Katana (31 page)

“I’m sorry,” I told him.

“It wasn’t just my brother and me,” he continued. “None of us got the opportunity to become what we were meant to. Our destinies were stolen from us. To be killed on the battlefield is one thing … but to be betrayed! And now that I have a new life, I’ve found my soul mate, and I’m happy—but now Zeami’s back.” He swallowed hard. “Will he take it all away again?”

I balled my hands into fists. He’d been a kid when he died. How was he supposed to deal with such trauma? Adults were put on Prozac for much less. As if it wasn’t bad enough that Braden was haunted by the ghosts of his past, now one of the ghosts had become more. A real live monster. It was then, I realized, that the whole time I had been looking to Kim and the others for answers, they needed the same from me. “I won’t let that happen,” I said.

He nodded and seemed to take comfort in that.

“Braden, were we close? In the past, I mean.”

He smiled. “In the last life, Yorimichi and I grew up on a farm, the youngest of five children.” His eyes lost their focus as he drifted into his memories. “We were just old enough that our father insisted we start working around the farm, but Yorimichi and I weren’t interested. We wanted to be samurai. It was an impossible dream. Our social status wouldn’t allow it. That didn’t stop us from dreaming about leaving the farm and fighting.”

Braden’s smile wavered. “You know how they say to be careful what you wish for? During the land wars, our farm was attacked while Yorimichi and I were out in the fields pretending to be samurai. When it grew dark, we arrived home to find our family dead and our home reduced to a pile of ashes. You and Kim saved us. During your pursuit of the invaders, you found us huddled together with our stick swords and brought us to Lord Toyotomi.”

I didn’t say anything. Braden’s story took strength to tell. Soft words would only take away from what he gave.

He took a deep breath and continued. “You went to Lord Toyotomi and requested to personally oversee our samurai training. The request, I’m sure, did little to help improve your standing with the other samurai. If it weren’t for you, Rileigh, I don’t know where we would have ended up. You, Yoshido, and Seiko were our teachers, our guardians, and … our family.”

I couldn’t tell him I was sorry for everything that happened to him in the past. He wasn’t looking for sympathy. “I’m glad you told me,” I said. “I hope we can be just as close again.”

“Me, too,” he said. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn’t want to scare you. It’s not as bad as you would think.”

“What’s not?”

“Dealing with the past. It’s hard at first, with all those old memories feeling like they just happened yesterday. But you’ll learn pretty fast how to put the pain behind you.”

“Unless it’s a pain in the ass,” Drew said as he and Kim walked back into the dojo. He pulled a handkerchief out of his back pocket and wiped his hands off. “Especially if that pain in the ass follows you into the next life.”

“I alerted the Network,” Kim said, “and my request to eliminate the threat was approved. Braden, I need to get Rileigh and Q out of here. Drew, I need you to gather the weapons.” He turned to leave, but I stepped into his path. He didn’t bother to hide his surprise.

“Wait. This is ridiculous. You can’t seriously go after him.” I pointed at the empty crate. “This Zeami guy, he’s obviously a nut-job.”

He placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Rileigh, this dojo is just a front.
This
is what we do.” He smiled. “Some say that the samurai are cursed to be reborn into every new life as samurai.”

“But you don’t have to go after him.”

His smiled melted. “This is personal. I’ve waited a lifetime to settle this debt.”

“What if something happens to you?”

“Then I die with great honor.”

I crossed my arms. “That’s stupid.”

“You didn’t used to think so.” A smile tugged on the corners of his mouth. “Would it really matter to you anyway? If I died?”

I opened my mouth to tell him no, but the words wouldn’t come. What was it about Kim Gimhae that he could infuriate me at every encounter—yet the thought of losing him twisted fear, like ribbons of barbed wire, around my heart?

Kim laughed when I didn’t say anything. “That’s what I thought.”

“Let me go after Zeami with you!” I said.

He gave me a sad smile. “If you had transcended, I would allow it. You are a gifted fighter, the best I have trained. But you haven’t unlocked all of your skills yet. And you haven’t trained enough without them. There is no way I can risk it.”

“But what if
I
want to risk it?”

He shook his head. “That’s not your call to make.”

I dropped his hands and balled my fingers into fists, making sure to stand up to every inch of my small frame. “This psycho is after me, and if he hurts Michelle or anyone else who’s looking for him, it’s going to be my fault. How does all of that make this
your
call?”

Kim cocked an eyebrow. “Rank. More experience. The government. Do you need more?” I opened my mouth to answer, but he cut me off. “Listen to me!” All traces of amusement had left his voice. “I lost you once because I was not prepared. I will not make the same mistake twice!”

All I could do was blink.

“I’m sorry.” He turned away, but not before I could see the pain in his expression. “Take whatever you want from the weapon wall. Just please go.”

Fine. I wouldn’t argue with him, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. I tried to storm off, but he caught me by the elbow.

He leaned in and I felt his lips brush against my ear. “Thank you,” he whispered.

He stepped in front of me and cupped my face in his hands. “Thank you for trusting me. I swear on my life that I will not let anyone or anything take you from me.” He leaned over and his breath, warm on my neck, made me shiver. “I love you, Rileigh.”

Without giving me a chance to respond, he turned on his heels, motioning for the guys to follow, and left the dojo.

35

K
im had said he loved me. And now he was gone.

My heart felt like a stone, puncturing organs and twisting nerves as it sank inside of my body, anchoring me to the overstuffed loveseat in Braden’s living room. There were too many feelings coursing through me to figure out which were mine and which were Senshi’s. My head hurt. I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to continue sinking down into the cushion until the couch swallowed me whole.

