Keeping Pace (2 page)

I turned and put my hand on the door handle, using it as an anchor for my sanity. One single step inside accompanied by my silence would give him the answer to his question, but instead of crossing the threshold without reply, I said over my shoulder, “Perhaps.”

Chapter Two

The following morning, no matter what I did or how I tried to cover with makeup, I was still flushed. The gall of that kid to do something so hedonistic, especially knowing I stood there watching him.

I bit back a sigh.

Who was more at fault here? He’d taken advantage of the solitude of his backyard. I’d been the one to stand there, all the while knowing better, yet getting an eyeful.

Linda, my secretary, noticed my agitation during our weekly staff meeting. In front of everyone, she asked, “You getting sick, honey?”

This same woman inquired after my health if my voice sounded too croaky first thing in the morning, if I sneezed more than once when standing next to a dusty shelf, and wanted to know what my lab values looked like after every one of my doctor’s visits. She meant well, but damn the woman could sometimes be worse than Nurse Ratched.

“Fine, Linda. Nothing’s wrong.” No matter what I said, I knew I didn’t look fine. In an effort to diffuse everyone’s attention from me, especially the inquisitive eyes of my boss, I found something terribly important on the paper in front of me. Little did they know, I stared long and hard at a single semicolon on the page. Stupid thing squiggled out of my vision within seconds, only to be replaced by Jim—Jerry?—John. The young man from next door.

How could I get those images out of my head? The sounds of him coming, seemingly oblivious to my presence, had decided to take up permanent residence in my mind. As a result, without having to run my fingers over them, I knew my panties were damp. They’d probably been that way since morning, almost to the point I considered discarding them altogether. It wouldn’t do to have been caught or even suspected of going commando, however. Not that anyone might guess, but one never knew with this crew.

All of these conflicting images, sounds and feelings threatened to drown me.

“Maybe you should take the day off if you’re coming down with something.”

I shoved last night’s memories aside and turned to the woman who’d spoken. “Thanks, Beth, no. I think I’m good. Just a lot on my mind lately.”

“You know I’d be happy to take over if you’re feeling overwhelmed, Regina.”

Which was exactly what I feared. “No. Let’s keep going.”

My coworker studied me, as if deciding for herself whether or not I needed her help. Her scrutiny gave me the boost I needed to get back on track. We needed to make plans for the upcoming seminar, and if a single mistake was allowed to slip through, ever-helpful Beth would take over.

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” I directed everyone’s attention to the whiteboard, which was excruciatingly stark. “We’ve verified Mr. Stroh’s availability for the dates the college’s conference center is also at our disposal. What’s going on with advertising?”

“Regina,” Beth said, looking at the steno pad on the conference table in front of her, “the problem with bringing Mr. Stroh in has nothing to do with the lack of advertising. Basically, we don’t have the supporters we need to show that the school system endorses his lecture.”

I brushed a hand through my hair, pushing back strands which should have been cut weeks ago. “Who wouldn’t support a man who teaches kids ‘stranger danger’ in a fun, effective way? If he has a system for keeping them safe, we would be stupid not to take advantage of it.”

Bringing this lecture to our town should have been a walk in the park, but between Beth trying to use it as an excuse to climb over me in the district’s hierarchy and the fact our residents wanted to live in denial about the population growth, I was swimming upstream.

Mr. Ken Stroh was a little-known speaker, but I stood behind his message one hundred percent. I wanted with every breath in me to have him, or at least someone like him, come to our community and help us keep our kids safe. Just because I didn’t have any of my own didn’t stop me from feeling a sense of communal responsibility for them.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Regina, but you aren’t the voice of the system. If you don’t get someone higher than you to back Mr. Stroh, this conference is sunk before it’s even begun.”

A weight settled in my stomach. As much as Beth and I disliked each other, she was as passionate about this project as I, and I knew she was right. “What would you suggest? How should we go about getting this project pushed through?”

She cast her gaze downward, studying that damned steno pad again. “Not sure.”

