KATE GOSSELIN: HOW SHE FOOLED THE WORLD - THE RISE AND FALL OF A REALITY TV QUEEN (37 page)

People magazine deputy managing editor Peter Castro told “Good Morning America” that the situation is “the portrait of an American family crumbling.” “They don’t hate each other,” he said,
but
“Jon did not want any part of counseling; he wanted out of this marriage.”

Now, any reasonable person would have to ask this question:
How in the Hell would Peter Castro from
People
magazine know the first thing about what Jon Gosselin did or did not want?
He was simply regurgitating the untruths that had been fed to him by a “source.” Count Mr. Castro as just another pawn under Discovery’s control.

Discovery’s handling and control of Jon and Kate’s divorce was the deciding factor as to why Kate Gosselin is a millionaire and living in a mansion today, and Jon Gosselin is broke and struggling to make ends meet.

“… I need you to know, don’t believe what you read

unless you hear it from that person.
”

– Kate Gosselin

Kate’s journal is her collection of notes that she used to write her books,
Multiple Blessings
and
I Just Want You To Know – Letters To My Kids On Love, Faith, and Family
. I know this because I read every word in her journal over a two-day period. In doing research for this book, I also read her published works.

As I mentioned previously, I found Kate’s journal while looking at information burned onto computer discs she had thrown in the trash. I fully understand and expect that some will question the authenticity of these journal entries. I can assure you they are genuine and will tell you that these same computer discs hold close to 5,000 Gosselin family photos and many, many personal documents and mementos, including tax and business records and personal and business contracts, all created, dated and burned to disc years before I ever heard the name Kate Gosselin.

For those who question whether her journal exists at all, Kate mentions it herself in this interview with
Cupcake MAG
, whose tagline seems very appropriate for a Kate Gosselin interview: “All things sugar coated & the sweet desire of fashion.”

“
I Just Want You To Know was the combining of my journal I kept nearly daily while still married and before (Jon &) Kate plus 8 was a household name
. It describes my struggles of that time with 8 young kids…”

Kate also describes her journal on page 176 of
I Just Want You To Know
:

Reading
I Just Want You To Know
was like reading her journal, in the same order, except that the published book was edited and polished by an editor who was skilled enough to make Kate sound like a decent human being. Now a word of caution: some of Kate’s thoughts and writings are very disturbing, especially when she talks about harming her children. What shocked me the most as a parent was the fact that Kate would be foolish enough to actually document the beatings and humiliation she inflicted upon her children and husband – as if it were normal behavior – even in a place she thought was private. Surely she would have to consider that someday, someone besides herself might find her journal and read it. Unfortunately for the Gosselin children, this is their
normal
, as Kate reminds us over and over again.

Some might find Kate’s actions to be normal parenting. It’s up to you to decide. Keep in mind that the sextuplets were two years old at that point in time. My personal view on corporal punishment is that it should never be used to teach or discipline a child. Parenting is hard work, no doubt about it, but there are a hundred ways to teach discipline without becoming physical. I do believe, however, that Kate has the right to discipline her children in any way she sees fit, as long as that discipline does not cause them physical or emotional harm. But I don’t believe she has the right to lie and blame Jon and the divorce for the kids’ anger issues. The kids are angry and violent because that is how they were raised – with Kate’s anger and violence imprinted upon them.

Kate’s
words are “an intimate look at the heart of a mother.”

July 2006

Kate wrote that she was less than patient with her kids today. She gets so tired that her fuse is almost non existent according to her. She knows that it’s not fair to her children to have an impatient mother and she is aware of what she is doing when she is doing it. She wishes that she could stop and become patient.

July 2006

In detailing a trip, Kate writes that they had a great time. She said that the kids, with the exception of one of the twins who received a spanking when they got home for her behavior, were all well behaved and had fun!

July 2006

Kate said that little Alexis got injured and Collin brought her a drink without being asked to. She thought it was nice of him and she praised him because according to her he gets more negative attention than positive. She said he is so naughty and she really doesn’t know how to handle him!!!!! She says that she needs to show him more love!!!!!

July 2006

Kate is sad because one of the twins commented to Jon and her separately about why Kate doesn’t play with them. She made a sad face in her journal
.


July 2006

A memorable Sunday in the Gosselin house today according Kate. They didn’t go to church of course but they cleaned the house and she and Jon didn’t argue at all!!!!!

July 2006

The family went shopping at Target and got the usual stares. Most of the kids were very good except for one of the twins who was grouchy so she received a few spankings with something Kate calls ‘the spanker’ that has been added to the family van’s emergency supply stash!!!! The spanked girl eventually happied up according to Kate.

July 2006

Kate used many exclamation points when discussing getting a glass of wine with dinner!!!!!

(Tummy tuck operation at Dr. Glassman’s in New York)

August 2006

Kate and Jon stayed at hotel. She said the hotel is okay but seems very busy and the staff is not very nice. She can’t complain though because they don’t have to foot the bill. This is just another gracious gift from the Lord!

