Keeper of the Wolves (30 page)

The memory released the last grasp I held on
the change. Pain straightened my limbs and I couldn’t fight it any
longer. I kept my eyes closed and gave in, allowing my body to
stretch and pull into human form. When it was over, I willed my
pounding heart to slow and let out a breath. The skin the bear had
lacerated along my chest bled from the change. I opened my eyes and
ran a hand along the wounds, brushing the blood away.

They were shallow and would heal. Their
scars would add to those of the Cruel One’s whips, white memories
of pain I would rather not think about. I turned my attention to my
left hand that had been bit by the Viel. Deep wounds that bled
again from the change showed dark red and angry at the edges. My
wrist hung limp, the bones crushed by the Viel’s teeth. Pain rushed
through the limb when I tried to move it. The wound was infected,
and heat ran up my arm. My body gave a shudder, a minor whisper of
fever.

I rose and made my way to the small brook
that babbled near the wolves’ den. Each step sent a throb from my
wrist. I regretted my stupidity at running on it and damaging it
further. It was easier to see the error of my ways when I was in
human form; it made me want to change back into a wolf forever.

I knelt by the brook and lowered my swollen
hand gently into the water. The stream was fed by glaciers that
melted in the mountain’s heights, and the cold temperature took my
breath away. It also numbed the pain, making it more tolerable. I
gritted my teeth and washed the wounds as quickly as possible until
the caked dirt and blood were gone and fresh blood ran freely. I
lifted my hand back out and let it air dry.

I wished for clean bandages and Rasmus’
salves. My heart turned over at the thought of the General. I would
no longer hear his gruff words or see the acceptance in his eyes. I
would never know the story behind the scar that marred his face, or
hear his wisdom on soldier lore and battle strategies. He was lost
to me as much as Koya, Vielkeep, and the life I had lived
there.

I lay on my back near the brook and watched
the morning light toy through the leaves above me. My wrist slowly
clotted and when the numbness from the brook faded, it became stiff
and sore. I eased to my feet and walked through the woods. The
wolves fell in around me, reminding me that I wasn’t alone, no
matter how lost I felt.

***

Only a week had passed since I reached the
den behind Vielkeep. My days and nights were tormented with
thoughts of Koya so close, but further than she had ever been
before. I found a clearing filled with meadow gold and spent time
there surrounded by the memory of her scent. But stillness brought
too many bitter, regretful thoughts. I pushed myself in the hopes
that it would help chase away the chill of the infection that
tormented the Viel bite. On one such walk, a scent slowed my
steps.

My lips lifted in a snarl. Cricket and Trace
paced on either side of me. At my warning, they fell back into the
trees. The smell of cedar made the fur on the back of my neck rise.
I was tempted to turn away, but despair mingled with Joven’s scent
along with sour bitterness. I stalked quietly through the
undergrowth.

Joven stumbled through the forest like a
king bear, unconcerned about who heard him as he broke twigs and
branches with enough sound to alert every animal near Vielkeep.
Four soldiers kept pace with him; the closest two picked him up
every time he fell. They exchanged glances, but no one said a word
to halt their Lord’s progress.

“
Victus, I know you’re here.
She said you would be,” Joven called out. He lifted something and
my ears flattened at the sight of a bottle of mulled wine. He took
a swig. “You wouldn’t go far.”

I followed him out of sight, wondering what
madness drove him to seek me out after all he had done. I wanted
hatred to burn in my chest, to feel anger at all he had taken from
me, but instead sadness took its place. His scent reminded me of
all the time I spent behind Vielkeep’s walls. He had been a friend
once, one of only a few.

“
You owe me that much,
Victus,” he yelled. Spittle flew from his mouth. He wiped his lips
with the back of his sleeve. “You owe me something,” he said more
quietly. He tripped and fell again, but this time when his men
tried to help him up he pushed them away. “Leave me alone,” he
growled. His words slurred, bitter and angry. His guards stood back
and exchanged concerned glances, but didn’t argue.

