Kelly Hill (22 page)

Phillips Academy

Charleston, West Virginia

June 15th, 2010

Rachel

Rachel couldn’t remember walking back to the hotel, but it didn’t matter. She knew she had gotten there under her own power and at an ungodly hour. Her head pounded from the lack of sleep and her eyes felt swollen, if she didn’t know any better she’d think she was hung over.

She had left Phillips trying to protect Kelly and now Kelly was here, trying to protect her.

They weren’t friends. They had never been friends. Life did not create them to be friends. They were something else. Comrades.

The word came so easily to her tongue Rachel tried it out in the three other languages she spoke fluently.

Compagno.

Compagnon d'armes.

Tovarishch.

Rachel could almost laugh at that. It was so silly now. She had spent so much time learning Italian and French together because the languages were similar to one another that when it came time to learn proper Spanish like she wanted, she changed her mind and moved over to learn Russian. Because she wanted a challenge.

Now, Rachel knew, she had found one.

Naive.

Naivnyy.

Traitor.

Predatel’.

She started the water for her shower and picked out her outfit for the day. If she was going to meet Grear for the first time in two years, she wanted to look like she was put together at least.

Rachel went over a mental list of all the things that Grear would want to get caught back up on and wasn’t surprised to see the pattern of how her education went outside of Phillips.

She would want to know if Rachel had picked out a college. Rachel wasn’t sure whether to lie or to tell her the truth. Did she want to placate Grear or did she want to hurt her?

Rachel’s bitterness had shadowed their previous conversation, the last meaningful conversation they had ever had and now she didn’t know if she wanted to let it continue on in its destructive path or if she wanted Grear to know that everything was going to be just fine.

The truth was–the short truth, not the full truth- nothing was ever going to be fine again.

Rachel knew that her leaving Phillips was just biding time. She knew it would never be as simple as just moving a few states away but she had hoped things would turn out different in the end.

Hope.

Nadezhda.

An hour later Rachel was exiting her hotel room, waiting for the other three, wishing she never had to do this at all.

Logan and Ethan were the first to join her in the hall. Logan made a joke about Kelly trying to make himself look pretty and Ethan laughed awkwardly. Forced. A hollow laugh that made Rachel feel even more guilty. He didn’t have to do this. He didn’t have to let her drag him down with her. But she had never been able to talk any sense into him, so why should now be any different?

“
I think he’s trying to impress a girl.” Logan winked at Rachel and she stared at him. Did Logan really not understand by now? Or was he just trying to ease the tension of the group?

“
I told him that he didn’t have to wear makeup for me.” Ethan joked back, “I don’t know why he insists.”

“
Well, maybe if you took me somewhere nice for once things would be different.” Kelly emerged from his hotel room, closing the door behind him. He was smiling more this morning than he had been last night and Rachel wondered why. There was no reason to smile. For all she was concerned, they were marching to their deaths.

Fate.

Sud'ba.

“
Baby, I’ll take you wherever you want to go.” Ethan laughed. “All you gotta do is say the word.”

“
I bet you say that to all the pretty girls.” Kelly was laughing, not even bothering to look at Rachel. But that was alright. Let him have his day without the heavy guilt of knowledge weighing on his shoulders. She wouldn’t force his attention back on the problem at hand. She would never do that to Kelly. Not again.

“
Just the ones I like.” Ethan winked at him and they started walking towards the elevator.

Their goal was an unspoken one. Everyone knew they were headed to Phillips, but no one wanted to bring it up. No one wanted to let the others know how they felt about it. Everyone thought it was a bad idea. So why were they all here?

Kelly, she could understand Kelly being here, but not Ethan, and definitely not Logan. Maybe this was what friends were supposed to be like. There till the very end. No matter how close that seemed.

They exited the elevator into the lobby and all three looked at Rachel.

“Where to, Rachel?” Ethan asked innocently enough. But Rachel felt the words echo in her soul. Where to, indeed?

She swallowed and looked at Kelly, wishing that he could just save her already. That he could just take it all away and everything could go back to the way it was two years ago. But no one could save Rachel. She had done this to herself.

Consequences.

“
Posledstviya.”
Rachel whispered and she saw Kelly frown. Everything sounded better in a foreign language. It tasted different, felt different, and was more final. But using Russian in front of Kelly was never a good idea, but then again, neither was any of this. Might as well just let it all out now.

Rachel cleared her throat and tried again, “I guess I could show you around Phillips before the meeting with Grear at two.”

Ethan shrugged, “If that’s what you want to do.”