Sitting next to me, Quentin huffed as he played with the chain on his wallet. No one had spoken during the thirty minutes it took us to get to the small, one-story brick ranch in the St. Louis suburb of Webster Groves where Braden lived.

“Well.” Braden slapped his hands against his legs as he sat on the couch opposite us. “No use bringing the bags in, as we might be leaving tonight.”

I nodded, not really paying attention. Instead, I thought about Kim. Actually, it was more like worried. Zeami had killed everyone before. If something happened to Kim … No. I wouldn’t let myself think about that.

I glanced at Braden and found him staring at the ceiling while chewing on his lower lip. Apparently I wasn’t the only one worried. “I’m sure it’s going to be fine. Kim will get Michelle back,” I told him.

He laughed nervously. “Of course. They’re all skilled fighters. It’s not like this is the first elimination mission we’ve gone on.”

Quentin’s eyes widened, and I couldn’t help feeling just as surprised.

His head snapped straight. “I don’t think I should have said that.”

I shrugged, hoping my face wasn’t as pale as it felt. “I’m sorry you’re stuck babysitting me.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not
babysitting
you. Besides, Kim is right—I’d be dangerous on this mission.”

“Because you’re worried about Michelle?” I asked.

He swallowed and seemed to consider the question. “I’m trying not to be. Drew is an exceptional fighter and Kim is one of the best in the world. But now they’re up against Zeami. I can’t help but think about how that turned out last time.”

I had to change the subject. The thought that something might happen to Michelle, Drew, or Kim twisted my insides. “Do you spend much time with Michelle?”

He smiled. “Every day since she transcended.”

“Every day?” Quentin asked.

“Yep. Even though we’d avoid his twenty billion questions, it would almost be a shame to bail before my dad gets home from work. He’s always harping on me about how I need to spend time with people other than Michelle. He just doesn’t get it and he never will.” Braden bit his lip again. “Are you worried about Kim?”

“Yes,” Quentin answered before I could. He folded his arms and leaned back in the couch with a smile. “Are you worried about Kim, Ri-Ri?”

I made a face at him. He knew how uncomfortable I got discussing relationships.

“Are
you worried?” Braden echoed.

I could feel myself sinking deeper into the couch. I didn’t know what I was. My emotions were stacked like a game of Jenga, each fighting for the top position, each threatening to bring me to collapse. “I don’t know … maybe a little.”

Braden stared at me for a moment before replying. “Maybe it was because I was a child in the last life, but I don’t think I remember ever seeing you scared before.”

“Not one to wear her heart on her sleeve, our Ri-Ri,” Quentin said.

“Unless she’s angry,” Braden added.

Quentin laughed.

“Hey!” I said. But then I thought about it and shrugged. He had a point. “That may be, but I don’t think I can remember a time when I had so much at stake.”

“You have feelings for him.” Braden grinned.

I laughed, but it sounded more like a yelp. “Honestly? I’m so mixed up, I don’t know how I feel about anything.”

He gave me a sympathetic look. “The whole soul mate thing—you just can’t fight it.” He shrugged. “But who’d want to?”

“Pretty hot, then?” Quentin asked.

“You have no idea.” Braden smirked.

“Gotta find
my
soul mate,” Quentin mumbled. He shifted in the couch so he could face me. “Would you rather you didn’t know?”

“What do you mean?”

“This soul mate thing seems a lot like destiny. Like this is the path you have to take, and this is the person you have to be with. I, for one, would love some hottie to show up on my door and say, ‘Guess what, we’re soul mates.’ But I can imagine how you, Ms. Do-It-My-Way-Or-The-Highway, would have major issues with it.”

I frowned at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” When I’d kissed Kim in the bathroom it felt like the rest of the world had dropped away. Even time didn’t exist. I could see him as he used to be and as he was now at the same time. If that wasn’t possession, what else could it be?

“Love,” Quentin answered.

I sat up straight.
“What
did you say?”

“Love,” he repeated. “You told me you didn’t know what we were talking about so I decided to clue you in.”

“Oh.” I blinked several times, relieved he hadn’t been able to read my thoughts.

Quentin turned back to Braden. “When do you think we’ll hear something?”

As if in answer, my cell phone began to ring. Braden and Quentin both leaned forward, straining to glimpse the number on the screen, a number I didn’t recognize. I answered anyway. “Hello?”

“Hey, Rileigh. It’s Whitley. You are one hard girl to get ahold of.”

I widened my eyes at Quentin. “Hi,
Whitley.”
I emphasized his name so the entire room could hear.

Braden narrowed his eyes in confusion, and Quentin walked over and whispered in his ear.

I turned my attention back to the phone. “Sorry about that. My life has been a little crazy lately.”

There was a pause on the other end. “That kind of leads me to my next question. Are you in some kind of trouble?”

A lump formed in my throat, and I struggled to swallow around it. “Trouble?” I gave a nervous laugh. “What do you mean by that?”

“I got some weird note delivered to my house. It warned me to stay away from you. You don’t have some crazy ex-boyfriend or something, do you?”

“Something like that,” I mumbled. I put my hand over the receiver and hissed, “Whitley got a threatening note, too!”

Braden sat forward. “We need that note!”

“We do?”

He nodded. “It might give us a clue to where Zeami is.”

“Okay.” I removed my hand from the receiver.

“Rileigh, I thought we had a good time the other night and then I don’t hear from you,” Whitley continued. “First I was bummed. I’d assumed I’d been rejected. But then I get this note and realize there’s a lot more going on. I’m worried about you. Is there something I can do to help?”

“Actually, yes,” I answered. “I’m staying with a friend in Webster Groves. Is there any way you can bring that note over? It might help.”