Joven muttered something under his breath
and took another drink from the half-empty bottle. He held it out
and swirled the liquid inside, then gave an enraged yell and threw
it. The glass shattered against a tree and fell in pieces to the
ground.

“
Should’ve known he was a
coward,” Joven said. He turned to his guards and spoke louder,
“Should’ve known he would’ve run away and left her like everyone
else.”

I stepped into the clearing. The soldiers
tensed, but Joven didn’t notice me.

“
I’ve made a mess of things
now, Victus,” Joven yelled. “Rasmus was right. I wasn’t ready to do
it alone.”

I couldn’t think of a time when the General
had said such a thing, but the pain in Joven’s voice echoed the
throb in my heart at Rasmus’ name. I took another step forward. The
guards drew closer around Joven. This time he noticed and followed
the direction of their gazes. His face went still, frozen, as if he
hadn’t expected me to answer. I watched him without moving. My
heart pounded in my ears.

“
Leave us,” he told his
guards.

They stared from me to him, unwilling to
leave their inebriated Lord with a wolf, even a wolf they knew. “My
Lord, I don’t think that would be wise,” one of them hazarded to
answer.

Joven hands clenched into fists and he
growled in a voice as far from drunk as possible, “Leave or your
service with Vielkeep is through.”

The soldiers straightened and saluted. I
listened to their footsteps when they left the small clearing. They
stopped a few paces out of sight, ready in case their Lord needed
them. I gave a soft snort of approval. My pack was out of sight as
well, pacing the perimeter like silent wraiths ready for
attack.

I took another step closer to Joven. Face to
face with the one responsible for my heartache, I let out a low
growl.

Joven nodded. “You probably should attack.
My soldiers are gone and I’ve not much defense left to me.” He
pulled out his knife, waved it half-heartedly, and let it drop from
his fingers to the dirt. It made a soft thud when it hit the
ground.

I sat down, more concerned than angry
now.

He bowed his head and was silent for a
moment. I was surprised when a sob shook his shoulders. “They took
her, Victus. They took Koya.” His voice carried the pain of defeat
and the agony of realizing he wasn’t able to protect her as a
brother should.

My heart slowed. I wanted more than anything
to ask him who took her and why he wasn’t trying to get her back,
but my human form eluded me now that I needed it. I gritted my
teeth in frustration and closed the distance between us.

He let out a sigh and looked up. His sour
breath washed over me. I blew air out of my nose to clear it. “She
left a note saying she was going after you.” He shook his head. “I
knew she would. She said I was wrong to deny love and she deserved
to make her own decisions. She said you wouldn’t go far. I expected
her to try to find you.” Darkness washed across his face. “I had
soldiers ready to follow her at a moment’s notice. When she left,
they trailed her, and when Vesut’s men took her, they attacked; but
they were outnumbered and he slaughtered them, then left them
skinned like rabbits in a warning to those who would follow.”

I bared my teeth at Vesut’s name. I pictured
his black slicked back hair and greedy dark eyes. The thought of
Koya in his hands made me want to change into human form and
strangle him. A shudder ran through my body. Joven saw the warning
sign. He unclipped his cloak and tossed it to me, then turned his
back to give me privacy. My joints pulled and bent. My fur receded
and hair grew. The pain in my wrist was enough to make me yell, but
I stifled it. I pulled the cloak around my waist and tied it.

Joven turned back around. His eyes widened
when he saw the claw marks down my chest. “What happened?” he
asked.

“
A bear had a fish I
wanted.”

A look of disbelief touched his eyes. “You
couldn’t catch your own fish?”

“
I wanted the one he had,” I
said as though the statement made perfect sense. I wasn’t ready to
discuss the stupidity of my actions to the one who drove me to that
desperation.

Joven laughed, a reminder of his drunkenness
touching his voice when he said, “You really need to know when
you’re outnumbered.”

“
It was one bear, I was one
wolf,” I replied. “We were even.”

He shook his head. “Remind me to rethink my
decision to follow you into battle.”

“
I have,” I replied
quietly.

