Kei's Gift (102 page)

“You must—we both must,” he said, sliding his hand up into Kei’s hair. “Will you do me a favour?”

“Anything. What do you need?”

“You—let me love you tonight?”

Kei laid his cheek against Arman’s, and cupped the back of his head. “Do what you wish,” he said in a low voice.

“You don’t really feel like sex, do you,” Arman said, looking into his eyes.

Kei stared, then shook his head. “No. I’m sorry.”

Arman held him close, burying his nose in Kei’s hair. “Don’t apologise. Why don’t we go to bed? We really do need to get some sleep.”

“I don’t think I can. My gut’s in a knot and I keep thinking....” He took a deep breath and tried to smile. “You know what I keep thinking.”

“I know. Just come to bed. I want you in my arms. I need it.”

Kei nodded and pulled away so he could stand and strip, folding his clothes with care. Arman waited until he was nude before pulling him back into his arms. “You’re not undressed,” Kei said with a little pout.

“Because I’m waiting for you to do it for me.”

Kei raised an eyebrow, even as he unlaced Arman’s shirt. “This is the man who prides himself on doing everything for himself?”

“Can I help it if I love the feel of your hands on me?”

Kei smiled. “Ah, an ulterior motive. I knew there had to be one.” He drew Arman’s shirt over his head. “Does your leg hurt very badly?”

“It aches, but it always aches. It’s strong enough for tomorrow.”

Kei’s expression shuttered as he helped Arman get out of his trousers, and then removed his loincloth. Arman could guess what thoughts were plaguing him, but there wasn’t much comfort he could offer. Arman lay back on the bunk—they’d had to arrange things very carefully so Kei didn’t keep knocking his bad side, but they had managed it eventually—and Kei lay down beside him, resting in Arman’s loose embrace, and pulling the blankets over them. It was a warm night, and the covers weren’t that necessary, but Arman sensed Kei was making a more symbolic gesture, shutting the world out. He kissed Kei’s temple. “You taste salty.”

“I had a wash earlier—can’t waste too much fresh water rinsing everything off. Just the important bits.”

“Hmmm.” Arman licked a little more of the saltiness away from Kei’s face, as his hand stole over his chest, trailing up and down gently. Kei’s smooth skin was a wonder to him, a perpetual delight, and Kei loved to be touched. Now Kei was back in a semi-normal environment, Arman had noted how often Kei patted or hugged or kissed his friends, and how they did the same to him. He thrived on it. What it would have been like for Kei if they had not found a good reason for Arman to touch and hold him during his imprisonment? He suspected his lover would have suffered very badly from the deprivation.

Kei was still rather tense and if they were both to sleep, he would have to do what Kei often did for him, and help him relax. He settled him a little more comfortably in his arms, and brought his hand up to one of Kei’s nipples, rolling it a little, less firmly than if they had been making love, but more than just a caress. Immediately Kei tensed, but then relaxed, a little sigh of pleasure puffing from his lips. Arman kept up the movement as he kissed Kei’s jaw, licking under it in the little hollow there, and feeling Kei shiver a little. He responded readily to certain stimuli, and Arman was making a careful study of all his sensitive areas, working as carefully as he would plan any battle, memorising the lay of the land, where the vulnerabilities were, and where a sneak attack would be most successful.

But that tactic was for when he wanted to arouse rather than to soothe, and he wanted to gentle Kei now, ease his fears for a little while, so he concentrated on small, slow pleasure, rather than large jolts of sensation, moving his hand lightly over Kei’s chest and stomach, stroking and playing a little.

After a little of his, Kei calmed, tension lessening in that long, lean body, his breathing slowing and deepening. Would he sleep now, or should Arman continue the exploration he had begun? If he asked, he might break the spell, and Kei might wake up too much to ever have a chance of sleeping this night, when they both had so many worries to grind on them. He let his hand drift lower, casually, without apparent destination, but as he reached the crisp hair at the base of Kei’s stomach, he found his lover was erect—so not quite as sleepy and relaxed as Arman thought. He could ignore it, he supposed, let Kei’s body take the path of least resistance, continuing the stroking and touching. But at the same time, they were new lovers, and the ability to make Kei respond to his touch was an almost irresistible temptation.