That was the last thing Rachel wanted to do. But maybe it would make her feel more centered, like she wasn’t completely alone in this.

She had tried to protect Kelly and now she was thinking in Russian. What did that say about her brain?

It said she was one misfortune waiting to happen. That’s what it said.

Misfortune.

Neschast'ye.

Rachel smiled at her brother, “Yeah, and then we can get lunch on campus and everything.”

Ethan smiled back and they were all on the same page again, the page of not talking.

Silence.

Molchaniye.

The hotel was close to Phillips; it was built with the sole purpose of allowing families to visit their children attending the prestigious school and so walking over was simple.

In the light of day Phillips looked so much more different than it did the night before.

The sun filtered in through the trees and the well groomed lawn looked welcoming.

Rachel spotted the admissions and the library right away. Her old building was just off a ways, out of sight and Rachel knew that if she kept walking in that direction she would reach its doors in less than seventeen minutes.

They made their way to the center of the quad, towards the marble benches that Rachel knew all too well and she was interested to see if anyone was using her bench, the bench she had sat on the night before for hours, just thinking. Going over all the information that she had and all the secrets that she was trying to keep.

There were more people roaming about than was normal for a June morning but Rachel knew most of them just wanted to get a look at the roped off lacrosse field. No one was there for her.

As Rachel scanned the quad for anyone she might know her eyes caught sight of an envelope sitting on her bench.

Slowly she walked over, forgetting the others behind her and swallowed as shaking hands picked it up.

There was no name on the outside, nothing to mark it to its owner, but Rachel knew why it was there. She peeled open the envelope and removed the small piece of paper from inside. In script she knew all too well she read.

“
Welcome back, Rachel, tell Kelly I said hi.”

Rachel fought the urge to look around and see his hawk face staring back at her. She stilled her frantic heart beats and tried to concentrate on her shaking hands. The less fear she showed, the better. To Jefferson this was a chess game.

“What is it, Rachel?” Ethan asked as the group finally caught up to her.

Rachel shook her head and smiled, putting the note in her purse next to the other one. “Just some trash, I’ll find a recycle bin for it.”

She purposefully avoided Kelly’s eyes as she addressed the three boys, “Well, what do you want to see first?”

“
Well, I’ll be damned, Rachel Gunn and Kelly Hill. Who would have thought we’d you see you two together.” Ryan announced his presence, striding down the sidewalk as if out of dream.

He hadn’t changed in the two years that Rachel had seen him. He was still the same. Same shaggy blond hair and sweet dimples that could make a girl melt.

“Ryan Prescott.” She smiled, putting her hands in the pockets of her green coat, she didn’t hold too much ill will towards Ryan, but that didn’t mean that she wanted to touch him.

Rachel felt the boys flanking her on either side, forming a defensive line. She wanted to laugh, what a ridiculous action. She didn’t need protecting from Ryan Prescott.

“I thought you were back in Hartford?” Ryan cleared his throat, looking at Kelly.

Kelly shrugged, “I was, and then I was in Agoura. Now I’m here.”

“How does your P.O. feel about that?” Ryan asked, his tone was civil, but his words hung in the air like poison.

Rachel felt Kelly tense next to her but he managed a tight lipped smile, “We have an understanding.”

Ryan chuckled, “Alright, whatever you say, man.” He looked at Rachel, “Later on do you want to grab a bite to eat or something? We could catch up.”

“
Maybe.” Rachel glossed over the fact that Ryan had just dropped a bomb of information on them, planning on addressing it later.

“
Cool.” Ryan flashed her one of his special smiles that used to make her weak in the knees and started walking towards the admissions office. “I’ll get a hold of you later.”

“
See ya around.” Logan called after him, trying to sound intimidating.

When Ryan was out of earshot the boys collected around her like a gaggle of geese.

“Who was that?” Logan asked, sounding more curious than alarmed.

“
Ryan Prescott.” Rachel answered, giving no more information.

“
Kelly’s cousin.” Ethan clarified.

“
Yes.” Rachel nodded.

“
Your ex-boyfriend.” Kelly added.

Rachel looked at Kelly. “I guess.”

“Is he a good guy or a bad guy?” Logan was trying to make this into an action movie.

“
He’s just Ryan.” Rachel replied, “He’s not anything.”

“
Right.” Logan nodded like the two of them were sharing a secret.

“
Let’s go to the Lacrosse field.” Ethan changed the subject, “I’m curious to see how many people are there.”

