Kei's Gift (90 page)

His lordship was at his breakfast, but greeted Arman and the others politely. “Good morning, general. And you’re Kei, I recall?”

“Yes, my lord. Please let me apologise for my behaviour earlier.” Kei really looked ashamed—Arman resisted putting a comforting hand on his arm. That would just make it worse.

“Nonsense, lad, you were clearly ill, and that bump on your head would cause anyone to be addled. And you are?” Lord Meki said, looking at Reji.

“Reji of Ai-Albon, my lord. Trader and friend of Kei.”

“Ah, yes, the one we were looking for when he turned up. General, have you brought these young people to meet me for a reason?”

“Yes, my lord. Kei has offered to be our medical advisor and to take charge of the hostage’s welfare, while Reji is experienced in the management of urs beasts. I’d also like them to plan how we will get the hostages back home in the shortest time, given the distances and that some of them may not be completely well or fit.”

Lord Meki stood, frowning. “Two civilians, general? We have other healers we could call on.”

“Yes, my lord. Kei’s offer seemed excellent. I saw no harm in putting it to you.” He was hoping Lord Meki would refuse, but he was also worried what that would do to Kei. All Arman could do was be scrupulously fair and let the matter be taken out of his hands, since he was not unbiased.

Lord Meki came over to look at Kei. “Young man, are you going to be fit? This isn’t going to be a stroll on the beach, you know.”

“Yes, I know, my lord. I’ll be fit—the concussion will linger for a few days, but I’ll be completely recovered by the time we are within reach of Utuk.”

“Hmmm. And the other problem? The one for which you sought help from our academy masters?”

“I’ve received their advice and after some thought, have been able to act on it,” Kei said in a neutral tone—and then ruined it by giving Arman an unmistakeably intimate smile. From his expression, Lord Meki hadn’t missed its meaning. “This is one of the reasons I wish to be part of the expedition, my lord.”

“Is that so? We’re not in the business of assisting romances, Kei. Aren’t you being rather frivolous?”

Lord Meki’s sharp eyes looked penetratingly at Arman’s lover, but Kei gave no ground. “I don’t believe so, my lord. I’ve travelled many weeks with the general to bring him here to help, and I believe I had some small part in helping him understand how wrong the hostage taking was. More than that—I have close relatives and friends among the hostages, and so I’ve a much more personal stake than anyone in this room in seeing them home. I’m also very good at what I do. If I thought I’d be inadequate, my lord, I wouldn’t have put myself forward for this task, though I’d have begged to be allowed to travel with the general as a passenger.”

Lord Meki glanced at Arman. “Speaks well for himself, doesn’t he?”

“Yes, my lord, but with good cause. I wouldn’t have put his name forward either if I thought his skills were inadequate, though I do so with a heavy heart because of the danger. However, Kei’s aware of that, and has made his choice.”

“And you, Reji—your motives?”

Reji straightened up and spoke clearly. “Like Kei, I wish our people to come back and wish to help. I also have a personal interest in keeping both the general and Kei safe.”

Lord Meki shook his head. “Most irregular. What if you’re distracted at a crucial moment?”

This was Arman’s own fear, and after what had happened to Loke, he couldn’t take Kei’s safety for granted. “My lord, we’ll have many people on this expedition, including yourself, whose deaths would be a grievous loss. Kei is not the only person whose welfare I’ll be concerned about.”

Lord Meki heard his words in silence, and continued to stare at Kei as if trying to see his soul. Finally he sighed. “Kei, Reji, I know you’re sincere. But we’ll have nearly a thousand sailors and soldiers with us, as well as the hostages when they’re released. I hesitate to mention such a thing to you, Kei, because I know you’ve already suffered a great deal for your clan and our people. But that suffering, our efforts and the lives of all these people could be all for naught if either of you behave in an indulgent manner—or if you place your personal desires above the needs of the mission. I want your solemn oaths that you’ll do nothing whatsoever to distract any member of the team, regardless of the situation. If you can’t so swear, then I can’t let you go. If you do go and you fail to keep your oaths, you will spend the rest of the journey in the brig.”