“May I?” he whispered, wrapping his hand around Kei’s cock. “Or do you want to sleep?”

Kei tilted his head so he could kiss Arman. “Please,” he breathed.

They’d never done it in this position, or without the cream to help. But this was as familiar to Arman as walking, since his teenage years and married life had offered but this one means of release, the only guiltless pleasure he could take. Certainly it was odd to have his hand on another man’s cock, and to be at a different angle, but he found himself finding an easy rhythm soon enough, taking it gentle and slow, always waiting for a sign he was hurting Kei or that his lover was weary of the touch. Kei was only too happy to let him continue, one arm slung over Arman’s body, his face buried in Arman’s neck, his breath coming in short, hot, gasps against Arman’s skin as his arousal grew.

It was all over rather quickly, Kei stiffening and then coming in complete silence, his semen hot against Arman’s hand. Arman threw the blankets back and collected the mess, wondering what to do with it—but Kei drew his hand up to his mouth and lapped at it.

“I should do that,” Arman murmured, leaning over to help, licking his hand, and Kei’s mouth, and his chin and his slightly salty face. It didn’t taste so bad this time—maybe because he’d grown used to it, or maybe because kissing Kei made everything more pleasurable.

Kei settled again, and reached down for him. Arman brushed his hand aside. “I’m fine. I just want to sleep.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m tired and I need to hold you.” He stroked a few stray hairs back from Kei’s face, regretting he hadn’t been able to play with Kei’s loosed braid as he loved to, and hoping he would get the chance to do so again. “Sleep. Give me all your worries for this night.”

It was all he could do. To speak of the coming day would be to awaken all their fears and anxieties. To talk of the past...? No, nor of the future. To get through this night, they could only think of the now, being with each other, safe for the moment. The world could wait a few hours, Arman thought, drawing the blankets back over them both, and keeping it at bay.

It was still dark when there came a quiet knock on the cabin door. Arman was already awake, and from the way Kei immediately tensed up, he’d not been asleep either. Arman called to the sailor to come in. The man did, bringing a tray and a lamp, and telling them it was half an hour to dawn. Arman thanked him and he left.

He kissed Kei, then urged him to sit, since there was no way of escaping the bunk without his cooperation. Kei got up, not looking at him and not speaking, and the hunched way he moved as he found his clothes told Arman how upset he was. He came over and took Kei into his arms. “I’m sorry. I wish there was another way.”

Kei turned to him with reddened eyes, but a calm expression. “You have to do this. Just do your job, I’ll do mine. Then come home to me.”

Arman stroked his hand down Kei’s braid. “Neka will moderate things for you. Let her and Reji help you.”

“I will, because I want you concentrating on one thing—doing this successfully. That means getting out alive too. Don’t let them ask for you in exchange for anything.”

“Not even Jena and the others?”

Kei went very still, and closed his eyes. “Gods, Arman,” he whispered. “Please...don’t let it come to that. Please.”

“I’ll do my best, but ultimately, if one is to be sacrificed to save sixty-nine, and one is me.... I can’t refuse.” Kei clutched at his shirt, but said nothing. Arman kissed him and held him, but then set him free. “I have to go.”

“Yes, I know. Do you want me to rub your leg before you go? Loosen it up?”

Arman stretched it. “If you can do it while I eat, yes, it would help. I don’t want it failing at a crucial moment.”

“Jera told me he’d make sure you were all right.” Now Kei was firmly in his professional role, dressing quickly and fetching the pot of massage ointment, pretending Arman’s weak limb was his only concern. Arman ate the hard bread and drank the fresh jombeker milk had been sent down as his breakfast, while Kei briskly massaged and rubbed his right leg. Arman’s body was still stiff all over—the bunk didn’t offer much room—but there wasn’t a lot to be done about it. At least he’d slept all the way through the night. He wasn’t sure Kei had.

