Karma (20 page)

Sunday
night Marcy locked her bedroom door.

Katie
and I live with Mike,
she thought, realizing that
she was happier than she had been in a very long time. She had still been
having regular dreams of her mother, but they were no longer urgent or
disturbing. Her mom nodded and smiled in her dreams now. She seemed pleased
with Marcy.

This
was no surprise. Marcy was pleased with herself.

Marcy's
friend,
Amber, and her daughter, Samantha
had moved back in with Amber's mother now that her lease on the condo had
expired. It had all worked out as well as could be expected. Amber was one of
the few single mothers Marcy knew who rarely drank and never even smoked an
occasional joint.

That alone had made them firm friends.

Being a single mother was a rough life - not for the weak or faint
hearted. Tough women had literally died with the stress of it. Many single mothers
without money and social support self-medicated with illegal drugs or overused
alcohol.

Why wouldn't they? It seemed a solution when one was trying to get
one's head into the right state. How else could they get up every day when a
mountain of unsolvable problems were crushing them?

While Marcy sympathized, to her using drugs or having regular alcoholic
binges were lines that shouldn’t be crossed. It was too easy to succumb to temporary
relief.

Marcy had met Amber when she started working at the Bellagio eight
months previously. Amber had needed another roommate, which is how Marcy had
moved into her rented condo with her. Their daughters, Katie and Sam had become
firm friends at first sight.

As much as Amber's mom annoyed the hell out of Amber, she was good
to her granddaughter, Sam. Their condo had been close to school, but from her
grandmother's house it was a long drive to school twice a day. Because of that,
at the end of the school year, poor Sam would have to change schools again. But
at least she would be going back to the one she had attended previously.

Marcy's daughter had changed schools after Marcy had sold her
mother's house. For Katie, a new school was just another big trial in her young
life. Katie stoically adjusted to everything and didn't complain, but Marcy
knew that she had been having a difficult time. Sam was a year older than
Katie, but was Katie's best friend.

Marcy had discussed with Mike the plan of having Samantha over
regularly to visit. Amber was welcome as well, when she had time off work at
the casino. They talked on the phone almost every day. Her friend was happy for
Marcy's good fortune.

"You go, girl," Amber had told Marcy. "You deserve a
guy like Mike. Just be sure to set me up with any unmarried brothers, will you?"
They had laughed at that. Marcy told Amber that she was out of luck, because
Mike's only unmarried brother was gay.

Marcy
took a deep breath. She wasn't going to forget her friend. Maybe Mike knew
someone for Amber?

Realizing
that she was procrastinating, Marcy brought out André's bag of tricks. Then she
tipped them onto the bed. There was quite a display of stuff including nipple
clamps, vibrators, four DVD's and a letter.

Ma
Belle,

It
is an honor to assist you. Be assured that you are quite normal and will soon
experience your first orgasm. Study the pictures and technical information
concerning the common erogenous zones of a woman's body. Thoroughly learn the
details, if you please. A woman can climax using any of these areas. (See
attached list 'A' for erogenous zones).

Marcy
flipped to list A which had detailed drawings and suggestions of what to do
with each. This included pictures of how to use different vibrators. It took
her some time to go through these. André said to be thorough so there was no room
for embarrassment. This was important. It was about her future happiness with
Mike.

It
was about his happiness too, because Mike would never be content unless she was
able to climax.

Marcy
took her clothes off and went to a mirror to check out her own parts as
compared with the manual. The G-spot was a circular spot, about five
centimeters past the clitoris. It could be found on the inner upper wall of the
vagina, facing toward the pubic bone. When stimulated it often gave the urge to
pee.

If
a woman was aroused the G-spot became thicker and coarse. Otherwise it apparently
felt the same as the rest of her vagina.

A
woman was supposed to get an idea of the G-spot through leg raisers, or certain
other abdominal exercises, like Pilates abdominal curl-ups. Marcy did a few of
each, trying to get a mental picture of the mysterious spot. She thrust her
hips up, while arching and tilting her pelvis forward, rounding as if into a
ball.

This
was supposed to work the elusive G-spot erogenous zone.

If
she had access to a pole, the suggestion was to hold on to the pole and
physically raise one's feet off the ground. The clitoris would be in contact
with the pole, which was good. Even better however, while curling the hips and
pelvis upward and bending forward, it stimulated both the clitoris and the G-spot.