August 2006

Kate was grouchy because she didn’t have breakfast or coffee. Nothing was written about her receiving a spanking though.

Kate realized that she and Jon rarely ever kiss because Jen the producer was excited about them filming their first on camera kiss like it was a milestone.

August 2006

Kate writes about the twins going off to kindergarten and that she’ll feel sad and lonely and she is upset that this is a control issue that she can’t control. She’s excited to have her afternoons to herself now that the girls will be gone. She talks about how the kids love Jon and how much Jon loves his kids. More praying to God about asking for things and receiving them. “You have not because you ask not.”

September 2006

Kate admits that she was a horrible mo
mmy today and that she failed all the way. She was absolutely awful to Collin because apparently he was awful to her. She says that he does things just to irritate her. He’s only two years old and Kate is beside herself because she can’t ‘control’ him. She told him to sit in the corner a million times and he disregarded her. She admits to being to rough with him in front of the girls. She says she feels guilty for treating him like that and will try to be a better mommy tomorrow.

She says she can’t explain it but she needs to pray for her relationship with Collin. She does love him but she doesn’t understand him. She can’t understand or explain his frustration and she doesn’t know what he wants. He just starts shrieking and she ignores him a lot. She admits that Collin is a sweet, cute and
smart boy but she just doesn’t understand him! She prays to the Lord for her to be able to understand him and to feel only love for him. She asks the Lord to help her to be slow to wrath with him. She also prays for help to be able to take time to play with her children.

September 2006

Kate talks about
her bliss-less childhood and adult life and how much she loved her grandparents.

September 11, 2006

Kate takes time out of her busy schedule on the five year anniversary of 9/11 to remember “the Sept 11 bombings or whatever.”

September 2006

(The first day of school was really two weeks before.)

Kate discusses the fake filming of the twins first day of school
which was actually two weeks prior. She also is frustrated that the twins are too smart for the class that they’re in right now.

September 2006

God is comforting Kate throughout the grocery store when she shops, telling Kate to buy what she needs in the quantities that she needs. He’ll take care of everything. This makes Kate feel at peace so that’s good for the kids.

September 2006

Kate writes about getting another free dinner from their best friends the Carsons and that she doesn’t want to steal their joy so she lets them pay.

September 2006

Uh oh. Another official horrible mother day for Kate. She yelled at the kids all day and said things to them that she regrets
. She thinks the kids think that she’s a terrible witch and she feels like she is as well. Once again, she’ll try to be better tomorrow because she realizes that her children are a gift to her. She asks the Lord again to be a patient and loving mother and not to be so mean and a yelling, crazy mother. She asks the Lord to remind her when she gets out of line.

September 2006

This was a strange entry in the journal. Kate went from being sad and emotional because she didn’t visit her grandma in the last few days of her life, to getting the phone call from Jon that she had passed away, to wanting to skip going to a parade with the kids and instead going shopping for and getting some ‘retail therapy’ by buying some new jeans and pants at Old Navy. She goes on talk about how skinny she
looks in them and how Jon panted at the sight of her.

October 2006

Kate and Jon and the twins were in NYC heading to the American Girls store when they were inconvenienced by a Hispanic parade near the store. Then
a big black bodyguard told them they would have to wait in line like everyone else in the store. He shares the joy of being waved in front of all the other families to the front of the line so they could be seated first. She wished that she could see the look on the black man’s face.

October 2006

Another very ugly day today. Kate screamed at Jon in the hallway at church and a lady was shocked at her behavior. The pastor gave a good message about marriages and Kate realized that she cannot talk ugly to Jon and that she must love him. It was a really good message!

Went to Target after church and yelled at the kids for spilling their popcorn and drinks.

Got home to a wreck of a house that Kate had to clean up and things spiraled quickly into a big ugly argument (Just a few hours after the good message
about not talking ugly to your spouse). Kate feels like she and Jon are the worst parents in the whole world and their kids will grow up scarred about what they have heard them say in front of them when they fight. Kate asks the Lord to deliver her from herself and Jon from himself. Kate actually asks the Lord to help her to keep her mouth shut when she’s tired and irritable.

October 2006

Another two-year-old rough day! Before the official start of nap the kids stripped again and got spankings. Then the kids acted like two-year-olds do and Kate got out of control with Collin again but luckily she sent him to his room until Kate could settle. Kate hates this two-year-old stuff!

October 2006

Kate worked a double shift and can feel God urging her to quit and live fully on faith instead of down and living on less. She prays to the Lord to be able to let go and let Him handle her finances totally.

November 2006

Today is going to be the worst day of Kate’s life. Teacher conferences in the morning and Mrs. Dolan just blew smoke up Kate’s butt about the twins. Kate said “No duh!” to herself when she was told how well the girls are doing in school.

Kate also got mad at the builders because they left dust even after Kate showed them exactly how she wanted it to be cleaned up as they were working.