Keeping London (The Flawed Heart Series Book 2) (22 page)

Putting on our night goggles, we make our way on foot through the darkness at the base of the mountain. A surveillance stop on the outskirts of the village doesn’t show anything suspicious, so we continue forward until we’re standing outside our destination. It’s a small home that looks like it was made out of clay from the earth. The holes for the windows are covered by fabric curtains on the inside and nothing more. If the general chose to seek protection here, he mustn’t be very bright. That, or he has very little options. There are two doors, one in the front and the other in the back.

We quickly take our positions, armed and ready.

On cue, we enter the building. Screams of surprise and confusion sound through the glorified hut as we point our weapons toward the occupants. After a diligent inspection of those inside, we realize our target is definitely not among them. Our translator stays along with a couple of armed soldiers, and the rest of us exit the home and await further instructions outside.

“Surprise, surprise,” Cooper says to me as we exit.

“I know. I had a feeling it would be a wild goose chase.”

“Me, too.”

A half hour later, when the soldiers emerge from the house, the sun is up, and the village people are starting to rise and start their day.

“It turns out, he was here, in the village, though the family in this home says he didn’t stay with them. They also state that they haven’t seen him in a couple of weeks but that someone in this village is bound to know something,” Captain Ismirle informs our unit. “Berkeley and Cooper, take your guys down the south side of the street. Stop at each house, and see what you can find.” He addresses one of our military translators, “Liles, you can go with them.” He turns to a lieutenant leading another unit. “Parker, take your guys to the houses on the north side. Let’s see what we can find.”

We get started. Not surprisingly, none of the residents want to talk to us, and they are hesitant to give us any information. I don’t blame them. If anyone from Al-Qaeda found out that they helped us, they would wind up dead. We never leave these types of missions with much intel to speak of. A lot of what we do is not only listening to what the people of the village say, but also taking in all the details of their homes, looking for weapons or clues.

Around mid morning, we enter another home, in which the residents once again swear they have no information. As Liles continues to speak with them, Cooper nudges my boot with his. I turn to him, and he nods toward the back room. I immediately notice the rug that’s on the floor. I can’t explain it, but something’s off about it.

We walk to the back room, and I kick at the rug with my boot. Sure enough, a door is revealed. We look around the small room before Cooper bends to open the wooden door in the floor while I cover him. Inside the hidden compartment, we find IEDs, mortar rockets, other explosives, and a bunch of machine guns.

“Oh, they know something.” Cooper shakes his head.

“They sure do,” I agree.

We head the few steps back into the front room to find the Afghan family gone.

“Where’d they go?” I question, instinctual fear causing the hairs on the back of my neck to rise.

“They said they wanted to show us something outside. Liles took them out.” Jacoby nods toward the door.

“What?” Cooper asks. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“I know,” Smith answers. “Liles seemed confused, too. He was thinking maybe he was missing something in the translation, so he wanted them to show him what they were talking about.”

“The woman kept looking down,” Jacoby adds. “I don’t trust her.”

“Yeah, well, she definitely knows something. We found an entire arsenal of weapons in the floor in the back room.” Cooper points to the back room.

“No shit!” our brother Nader exclaims.

“Let’s go give Liles backup, and then we’ll come back to figure this out,” I say right before a dark object flies in through the open window and drops on the floor. “Run!” I shout, knowing instantly that it’s a grenade.

They say that the seconds before you die play out in slow motion, and they’re right. In a matter of seconds, more thoughts than I thought were possible run through my mind.

I immediately take stock of my surroundings. The exits are both farther than a few seconds away. The sobering fact that we’ll never be able to clear a doorway before it explodes enters my thoughts.

We’re going to die.

The guys, four of my brothers, have lives, families, and loved ones.

Maybe some of us will make it?

I think of Cooper, my true brother, and the wedding that he might not be able to attend. Finally, I think of my beautiful London and how very much I’m going to miss her.

My eyes find Cooper’s, and in them, I see determination, regret, and love. His stare communicates so much, but it takes me a fraction of a second too long to realize what.

I yell, “No!” as my arm reaches out for him even though I know he’s not within my reach.

I lunge toward him as I watch him fall on the grenade.

The explosive beneath his body detonates. I stare in horror as Cooper’s body comes apart and shatters into pieces, tearing through the air. I’m off my feet and flying backward, but I’m unable to take my eyes off of my friend, my brother. Debris flies toward me, but I don’t feel it hit me.

I can’t feel anything.

As I collide with a hard surface behind me and I fall to the ground, everything fades to black. So many emotions are ripping me to pieces, but the last thought that burns through my mind before the darkness pulls me under is that I hope I never feel anything again.

London

“Love is crazy. It turns sane, independent people into wide-eyed, mushy-hearted saps. And I love it.”

—London Wright

I like how, every time I open my email, the question number gets larger in the subject line. It’s not an accurate count as to how many days I’ve been without Loïc. When he’s gone on multiple-day missions, he can’t send an email, and then some days, we are able to send more than one question back and forth. So, it’s not precise in keeping track of the days gone by, but it’s actually kind of averaging out to almost one question a day. I get an intense feeling of joy when I see the question number in the comment line of each new email. It’s like the larger the number, the closer I am to seeing him again.

Loïc’s been gone two and a half months, and although I wouldn’t say it’s getting easier to be apart from him, it’s becoming less difficult—if that makes any sense at all. I guess I’m able to manage my feelings better and control the agonizing longing my heart feels for him. I’m trying to keep myself busy, which helps, too.