Hmmm.
Mental note. Take up pole dancing.

She
was uncertain about the G-spot, but she was pretty sure she could use a
vibrator on where it was supposed to be.

Lips
were at the top of the list of most important female erogenous zones. Not the
labia, the folds of her nether lips. Mouth lips... that door to heavenly bliss.

That
didn't surprise her. When Mike kissed her with his driving passion it made her
melt and want to fold into him. Other erogenous area were b
reasts,
nipples, vagina, clitoris, G-spot, anus, buttocks, inner thighs, behind the knees,
nape of neck, ears, wrists and feet.

Huh.
Ok.
She kept reading.

The
DVD's are French erotica specifically ménage, vanilla sex (including anal)
Domination (Female in control) and submission (Female controlled). With an open
mind please watch these and pay close attention to your body. There are many
ways for a woman to achieve orgasm. Desire begins in a woman's mind, yet first
you must discover what arouses you. (See list 'B' for evidence of arousal).

Marcy
flipped to the list of how one can tell if a woman is aroused.
Hmmm.
Flushed
skin, pupil dilation, elevated breathing, elevated pulse, swollen erect
nipples, swollen breasts, vaginal lubrication, blood moving to vagina creating
swelling and enlargement, swollen labia, change in color of labia, swollen and erect
clitoris.
Alrightly then!

Trust
that you are a normal woman with a normal body. There is no shame, no need for
concern. If you apply yourself, you can and will do this. With constant
practice many women learn to climax at will from only their lover's command.

You
mentioned that you crave the intimacy and connection that comes from love and
communication. Part of an orgasm for you may be achieved through making such an
honest skin-to-skin, soul-to-soul connection. Knowing that your lover
understands you, and you understand him is important. Meeting the eyes of your
partner during love making may be an example of this.

Does
watching an erotic video arouse you? Or reading an erotic book? Do you imagine
your lover doing these acts with you? To you? To him? Which acts in particular
stimulate you? Make a note of these.

Does
the idea of you arousing your partner excite you? Does the thought of wearing
erotic apparel or perhaps displaying yourself for his pleasure interest you? Do
you enjoy seeing him come, even more than a climax of your own? Many women
reach fever pitch at the idea of their partner using their bodies until they achieve
orgasm. With some, the sight, smell or taste of a man's cum will trigger
climax.

Think
of kissing and touching. Do you feel aroused when you touch, taste or smell the
object of your desire? Or when he touches you?

See
list 'C' for specific details of how women masturbate.

Bonne
fortune
, ma belle,

André

Good
fortune, or good luck, he wrote. This sentiment warmed her and she smiled. André
even wrote with a French accent. For the hundredth time Marcy thanked God that
she had resisted temptation and hadn't taken that $100 bill.

If
she had taken it, she would have never met André. If she hadn’t met André she
would have never known Mike. And then where would she be?

Marcy
briefly read through an internet printout giving a detailed DIY.

Apparently
women could have a clitoral orgasm – which was easiest. They could also have a
vaginal (G-spot) orgasm, which was more difficult, or both simultaneously which
was apparently mind-blowing. Marcy would be more than happy with a little
clitoral orgasm to start.

The
DIY suggested a safe space, dim lights and such to create the right mood, and
soaping her erogenous zones in the shower. Determined – Marcy went to the
shower.

When
she returned she put the normal sex DVD in, got comfortable and began to watch
it. The video began with a man and woman eating dinner – fully dressed. The man
was built and handsome, the woman blonde and beautiful. The man began playful
overtures, touching and kissing. Unlike Trent's porn, Marcy found their sexy interaction
a serious turn-on.

The
couple teased and kissed and laughed, looking into each other's eyes with lust
and longing and love. These had to be actual lovers, not actors - the intimacy
was too powerful to be otherwise. She could see it in the man's eyes; this
woman was not just sexually desired. She was valued, special and respected. She
mattered
to him.

Now
that is temperature raising, burning, flaming hot.

She
lay down on her back and got comfortable.
While
watching she used her finger in a feather-like touch between her legs. She
delicately moved, going round and round, up and down, and side to side on her
clitoris. The idea was just to see how it felt, and notice what made her feel
good.

