Kei's Gift (89 page)

“I....” Reji’s shoulders slumped. “I just can’t bear to see you go into danger and not lift a finger to help,” he said in a quiet, defeated voice. “You don’t know how I felt that day, riding off with the others. I felt like my heart was lying in the road, cut into a million pieces. If anything happened to you and I didn’t at least try to stop it this time....” Then he straightened. “But as you wish it...I see I have no right any more to argue this. I’ll be returning to the village today, Kei. Please....” He turned to Arman. “Please bring him home,” he whispered.

“Reji....” Kei just wanted to hold Reji again and kiss him. He couldn’t do that with Arman there—but his old lover looked heartbroken...or even just broken....

“You’re an expert with urs beasts, are you not?”

At Arman’s clipped words, Reji turned around—he’d been heading to the door. “Yes, I am. So what?”

Kei looked at his lover in puzzlement. “Arman?”

“We need someone to manage the beasts we’re taking. We’ll also need someone who can help us get the hostages home. Can you be spared from your village, even for months? I can make no promises as to when you will return—or even if.”

Reji’s expression brightened. “It will be a slight struggle for them, but they’ve managed before. I’m the best beast manager in north Darshian, and I know more about putting a caravan together than anyone in Darshek.”

Arman turned to Kei. “Is this true?”

“Yes, but are you serious?”

Arman took his hand. “We do need someone for this, and every soldier we don’t take is another who can stay to defend Darshek and the rest of Darshian. If you consent, and he wishes it, I’ll put it to Lord Meki. However....” He turned to Reji, still holding Kei’s hand tightly. “Touch me again in anger, and you won’t just answer to me. Shout like that again at me, or anyone under my command while we’re afloat, and I’ll have you put overboard. This is a military expedition, not a children’s playground, and displays of that order could cost lives. If you can control yourself, and your boasts are true, then come, and be welcome as any friend of Kei’s is to me. If you can’t, better you turn around and walk out rather than have you risk anyone for your tantrums.”

“Reji? I really don’t want you to come, but I won’t object if you wish to.” Kei tugged himself free from Arman, but gave him a quick kiss before he left his side to stand in front of Reji. “But please consider this carefully.”

“I don’t need to. Those are my people too, and you’re my...friend. I want to do it. And yes,” he said past Kei’s shoulder to Arman, “I understand all you say. But if you—”

Kei put his hand over Reji’s mouth. “Don’t. You’ve made your position clear. But I belong to no one and I’ll have no threats, do you hear? Don’t make me have to walk away from you. Force me to choose and there is no choice.” Reji nodded. “Thank you,” Kei said, and then pulled Reji into a hug which Reji returned with crushing strength, and overwhelming gratitude and relief. “You can be such an arse,” he whispered, but he was no longer in the least angry with him.

He felt Reji trembling and he guessed his friend had not had much sleep again. In fact, the whole period of Kei’s absence had to have been a torment for him. With one thing and another, Kei hadn’t had much chance to make it up to him. “Have you eaten? We were about to have breakfast.”

“No, I’ve been too worried.”

“Then stay and eat, then you can join us for whatever Arman is planning with meetings and such. Yes, Arman?” He asked permission with his eyes, and Arman nodded. His lover was a little wary, but Kei was determined to end this bad blood immediately, not just for his own and Arman’s sake, and Reji’s, but because Reji’s acceptance of Arman would make a difference to all their futures.

Reji pulled away from him “Just let me change my clothes, Kei, and bring yours down here. I’ll return shortly.”

“Then I’ll order more food,” Arman said calmly.

