Keep Me (5 page)

I turned to walk away, not sure what my next duty was, when Gary stopped me. “Hey, Tess… you did great today. We’re done here and I won’t be back to the office for a while, so you can head home, call it a day.”

I felt my face brighten, a smile curling at my lips just thinking about scooping up Luca early from the daycare. I missed watching him sleep during his afternoon naps and feeding him a bottle in the rocking chair in his bedroom. “You sure, Gary? Isn’t there anything else for me to do here?”

He barely lifted his head from his work, but I caught a glimpse of a wink as he ushered me away with his free hand. “Go on, get outta here. See ya tomorrow.”

I could hardly keep from skipping to my car—the faster I got to my Luca man the better. I took out my phone to call the daycare and inform them of my early arrival, and noticed I had three missed calls. The number was unfamiliar to me—an out of town area code—so I checked to see if I had any voicemails—nothing. My suspicions raised, I pressed the button to return the call.

When the voice on the other line answered,
“Serenity Falls Rehab, how can I help you?”
I stopped dead in my tracks and nearly dropped the phone.

“Whoa, whoa there, Tessie Spano. You look like you’ve seen a ghost. You okay?”

Shit, Marcus! He doesn’t need to know about this.
I rudely hung up on the kind-sounding woman on the other end and readjusted myself. “Um, yes, I’m fine.”
Think of something less… truthful.
“Message from the bank. Forgot to pay the damn mortgage again.” I shook my head, rolling my eyes.
So now instead of sounding like a woman scorned I sounded like a flat broke deadbeat.

“Don’t you hate when that happens? Damn hawks track you down if you’re a minute late. I think they’ve gotten used to my antics by now. My credit’s shot to shit, but they stopped hounding me.” He gave me a wink as if a flash of his perfectly white smile and his smoldering stare could wash away all my issues.
God, I wish they could.
“Gary let you go early? Want to grab a bite to eat?”

For one irrational minute I thought about taking him up on his enticing offer; being around him and Riley made me forget all the nastiness of the Zack years. But I had my heart set on spending time with Luca. What kind of mother would I be to abandon my son for a lunch date with Marcus? Plus I had shit to iron out—namely, I had to call the rehab to find out why in the hell they were contacting me.

“Another time maybe? I want to pick up my son a little early and watch him sleep.” I was sure it sounded ridiculous, but I didn’t care. I needed a Luca fix, especially after that unexpected phone call.

He paused for a moment, speculating. Maybe even making sure I wasn’t just feeding him some line to avoid him. “Promise?” He raised one groomed eyebrow over a sinfully grey eye, pouting his luscious lips.

How could I say no to
that
? “Promise.”

After notifying the daycare that I was on my way, I took a deep breath and dialed the rehab’s number again.

“Serenity Falls Rehab, how can I help you?”

I took another calming breath, not sure I wanted the answer to my question. “Yes, hi, this is Tessa Bradley… or, er, Tessa Brentwood. I received a few missed calls from this number. Are you contacting me about your patient, Zack Brentwood?” I hated saying his name. I hated thinking they had
anything
to tell me… unless.
Could he be?
“Is he still…?”

“Hold on one second, Mrs. Brentwood.”

Nope!
I was no longer bound to that man. She needed to be corrected. “It’s Ms. Bradley. He is my
ex-
husband. In fact, there were strict instructions that I no longer be contacted regarding his progress, unless… unless, of course, he’s dead.” It was odd how saying it didn’t make me feel anything. Although I did feel an ounce of hopefulness at the possibility.

“Please, Ms. Bradley. Let me see if I can find his case worker. We’ll figure this out.”

I waited in silence at the red light, ticked that I had to deal with this at all. My insides were turning and my blood was boiling, thinking about all the terror and humiliation that monster put me through. What a naïve moron I was not to see the signs from the beginning. He was possessive even on our first date,
“Baby, you look hot, but please don’t ever wear something so revealing in public again. For my eyes only, okay?”

I was a certifiable moron then. I thought it was a compliment, a turn-on even. It was the first of many comments that would strip away my sense of self. And the comments weren’t the worst part. Those left scars—the invisible kind—but I’d had my fair share of the visible ones, too. The ones I had to hide and cover up day in and day out. Make excuses for, lose friendships over.

Before my mind could dart back to another unpleasant memory, the receptionist was back. “Ms. Bradley?”

“Yes, I’m here.”

“I spoke with Mr. Brentwood’s case worker and no one from the facility has tried to contact you. We are all aware of the existence of the restraining order and the instructions regarding contact with you. We do apologize for any inconvenience, but there must have been a mistake…”

No. It wasn’t a mistake. It meant that Zack was very much alive and had tried to contact me himself. Guess it was time to change my number… again. This time I wouldn’t notify the rehab of my new contact information, though. I was tired of doing this—of changing things about my life for a man who was no longer a part of it. “Please make sure his case worker reiterates the restrictions to him again. I’m sorry to have troubled you. You have a nice day.” I hung up the phone, not even caring that I had been short with the nice woman. Anything or anyone that had something to do with Zack made me defensive.

