Keeping the Beat: An Adrenaline Novel (4 page)

              Not too long ago she had been a curious little girl who seemed to follow me wherever I went. Then we had left on our first world tour. A few months later we had returned home for Kenzie’s college graduation and I had been running from my feelings for her ever since.

              When I’d knocked on her bedroom door I’d expected to be greeted by my Kenzie. The girl with frizzy curls and dirt under her nails. My little one. Instead I was met by a stunning woman who had thrown her arms around me, pressing every delicious curve into my body.

              My little one was nowhere to be found.

              At ten Kenzie had wrapped me around her little finger. At seventeen she had gripped my heart in her tiny fist and hadn't let it go.

              Being near her but not being able to kiss her or touch her the way I so desperately wanted to was pure torture. I had never been jealous of my cousin before seeing a teenage Kenzie climb into Garret’s lap when we had been watching a scary movie. I was still surprised the glass I had been gripping so tightly hadn't shattered. It was around that time that I had started partying more. I drank and slept around trying to distract myself from the guilt of wanting Kenzie when she was so young.

              On the night of her last birthday when she had kissed me, I was so bombed I had given in for a minute thinking it was a dream. The guys and I had thrown her a party and she’d worn a bright red dress that left little to the imagination. Kenzie was everything I could have ever wished for and more. She was kind, smart, and so fucking beautiful she took my breath away every time I looked at her.

              When she’d whispered that she loved me, I felt like I had been dosed in cold water. I wasn't worthy of Kenzie’s love even in my dreams. The next morning I’d woken up next to Sydney and the worst hangover of my life. After taking a cold shower, I’d found Kenzie and Garret snuggling on the couch at my aunt's house, neither of them happy to see me.            

A part of me had expected Garret to come swinging at me for kissing Kenzie. I was shocked when he’d kept silent, never mentioning the kiss although there was no doubt in my mind Kenzie had told him. She’d started giving him pieces of herself that she gave to no one else.

              Pieces that used to be mine.

              The day I met Kenzie Kane she had become apart of me. Almost like an extra limb I always expected to be there, though you wouldn't know it from the way I had been acting this past year. It wasn't a secret that Kenzie deserved much better than the likes of me. My behavior for these past few months had done nothing but prove that.

              I’d made sure of it.

              Filled with self loathing and regret I laid back on my bed and laced my hands behind my head. I was going to have to accept the fact that sleep and I were no longer on a first name basis

Chapter 3

Kenzie

              By the time we'd gotten all of my stuff into Reece's house I was a hot sweaty mess. It was early September and the summer heat was staying strong. The guys had done majority of the heavy lifting but I knew my muscles were still going to be sore come morning.

              It would be worth it.

              After the last box had been unloaded the twins had bailed along with my brother and Reece which left Garret and I with the rest of the work. Garret had a date with Jared in town later which was part of the reason he'd offered to help me out the rest of the afternoon.

I knew my friend was the reason Jace hadn't shown up today and I was grateful for the intervention. Since our encounter in the kitchen we had done a great job of avoiding each other. There was no reason to stop that now. 

              "This is going to be good for you Kenzie," Garret nodded in approval as he looked around the living room. "Step one on the plan to getting over him is complete.”

I almost wished I hadn't told Garret about my plan to get over Jace, but we had been in similar situations then. I'd thought he had needed a plan too until he and his secret boyfriend made up a few weeks ago.

              Garret had been seeing Reece's cousin Jared on and off for more than a year now but he still hadn't told the family. That was why Jared had called it quits for good about two months ago. Garret had been absolutely miserable. Less than a week later he had been miserable. Less than a week later he had  thrown himself at Jared's feet, promising that he was going to work on his issues. The only reason Garret had confided in me about it was because I had been just as heartbroken.

              When I had found a
gguide to ggetting oover hhim
article in a magazine at Reece's house I had taken it as a sign. One of the steps was to stop feeling sorry for yourself and that was something I had been doing for far too long. It was past time I got over my daydreams of Jason Craw sweeping me off of my feet and did something useful with my time.

              After confronting my mom last month I felt like I had finally found the courage to make some necessary changes. Mara had contacted Declan out of the blue and played on his sympathies claiming she was dying, conning him out of thousands of dollars. When we'd discovered she'd been lying I'd decided to make it clear we were through with her once and for all. Thinking about the look on her face when I'd punched her still made my heart soar.