Kei could have sighed with relief. Finally everyone was behaving like adults. He and his overstrained gift were very grateful for it.

~~~~~~~~

Arman went to the bell-pull to summon the housekeeper, and then turned to Kei. “This wasn’t exactly how I imagined my first morning with you would go,” he said, keeping his tone deliberately mild—it wasn’t Kei’s fault. Or even Reji’s, really. “But I have to warn you in all fairness—if Lord Meki overrules me on this, not only will I not argue with him, but if you or Reji try, I’ll have you taken into custody for your own protection. This isn’t a game. I know you know that.”

“Yes, I do,” Kei said quietly, coming to him and taking his hand. “Thank you. That was a very good thing you did.”

Arman kissed him, reminding himself of the wonderful softness of Kei’s lips. “I know Reji’s suffered because of what I’ve done—and he’s suffering now. I’m not going to give you up to help him, I’m not that noble—but I’ll do what else I can.” He pulled Kei close. “Besides, he reminded me this is a Darshianese mission, about Darshianese citizens. Really, I’ve no right to stop any of you if you want to participate. Who am I to say that their future is best placed in my hands, when it is I who ripped them from their homes in the first place?”

“Enough of that,” Kei said sternly. “And I meant what I said to Reji—I won’t allow people to keep flinging accusations at you. The deaths at Ai-Darbin have been examined and laid to rest and the spirits of the dead boys aren’t served by these recriminations. The hostages aren’t served by an endless examination of history either.”

“Perhaps not, Kei-gidu,” he said, deliberately using the honorific, and meaning it too. “I remain worried and insist on the right to state that fact. However, if you two are coming, then it will free up soldiers. Are you up to coming with me to the barracks this morning?” Arman brushed the bump on Kei’s head, making his lover wince. “You know, that looks perfectly hideous.”

“It feels horrible too—don’t touch it. No, I’m all right. Reji’s tired though. Perhaps if we visit this morning, I could persuade him to come back and rest for a while. When are you meeting Reis and the other Gifted again?”

“This evening, when we’ll meet to go over our final plans. I’ll introduce you to the others. Reji doesn’t need to come to that, but,” he said as he kissed the inviting angle of Kei’s jaw, a particularly sensitive place, “as they’ll see us interacting other than in a professional way, it seems right that they know who you are and what you bring to this.”

“Yes, that’s fair,” Kei breathed, even as his hand stole under Arman’s shirt. “I want you,” he whispered.

Gods....
He’d never had this delicious problem before, how to refuse a tormentingly beautiful lover because he had a damn mission to plan. “Kei...my control isn’t that perfect, you know, and we have things....”

“...to do, I know.” Kei stepped back. “You’re just so good to touch.”

“And you may do so, but—” There was a knock on the door. Arman took a deep breath and plastered a polite smile on his face before opening the door, informing the housekeeper there would be three for breakfast, and closing the door again.

Kei pounced and for several minutes, all Arman could do was let his clever lover plunder his mouth, as he held onto the wall for support. It wasn’t until there was a second knock that he found the control to push Kei firmly back, and even as he straightened his clothing, he couldn’t help but feel a little proud of the pout on Kei’s beard-reddened lips. “Now, behave. Remember my position.”

Kei raised an eyebrow. “I could teach you some new ones,” he said with a wicked grin.

Arman growled and turned his back resolutely. He opened the door to the servants bringing breakfast. Behind them was Reji, with two packs in his hand, and, once he saw Arman, a rather knowing look on his face which made Arman flush bright red. Gods, how was he supposed to handle having two men at his breakfast table who knew exactly how the other responded, and how they looked when they’d just been indulging in unseemly behaviour?

However, Reji said nothing, and seemed to have recovered both his equilibrium and his manners, handing Kei his clothes and waiting to be invited to sit. He seemed a little subdued—he was, as Kei said, obviously tired, probably having spent a sleepless night worrying about Kei, as Arman would have done himself if Kei had not finally decided to stop torturing them both. That Reji was miserable at giving Kei up to someone he disliked—or to anyone—was also perfectly obvious. Arman refused to play a possessive lover. If Kei wanted to comfort Reji in any way he chose, that was for his conscience. Kei had come to him of his own free will and would stay of his own free will—if Arman tried to be possessive, he would drive him away. He was sure Kei would do his utmost never to hurt Reji or him.