Kei had turned pale, but he still shook his head. “I swear, my lord, on my honour and my clan’s name.”

Reji affirmed without hesitation, “And I also swear on my honour and the name of my clan, my lord.”

“Very well. I still reserve the right to order you to stay behind if the plans demand it, but for now, I’ll accept the general’s assessment of your usefulness. If you two would excuse me, I would like a word with him.”

Arman smiled reassuringly at his lover. “Kei, if you and Reji wait in our room, I’ll come to you there and we can go to the barracks.”

Reji took Kei’s arm. “Come on, Kei, we’ve wasted enough of his lordship’s time.”

Lord Meki gave them a polite, thin-lipped smile. “No waste of my time, young man, but there’s much to do. I will doubtless speak to you again. Good day.”

He waited until the door closed behind them before he turned to Arman. “Explain, general. I can tell you’re no more comfortable with this than I am.”

Arman asked if he could sit—his leg really ached this morning. “Kei’s problem—and the solution—requires my physical presence. The alternative is complete isolation from other people. I also happen to love him, and happily, he’s realised he loves me. However, he simply won’t countenance the idea of being apart if that means I might be killed in his absence. I didn’t have another solution, and he is actually as good as he claims to be.”

“And if you’re killed? What will happen to him?”

Arman tried to reply calmly even though this was his biggest concern—what would happen to Kei if he were lost. “I don’t know, my lord. I’ve been trying to help Kei recover for months, but the moment we’re forced apart, he begins to deteriorate. He’s simply not far enough along the path of healing to tolerate it. If he were forced to remain behind, he probably would have to go into isolation until I returned. If I died during that time...he would have to remain thus isolated.”

“A cruel fate indeed for such a young, and apparently able man.” Lord Meki sat down, and suddenly looked rather haggard. “Forgive me, general, for I find it hard to be objective on this subject myself. I lost my wife a year ago, almost exactly to the day—she had a wasting disease which no healer could cure, and died after a long period of severe pain. I felt I died myself that day. Since then, my life has been my work.”

Arman nodded sympathetically as he continued. “Sometimes, when I see young people in love, walking hand in hand, I want to say to them, beware, look at the pain that comes when you love them and they die. That’s when I’m feeling very low, you understand,” he said, baring his teeth without much humour in the smile. “Other times, I think, I had thirty-two wonderful years with a woman I adored, and I wouldn’t have missed that even to have spared myself this pain now. I suppose I’m saying...I understand how you want to be together and I know why he would fear losing you, even without this other thing which I don’t really understand. But part of me wants to tell you that you’re setting yourself up for grief. That’s an old, tired man talking, though.”

“I’m sorry,” Arman said, and meant it. “I don’t want to miss any time with Kei because of a fear of losing him, and if he wants to be with me enough that he is prepared to accept any risk, even that of losing me, then how can I say no?”

“You can’t,” Lord Meki said sadly. “You’re a lucky man, general. He’s clever and he’s passionate and he’s brave. We could do with more like him in our country. We could use someone like that here in Darshek, but I suppose he only wants to go home.”

“For now, yes, he does. I know I’m lucky, and I don’t deserve such fortune.”

“We rarely do, general.” He seemed to close in again, hiding the brief glimpse of his personal feelings. “Fine, it’s done and I think you all know what’s at risk. Our sailors have begun taking over the Prijian ships and they’ve started loading them with supplies. Tonight, you’ll meet with the mind-speakers who are coming with us to discuss the strategy. Let me have the plan Reji and Kei are making for the hostage return by then, so I’ll know if we need to bring extra equipment.” He drummed his fingers on the desk. “So much depends on whether we can use Kurlik Pass or not. We can get people across it whether or not it’s open but I don’t want to fight our way to it to use it.”

“And can you close it again if you need to?”

“Certainly we can—and Tirko Pass or any other your people choose to come through. We won’t be caught a third time. If this fails, Kuprij will find itself locked down tight. The Andonese won’t tolerate further aggression, and I have to say, neither will the Darshianese.” He gave Arman a hard look. “And at that point, you’ll need to decide which side of the border you want to be on, for good.”