Rachel was glad to get the attention off of herself and her relationship with Ryan but she did not want to go to the lacrosse field. But she didn’t say anything and they slowly made their way over to the last place anyone had ever seen Melody.

As they approached Rachel felt her chest tighten and her mouth go dry. Standing as close to the police tape as he could stood Jefferson Williams, hands in the pockets of his coat, back to them.

Rachel knew she was shaking. She felt it completely, like her entire body was vibrating from fear.

Dread.

Strakh.
 

Chapter Eighteen

Phillips Academy

Charleston, West Virginia

October 22nd, 2008

Rachel

At the western edge of Phillips’ campus there sat a rather large building. Built with a strong red brick it had withstood the test of time. Ivy mercilessly climbed its sides and covered its windows, but it remained. It had been neglected in the remodel of Phillips fifteen years ago and now it sat, a large derelict of times long past, an old forgotten sports club only used for storage.

Connected to the sports club was a patio meant for lounging, following that path were steep stairs that lead to a decent sized track, its grass well kept by the lawn service Phillips’ employed.

This was where Rachel stood now, trying not to look at her phone. Trying not to look anxious.

Jefferson had asked Rachel to meet him here at half past four, had sent her a quick halfhearted text and then no follow up later on when she asked if anyone else was going to be there. A part of her knew that what she was doing was a bad idea, and it was a rather large part at that, but she couldn’t help herself. They were friends weren’t they? Isn’t this what friends did? They would fight but then everything would be fine later on.

Besides, Rachel tried to reason away her well-placed fear. It wasn’t like there was any lasting damage. No one had even really cared.

Rachel swallowed and shifted on nervous feet, even with all of her naive logic she couldn’t help but notice the deserted track laid out before her, just twenty feet down steep cement steps.

She nudged a rock off the edge and watched it go tumbling to the ground, just a few steps away from the very bottom.

Plenty of people had complained about the steps as of late. They were cracked and the corners were crumbling, some said that the steps themselves were too steep and most just avoided the old track, preferring the indoor track that was suspended above the basketball court.

The autumn wind that promised an early winter chilled her to the core, but it wasn’t nearly as harsh as the chill that gripped her spine when she heard Jefferson call out her name.

She turned to see him coming towards her, one hand in the pocket of his pressed dress pants, the other holding onto his glass award that he received last year as the lacrosse team’s MVP.

“
You wanted to talk?” She licked her lips hoping he had had a chance to cool down from earlier that week.

Rachel had never gotten around to reporting the threat like she had told Elizabeth that she would, and now, looking at the grim face of Jefferson Williams, she couldn’t help but think that she might have made the wrong choice.

“You know, they’re not going to let me play lacrosse next semester.” Jefferson said with a shrug, “I guess they thought that was fair.”

Rachel felt a stab of guilt for her friend but wanted to stand her moral ground still. She may have made a poor decision in reporting him, but she had been right when she turned Jefferson in for cheating. For letting practically half the graduating class to cheat.

“Well, you know they’re just trying to send a message.” Rachel managed to get out before another gust of cold wind stole her breath.

Jefferson looked down at the trophy, his eyes a dark slate of nothingness. He looked thinner than she thought he should, his hawk like features were more pronounced in the dimming light, creating hollow contours on either side of
 his face.

A smile peeled his thin lips back and he looked at Rachel. No, it wasn’t a smile, it was more like sneer. A cynical, sarcastic sneer. “I should send a message too.”

Strong hands reached out and gripped the collar of Rachel’s green cardigan and Jefferson wrenched Rachel three steps closer to him, just so that she could feel his breath skitter across her skin in ragged, uneven gasps.

“
I mean, it’s really only fair, isn’t it?” He had gone from placid to terrifying in an instant and Rachel wondered why she had ever thought she could trust Jefferson in the first place. There was something clearly wrong with him.

Kelly was right when he told her to stay away.

The madness curled his lips and transformed his features; he was more hawk than human now.

“
Jefferson let go of me!” Rachel shouted, her tone still holding an air of warning in it, she still thought that she could walk away from this like it wasn’t going to affect her in any way.

“
Why?” Jefferson’s eyes were wide now, the fire in them set ablaze by her simple, heartfelt plea. “I mean, so what? You can just go and tell Grear again? Isn’t that what you want to do?”

The fear had cooled into a ball of icy terror, and it crystallized in her veins, sending shocks throughout her body. But she knew she’d never be able to leave if Jefferson didn’t let her go. He had to let her go.

“I won’t tell anyone, Jeff.” She half whispered, “We can forget about this and move on.”

