for contact in the one place Greer circumvented.

As Eva pled for mercy once again, Greer stretched out on top of her and pressed her ear against Eva’s chest. “Shh, I want to listen to your heart.”

Eva ran her fingers through Greer’s thick blond hair and pulled her closer. She’d never felt so appreciated as she did at this moment. Perhaps Greer’s loss of a loved one helped her fully appreciate the mere heartbeat of another. The simplicity was poetic.

“You’re amazing and so gentle.”

Greer kissed her way up Eva’s neck and nipped her ear. When Greer closed her mouth over Eva’s, she responded eagerly. She sucked Greer’s tongue in tempo to the thrusting of her hips against Greer’s still-clothed leg. Her thong was soaked but too rough against her clit. “Get undressed. I need to feel you.” Eva removed her remaining piece of clothing and waited impatiently for Greer to rejoin her.

Greer shucked her shirt off without unbuttoning it and wiggled out of her dress pants. She wore no bra or panties. Another wave of arousal engulfed Eva. She reached for Greer, who topped her again, rubbing her center against Eva’s pubic mound and staring at her with a come-and-get-me look. Greer had been patient and controlled when Eva wasn’t touching her, but that was about to end. Eva needed to reciprocate and she needed relief.

She cupped one of Greer’s breasts and squeezed. With her other hand, she slid her middle finger between Greer’s legs and stroked. “No more teasing.”

“Ye-yes, okay.” Greer stretched back on her feet, exposing her protruding clit. “Do that again. Please.” Eva complied and Greer pumped her pelvis forward and back to meet her slow caresses. “Faster.” Greer’s head was thrown back and her small breasts rocked with their motion. Eva wanted to watch Greer’s expression, to see her face, to stare into her eyes at the moment of climax, which wouldn’t be long.

“Do you like that, Detective?”

“Oh, yeah.”

The motion of Greer rubbing against her was testing Eva’s limits as well. She didn’t usually come without internal stimulation, but this would be one of many differences between Greer Ellis and every other lover she’d had. “Look at me, Greer.”

When they made eye contact, Eva gasped. Greer’s face was a canvas of transparent need. Her blue eyes were open wide, the irises pinpoints of focused desire. She looked so beautifully vulnerable as she captured her quivering bottom lip between her teeth.

“Sorry,” she breathed. “Can’t stop.”

Greer cried out and thrust her hips forward one final time before her rigid clit trembled and eventually softened under Eva’s touch. “Come with me,” she pleaded. Before Eva could respond, Greer positioned Eva’s leg between her own and entered Eva with her finger. The pace of her entry kept perfect time with her vigorous strokes against Eva’s thigh.

“Yes.” Eva moaned as the orgasm uncoiled and spiraled out to every nerve in her body. “Yes, my darling, yes.”

“You are so beautiful,” Greer whispered in Eva’s ear before another climax ripped through her. “I feel you coming. Don’t stop.” Greer’s pumping increased as she rode Eva’s thigh to another release of her own, then collapsed beside her. “Kiss me, more.”

And Eva did. She accepted the sweetness of Greer’s mouth, the tenderness of her lips, and the urgency of her tongue with the joyous knowledge that she was receiving something that only one other woman in Greer’s life had. Her doubts fully resolved, she hugged Greer closer.

“Again,” Greer said.

Eva looked at Greer’s red-streaked eyes and half-mast lids and shook her head. “First you rest, then we make love. You haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours. When we make love again, I want you to be one hundred percent because I intend to show no mercy.”

“But—”

“But nothing, Detective. No excuses.” They lay together, cuddling and kissing as Eva stroked Greer’s hair, quietly encouraging her to rest. She resisted only slightly before her breathing slowed to the steady cadence of sleep.

As Greer slept in her arms, Eva marveled at this amazing woman. How had she so firmly and seamlessly established herself in Eva’s life? Obviously, Greer had come to terms with Clare’s death and chosen to take a chance on her. Once she had made her decision, Greer was emotionally forthright and physically engaging, as if full commitment was her only option. But that was Greer—complete and total loyalty. And if Eva was honest, their interaction wasn’t simply about sex any longer for her. They had crossed a threshold, and Greer had been brave enough to admit it. But did
she
possess the courage to follow through?

