Keeping Pace (9 page)

“Want me to get the coffee started?” he asked, pulling me out of reverie. “We have a few minutes yet.”

“That would be lovely, thanks. And Josh…” An apology teetered on the tip of my tongue, but it righted, staying inside.

He turned. “Hmm?”

We’d stopped outside the kitchen. “I’m looking forward to this.”

Josh studied my face, which probably wasn’t the best he’d ever seen it. I felt bleary-eyed still, and if he wasn’t here, would have turned back to bed. Heck, I still wanted to head upstairs, but we dated so rarely. As if he’d read my mind, he said, “Let’s go out on a real date, Regina. You and me.”

A bubble of panic hit my belly. He didn’t need to see my reaction, so I started toward the kitchen again. “I like our dates the way they are.”

“You don’t get tired of being at home all the time?”

“It’s the life I’ve become accustomed to. Being out in crowds, around other people…” I shrugged. “It just doesn’t appeal to me anymore.”

We both moved through the kitchen as if part of a choreographed dance, maneuvering around each other without any awkwardness or bumping body parts. Somehow in a few short weeks Josh had become enmeshed into my world. On some level, that bothered me. On another, it left me euphoric.

“But that was when you were alone. You have me now.”

I kept my gaze on the filling carafe, my back to him. “Do I?”

Warm arms embraced me from behind, and his breath brushed my ear. “Yeah, you do.” He slipped away only moments later, before I could relax into his hold. “We’re going to miss it if we don’t move it. The sunrise won’t wait for us.”

I nodded my agreement and went to work pouring creamer and sugar into my cup. Josh’s cup sat waiting on the coffee. As I reached for the carafe, it struck me that I now thought of the mug with the little chip on the handle as
his
cup. It was the one he reached for in the mornings, and somehow along the way, I’d associated it with him. Most of the items in the kitchen were bought by me, long before I’d met Josh, but I recognized going forward, at least one cup belonged to him. What else in this house had I assigned to the man I was sleeping with?

The thought still plagued me when I flicked on the light just outside the door, illuminating a small portion of the deck. Outside, the morning air was cooler than usual. I breathed it in deeply, letting it whisk away the last trace of sleep still in my system. More of nature’s green smell greeted my senses. A few early risers chirped, and I tried to locate the birds in the darkness.

The deck was slick with dew, but it felt good beneath my bare toes and the fingers I ran along the banister. Behind me, the wood creaked from Josh’s steps, but even that noise didn’t break the serenity surrounding us. There was a stillness to the neighborhood that insisted on quiet whispers, on hushed reverence. It felt like we were intruders into this solitude.

“It’s so beautiful out,” I whispered to Josh.

Taking a sip of coffee, I turned to catch his reply, then realized he wasn’t focused on our surroundings but on me. “How do you do that?”

I blinked. “Do what?”

“Look so amazing all the time.”

My hand flew to my flyaway hair, rushing to tuck it into place. His compliment shouldn’t have made me feel so self-conscious, but I was all too aware of my puffy, sleepy-lidded eyes. “Cut it out.”

“Seriously.” His whispered words held a measure of heat in them. “You’ve got this look… This sultry, seductive, come-hither look.”

“You’re just horny.”

His startled chuckle pierced the air until I shushed him. “You make me that way.”

“Hush.” We were still supposed to be at least miffed at each other. He wasn’t supposed to make me smile and blush so easily, so soon afterward. “You’re harshing my mellow.”

His lips were still curved in a sexy grin. “I wouldn’t want to do that.”

My heart tripped at the sight, and I had to turn and face the view to keep from giving in to impulse. “We’re supposed to be watching the sun rise, Josh.”

“Okay.”

His simple reply should have sent warnings firing to my brain. Instead I took him at face value, breath held while waiting for the sun. As I stood there, sipping my coffee between deep inhalations of the fresh air, I couldn’t help but think about Josh and where we were headed. This was not a romance between us, even after all this time, but what name to put to it?

Positioning himself behind me, Josh put his cup beside mine on the railing. I leaned back and, as I expected, came into contact with his body. Resting my head against his shoulder seemed to take the weight of the world away from me. I inhaled the scent of his cologne, the coffee and the morning air, and wanted to capture it to stow away forever.

