Kaitlyn O'Connor (16 page)

* * * *

When Loren finally managed to divert her mind from her anxiety about the reaction of the men to the possibility that they might have gotten her pregnant, it focused firmly on the fact that she hadn
‟
t had a period since she
‟
d come out of the pod. The problem was that she had no idea of how long she
‟
d been
in
the pod or how it might affect her. Stress could throw her cycle off. It rarely did, but it had happened before in the past and she thought that might account for it.

If that was the case, though, then her body should be preparing and while that was a comfort in a way, it also brought her to the problem she
‟
d been worried about—no pads and nowhere to get them!

She was going to have to whittle at the blanket Dakaar had give her, she thought unhappily.

It was almost as bad to think she
‟
d have to use something that unreliable and unsanitary as it was to think she
‟
d have to wash the damned things and reuse them unless she wanted to rip up the entire damned blanket! That wasn
‟
t going to change even if they escaped—unless she was dead…or pregnant.

My god! It sucked being a woman sometimes! Men
never
had to worry about anything like that, she thought angrily! That was why the bastards could joke about it!

Truthfully, she doubted it would bother
them
even if they had to put up with them. Not too many of them seemed to mind nasty. In point of fact, she
‟
d been around a few who seemed to have the idiotic idea that it was „manly
‟
somehow to be as disgusting as they could possibly be.

Thank
god
the Hirachi weren
‟
t crude and disgusting like that! It would
‟
ve been hell trying to ignore it…especially when she
‟
d made it a point to avoid crude, disgusting men!

Not that any of that helped her situation. She didn
‟
t like being crude and disgusting herself and she couldn
‟
t help it in this barbaric place! At the very least, she didn
‟
t see any way she could 72

avoid confessing she was on the rag—literally! It might not have been quite so bad if it was something they were used to, but she had a feeling they weren
‟
t!

Who would
‟
ve thought
some
people would be lucky enough to have built-in birth control—and could still enjoy sex in between times! How fucking unfair was that? She thought, though, that she had to conclude they cycled in three to four year increments if they were only fertile during the spawning time—which meant they couldn
‟
t have periods. That was even
more
unfair to her mind!

Especially now!

She was going to be on the damned rag, she realized in disgust,
just
about the time they finally might have a chance to actually have sex, damn it to hell!

If she hadn
‟
t been so focused on her dilemma and her frustration because of it, she might have interpreted the stilted behavior of the men the next time they visited in an entirely different way. She
was
hypersensitive about it, however, and she immediately leapt to the conclusion that that was what seemed to have radically changed their perception of her.

“Must break Lau-ren
‟
s collar,” Kael announced as soon as he
‟
d checked the corridor carefully to make certain no one else was close enough to hear. “Wait till dark.”

Loren stared at him in dismay. “Don
‟
t you think it would be better to do it when you can see better?”

His lips tightened. “Am Hirachi, no hooman. Can see,” he responded tightly.

Loren blinked at him in dismay. Anger quickly followed. “Well you don
‟
t have to be so damned nasty about it! I can
‟
t help it if I can
‟
t see a fucking thing in the dark!
We
don
‟
t have to!”

“
We
need,” Dakaar said coldly. “Sea people. Dark down dere.”

Loren stared at him in surprise and more than a little confusion. They
‟
d never seemed touchy about the fact that they were different before. “I figured that out. Remember?”

“Yes. Remember,” Balen growled. “Tell me no worry, den tell us spawn all de time…
after
we spawn!”

Loren folded her arms across her chest. “So that
‟
s it! A million, million miles from Earth—probably—and men are still men, right? A woman gets knocked up it
‟
s all her damned fault?”

“What is „knocked up
‟
?” Kael demanded sharply.

“Pregnant,” Loren retorted baldly, then added just in case they weren
‟
t familiar with that term, “breeding.”

He paled. “Lau-ren pregnant?”

“No, I
‟
m not pregnant!” she snapped. “I don
‟
t know why in the hell men think they
‟
re so god damned good all they have to do is stick their dick in and spit and „behold
‟
they
‟
ve done it!

Maybe your seed didn
‟
t recognize my egg! Ever think about that?”

“No tink. You did,” Kael said angrily. “Mayhap we right an
‟
you wrong? Lau-ren tink about dat?”

Loren felt the sudden urge to cry because it was true and she knew they weren
‟
t going to believe her if she lied and said it wasn
‟
t. She
‟
d thought she
‟
d hid her prejudice well. Obviously, she hadn
‟
t. It was almost worse that she still believed they couldn
‟
t possibly get her pregnant even though she
‟
d come to realize that she
‟
d completely misjudged them—because she
‟
d come to realize she didn
‟
t want it to be true. “Go away!” she said angrily because she couldn
‟
t think of a defense. “And don
‟
t come back, because I
‟
m not going any damned where with any of you!”

