Keeper of the Wolves (25 page)

I paused at her open door. She still sat on
the couch with her head bowed. Early morning sunlight filtered
through the window, creating beams of dancing motes that looked
solid enough to touch. I wondered if my absence had gone unnoticed.
I pushed the door open further and it gave a slight creak. Koya
spoke without lifting her head, “You didn’t have to come back.”

A stillness settled over me at the weariness
in her voice. I stood motionless, her sorrow and despair heavy in
the air around me. “I hope you know me better than that,” I said in
a voice rough from lack of use.

She looked up in surprise. Her eyes were the
pale color of the sky when the sun reaches its highest point. I
took a steeling breath and crossed the floor. “I left to run with
the wolves,” I said. Admitting my abandonment was more painful than
the bruises I still bore from my battles with the Viel.

Koya lowered her gaze to the ground and
tipped her head so that her expression was hidden from me. “You
should have stayed with them,” she said. “You deserve your life
back.”

The pain in her voice tore at my heart. I
dropped to my knees on the carpet in front of her and took her
hands in my own. “You are my life,” I said. My throat was tight and
the words came out soft and forced.

She met my gaze slowly as if reluctant to
see the truth. She swallowed and blinked back tears that caught in
the morning light. She opened her mouth, then shook her head and
tried to pull her hands from mine. I kept a gentle hold on her
fingers, worried if I lost them I would never feel her touch again.
She blinked quickly, but the tears broke free. “You don’t deserve
this life. You shouldn’t fight every day to survive, putting
yourself in harm’s way for someone else. It’s not right.”

I stared at her, shocked. I was prepared for
her to tell me that I was an animal, that she needed someone with
the means to take care of her, or she had another in mind who would
provide for her duchy. Instead, her concern was for the life I
would lead at her side. I tried to hide the smile that came to my
lips, but I couldn’t. “Koya, look at me,” I said gently. When she
refused, I turned her chin so that I stared into her eyes. The
depths of them threatened to swallow me up; it was an existence I
would happily die for. “I said goodbye to the wolves.” My heart
burned, but I continued, “My place is at your side, if you will
have me.”

She watched me, her expression disbelieving.
“You said goodbye?”

I nodded and had to drop my gaze for fear
that I wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears that filled my eyes.
“I’m not a wolf anymore, at least not one fit for a pack.” I
swallowed. “I don’t know what I am.”

She pulled one of her hands out of mine and
placed it on my cheek. I looked up at her and she stared down at me
from her seat on the couch. “Your place is at my side?”

I nodded, unable to speak.

She leaned down and kissed me gently on the
lips. Her fingers caressed my cheek and made trails of fire race
along my skin. I closed my eyes, encompassed by her scent, her
touch, the soft press of her lips against mine, the taste of her
kiss. Nothing else mattered in the world except this Lady who held
my heart as no other had.

She pulled back just enough to whisper, “I
love you.”

“
I love you,” I replied. A
heartbreaking warmth flooded my body. I pulled her onto my lap and
kissed her more firmly, claiming her as my own. I understood at
that moment why wolves only chose one mate when most of the animal
world flitted from suitor to suitor. There truly was only one my
heart belonged to, and I held her in my arms.

When our lips parted, she leaned her head
against my chest. I rested my cheek on her hair, content to stay
there forever. Everything felt right. In that moment, the world
disappeared and only our two hearts, joined with a single love,
existed.

Eventually, Koya broke the silence with the
harsh truth of reality. “Joven will never understand.”

“
What about Vielkeep?” I
forced myself to ask the question despite the knowledge that what
was best for Vielkeep was for me to keep my distance from this girl
I loved with all of my heart.

She shook her head and spoke with her words
muffled against my neck. “I don’t know. All I know is that I would
rather die than live without you.”

I pulled back and looked down at her. “Never
say that,” I demanded in a tone harsher than I meant for it to be.
“You have too much to live for, and too many people who need you. I
need you.”

A smile touched her lips. “You do?”

I nodded, then recognized the teasing light
in her eyes. I humored her anyway. “I do.”