She inched closer to Greer and alternated between taking short naps and thinking about her life. Her career had given her purpose and direction, but it also held her back emotionally and personally. She’d used her job as an excuse to avoid getting close. If she wanted her life to be different, she had to make different choices. Her feelings for Greer were real, she was certain. But how those feelings meshed with her world still puzzled her.

Eva sighed in frustration and Greer stirred beside her. She wanted to wake Greer with kisses, tell her exactly how she felt, and make love to her until they collapsed in exhaustion. But Greer was already fatigued after working nonstop. So instead of another round of sex, Eva watched Greer sleep and counted the minutes until she could wake her lover.

She placed her hand gently on Greer’s chest to feel the rise and fall of her breathing. The essence of life itself pounded beneath her hand. She started counting the heartbeats, but her cell phone rang and broke the peaceful calm. Reaching into her handbag beside the bed, she opened it before it woke Greer. “Hold on,” she whispered.

Slowly disentangling herself from Greer’s embrace, Eva rolled out of bed and quickly dressed. Night had brought a fall chill to the air so she grabbed the quilted comforter from the back of one of the barrel chairs, wrapped it around her, and tiptoed to the bottom of the stairs.

“It’s about time,” her boss said. She heard him exhale a big puff of cigarette smoke. “Sorry, how are you holding up?” The obligatory concern was so atypical it amused her.

“I’m fine. What’s up?”

“I’ve got an assignment that’s right up your alley—Kyrgyzstan, political unrest, the usual. Can you leave in two days?”

“Kyrgyzstan in two days? I’m not sure I can get there that soon.” Eva stretched as the muscles along her shoulders tensed. She wasn’t ready for a new assignment. Her work here wasn’t finished—and neither was her play. But her boss wasn’t the type of man you kept waiting. He’d probably had a hard time honoring her family leave and not calling sooner.

“Jesus, Saldana, what’s going on? You usually jump at a chance like this. Well, I need an answer tomorrow. If you don’t want it, I’ll have to pull somebody off another project.”

Before Eva could say anything, he hung up. She stared at the phone and shook her head. What should she do now? Paul’s case wasn’t wrapped up…and whatever was going on with Greer had barely started.

“When do you leave?” Greer’s tone made Eva wince. She had no idea how long she’d been standing there or how much she’d overheard. She quickly reviewed what she’d said aloud and knew the conclusion Greer had reached. Eva looked up at her, desperate to explain, and stopped.

Greer stood at the top of the stairs completely nude, hands clenched at her sides and her body trembling. The usual pale pink of her skin was stark white.

“I’m not sure I
am
going.”

“You said two days. It’s your job. It’s what you
do
, isn’t it?”

Greer implied that it would be wrong for Eva to take the assignment. She was stable and totally devoted to this place and these people She couldn’t understand moving from place to place for the sake of a job. But Eva didn’t know anything else. “Yes, it is what I do.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

The statement surprised Eva and her vision blurred with tears. She hadn’t expected Greer to say this. But she had been honest all night, so why would this pivotal moment be any different? “I guess I’m not as loyal as you are.”

“That’s not true.” Greer came down stairs and sat next to Eva, covering her shoulders with the edge of the comforter.

“I’ve never stuck with one thing or one person for very long.”

“You stay in touch with your family no matter where you are. You’ve held a steady job all your adult life. You came halfway around the world to clear your brother’s name. What
is
that if it’s not loyalty and commitment?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure about anything right now.”

“You’re every bit as committed as I am, Eva, but you don’t believe it. You think your father made the wrong choice and that you’re incapable of making a different one. I’m not convinced either of those things is true.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your father loved all of you. Why do you think he kept coming back? His family
was
his anchor. It allowed him to rejuvenate and return to the work he enjoyed. And like your father, only you can choose how to live your life.”

Greer’s words settled comfortably in Eva’s mind as she considered their potential. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it is possible to have a job and a life I love.”

“I just want you to be happy.” Greer raised Eva’s hand to her lips and kissed it tenderly. “Come back to bed? I’m freezing out here.”

“In a few minutes. You go on.”

Greer kissed her and ran back upstairs. “Don’t be long. It’s lonely without you.”

Since that first day, when against her professional judgment Greer offered to help her, Eva had felt a connection. It was as if she’d always belonged here and only now realized it. And Bessie was like a mother and best friend. Eva couldn’t remember when she didn’t want a life like this. But right now she needed time to think without the distraction of Greer’s warm, inviting body just steps away.