73

“Dis not reasonable!” Kael said angrily when she
‟
d stalked away from the door and flopped down on her bed, glaring at the far wall and ignoring them.

She was tempted to simply ignore him altogether, but she
wanted
to fight. “I
‟
m a woman! I don
‟
t have to be reasonable! I can be just as damned unreasonable as I want to be, god damn it!

And
who
says it isn
‟
t reasonable anyway? Maybe
I
think I
‟
ll be better off here!”

“Lau-ren die here!” Kael said harshly. “Die sooner keep yelling!”

“I don
‟
t care!” she said childishly, and it was the truth, at that moment anyway.

“I care,” Kael growled.

“I also,” Dakaar and Balen said almost at the same time.

Loren felt her chin wobble with incipient tears. “No, you don
‟
t!” she snapped. “You just want to take the pussy along!”

“Might be baby,” Dakaar said coaxingly.

Loren whipped her head around and narrowed her eyes at him. “You
asshole
!” she growled.“I
knew
it had to be something like that!” Surging up from the bed, she looked for something to throw at them and discovered the cell was virtually bare of potential missiles. She snatched the comb up that Balen had given her and threw it at the bars and then stalked to the shower area and jerked the blanket down, balled it up, and pitched it at them, and then took her loincloth off and hurled that.

The first two objects hit the bars and fell on the floor. She managed to hit Kael square in the face with the loincloth, though. It stunned her almost as much as it did him, but it didn
‟
t take either of them more than a moment to recover. Kael glared at her thunderously. She glared back at him, confident he couldn
‟
t get to her no matter how pissed off he was.

“I come back when dark,” he said through his teeth. “An
‟
I break dat ting if have to take door down!”

“Assholes!” she flung at them angrily when they turned and stalked off. Not one of the stupid brutes had even
tried
to convince her he cared anything at all about her!

Because they didn
‟
t!

Flinging herself down on the bed, she gave vent to all the tears she
‟
d been storing up since she
‟
d been taken. She did her best to muffle the wrenching sobs because she didn
‟
t want them to know
she
cared when they didn
‟
t, but she couldn
‟
t control the sobs once she let go. They tore at her chest and throat painfully and the tears seemed endless. No matter how many times she tried to calm herself and sniff them back, they started all over again the moment she thought about how completely mistaken she
‟
d been about them! The bastards! All this time she
‟
d thought they were so sweet because they really cared about her and it was nothing more than sucking up to get their hands on the damned pussy!

That just went to show how absolutely
stupid
women were to ever think differently! Men never thought
you
were anything but a walking pussy with an annoying woman attached! And they were all the same, where ever you went! They were
just
as bad as her ex-boyfriend, she thought angrily. He
‟
d just hung around until he could secure another source before he dumped her!

She never actually managed to get her emotions under control. She wept until she
‟
d completely exhausted herself and passed out, snuffling for breath because she
‟
d cried until her nose was stopped up. She came to when a hand settled over her face that cut off what little air 74

she managed to suck in through her mouth. Fear of suffocation instantly became her entire focus and she began clawing frantically and the hand, fighting for air. Despite her panic, her efforts to free her mouth were futile.

Darkness danced in her mind and her arms grew weaker and heavier until she lost any ability to fight at all. Fortunately, when her arms dropped limply the hand was removed—jerked away actually.

“You
‟
re smothering her!” Kael growled.

“You said to cover her mouth so she couldn
‟
t scream!” Dakaar said angrily.

“You covered her whole face! How did you expect her to breathe! Through your pores?”

“Shit! I didn
‟
t realize….”

Kael shook his head. “She
‟
s alright. We need to get done.” Pushing her head back, he carefully measured the circumference and found the spot. Doubt flickered through him—not that it hadn
‟
t every time he
‟
d done it, but Lau-ren
‟
s collar was smaller and he wasn
‟
t as certain as he wanted to be. After a moment, he decided he had to risk removing the cover to be sure. “Cover her throat so I don
‟
t burn her.”

Dakaar settled his hands on either side of the collar, carefully covering the delicate skin. He couldn
‟
t help but worry that the sound was traveling through the metal, though, when his hands began to burn and then worry that the collar itself might strangle her when it began to twist from the heat. To his relief, the cover popped free just about the time the pain became nearly intolerable. It took no more than a moment, then, to destroy the tiny chip and the collar, fortunately, was still soft enough from the heat that they managed to straighten if enough they hoped it wouldn
‟
t be noticeable that they
‟
d tampered with it.