For his own part, Arman decided to treat Reji with all the honour he deserved because of his kindness to and love for Kei, and with the politeness which he hoped might begin to convince the man that not all Prij regarded the Darshianese as scum. Now he’d stopped shouting, and had a few minutes to calm down, Reji was showing the side of him which had clearly won Kei’s affection, and that of Myka. Arman explained as they ate what the plans to this point were, and Reji grasped the issues quickly. Not a stupid man then, which was a relief.

“If they let the hostages go, how have they decided to take them home?” Reji asked. “Will they be up to a long journey by foot?”

“Assume not,” Kei answered. “Even if they’ve not been mistreated, they won’t have been allowed to get out or stay fit at all.”

“I had a report before I left that at least one woman was pregnant,” Arman said. Kei looked at him in shock. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d want to know that, given...you know....”

“So others may also be. Poor girls,” Reji said.

“Will her clan accept her?” Arman asked. Both Darshianese men looked at him in puzzlement. “I only ask because a raped woman in our smaller villages would probably be driven out. The child would be exposed to the mercy of the gods at the very least.”

“That’s
awful
!” Kei said, his eyes wide with shock. “What fault is it of the woman or the child?”

“She’ll be taken back and treated kindly— at least she would be in Ai-Albon and in Ai-Darbin,” Reji said firmly. “And if she can’t bear the idea of the child, a relative would gladly take it in. Which village is she from?”

“I don’t recall, I’m sorry. But coming back to my point, someone in that condition would never cross Tirko Pass, and we don’t know when or if Kurlik Pass will be reopened. Reji, you and Kei should put your heads together on this and decide the most humane way of getting people home quickly. I want you both to come with me this morning when I’ll have a chance to reunite Kei with his dear friend again.”

Kei poked his foot under the table. “You’re enjoying the prospect too much, Arman. I suspect you of base motives.”

“Now how can I have chosen the captain to annoy you when I didn’t know you were coming with us until last night? Be reasonable. Besides, he asked after you most devotedly.” He couldn’t help a smile at Kei’s dark scowl. “He’ll be on our ship, of course. I want to make sure you’re well looked after.”

The poke became a decided kick, and even Reji grinned. “You do take some looking after, Keichichi,” he said. Arman hadn’t heard this nickname before—was it just used between them as lovers? He stamped down the little jealous feelings that arose at the idea.

“I can look after
myself
, “ Kei said, glaring at them both. “Anyone who thinks differently better watch what ends up in his loincloth on this journey.”

Reji looked at Arman. “I think I should warn you, our healer has a vicious streak.”

“Oh? He always seems so meek and well-mannered. I put down all those stories Myka was telling me to sibling rivalry.”

“You were talking to Myka?”

“A little, yes. A charming girl. I hadn’t realised what a burden she suffered under, having Kei as her brother.”

Kei stood up. “Are you two done yet?” he said crossly. “I wasn’t invited to eat with you so you could pick on me.”

Reji tugged on his shirt. “Oh, calm down, little brother. It’s just harmless fun. I’m sure the general has ways of dealing with you that I wouldn’t dare employ.” He succeeded in making Kei sit again, but only so Kei could tug his hair—and not gently. “You’re definitely getting to be like Myka. Stop that, you brat.”

“Enough, you two,” Arman said peaceably. “I want to introduce you to Lord Meki. Are you presentable?” There was a quick wiping of hands and surreptitious straightening of shirts and braids, before Kei nodded. Arman collected his stick and got up, Kei coming to his side and looking worried at the way he limped. “I’m all right. It’s just stiff in the morning, and I didn’t have the massage last night.”

“I’ll give you one as soon as we return, “ Kei said quietly. “You have to make time for that, Arman.”

“Forgive me—I was distracted,” Arman said with a wry twist to his mouth, and Kei smiled a little. “Let’s go. Reji, remember what I said, and if he vetoes the idea, then that’s it.”

Reji only nodded, to Arman’s relief. He honestly didn’t know what Lord Meki would say. It really was most irregular, and Arman couldn’t really summon much enthusiasm, regardless of the practical benefits. Every time he thought of Kei lying dead like Loke, his heart literally stuttered in his chest with fear. They hoped this would all go smoothly, but as Reis had discovered, there were no guarantees in any of this.