Kelly's Quest (NYC LOVE Book 2) (26 page)

I prop myself on my elbows and grab my phone from the nightstand to see it’s after ten. Even though I was exhausted after calming Erik down, I still can’t believe I slept so late. There’s a string of missed calls and texts from Theo. He had asked the night before if I wanted to join him for a run in Central Park, and I know he’s usually finished by nine.

“Shit,” I mutter to myself. Then I call out, “Yeah?”

The door opens. Avery stands in the doorway with wide eyes.

Theo, dressed in cold-weather running gear, stands at her side.

Fuck
.

Theo’s thick eyebrows draw down as his eyes dart between me and Erik. I can’t muster the words to explain what happened. I’m so astounded with the sight of Theo standing in my apartment, catching me in such a compromising position that I can only sputter fragmented sentences. “It’s not...this wasn’t...not what it looks like.”

Erik stirs at my side, running his hand over my stomach. I try to wrestle his arm away, which wakes him. His eyes fall on mine, filled with all the emotions of someone who wanted to kill themselves and now regrets it. Even though Avery and Theo can’t possible understand what it’s about, I’m sure to them, it’s an extremely intimate look.

Double fuck
.

I look up in time to see Theo throw me one last glare of the upmost disappointment before storming away. My heart plunges with his disgust.

“Wait!” I cry, jumping from the bed and racing past Avery. “Theo, it’s not what you think! Please don’t go!
I love you
!”

Theo stops in the doorway, his back to me. “I was in love with you, too, Cavenaugh.”

He slips out of the apartment without looking back.

Together Adam and I are
able to convince Erik to check himself in to treat his drug addiction and fragile mental health. Adam calls their parents, who are quick to buy tickets for the first flight out to visit their troubled son. It’s late afternoon before Erik is situated in the treatment facility and I’m free to absorb my own complications.

I sit in a ball of misery on Jewels’s couch, my arms wrapped around my legs. Silent tears disappear into my hair. Theo won’t respond to any of the dozens of texts I’ve sent, trying to explain what happened and saying I love him too much to hurt him that way.

Of all the things I’ve fucked up in my life, this was by far the most damaging to my spirit. I’ll never be able to erase the hurt look Theo shot me before walking away or the way he said he “was” in love with me. It overpowers all his beaming smiles and the lust-fueled moments we shared. I can’t even blame him, considering what he thought he walked in on.

Jewels sits by my side, rubbing my back and shooting Adam weary glances every so often. “What can we do, Kel? It kills me to see you like this.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I whisper. “It’s over.”

“Finally!” Adam cheers excitedly, looking down at his phone. “He answered me. He’s saying he doesn’t want to talk, but I’m going over there anyway.” He grabs his coat and bends to kiss Jewels on the forehead. He glances at me. “Don’t worry, I’ll fix this.”

I shake my head. “He thinks I lied to him. He’ll never forgive me.”

“I’ll make
him understand what happened. This is my fault. If I had listened to Erik, maybe invited him in, he wouldn’t have gotten loaded and come looking for you. I promise you, Kel, I’ll make this right.”

He’s gone mere minutes before Chloe appears. My two best friends pop in a horror movie to get my mind off the fact that Adam’s the only hope I may have to reclaim the heart of the first man I’ve ever loved. I curl up into Jewels’s side, eventually falling asleep.

As the movie credits roll, Adam returns with very little to report. Although he was able to get Theo to listen, there was very little emotion in response to my side of story. Theo thanked Adam and asked him to leave. It reminds me of the night I told Theo everything about my past: he took it all in with almost nothing to say before he confessed that he was angry with the man I slept with.

Chloe and Jewels eagerly try to convince me that I need a night out, but I refuse. All I want is to go back to my apartment and sleep.

In the days that follow
, snow begins to accumulate, and the winter chill Chloe warned us of sets in. It doesn’t really affect me as I spend most of my time either working or hiding out in my room. I don’t even care that I’m missing the Christmas lights throughout the city that I had been eagerly looking forward to.

I haven’t heard from Theo since the night he walked in on Erik in my bed—not a single text, tweet, or old-school phone call. I spend my free time scrolling through pictures of us together, and all the snapshots he sent me in the past weeks of himself. It’s the final twist of the knife piercing my heart. I was strong enough to stand on my own the first time he left me, but this time it’s different, because this time he took my heart with him.