I held on to my sweet baby boy a little longer than usual before putting him down in his crib for his nap. I absorbed his innocent beauty, in awe of his chubby cheeks and the soft tufts of his sparse brown hair.
What a beautiful creation
. To think he came from something so… ugly was unimaginable.

I tiptoed to the baby monitor, turned it on and walked out of his room, leaving the door open the slightest bit. The comfort of my son almost made me forget how unnerved I felt a little while ago, but it also made me cognizant of what I had to do to protect us. The distance once made me feel safe, but being a mere phone call away made it feel like we were still within his reach.
Snap out of it, Tessa. He’s gone. Change your number and forget about it, like you’ve always done.

Maybe I just needed a night out. A good distraction. That lunch date with Marcus suddenly felt like the cure, but the more realistic part of me knew that was just more trouble I didn’t need. Marcus was also dangerous, though in a totally different way. A really
good
way.

But no matter how good it might feel to get lost in Marcus and his flirtatious ways, he was forbidden fruit to me. Riley warned me about him and I needed to heed her advice. I wish I’d listened when she cautioned me about Zack… it would’ve saved me a lot of hardship.

Thinking about her made me want to see her again. We’d had a great time the other night—as if no time had passed, as if my ghosts from the past were out haunting someone else. I needed another night like that. I hoped she was up to hanging out with me and Luca… she mentioned wanting to get to know him better, too. And even though a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant sounded really appealing, the unsettling feelings that loomed over me from this afternoon had me wanting to stay close to Luca.

Wanna have dinner at my place tonight? Luca wants to meet you.

I didn’t even have time to put the cell phone down before it was buzzing back with a response.

Be there at 7:00. Can’t wait!

At precisely seven o’clock the doorbell rang. I opened the door, toting Luca in one arm, to a very cheerful Riley. She offered up a bottle of wine in exchange for my son. I went along with the uneven exchange and so did my pleasant baby boy. You could hand him over to the mailman and he wouldn’t complain.

Luca drooled and grinned in all his adorable gumminess and Riley ate it right up. “Look, Tess. He loves me already!”

I didn’t want to burst her bubble and tell her that he loved everyone so I just agreed. “Yes, he’s in love! He’s a real ladies man. Now come in already… can’t have you two drooling over each other in the doorway all night.”

She bounced him up and down on her hip maternally as she walked into the family room. “Wow, Tess. I love your place. It’s so… you.”

I didn’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not. Riley knew the latest trends and current designs.

“Really? Does it meet the FIT standards or are you just pulling my leg?”

She placed a wriggly Luca down on his alphabet play mat and continued to peruse my home. Her eyes seemed to dance with enchantment, taking in the calm, sage color of the walls. “No seriously. It’s beautiful. So warm and inviting yet classy and stylish. You had no help with this, Tessa? This is all you?”

Now she had to be exaggerating. I threw things together, made it my own, erased any evidence of the life I had with Zack, and called it a day. There was no involvement of color swatches and coordinating patterns. This was just how I had envisioned my happy home. The complete opposite of the way it was while
he
lived here. “Yup. All me. I guess you approve.”

“Definitely approve. I may incorporate some of your ideas into this one client’s palette. She would love this paint color.”

I watched as she admired everything, even the mess of Luca’s toys all over the once immaculate family room. I never understood the reason for a museum-like room. It was called a family room for a reason. Zack hadn’t gotten that memo, I guess. “Well, I’m glad you like it. I’ll show you the rest later on. Let me go open this wine. Keep an eye on Luca man for a sec?”

“Of course.” She popped off her flats and sat down next to him, Indian style. She focused so intently on him, smiling at all the little things he did. We hadn’t touched on why she wasn’t a mom yet, or married or even dating for that matter. Maybe tonight.

As I walked into the kitchen I yelled back to her, “You hungry?”

“Starved,” she yelled back.

“Good. I made pasta and broccoli, Luca’s favorite.”

“Yum,” she sang over and over again, in a silly baby voice. I heard Luca giggling. He really was warming up to her. It was no surprise, Riley was good people. I needed to surround myself with good people.

Pigsty was right. Mom was surely rolling in her grave. Everything was still in its rightful place, but the sheets and plastic coverings did diddly squat to keep the summer house free of the thick layer of compact dust, grime and filth.

I swiped my hand across the edge of the log-cabin inspired furniture and snarled at the residue left on my hand. “Shit! Sorry, Mom. Never again.”

And I meant it. Letting my old man neglect this place—never again would another summer go by without keeping the house the way she would’ve wanted it. Fresh and clean and full of life. A radio always blaring, a frozen drink in the blender, and something cooking on the grill.
Shit! The grill!
I hoped nothing had crawled up into that thing and died. A manly man I liked to think I was, but when it came to raccoons and rodents… well, I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t scream like a girl if I had to fight one off.