Jefferson’s teeth ground together in his mouth and his sneer turned into a scowl. “You see this?” He was holding up his glass award now. “Look at it!” He shouted, drops of his saliva peppering Rachel’s face.

Rachel did as she was told and really looked at it. His name was etched in the glass. So were the season’s year and the team name. Phillips’ school insignia was frosted on the middle of it and Rachel saw now why Jefferson was carrying it with him. It was all he had left.

They had taken lacrosse from him as a punishment and he didn’t like it. So he had to blame someone. His anger had to fit somewhere.

Rachel swallowed, “Let’s go home, Jeff.” She was shaking now, completely free of her own will, she felt her body trembling with its fear of Jefferson Williams. “Let go of me and we can go home.”

Jefferson's eyes surveyed Rachel for a second as if he was considering the idea, as if it could really be just that easy.

“That’s not how life works, Rachel.” Jefferson looked down at the trophy in his hand and then in one fluid motion he flung it down the stairs.

Rachel didn’t dare look away from Jefferson, but a part of her cringed when she heard it shatter on the cement below.

“Once you lose something, it's gone. Get me?” Jefferson’s voice was lower now, the madness draining from it, as if he had finally made up his mind.

“
It’s gonna be okay, Jeff, there’ll be more awards, more lacrosse games…” Her voice trailed off as Jefferson started to chuckle.

“
You still don’t get it!” He was shouting again, shouting as if that was really going to get his point across. “This is it, Rachel! This is all I have time for!”

“
Time?” Rachel felt confusion clouding her judgment.

“
Well.” Jefferson croaked out of a dry throat that was torn from his shouting, “And this.”

The hand that had held her so fast before was now pushing her away, propelling her into the unknown.

The fall hurt more than Rachel would ever admit to anyone. The cement scraped her white skin and left rash-like marks on her flesh, something cracked on her left side and Rachel couldn’t stop the fall.

At the last moment, instinctively Rachel was able to put a palm out and catch herself before her head struck the bottom, but that saving grace was of no use when it came to the cool feeling of glass slipping up under her ribcage.

A visual of the award flashed before her eyes and Rachel let out a cry that sounded more like a whimper, cold and distant.

Rachel closed her eyes, but not from the haze that had seemed to overcome her, she did it only to gather more strength, only to grab a handful of dirt in her pale white hand.

She felt the earth make its way under her fingernails she imagined that she’d have quite the ruined manicure later on. This thought would have brought on a fit of laughter if the blood pooling under her stomach wasn’t so damn sobering.

With all the will she had left in her body Rachel managed to roll over, eliciting another cry. Another thing to let her know that her body was failing her.

She thought of all the different ways she could make her way back up the stairs, back to civilization, back to someone who gave a damn about her, but she couldn’t really think past the pain.

No one would really be looking for her anyways. Phillips was her home, but her family was very far away. They probably wouldn’t even know for the next couple of days.

“Are you alright?” Someone was running towards her now, and Rachel turned her head to look in their direction, hoping they wouldn’t think she had done this to herself. Hoping they wouldn’t think she was clumsy enough to do something so dumb.

“
Hey!” They were shouting again, this time at something else. Someone else? The voice had changed from concern to accusation in the span of a second and Rachel wondered if Jefferson was still up there, looking down at her.

Rachel swallowed and tried to concentrate on the figure running towards her, but it was just a wasted effort.

Her vision swam and her mind filled with thoughts of the days that had passed by without her saying so much as a word to anyone about what kind of man he could turn into.

They had all told her to do something about it. Everyone. So then, why was Rachel lying there at the foot of the stairs leading to the old track field, a chunk of a glass lacrosse trophy splitting open her insides? If everyone had already known this, why was she even here at all?

The person reached her and kneeled, their hands lingering over her broken body, as if trying to assess the situation.

Rachel saw that blood was soaking into the fabric of his jeans. Was that her blood?

“It’s gonna be alright, Rachel.” He whispered as strong arms, tender arms, lifted her up and held her close to his chest, “Everything’s gonna be okay now.”

Rachel felt her eyes closing but she willed them open long enough to see her savior. Long enough to get a good look at the clean shaven face of a one Kelly Hill.

He looked so young when he was worried, she could almost laugh at him. Didn’t he know that everything was going to be just fine?

Rachel felt her eyes close as her cheek fell against Kelly’s chest, whatever was going to happen next was going to happen and there was nothing she could do to stop it. But right then and there, she felt fine.