Chloe, Mick, and Jewels make several attempts to pull me from my funk without success. My parents even offer to pay for a flight home so I can spend Christmas with the family, but the thought of faking a smile while surrounded by a room filled with happy people burns through my insides.

My heart has shriveled up into a black mass and died.

Before I know or care, December has arrived. My roommates set up a Christmas tree, and I’m forced to help decorate Flanagan’s with obnoxious red bows and clusters of ivy even though the Christmas spirit is dead to me.

Jewels and Chloe come stumbling into the bar one afternoon while I’m finishing up my early shift, patting the snow from their bodies with their mitten covered hands, and stomping their boots. I swear each of them looks like they’ve stepped from a fashion show the way all their winter gear matches and their hair is perfectly in place. I haven’t done more than brush my hair and throw it into a ponytail since I last saw Theo.

“Ohmigod, this is one crazy-ass blizzard!” Chloe declares, removing her hat from her head and shaking her hair. “I haven’t seen this much snow since three years ago when half the city was shut down for a week! You wait, there will be accidents like crazy starting today. You’d think people would learn to take it easy in the snow, but it’s like there’s some kind of challenge in seeing who can still get around in record time.”

“Hey, guys,” I greet them in a monotone voice.

Stella waves at them from my side behind the bar. “Hey, ladies.”

Chloe takes a sweeping glance of the near-empty bar. “Where’s Mick?”

“He took the day off,” Stella answers with a shrug.

“I suppose he’s entitled to one or two of those,” Chloe says.

When she miraculously doesn’t say anything more, I exchange a surprised glance with Jewels. Chloe and Mick have started texting each other, and I even saw them friend each other on Facebook. Otherwise, I don’t think either of them has made a move, although they both seemed pretty interested. Maybe if I wasn’t busy wallowing in my own sorrow, I’d do something to nudge them a step closer.

“We’ve come to take you out for the night,” Jewels tells me, setting her mittens on the bar between us.

“I told you—” I start to protest.

“Nuh uh!” Chloe scolds, clamping her hand over my mouth. “There won’t be any of that tonight! We’re not taking you to a club, we’re going to watch them light the tree in Central Park. All I’ve heard since we first met was how much you couldn’t wait to see the Christmas lights. While you’ve been hiding in your room—losing far too much weight, I might add, because you’re starting to look like a bean pole—they’ve been lighting this city up in the way you were looking forward to. This is one of those things you have to witness
once
in your life if you’re going to be a true New Yorker.”

Stella sets her hand on her hip. “I didn’t know there was a big ceremony for the tree in Central Park. When did they start doing that?”

“It’s not as big as the one in Rockefeller,” Chloe explains, flapping her hands as she speaks. “You probably haven’t heard of it because there aren’t that many people that go. It’s less of a tourist thing and more for locals from the area. You know, people who live near the park. You’d be surprised at the low turn out. At least it isn’t as chaotic. You can actually get up close and personal.”

“C’mon, Kel,” Jewels whines, taking my hands across the bar. “It’d be ridiculous for you to miss it, and it won’t be the same without my bestie at my side. It’s our first Christmas in the city together. We have to go.” She bats her thick lashes at me, looking as ridiculous as a great dane trying to mimic a newborn puppy.

Knowing Jewels won’t stop until I agree to go, I finally give in, complaining the entire way. My friends insist on primping me for our night out, probably because they’re tired of seeing me looking like a bum off the street. Admittedly, it makes me feel just a smidgen better to actually wear makeup and have my hair done up in loose curls by Chloe. I slip into one of my favorite old sweaters, pleased how the bright blue stands out against my dark hair and brown eyes. Once I’ve slipped into skinny jeans and my heaviest boots, I feel like a real human being again. Maybe even a tad womanly. I step outside into the snow-filled sky with my friends, surprised when they lead me to a dark town car at the curb.

Jewels shrugs, a bright grin stretched across her face. “Adam wanted to treat us since it’s your first night out in awhile.”