Kei was done in a few minutes, and then Arman finished dressing. This morning he took particular care over his appearance, and Kei groomed his hair carefully for him, even combing his beard, which really needed trimming but there was no time for that now. “I suppose it’s a shame we didn’t bring your armour from the fort,” Kei said in an all too obvious attempt to appear good-humoured.

“It might send the wrong signal—that we’re afraid of them.”

“You should be afraid of them. I am,” Kei said, clenching the comb in his hand.

“So am I. But damned if I’m going to let those bastards know that. I have to get moving.”

“Yes. Let’s go.”

But he didn’t move to follow Arman, and when Arman turned to find out why, he saw Kei standing still, trembling, his hands clenching and unclenching. As Arman approached him, he backed away. “It’s funny...last time I was scared like this was...when you came...took me...took me hostage....” He wrapped his arms around himself and looked at Arman, his eyes dark with desperation.

“Gods,” Arman whispered, his heart breaking to see his lover in such agony. He pulled him close, and laid his cheek against Kei’s. “I wish there was an answer, some surety...I can’t give it to you. It’ll be over in a few hours.”

Kei clutched at him, but only a few moments, he pushed Arman back. “I’m sorry. I’m being stupid.”

“You’re being a perfectly decent human being. Now come.”

“Wait—let me say goodbye here. If I do it on deck, I’ll fall apart.” He kissed Arman, trembling hands combing gently through his hair. “Whatever happens this day, know that I’m yours, in this life and the next.”

He took Kei’s hand and kissed it. “I’ll be back before night.”

Kei nodded. “Yes, you’d better be.”

Arman held his hand as he limped out into the corridor and up the stairs to the deck. Lord Meki was there, looking impatient. “I was just coming to get you, general.” In fact, dawn had barely broken, the sky gorgeously coloured in pink and gold, so Arman wasn’t really late at all. Lord Meki was just anxious, his sharp face tight with worry. It wasn’t on his own behalf.

The crew were all assembled, waiting for the departure of their leaders. Arman led Kei to Neka, who’d stay with this ship for her own protection. The mind-speaker was far too valuable for them to risk, not that any of the Gifted would be anything less than a terrible loss. The hostages would be returned to this vessel too and kept away from any battle on shore. She slid her arms around Kei’s waist. “Don’t be sad,” she said gently. “I’ll watch over him, Arman.”

“Thank you.” He turned to Reji, standing with the waiting beasts. The trader nodded—there was no need to say more to him. Reji knew what was needed.
Neka, if anything appears to be going wrong, make sure you don’t let Kei link to you, and keep him numb until you get help for him.

Of course,
she said calmly.
I know what needs to be done.

Kei looked at him, his heart in his eyes, but making every effort to be composed. Arman nodded to him also, and then resolutely turned towards the Rulers. The Gifted were there too—all but Neka were transferring over to one of the two troop vessels now taking the lead position as they sailed towards Utuk. She would keep everyone linked all day, and any of them would be able to mind-speak to anyone else as a result. Arman still couldn’t get over how easily this was done, and what an enormous advantage it gave the Darshianese in any battle.

Once they gathered into a group, Reis and Jera transferred Arman, the Rulers and the Gifted. Even having experienced the phenomenon several times as he and the Gifted rehearsed their plans for this day, Arman could never get used to the sensation of flying—the effortlessness of it was astonishing, and Jera and Reis never seemed to have to even think about what they were doing.

He and the others landed on the deck softly as a kiss. “There you go, Arman—I promised Kei I’d mind your leg,” Jera said with a wink.

“So you did. Right, Kira, you’re our power, go to it.”

They were still some forty miles from Utuk, and they couldn’t afford to be becalmed or lose any speed. Kira brought up the wind to keep them advancing at a steady pace which should see them there in three hours. But Reis and Jera would be needed before that. Between their current position and Utuk lay two small islands, both forming part of the network of signal beacons which would alert Kuplik of any attack. These had to be disabled without causing any suspicion on the main island itself.