“Whose idea was this again?” I murmured.

“Mine, I think.”

Eyes closed, I released a sigh. “Thank you.”

“No,
thank you
.”

My brow furrowed at his inflection, but I still blamed the early hour for my lack of understanding. The moment his large hands slid against the skin of my thighs, my morning drowsiness melted into sexual awareness. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing. Keep watching the horizon.”

But the way his fingers stroked up and down my thighs could not be considered “nothing”. His touch made my flesh break out in goose bumps and my heart pound harder. He massaged down my legs and back up, not missing the swell of my buttocks or my lower back. My eyes closed of their own volition, while I enjoyed the sensation he elicited.

“Are you still watching?” he asked, his voice husky.

I moaned in response.

My simple cotton nightgown was lifted, Josh’s hands finding the waist of my panties beneath. I did a quick mental recall of their state, thankful I hadn’t chosen to wear one of my more conservative pairs during his absence. These were simple cotton panties, high in the thigh, a soft pink color and, most importantly, flattering.

“Pretty in pink,” he whispered.

Suddenly I remembered where we were and the potential consequences of what he was doing. Since the deck was elevated enough to allow me to view into others’ backyards, a person standing at the right height might be able to spy on us.

I couldn’t get my hands on his fast enough. Trying to wrestle them away, I scanned the neighborhood houses. The sun was only minutes away from peeking over the horizon, its presence casting a hazy orange light. “Josh, someone might see.”

“No one will see. I promise.”

“But—”

“Trust me. I won’t let anyone see.” His fingers curled into the material of my panties. “It’s too early. Barely enough light to see by.” Soon the material peeled away from my body. “Just you and me, out here enjoying the morning.”

His foot nudged mine, a silent command to widen my stance. Unthinking, I followed his guidance with two short sidesteps.

He moved quickly, pulling my panties down until they dropped at my feet. I shivered when I stepped out of them, decadence wrapping around me. I was overwhelmed by the knowledge that beneath my nightgown, I stood nude.

“Keep your eyes on the horizon, Gina. Watch the sun.” He stood against me, pulling me tight against him. With one arm draped across my waist, holding me so tight, the other hand went between my legs. “Remember asking me what my fantasy was?”

“Yeah.” My jaw brushed his as I spoke.

“I want to make love to you outdoors. Out here. Like this.”

His choice of words yanked me out of my arousal-induced haze.
Make love
. Josh and I had never made love. We couldn’t make love. To do so meant we had to be in love. We had sex, or we fucked. I couldn’t accept anything else.

Before I had a chance to stop him or at least redirect his thoughts, Josh brought his fingers to my mouth. “Wet them for me.”

I pulled them inside, already tasting some of my arousal. My tongue swirled around his two fingers, and I applied suction. In my mind, it was his cock that I pleasured. Through my actions, Josh would know the depth of my lust—not love—for him.

He withdrew them long before I’d had my fill, delving between my legs to find my swollen clit. His touch was light and unhurried as he rubbed lazy circles on me.

Anyone who chose then to look up would see Josh standing behind me, while I stood stock-still, my teeth biting into my bottom lip. We were situated closely enough together that the motion of his hand would go unnoticed. My nightgown covered our actions.

Soon, I was so very wet. So very aroused. I needed him inside me, and Josh sensed that need.

Making my position ready for him, I bent forward, just enough so he’d be angled perfectly. I heard the sound of foil tearing, and then he was pushing inside me, inch by teasing inch filling me in slow strokes. I felt his sweatpants brush against me; I knew the feel of his shirt against my back. The idea of us being intimate while practically still clothed, on display for any and everyone, left me shuddering.

Josh drove into me, faster and faster and made the world disappear until there was nothing around us. Nothing there but the two of us connected by this act. Finding fulfillment in each other.

“The sun,” he gasped. “Watch the sun.”

