K is for Knifeball (3 page)
Read K is for Knifeball Online
Authors: Jory John
R
's for raccoon that you meet on the street. There's foam on his mouth because he's been drinking root beer floats and he probably wants to share them with you!
R
has nothing to do with rabies.
S
stands for sun that shines bright every day. How long can you stare at it? Don't look away!
T
's for tattoo. It's never too early to ink up your body and start acting surly.
T
's also for tombstone. But who is it for? Your grandmother, silly! She was found on the floor.
U
is for undies. They cover your stuff. Wash them or don't. Mostly clean's clean enough.
D
is for drifter. He's still in your house. He's wearing your shoes and your mom's nicest blouse.
V
is for veggies your parents prepare. They're guaranteed poison. All eaters beware.
W
? Washer, for T-shirts and jeans. It's also for kitty! He needs a good clean.
X
is for eXplore.
Y
IS FOR YELL AS IN SCREAM EVERY WORD. SHRIEKING'S THE EASIEST WAY TO BE HEARD.
And
Z
s are the sounds
that you make when you snore.
Rest up, little buddy,
tomorrow there's more!
We hope you've learned something you'll never forget from our little book and our alphabet. Be patient, young reader, and soon you will see: Our teachings can make you the best you can be!
With that, we are finished. Our gospel is spread. By the time that you read this, we've probably fled. To Cambodia.
They don't have an extradition treaty with the U.S.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First and foremost, thank you, dear reader, for trying everything mentioned in this book. Nice going and sorry about all your shattered bones.
Thanks to our families: Deb, Gail, Bill, and Risa. We don't like a lot of people, but we like you. We'll try to call more.
Thanks to our friends, for sticking by us even though we keep demanding that you "like" our stuff on Facebook. We know it's awful. We're sorry.
Thanks to Steven Malk, who opened up his heart, his home, and his elliptical machine to a couple knuckleheads with a dream.
A huge thanks to everyone at Chronicle Books, especially Steve, Courtney, Emily, Emilie, April, Albee, and Alison. We're so happy to be a part of the Chronicle family. Is there any chance you can get us health insurance?
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Avery Monsen and Jory John are the authors of All My Friends Are Dead, Pirate's Log: A Handbook for Aspiring Swashbucklers, I Feel Relatively Neutral About New York, and All My Friends Are Still Dead. They also created Open Letters, a comic panel which appears in newspapers across the country.
Individually, Jory also writes for newspapers and Avery performs at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York.
In their spare time, they make T-shirts at bigstonehead.net.
Follow them on Twitter: @averymonsen and @joryjohn.
You can send them letters, c/o the Kingdom of Cambodia.
's for raccoon that you meet on the street. There's foam on his mouth because he's been drinking root beer floats and he probably wants to share them with you!
Rhas nothing to do with rabies.
Sstands for sun that shines bright every day. How long can you stare at it? Don't look away!
T's for tattoo. It's never too early to ink up your body and start acting surly.
T's also for tombstone. But who is it for? Your grandmother, silly! She was found on the floor.
Uis for undies. They cover your stuff. Wash them or don't. Mostly clean's clean enough.
Dis for drifter. He's still in your house. He's wearing your shoes and your mom's nicest blouse.
Vis for veggies your parents prepare. They're guaranteed poison. All eaters beware.
W? Washer, for T-shirts and jeans. It's also for kitty! He needs a good clean.
Xis for eXplore.
YIS FOR YELL AS IN SCREAM EVERY WORD. SHRIEKING'S THE EASIEST WAY TO BE HEARD.
AndZ
s are the sounds
that you make when you snore.
Rest up, little buddy,
tomorrow there's more!
We hope you've learned something you'll never forget from our little book and our alphabet. Be patient, young reader, and soon you will see: Our teachings can make you the best you can be!
With that, we are finished. Our gospel is spread. By the time that you read this, we've probably fled. To Cambodia.
They don't have an extradition treaty with the U.S.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First and foremost, thank you, dear reader, for trying everything mentioned in this book. Nice going and sorry about all your shattered bones.
Thanks to our families: Deb, Gail, Bill, and Risa. We don't like a lot of people, but we like you. We'll try to call more.
Thanks to our friends, for sticking by us even though we keep demanding that you "like" our stuff on Facebook. We know it's awful. We're sorry.
Thanks to Steven Malk, who opened up his heart, his home, and his elliptical machine to a couple knuckleheads with a dream.
A huge thanks to everyone at Chronicle Books, especially Steve, Courtney, Emily, Emilie, April, Albee, and Alison. We're so happy to be a part of the Chronicle family. Is there any chance you can get us health insurance?
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Avery Monsen and Jory John are the authors of All My Friends Are Dead, Pirate's Log: A Handbook for Aspiring Swashbucklers, I Feel Relatively Neutral About New York, and All My Friends Are Still Dead. They also created Open Letters, a comic panel which appears in newspapers across the country.
Individually, Jory also writes for newspapers and Avery performs at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York.
In their spare time, they make T-shirts at bigstonehead.net.
Follow them on Twitter: @averymonsen and @joryjohn.
You can send them letters, c/o the Kingdom of Cambodia.
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