My heart falls when I open my email and see that I don’t have a new one from him. The last one was from two days ago, February 20, Loïc’s twenty-sixth birthday. I do what I always do when I don’t find a new email from him, I re-read the last one he sent.

To: London Wright

From: Loïc Berkeley

Subject: Question 80

I don’t know. My eighth birthday might have been overtaken by my twenty-sixth. Our Skype session earlier was amazing, London. The only thing that would have been more amazing was if I could have been home with you, but we’ve got next year, right?

To answer your question, yes, I’ve jumped out of airplanes. I wouldn’t call it skydiving exactly, but I think it counts. I’ve actually jumped out of many airplanes and helicopters. It’s part of my training, part of what I do. But I will gladly take you skydiving when I’m home. I’d love to experience that first with you.

I’m possibly going to be gone all day tomorrow. I’ll write when I’m back. I have a very early wake-up call, so I’m going to sign off.

So, question 80 is kinda deep. What’s your greatest regret?

I know I’ve told you how I want to find Nan and Granddad when I get back. Well, now that my heart isn’t filled with so much hurt and hate, I regret not trying to find them earlier. As soon as I get back from our mission, I’m going to use some of my downtime here to look them up. You know, I think you’re right. Something must have happened.

It’s taken loving you for me to realize that. I know now that, when you really love someone, you would never just abandon them without reason. I believe in my heart that they truly loved me when I was little. Even as a young boy, I felt their love. It was real.

So, something must have happened. There must be a reason, I think. Don’t you?

Gotta go to bed.

I love you, London.

Love,

Loïc

I read my response to him from yesterday.

To: Loïc Berkeley

From: London Wright

Subject: Question 81

Loïc,

Yes, of course I feel that something happened. It had to have. It just doesn’t make sense that grandparents would abandon their only grandchild. I believe that there was something that stopped them from getting you. Maybe something legal? I’m not sure how all of that works. But the fact that they were in a different country had to present problems.

I think that whatever you find in regard to them will be good for you to know. The mind can create scenarios that are much darker than the reality. Whatever you find out, you’ll be okay. I just know it.

So, regrets? I hate this question because, as I go through my possible answers, none of them are as profound as yours. I know it’s not a competition or anything, but it makes my life seem shallow. I suppose, in a way, it was…is? No, I’ll stick with
was
.

It seems so unfair that I have to put so much effort into this question when your life presented you with such a deep regret. The truth is, I don’t have many true regrets. Sure, there are things that I did or said that I’m not proud of. But I also know that each of those situations helped me grow as a person. I learned from every experience. Sometimes, the lesson might have taken longer than it should have to sink in, but I got it eventually.

I regret some of the silly fights I had with my mom or sister, but none of them had a lasting impact on my life. They were more about learning how to problem solve and mature. I’ve regretted opportunities that I didn’t take or didn’t work for. But all those missed opportunities brought me here, and I’m pretty darn happy with my life at the moment.

I wish I had talked to you about “cheating on me” last summer before assuming the worst and heading to a bar with ill intentions. But, even with that event, we grew as a couple when we talked about it afterward.

So, I guess, I’m sticking with no regrets. That should be my hashtag. ;-)

Question 81: Do you have any random fears?

I don’t think that I’ve told you that I’m afraid of fish. Yes, fish. I’m crazy, I know. Once, when I was little, my sister and I swam in a lake in Wisconsin, and a fish nibbled on my toes. It freaked me the hell out. It didn’t really hurt, but it scared me. So, now, I’m afraid to swim in lakes where fish can nibble on me.

How about you?

I’m working on some job leads. I will let you know how they go.

Stay safe. I love you so very much, Loïc Berkeley.

Love,

London

#noregrets

After I finish reading my email, I go back to browsing the Internet. I opt to wait a while before writing him another email. I’m hoping he’ll sign on any minute and we’ll be able to Skype. I’ve been searching online the past few weeks for local journalism jobs or writing gigs that would allow me to write freelance articles and send them in remotely. Leaving Michigan is no longer an option. I might leave someday, but it’ll be when Loïc comes with me. And I need a job with a little more challenges now. I think I’ve tapped out my potential with the job I currently have.

I have moments when I think that maybe this is all moving too fast. I’m twenty-three, and I’ve already planned my entire life with Loïc. A year ago, that was not the plan. I was going to work, travel, hang with my girl Paige, and enjoy being young and single until at least thirty.
Who dreams of marriage before thirty anymore? Certainly not this girl. Well, until now.

Now, it’s all I think about—not marriage exactly…but an eternity with Loïc.
Who wouldn’t want to settle down at twenty-three when they have Loïc at their side?
Love is crazy. It turns sane, independent people into wide-eyed, mushy-hearted saps. And I love it.

Obviously, I wanted Loïc at that car wash almost a year ago, but that was lust, plain and simple. He was hot, and I wanted to conquer him and have some fun…for just a bit. I wanted to win him even if just for a night, and then I would send him on his way.
Who knew that it would turn into so much more? Definitely not me.

Love’s amazing that way. It just kinda hits you, and when it’s real love, it’s for always.
How could it not be? In true love, forever is the only option.

My phone chimes. Looking down toward it on the desk, I see Maggie’s name lighting up the screen.

A smile crosses my face as I answer. Maggie and I have gotten close since the guys left.

“Hey!” I answer cheerfully.

Maggie’s crying. My breath hitches.

Something’s wrong.

The desperation in her sobs is palpable, and I’m instantly filled with dread.