Her smile deepened and she leaned against my
chest again. “We’ll figure it out somehow. It’ll work out,
right?”

I nodded, but doubt whispered at the back of
my mind. I pushed it down and brushed her golden hair between my
fingers.

***

I awoke early and changed before Koya
stirred. I paced the perimeter of the ground in search of a scent
that would herald another assassin from Brean. What worried me was
that the other duchies also had reasons to take control of
Vielkeep, and had said as much. The threat to Koya’s life wasn’t
only at Brean’s hand.

When I reached the castle again, it was in a
stir of madness as the representatives from each duchy readied
their belongings for their hasty trip home. Word of the Viel had
spread and looks of panic and disbelief were shared by the servants
and royalty I saw. Some still doubted the existence of the Viel,
but the fear that colored the air told of others who believed in
the threat.

Carriages were loaded high with more
belongings than I figured one person could use in a year. Servants
dressed in the colors of each duchy hurried about with haggard
looks on their faces and armloads of supplies. I avoided the chaos
around the main doors and slipped through the side door of the
kitchen that was open to air out the rapidly warming room.

Master Cook Tamus had her workers slaving in
every inch of the massive kitchen and storage room beyond to make
enough food packs for the departing travelers. Great fires roared
in the open ovens and piles of apples, potatoes, onions, carrots,
and huge sides of venison and oxen lay ready to be sliced for
sandwiches. The scent of fresh bread tickled my nose.

Cook Tamus stood in a corner with her hands
on her hips and glowered down at a young man covered in flour and
holding two black mounds that further inspection showed to be
charred loaves of bread. The young man hung his head when she
pointed to the corner where several fatigued women worked to keep
up with the growing pile of dishes waiting to be washed. Cook Tamus
turned away and paused when her eyes met mine.

The beefy woman raised her wooden spoon and
shook it at me. Several servants turned and their eyes widened when
they met my gaze. The two closest men fell over each other in an
effort to hide behind the nearest table. They were holding chunks
of meat big enough to feed an entire wolf pack. I figured that made
them feel like a target.

I felt a ridiculous urge to run beneath the
tables and cause an uproar. The impulse was so unlike me I froze
for a moment. The head cook took that as a challenge and ran at me
with her spoon raised above her head. I let out a woof and she
jumped in surprise, bumping a chef who dumped an entire bowl of
steamed clams onto another servant frozen in the act of chopping
carrots.

I ducked through the opposite door feeling
mischievous and guilty. Wolves played and teased each other over
bones, but flat out troublemaking was for pups and bear cubs. I
would never be allowed in the kitchen again. The thought didn’t
bring the twinge of regret it probably should have.

I dodged several skittish servants carrying
armloads of blankets, circled a large group of Lord Vesut’s waiting
men wearing purple and sea green, and padded through a congregation
from Sunhold that smelled of the grains and sunshine that made up
their duchy’s sustenance. Lord Fallow and Lady Stry gave me
uncomfortable glances. I wondered if they guessed my secret.

Koya was in the midst of it all. Rasmus
stood at her side and nodded at me when I drew near. The Lady of
Vielkeep gave orders to servants and directed what she could of the
chaotic proceedings. She looked determined to see everyone out of
Vielkeep Castle as swiftly and calmly as possible. I wondered what
she would think if she knew of the ruckus I had caused in the
kitchen. It could have been much worse.

The thought made me smile wolfishly until I
saw Lord Brayton at the foot of the stairs. I almost turned away
when his keen gaze met mine. His eyebrows drew together and he
motioned me over. A man dressed in Miduan’s white and red whom I
guessed to be the Lord’s manservant followed his gaze. When he
spotted me, the servant looked for anyone else his master might
summon, but there was the wide berth where I stood.

I almost turned away. I kept remembering the
fear in Brayton’s eyes when I changed, and knew that any further
encounters might be uncomfortable at best and possibly deadly at
worst, but I felt like I owed it to him. Obligation was something
wolves understood well. Members of a pack took care of each other,
brought food for expectant mothers, and cared for the pups so their
parents could have a chance to hunt and stretch their legs. Wolves
are obligated to their alpha to hunt and respect his or her
commands, and alphas see to the safety and security of their
pack.