“I’ve already decided, my lord. My place is with Kei, and Kei wishes to go home.”

“You’d actually bury yourself in a tiny place like Ai-Albon? Nonsense.”

“Why not? What’s the alternative, my lord?”

“Whatever you want, general. You have the freedoms of any Darshianese citizen. Make of it what you want. The Rulers and the country can provide a small income, but a young, able man—”

“With the wrong coloured hair and skin, being known as the butcher of Ai-Darbin? I think not, my lord. If Kei’s people will tolerate me, that’s more than enough,” Arman said, not wanting to discuss this further. It was, after all, his personal business.

“If you say so, but we’ll speak of this again, mark my words.” Arman bowed his head in agreement. “Very well. I’ll meet with you this evening, and don’t forget that report.”

“No, my lord. Good day to you.”

~~~~~~~~

“What’s wrong, Keichichi?”

Kei sat down in a chair and looked up at Reji. “Oh...just realising how real this is, how dangerous it is. I’d be happier if you stayed behind. There’s no point the village losing both of us.”

Reji came over to him and crouched down. “You don’t really expect me to agree to that, do you?”

“No,” Kei said, grinning sadly at Reji’s wry expression. “You didn’t expect me not to say it either.”

“No.” He stood and pulled a chair over. “He really cares for you, I’ll give you that. Bastard,” he added without heat.

“Don’t start, Reji. If Kurlik Pass isn’t going to be opened, then I think we’ll have to take everyone back via Darshek. The sick, injured or pregnant, if they can travel at all, we should take first and let them rest at each village. There’s a cart design....”

He spent the next few minutes absorbed in the plans with Reji and hardly noticed when the door opened. It was only when Arman touched his cheek that he looked up and smiled—he hadn’t thought Arman would be demonstrative in public, so it was lovely to be claimed. “We’re working,” he said gravely.

“Yes, I can see. Colonel Jiv is expecting me, though. Shall we go?”

Arman took them out to the front hall. Kei wanted to hide from the fearsome reception clerk—he really shouldn’t have said what he had, head wound or no—but Arman took him by the hand and led him up to the front desk. “Elsi, order the carriage for us, would you?” he asked in a drawling, arrogant tone Kei hadn’t heard in months.

“Yes, general.”

“And I believe you’ve met Kei. Kei will be staying in my rooms with me and will be working closely with us on this project. I trust that meets with your approval.”

She flushed. “Yes, general, of course.”

“Thank you. The carriage is urgent, Elsi.”

“Yes, general,” she said, scurrying off to send the message.

Arman limped over to a chair and made Kei sit down too. He motioned Reji to join them. “What in hells was that about?” Reji whispered to Kei.

Kei leaned over. “Arman doesn’t like rude servants—or uppity ones,” he said with a grin.

“Or uppity lovers,” Arman said severely, but he still held Kei’s hand tenderly. Kei noticed he held his walking stick rather oddly, so that his fingers could caress the underside of the knot that formed the handle. Arman saw him looking and gave him a curious smile. Kei suddenly realised Arman had discovered the meaning of the carvings he’d made on the handle—carvings he’d made almost in desperation, never expecting to have to explain them to Arman, or why he’d carved them, for at the time, he hardly knew himself. From the way Arman was touching them, he not only had had them translated, but was pleased with the meaning—or one of them.

If Arman didn’t want to be dragged into a side room and kissed breathless, he really should stop looking at Kei like that.

He made himself look away instead, and sat up straight, trying not to seem like a man surrounded by lovers, one of whom radiated desire and love like a beacon, and who had just made a very public declaration that he, Kei, was his and was sleeping with him. Kei would never have expected a Prijian general to go so far. But then he would never have expected to love a Prijian general more than life itself.

Arman kept hold of Kei’s hand all the way into the carriage, and still held it as he asked them for their plans, saying Lord Meki wanted them by that evening. “Why the rush, general?”