Liar
. The word stayed lodged in my throat, however. “Let’s set this topic aside for now. There are still details you need to finalize. I’ll work on securing the support we need. If I have to knock on the door of every single person with a school-aged child, we
will
be moving forward.”

Linda gave me an encouraging smile as I leaned into my chair and allowed our project to take a backseat to the other issues at hand. Around us our other coworkers talked about holiday parties and teacher workdays. Their voices droned in and out of my consciousness, because I barely paid them any mind. I had better things to keep me occupied.

“Regina, can I see you a minute?”

The voice of Lou, my longtime friend and boss, broke my reverie. Only then did I notice the meeting was over, most of the staff having left. The few who lingered laughed and chatted in small groups. “Sure.”

He’s a few years older than I, the years treating him exceedingly well. Even when Patrick was alive, Lou had the ability to make my heart pound a little harder. With those soft blue eyes and easy smile, he had the look of someone who rescued orphaned puppies and mended baby birds’ wings with every minute of his free time. One pathetic romp in the hay with him had cured me of lustful, salivating thoughts for the most part, but even I was alive enough to recognize his raw sexual appeal. His promotion as my boss cured me of any urge to try for round two on a personal level.

“What’s going on?” I asked him when we were finally alone. I caught a few curious stares from coworkers as they milled out of the conference room, but I ignored them.

He crossed his arms over his chest, the motion allowing light to reflect off his gold watch. “I’m getting a little concerned about this project. It’s not going the way you want.”

Understatement of the year. “No—it’s not a problem. We’ll get Stroh in front of our kids. I just need to be a little more assertive.”

He blinked at me, a long lazy closing of his lids that I’d seen him use when biding for time. Lou needed to gather some inner fortitude for bad news, and that stupid little move worked when used on other people. “How would you feel about handing this off to someone else and tackling something new?”

I folded my arms over my chest to match his. “Like what?”

“What would interest you?”

My mouth dropped open before I shut it again. Why would he allow me a choice of projects to lead right in the middle of this one? It wasn’t over yet. Not by a long shot.

On a rush of dawning horror, my understanding bloomed. I’d seen this coming but tried to deny it. I’d been so caught up in my own stubborn belief in a successful venture, I’d failed to recognize what was happening around me. Tamping down rising irritation, I tightened my hands into fists. “And who would you be handing Stroh to? I’ve worked a lot of long hours for this.”

“Beth’s been working—”

“No.”

His taken-aback look was almost laughable. “No?”

“Not Beth. Anyone else, but not her.”

“Look Regina, this isn’t personal. She’s worked with you for the entire project. She knows what’s needed. There isn’t someone better qualified to take over right in the middle.”

My throat tightened. “To take over… We’re not just talking about my project, are we? Beth’s being promoted, right?”

Soft blue eyes softened further. “It’s not personal,” he repeated gently. “There’s a lot of potential there that we should tap into. She’s young, with a lot of bright ideas. She isn’t afraid to think outside the box.”

“I see.” I didn’t, but if I didn’t respond with something neutral, I’d start screaming.

“If you want, you can still assist her with it. You laid the groundwork, after all.”

I knew he was trying to be helpful, but being asked to assist on a project I’d birthed made me want to retch. “Thanks, Lou.”

“It’s not official yet, so don’t say anything to anyone. Not even Beth. I just thought you should know. Think about what you want to work on next. I’ll see to it that you’re the lead.”

I nodded, inclining my face away from his. My expression would not be gracious, and he didn’t need to see that.

He leaned forward, bringing his hand toward mine. At the last second, he hesitated, and the moment’s pause must have cautioned him against touching me. What might have been a friendly gesture, or for all I knew, a romantic one, dissolved into nothingness. Instead Lou gathered himself and left without saying another word to me.

I swallowed down tears threatening to form and bit back every curse word in my vocabulary. It was all I could do to shut myself in my office, out of sight of curious eyes and oblivious coworkers. I couldn’t have a temper tantrum, but I could sulk in private.