Brayton motioned again with more urgency and
I gave in. The Lord’s manservant looked askance at me when Brayton
told him to oversee the remaining packing while he attended to a
matter of great importance, but the servant turned away without
question. Brayton started up the stairs and I followed. Curiosity
overpowered the foreboding that weighed on my mind. Too many people
knew of my secret, and Koya’s security was at risk. I had to know
what the consequences would be now that the Lord knew what we were
hiding.

He led the way down a long hallway and up
another set of stairs. His familiarity with the castle was no
surprise. Koya said he visited Vielkeep many times as a child. If
he felt uncomfortable being followed by a wolf, he gave no sign of
it. We passed a servant who took the stairs two at a time as he
hurried down. The man didn’t glance in our direction, too much in a
hurry to take note of those outside of his duties.

Brayton pushed opened a door and stepped
inside. I turned the corner and almost ran into him when he paused
and looked around what appeared to be a child’s playroom. Toys that
smelled as if they hadn’t been played with in years sat on tables
and bookshelves. The room had been dusted regularly, but the scent
of disuse lingered heavily in the air. Brayton crossed the green
carpet with an air of reverence in his stance.

“
We used to play here for
hours,” he said quietly, breaking the silence. His fingers trailed
along a table top that bore the rough handwriting of a child carved
into the top. He gave a small smile, his tone that of someone who
forgot anyone else listened. “Joven and I cut our names into this
table on a rainy day when we wanted more than anything to be
outside dueling imaginary assailants and planning great battles we
hoped to hold against the other duchies.”

He let out his breath in a rush. “Taking up
the title of Duke sounded so noble then, as if we could ride into
battle each day defending the honor of our castles and heritage.”
He gave a soft snort. “Look at us now, Joven a Duke in all but
title, his duchy nearly swept from under him, and myself a Lord
without a Lady, a broken man before I’ve yet to battle more than
wooden dummies and the gossips of society.”

He looked back at me and I realized that he
hadn’t been speaking amiss; his words were intended for my ears, as
wistful and wandering as they seemed.

“
You look skeptical,” he
said. A hint of humor colored his tone. “I wonder if a normal wolf
has ever looked so skeptical. I shall keep my eyes open for one on
our way home and see if his eyes carry the same concern as yours.”
He rubbed his clean-shaven jaw thoughtfully. “Of course, I suppose
I would then have to bring him here and bore him with tales of the
past as I have you to justify such an expression.”

When I didn’t move from the doorway, he
grinned. “Now look who’s scared. You nearly frightened me out of my
pants with your little trick back in the garden, and here you are,
a scary human wolf probably able to bite me in half and you don’t
dare enter a child’s playroom?”

I set my ears back at his teasing tone and
took a step onto the green carpet. It felt strange to enter a place
where so many memories hid in the shadows and amid the toys. I
could smell the lemon scent of laughter, the balm of happiness, and
in some places, the dark, stormy aroma of sorrow. The children he
spoke of had grown up in this room.

The reverence he showed whispered beneath my
feet and within the stillness of the rocking horse in the corner
and the dolls who watched us with button eyes. Just as a forest
needed each animal and insect that thrived beneath its sheltering
reach, the room needed children to fill it with life and joy.
Without them, we walked through an empty shell void of meaning
except for a few smiles and merry laughter that still hinted in the
quiet corners.

“
Ah, a brave soul,” Brayton
said. “I’m glad to see Koya has such a fearless protector.” I
rolled my eyes like Joven did and he laughed. He leaned against one
of the windows and peered below. “I’ve never realized what a
similarity people have to ants hording up food against the winter
storms.” He glanced back at me. “Come and look.”

I padded quietly to the window, then put my
paws against the glass and studied the people who hurried to load
carriages and harness horses. It did look like a nest of ants that
had been disturbed and worked to put their home to rights.