He studied me for a moment, then rose to his
feet. No drunkenness touched his step nor slurred his words when he
crossed the space between us. “I was wrong, Victus. I was dead
wrong.” Regret touched his gaze. “I’ve never been in love. I didn’t
know. How could I?” He looked at the trees, the dirt, anything to
avoid meeting the bare pain in my eyes. “But I knew when you walked
away that I was wrong, and it was too late to do anything about
it.”

“
You could have,” I
whispered.

“
I know,” he replied, his
voice tight. After a moment, he held out his hand. “You have my
word that when we get Koya back she’s yours, if she’ll have you,”
he concluded with a hint of challenge.

I met his eyes. “I trusted you once.”

He nodded and dropped his gaze again. “I
betrayed you like no brother would ever betray another. You didn’t
deserve it.”

“
I bled for you.”

His eyes rested on my red, swollen wrist.
“You saved Vielkeep and the rest of Rala. I owe you more than I
could ever repay.”

“
Helping me save Koya would
be a start.”

He looked up at me, a hint of hope on his
face. “You’ll help?”

I nodded. “But this isn’t for you; it’s for
Koya, only Koya.”

His expression fell, but he nodded. “Thank
you.”

I didn’t answer. I no longer cared about
anything but the woman I loved. She was in danger, and if the
skinning of the soldiers was any indication, the fight we were up
against would be a hard one. I walked through the forest, following
the trail they took to find me. When I reached Joven’s guards, they
had their swords out and were anxiously awaiting word from their
Lord. I walked past them, ignoring the concern in their eyes or the
way their gazes darted from me to Joven. I had fought beside them,
bled with them, and yet I could smell their fear and trepidation at
being so close to me. I found myself missing Rasmus’ quiet
acceptance with the ache of a small child who just lost a parent.
The feeling was forlorn and empty, threatening to devour what was
left of my heart.

Chapter 18

Lieutenant Aled was the first soldier I saw
at the Vielkeep gate. I thought at first he was on duty, but the
expression in his eyes was unmistakable. He had been waiting for
me. His relief at my appearance threatened to break down the
resolve I had made to remain distant from those in the castle. He
crossed the distance between us at almost a run, holding an arm
tight against his side to protect the wound along his ribs.

The Lieutenant slowed when he drew near and
glanced at Joven as if worried about the Lord’s reaction; then
resolve tightened his features and he held out a hand without
looking at his commander. “It’s good to have you back,” Aled said
sincerely.

I didn’t hesitate to shake the young
Lieutenant’s hand. “Thank you,” was all I could think of to say. I
didn’t expect a warm welcome after Joven’s judgment of my animal
blood; to find one person in Vielkeep who was happy about my return
was more than I had hoped for. I kept my face carefully
expressionless so the Lieutenant wouldn’t see how much his simple
words tormented me.

He fell in beside us and gave an update on
Koya’s current status. He directed the words to Joven, but it was
obvious by his review that he meant them for me. “No word from
Vashold regarding their intentions with Lady Koya, my Lord. They’ve
been silent since the guards were found in such a, um, callous
condition last night. We have riders flanking Vesut, but haven’t
heard word since high noon. The soldiers of Vashold have made good
time, but they’ve had some delays.”

That perked my interest. “What delays?”

“
Horses missing, a fire run
wild,” the Lieutenant’s eyes shone. “Anything a well-bred Lady of
Vielkeep can manage.”

The thought that Koya was causing as much
trouble as possible cheered me. If she was able to make mischief,
she wasn’t harmed badly.

“
Have they stopped long
enough for a ceremony?” Joven asked in a neutral tone.

I glanced at him. “Ceremony?”

His eyebrows drew together, forming a line
between them. “Lord Vesut took Koya because he wants Vielkeep. His
best claim would be to wed my sister and let principle dictate that
he is the best acknowledged ruler of Vielkeep due to his age and
the fact that he is already heir to Vashold. If they are wed,
society would be hard-pressed to find reasons to deny his
claims.”

My stomach rolled at the thought of Koya
anywhere near Vesut, let alone wed to him. I had no doubt what he
would do to her if she were his by law. I met Aled’s eyes and he
shook his head quickly.