As much as I tried to focus on the Stroh project and its many problems, Beth and her insane promotion and my stagnant career for the rest of the day, every once in a while my work-oriented shell cracked and allowed snippets of yesterday to break through. By the time I shut down the computer for the day, I’d come no closer to figuring out how to react to Beth’s news once it broke to everyone else, and was simultaneously more frustrated about how to deal with my next door neighbor. If I even had to deal with him. Except sensual memories clung to me like a jealous lover, refusing to let go. The most haunting of them all was the final invitation he’d given at the end.
Same time tomorrow
.

Any sane woman would simply go about her business without giving him a second thought. Nothing said I had to venture into the backyard tonight, and as far as I knew, he didn’t reside in the neighboring house permanently. Odds were good we could live next door to each other for another year without running into each other. Even if we did, the obligatory wave was all I had to offer him.

I almost hated myself for being so obsessed. I wanted to think about whether or not I had a future with the school district, and if I did, what project I should take on next. Every once in a while I considered the possibility of staying at my job, if only for the tuition reimbursement, so I could pursue another career altogether. Always, though, I was brought back to my house’s deck. To my view. And I was all the more aroused for it.

By the time I stepped through my front door, my mood fluctuated between envy toward Beth, anger over the loss of the Stroh project, irritability that I’d been so damned turned on with a pathetic means for relief—also known as my trusty vibrator—and just plain old fatigue. I kicked off my pumps, choosing to pad around my house in stocking-covered feet. As was my habit, I made my way into the kitchen, picked a new bottle of wine and uncorked it.

My gaze strayed to the sliding glass door leading to the deck, and I found myself turning toward the clock almost immediately afterward. I still had another half hour to go before my neighbor’s invitation would be in effect. How badly I wanted to throw responsibility to the wind and reward my monumentally crappy day with some eye candy. I teetered between wanting to give in to lustful urges and being a responsible adult. Then again, what if he’d just been fooling around when he’d extended his offer? How foolish would I feel for going out there to find out he would never show?

With a sigh, I finally relinquished voyeuristic fantasies and made my way back into the kitchen. There I poured my requisite glass of wine and decided to appease my carnal appetite with some good old comfort food in the way of delivery. Five pounds from now I might regret drowning my sorrows in food, but right now it was the only hug available to me. Just as I started to make my way to the telephone, menu in hand, however, the doorbell rang.

“Mrs. Pace?” Justin—Jason?—Jack from next door stood there looking even more obscenely good-looking clothed and in person. Imagine my surprise.

Last night I hadn’t been able to view his intense green eyes, the color fooling me in the darkness, or the light smattering of stubble along a strong jawline. I’d failed to recognize how tall he was or the immense size of his hands and feet. While I had been afforded a glorious view of his thick muscles, I saw now how clothes hid his physique.

“Can I help you?” I asked after finding my voice, hoping I didn’t sound as stunned as I felt.

“I’m Joshua Smith. From next door. We talked a little last night.”

That he could stand there and so boldly call what we’d done last night “talking” almost made me smile. “Ah. I recognize you now. The clothes threw me for a bit.”

His ears had the decency to turn shades. “Well, that’s why I’m here. I’m afraid I let one too many beers get in the way of my common sense. I…wanted to apologize for what I’d done. Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable in your own home—backyard, I suppose.”

He had no idea how wrong those words were. “Apology accepted. Thank you.”

Something about his sincere mortification deflated my ego. All day I’d imagined how this young man lusted after me with the same fervor I wanted him. I’d allowed myself to believe that when I came home this evening, I’d find him reclining in the poolside chair, naked as the day he was born, hard and ready for me. Maybe I’d watch surreptitiously or maybe I’d be direct by standing right in his sightline. Either way, I guess I’d made up my mind to take him up on his offer.

Joshua lifted his hand, which held a bottle of red wine. “The guy told me this is a good one. I hope you’ll accept it. I feel really bad about what happened.”

I chanced a quick glance at the label as he held it outstretched. Indeed he hadn’t been steered wrong. Moderately priced, it was still from a good winery. The burgundy liquid would go very well with my twice-bruised ego, but I didn’t feel right about taking it from him. “There’s no need, you know.”