              Even though I hadn't wanted to admit it, my mother still had some power over me even though I'd hardly seen her since I was nine years old. Now I felt like I could take a breath without her shadow looming over me, telling me I’d never be good enough.

              "Have you thought about your next move?" Garret asked as he sat on the couch, resting his feet on the coffee table. Reece and Declan has opted to buy all new furniture for their house. The only thing they had taken from Reece's had been her bed, which was more than okay with me. I didn't want to think about what had happened on that bed.

              I gave Garret a pointedpointed look making him laugh. "I should have asked what is your next move?"

              "I got a job bartending at JJ's," I answered running my tongue over my teeth. "Emma and I got to talking and she offered me the job. I got my certification last week."  Garret starting shaking his head making me want to scream. My family still treated me like I was a child, right down to the patronizing nickname.

              "I don't know if that's a good idea, Little One."

              Right on time.

              "Stop," I nearly shouted as I  as I scowled ledat him. No matter how much I loved my family, they weren't going to be making my decisions for me any longer. "This accomplishes multiple goals for me. On the
guide to getting over him
it says I need to go out and meet new people. There's one," I held up a finger. "Two, trying something new. I've never had a job before, which is absolutely ridiculous."

              Garret let out a laugh. "Most people would kill to be able to say that."

              "I shouldn't rely on my brother to support me.” Before Garret could interrupt me again I continued, "Bartending also lets me apply my psych background so it really works out all around."

              With a solemn look on his face Garret shrugged. "Fine but you're not to walk to or from your car by yourself at night or after closing. I'll make sure Jared walks you."

              "Good lord, Garret..” I slammed the box I was carrying down. "Are you going to let me do this or not? I thought you were on my side."

              Garret's green eyes widened on my face. “Kenzie, I'm always on your side."

              "Then fucking act like it."

              "You're right. I'm sorry," Garret nodded his head a stood from the couch. Though he was the twins’’ older brother, Garret looked more like Jace than Lucas and Wyatt. He took a tentative step towards me holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm team Kenzie, I swear."

              My lips twitched which is what he had wanted. "Maybe I can hook you up with some free drinks."

              "You know I sleep with the owner right? I can drink for free now."

              “Yeah, yeah..” I rolled my eyes even though I was happy for my friend. He’d been a messa mess without Jared. “How’s your man by the way?”

              A dopey grin came across Garret’s face. “Good. We’re supposed to take a trip together soon. I was thinking somewhere with an ocean.”

              “When are you going to tell everyone?”

              “Sunday dinner.” He answered so quickly it took me a second to realize he wasn't launching into his usual explaination for not telling ourour family about his relationship.

              “Really,” I drawled with my eyebrows raised. “That’s awesome, Garret.”

              He nodded briskly. “It’ll be fine.”

              “More than. You’re going to feel so much better.” It was still hard for me to understand why Garret was so reluctant to talk to oureveryone when I knew they were going to support him no matter what. The Cooper men had always had a hard time expressing themselves. Even before Mr. Cooper died the boys were tight lipped about their feelings.. TThat had only worsened after their dad’s accident. While Wyatt hid behind his jokes and smart aleck attitude, Lucas and Garret were emotionally closed off. The same could be said for Jace.

              I only knew so much about Jace’s life before he had moved in with the Cooper’s and the information I had gotten was mostly second hand from Wyatt. From what he knew Jace’s life in Australia was hardly picture perfect. According to Wyatt, Jace’s dad had a wicked temper. I’d often wondered if that was why Jace tried so hard to reign in his own anger at times.

              “I know you’re right. It’s been a long time coming,” Garret sighed. “Jared wanted to come with me but I would be more comfortable if it was just us. I don’t want to chance having him see one of my brother’s having a bad reaction.”

              “That’s not going to happen.”

              Garret scowled at me. “I thought you were on my side.”

              Laughing I wrapped my arms around his waist giving him a smacking kiss on the cheek. “Garret, I’m always on your side.”

              “Fucking right.”

Jace

              I decided to put my pent up energy to good use by getting some chores done around the farm. It had been a day since Kenzie moved to town but it felt like more to me. Even though we hadn't been the best of friends lately, she had always been close by where I could see her, where I knew she had everything she needed. I felt restless without her around, like something was missing.

              Probably because she was.

              Thankfully she was coming to Sunday dinner tonight otherwise I probably would have found myself knocking on her door looking a lot like the pathetic head case I was. Checking the time, I headed back to my house to grab a shower before I had to report over to my aunt’s to be on time for dinner. When I jogged up my steps I kept my head down, cursing because I didn't have a hairband to keep my hair out of my eyes.