It crested the horizon at the same moment I was forced to close my eyes. An orgasm washed over me in those seconds, and it took everything within me not to cry out against the pleasure. A strangled noise fought its way out of my throat, and I tried to hold it back but failed. I needed to let Josh know I couldn’t take anymore, that I was shattered beneath the weight of ecstasy, but then Josh put his head next to mine. He groaned a long, breathy sound, his body jerking behind me. When at last he went still, he clung to me as if being inside me still kept him upright.

Together we caught our breaths, panting for air, taking in the sunrise.

Chapter Ten

By the time I strolled into my office on Monday morning, I honestly could say I hadn’t given Lou, the promotion or his proposal another thought all weekend. Josh and I had slept in after our morning tryst, and when we finally rose, I’d felt domestic. Together we’d made homemade cinnamon rolls from a recipe I’d inherited from my grandmother. After they were done, we’d eaten more than should be allowed by law. Reading the newspaper together, in between watching bad sci-fi on television, seemed the perfect way to finish our Sunday.

“Good morning, Linda.” I stopped by her desk and retrieved some documents that needed my signature.

“One of these days you’ll bring him by, or at least invite us over to meet him,” she replied.

I smiled, not bothering to tease her with a response, but my heart did a little backflip when I thought about Josh. I’d left him curled up in bed, and before I’d left, I watched him, once again marveling at his youth. I don’t know if it was something I would ever get over.

“Lou’s looking for you, by the way.”

I frowned. “Already? When did he get here?”

“With the newspaper boy, I think.”

“Did he say what he wanted?”

“No, but…” She glanced around her before leaning closer. “I wanted to ask you about that. What’s going on with him and Beth?”

That question flummoxed me. “What have you heard?” With the way I interrogated her this morning, I felt like a reporter.

“Nothing concrete. They’ve just been very chummy lately. If it was after her promotion, I’d say it was about her new job, but it was before then, so…” Linda shrugged as if to say
something hinky’s going on here
.

My frown deepened. I didn’t want to engage in office gossip—okay, yes I did. I wanted whatever scoop Linda had on Lou and Beth.

Then again, Lou was supposed to be my friend. If there was anything going on I needed to know about, he’d tell me. Anything I didn’t need to know about just wasn’t my business.

But for his sake, I’d keep an ear out. Just in case.

“I’ll give him a call after I’ve settled in. If it’s anything important, I’m sure he’ll find me.” I started to walk away but then turned back. “And Linda, you’ll let me know anything you know, right?”

“Naturally.”

I mentally fist pumped the air.
All right
.

Time flew by, once again forcing me to push Lou out of my mind for the morning. While most of my projects were in the final stages, it seemed everything demanded my attention at once. Not for anything major, but for little details intent on driving me over the edge. By the time I stormed away from my desk to grab another cup of coffee, if for nothing else than to step away from the mundaneness, I thought seriously about leaving for the day. Until I realized it wasn’t even noon.

Counting to ten and exhaling slowly helped calm my growing agitation as I made my way to the community coffee. Then I saw only dregs were left behind in the carafe. “Who drank the last of the coffee and didn’t make a new pot?”

I swear I was growling by the time I got a new pot going. Lou walked in, in time to listen to me grinding my teeth.

“Whoa, you okay there?”

“Just little things annoying me.” I continued where I’d left off, counting from ten to twenty slowly, and tried to push out my frustration.

“Well, at the risk of annoying you even further, have you had a chance to think about what we discussed?”

The only things swirling through my mind were overextended budgets, failed marketing plans and missed deadlines. “Remind me, what did we discuss?”

Lou did a quick survey of the room. We were alone, and that seemed to put him at ease. “The job opportunity…and the consequences of taking it.”

Internally, I groaned. This wasn’t what I wanted to discuss. Not even by a long shot. Lou couldn’t have picked worse timing if he’d tried. “Lou—”

“Wait. Before you say anything, I want to tell you what I didn’t get to finish on Saturday.” He didn’t say it, but I knew he was thinking about Josh. I never did explain his relationship to me while Lou had been in my house. “But first, tell me what it is you need.”

“What I need?” I blinked in surprise.

“After Patrick passed, the timing wasn’t right for us. Have you ever thought about why that was?”

I fought the urge to mention the bad sex. “I guess I needed a shoulder to cry on, and you were very kind to me.”