Though it was a sweet gesture on Adam’s part, memories of steamy nights with Theo in the back of town cars quickly douses the good mood I had almost achieved since my friends appeared. Thankfully, it’s a short ride to Central Park. The driver drops us off on a road inside the park. Lights shine in the distance over the rink packed full with skaters. I haven’t seen the skating rink yet, though Jewels has been trying to entice me to go with her either there or in Rockefeller. My eyes focus on a large tree next to the rink, strung with white lights.

“Looks like we missed it,” I tell the others, pointing to the area.

Jewels knocks my hand down, pulling me in the other direction. “Nope. Wrong tree.”

There aren’t too many other stragglers walking through the park this late at night. The three of us huddle together, warding off the cold wind and letting any muggers know we aren’t going down without a battle. My lashes are covered in snow by the time we ascend the stairs leading down to the fountain.

The lights are all out, leaving it dark, cold, and barren. Like my life has been.

“You guys definitely have the wrong place.” I turn to my friends, who have both suddenly fallen back. “Guys?”

They point at the same time to something behind me, grinning. I reel around as the entire fountain erupts in Christmas lights, some white and twinkling, some a combination of reds, greens, yellows and blues. The lights follow the wide mouth of the pool beneath the fountain and run all the way up the base of the statue, the angel on top glowing from them.

I’m so impressed by the beautiful display that I hardly notice Theo standing beside it.

NINETEEN

“Hole. E. Shit,” I mutter
under my breath. I swivel around to face Jewels and Chloe, finding them huddled together, giggling at their clever antics.

“We’ll just be....
gone
,” Jewels tells me, leading Chloe back to the stairway. “We expect a call tomorrow!”

Collecting myself, I turn back to find Theo striding toward me in quick, confident steps. My breath sticks in my chest the closer he becomes. The black knit beanie he wears covers his forehead, accentuating his dark eyebrows, and the wool, gray pea coat fits snug against his big muscles. I’ve never seen him look better.

Momentarily, I forget how to speak.

“Cavenaugh,” he greets me once the puffs of our breaths are commingling. “I didn’t think calling you on the phone would be enough.”

I stand with my hands pressed to my chest, still touched by the gesture, and his gloved hands hang lifeless at his sides. There’s an air of excitement passing between us, but it’s as if our bodies aren’t sure how to proceed. I press my lips together, letting myself fade into the glistening of his eyes.

He licks his lips and glances over my shoulder before meeting my gaze again. “Before we started dating, you told me you were screwed up. I told you I didn’t care. Then you told me what happened with that guy back in Wisconsin, and with Erik, and I acted like it rolled off my back. But it didn’t. I was filled with a blinding jealousy I’d never felt before. It killed me to know you had been with those guys. It ate me up inside that you had slept with
anyone
other than me. I knew it wasn’t realistic, but I couldn’t help it. The more time we spent together, the more I wished there was a way to go back and change your past, especially when I realized how much I was falling for you.

“I put all my trust in my last girlfriend, and she let me down. I know you’re not her, but the minute I saw that preppy fuck in your bed, it just reminded me of the night I found Brooklyn with her tongue down some exec’s throat. I became unhinged and didn’t even want to consider there’d be a reasonable explanation. All I knew is that I trusted you despite my reservations, and you let me down.”

“It wasn’t like that,” I say with a tear slipping down my cheek. “I swear.”

He presses a gloved finger to my lips. “Would you let me finish, Cavenaugh? I’m sorry it took me so long to cool off. I should’ve called you the next day. I meant to, then I kept putting it off until another day had passed. It wasn’t until Jewels and Adam came knocking on my door last night with a letter from Erik that I finally considered your side of things.”

Gasping, I pull his hand down. “Hold on. Erik wrote
you
a letter? What’d it say?”

“It wasn’t to me, it was to Adam. It was a long, handwritten apology for all he had done to his brother, and even the crude things he had said to Jewels. He also went into great detail on how he manipulated you while you lived together, even though he knew you were trying to keep things platonic and dealing with your own issues. He explained how you saved his life that night when he came to your door, loaded on booze and cocaine. I called in sick to the office today because I couldn’t deal with anyone. I’m pissed at myself for not listening to you earlier. I’m no better than your family and friends back home who believed an ugly lie without giving you a chance. I decided if I was going to give you my heart, I had to stop wrestling with demons from my past and stop comparing you to Brooklyn.” He removes his glove from one hand to rest his bare palm against my cheek. “I
love
you, Kelly Cavenaugh.”