              Another thing Kenzie had taken with her.

              I showered in record time anxious to get over to my aunt’s if for no other reason than I hadn't eaten since breakfast. As I was walking across the yard I heard a car pulling into the driveway and stopped in my tracks, frowning when I saw Garret’s familiar blue truck. 

              Pulling to a stop, my cousin climbed out of the car and jogged over to me with a shit eating grin on his face. He looked a lot less run down then when I had last seen him. I knew he had been stressing about something for a while now, but despite the constant badgering the twins, Declan and I did, we couldn't get him to talk about what it was. Aunt Lorraine said he would tell us when he was ready, whatever that was supposed to mean.

              “Hey man,” he said coming up behind me and clapping me on the back. I grunted at the force of it and shrugged his hand off of my shoulder.

              “Where you been?” I asked suspiciously.

              “I had a date that went really, really well,” he answered with a wink as he walked up the porch steps. “How’s everything around here?”

              “Fine,” I answered shortly, already feeling annoyed with my cousin. If he was talking about having a really good date with Kenzie he was a dead man.

              Garret gave me a funny look but continued on like I hadn't spoken. “I was in the neighborhood and offered to pick up Kenzie but she said she was going to drive herself.” He reached forward to open the front door and
before I realized what I was doing I had slammed it shut again. I pushed hard on Garret’s shoulder until we were standing toe to toe.

              “What the fuck, Jace?” he asked meeting my stern expression with one of his own.

              “That’s what I would like to know, Garret.” I forced my fists to remain at my sides. “What the fuck was that about yesterday? Banishing me to the farm instead of letting me help Kenzie move. Did you want to make yourself look better in her eyes?” My voice lowered as I pushed my face closer to his. Just thinking about it made me see red. “Was she who your date was with?”

              Garret’s gaze narrowed on me as he shoved me back a step. “First of all, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” He straightened his spine so that we were standing eye to eye. Out of the five of us I was the biggest, but Garret was the only one who could give me a run for my money.

    “Secondly, who Kenzie’s dates is her decision, not yours. If I’m remembering correctly, you fucked up the chance you had with her.” The memory of it seemed to anger him more as he shoved me again. “What changed between then and now, huh? This past year you’ve done nothing but treat her like shit, Jace. She’s not an idiot, she knows what she’s worth and there are other guys out there who know it too. Don’t make the mistake of thinking she’s sat around pining for you all this time.”

              I snapped my teeth together snarling at my cousin. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

              Garret tugged at his hair looking at me like I had lost my mind. Hell, I probably had.

              “You're not naive enough to think Kenzie is always going to be hung up on you. She’s working on moving on since you made it abundantly clear she wasn't your type.” I felt my heart drop to my feet as jealousy threatened to consume me. I didn't think I was good enough for Kenzie, but that didn't mean that anyone else was either.

              Garret and I were both breathing heavy as we eyed each other warily. Finally my cousin broke the tense silence. “I’ve never had romantic feelings for Kenzie, Jace. And I can say with extreme confidence that she hasn't thought of me like that either. She’s my family Jace, my little one. If you would open your goddamn eyes for once you’d see that and stop trying to pick a fucking fight with me at every turn.” His face grew hard as he continued to stare me down.

              The front door to the house opened and I turned to see Simon standing in the doorway with Reece’s dog Loki. Both boy and dog cocked their heads to the side staring at Garret and I on the porch.“What are you guys doing?” He asked looking up at us through wide eyes. “You both look pissed!”

              “Simon!” Lucas scolded from the kitchen.

              “They do though, Dad!” Simon complained. Lucas walked up behind him with a frown on his face. He sized up the situation between us and narrowed his eyes briefly before nudging his son towards the kitchen.

              “Go get washed up,” he ordered before looking back at us. “Do you guys need a minute? Simon’s right you both look like you’re seconds away from hitting each other.”

              “My money's on Jace,” Wyatt called out. “Sorry brother but he’s meaner than you. And bigger.” Standing up from the chair he was occupying in the living room, Wyatt crossed over to the front door to stand next to his twin. “What are we fighting about?”

              “We’re not fighting,” Garret explained walking into the house. He looked like he wanted to knock his brothers heads together, which I had seen him do more than once. Taking off his coat, he hung it on the hook before shucking off his boots. Walking into the kitchen Garret pressed a kiss to Reece’s cheek then his mother’s.