The
G-spot didn't have to be touched. Apparently if the woman tilted her pelvis in
a particular way, it would work exactly where the G-spot was. Pushing down with
one's heels and arching up while masturbating the clit would make it react.
Bending in a certain way while riding a man when on top could cause a G-spot
spasm.

The
man on the video kissed – oh did he kiss! He kissed that woman until her lips
were red and swollen, and then he kissed down her neck, and behind her ear.
That God-like hottie showered the woman with kisses, while stroking her
breasts. It made Marcy heat up like the fires of Hell, particularly when she remembered
Mike's super erotic kisses.

Marcy
found her breathing and pulse had increased. The video helped, but in her mind
she was imagining Mike doing those things to her. Sex in this video was
playful, fun and intimate. It was nothing like the sex she had experienced with
her ex.

When
the man began to suck the woman's breast, Marcy pulled at her own nipples,
imagining Mike doing that. He licked lower, spreading her and sucking in her
clitoris and licking her neither lips. Marcy paused the video.

Trent
never went down on her. The one time he did he told her that she stunk like the
tuna they had fed their cat, Tommy. She had forgotten that, but it had
disturbed her for some time. He made her overly neurotic concerning her own cleanliness,
and anxious about her scent.
Asshole.

She
restarted the DVD. Speaking of asshole, the man in the video had his finger up hers!
Marcy wasn't sure what she thought about that, but the woman certainly seemed
to like it.

Marcy
fast forwarded until the woman went down on the man. This she could do. She was
on safer ground with a blow job. Marcy felt confident that she could please
Mike with oral sex. She also had a strong yearning to do so, and made a note of
it.

On
the advice of the DIY advice sheet she inserted a couple of fingers inside her
vagina. She was wet, quite wet – so that was good. The sensation of her fingers
around her opening was pleasurable, so she touched herself there, circling for
some time.

With
her fingers inside herself, she tightened and relaxed her vaginal muscles in
rapid succession. It felt… interesting. These vaginal contractions were
apparently what happened when a woman experienced an orgasm. It had never
happened to her before. Trying to become familiar with the feeling, she
continued to work her vaginal muscles.

Tighten,
relax. Tighten, relax. This is what it will feel like. Mike will be inside me,
not my fingers. It must create an amazing sensation on a man's cock, to be
squeezed in rapid pulsing contractions like that.

It
was a kind of revelation to her, how a human body worked to create pleasure to
both man and woman from the reproductive act. The thought of giving Mike a
child ratcheted up her arousal. But could he have children? Mike was protective
and loving and a good provider.

He
was such a good father to Katie already.

The
moisture she had, when spread over her clit felt good, so she practiced with
that. When she did, a warm sensation began to build low in her belly.
Yes.
She varied the speed and intensity of her finger movement, just as the man on
the video was doing.

Touching
her breasts seemed a bit silly. Determined, Marcy ignored any little voices
telling her that she was too stupid on the subject of sex or telling her that
she was a failure. Or that she was frigid and that she would never figure it
out.

She
even heard a little voice tell her "This is wrong," and "You are
a bad girl" which surprised her. Where did that come from? Was that the
voice of her father? Or some religious indoctrination?

Still
inhibited, but getting over it,
she decided.
Tomorrow
I'll try a vibrator.

Marcy
watched the entire video and played with herself the whole time. It felt good,
but she never experienced anything specific. Just a pleasurable aching pulse.
Close but no cigar. She checked her notes so far of what aroused her:

Intimacy
and connection. Love and communication. Kissing, smiling, fun. Kissing – kissing
is just too amazing. Lots of kissing. Mike's scent, the feel of him hard against
me. Going down on Mike. Making Mike climax. Nipples. Breasts. Clitoris.
Fingering around the opening of her vagina. Giving Mike a baby…

Now
there was an idea
.

It
was a natural desire, she supposed, to have a child with the one she loved. Was
Mike incapable of fathering a child? Was that why he avoided discussing it? She
and Mike had talked on almost every topic, but he never brought up the subject
of having children. The one time he mentioned it he looked so sad. So wounded.

She
believed in honesty, but Marcy didn't want to hurt him. He would talk to her
about it when he was ready.

Satisfied
with what she had achieved so far, she put her things away, washed her hands,
brushed her teeth and got into a nightie. She wrote a note to herself to
download something really steamy to read on her Kindle.

Pleased
with her progress, Marcy shut her eyes and drifted off to sleep.