Kendra (12 page)

All the way to school the next day, Adonna talks nonstop, trying to fill me in on every single thing that happened since Monday.
Everything
. And even though she’s talking my ear off, I’m glad because I don’t have to say anything. All I have to do is act like I’m listening.

Of course, I’m still feeling horrible, not just because I still have a little bit of the flu left but because of the way I went behind her back and did it with Nashawn. There’s no way to make myself feel better about that. And there never will be. It just wasn’t right

Darnell is standing right in front of the school when we get there, and I’m wondering if it’s just a coincidence that we’re both out there at the same time, or if he was actually waiting for me. Adonna nudges me with her hand and I walk over to him while she goes to stand with Malcolm and Craig and some girls I don’t really know.

“Hey, Kendra,” Darnell says, smiling but trying to be cool at the same time. “You feeling any better?”

“Yeah,” I say. “And I couldn’t take it laying in that bed for another day.”

“I know what that’s like,” he says, then stops talking and looks down. He sticks his hands in his pockets and he starts shifting his weight from one foot to the other. I have no idea why he’s so nervous all of a sudden.

Then, just to make things even worse, Craig calls out, “Darnell, go get her, man!”

And Malcolm jumps in with, “Yeah, you can do it, man!”

Both of them start laughing. Even Adonna and those girls are looking over at us, trying to hide the fact that they’re laughing, too.

I give Adonna a don’t-y’all-have-anything-better-to-do look. Then I turn to Darnell and say, “Let’s go.”

We walk up the steps in front of the school and into the building without saying anything. Then, as we walk down the hall, I say, “Don’t let those guys—”

“No, I’m not,” he says, opening the door to the staircase and holding it for me.

“Thanks,” I say and walk through. And yeah, I’m liking that he has manners and he’s treating me like a lady.

The stairs are empty, and as we’re walking up to the second floor, he says, “What I said last night on the phone—I want you to know I really meant it.”

I smile. “Yeah?”

We get to the top of the stairs and I kinda wait for him to open that door for me, too, but he don’t. Instead, he leans over real fast and gives me a kiss on the lips. And I’m kinda surprised because I wasn’t expecting it, so it takes me a second to kiss him
back, and by then it’s just about over. Then he looks me in the eye and says, “Yeah. I meant it.”

He opens the door and I walk through, still kinda stunned at what he did.

“See you later,” he tells me right there by the staircase, because his locker is in the other direction.

“Okay,” I say, still smiling. “Bye.”

I walk down the hall to my locker, thinking about that kiss and how different it was from those kisses Nashawn gave me, those ones that practically lasted forever. Kissing Darnell was nothing like that, but it was nice, too. Just in a different way.

“Okay, what do you wanna tell me?” Adonna asks, jumping the lunch line to get ahead of me.

I look behind me and see way too many kids around that could hear us.

“I can’t tell you
here
,” I whisper. “At least wait ’til we get to the table.”

But Adonna barely listens to me. She’s already looking around the cafeteria, searching for Nashawn, no doubt.

All morning I been dying to tell Adonna about Darnell kissing me. I passed her in the hall between second and third period and told her I had some news, and she said, “What? What?” And I could tell she thought I was gonna tell her something about
her
. Or Nashawn.

But the hallway was crowded and we only get three minutes to change classes, and I didn’t wanna just say “Darnell
kissed me” without giving her the whole story, so I said I’d tell her at lunch. But I didn’t mean now, in line.

When we get to the table with our food, I’m glad the guys aren’t there yet. Malcolm was behind us in line and Craig is in the corner talking to this girl Shana. Tanya’s the only one at the table, but she’s too busy taking a quiz in
Cosmo
, writing her answers on loose-leaf paper, to even care what we’re talking about.

Adonna opens her Snapple and leans across the table, closer to me. “So?”

“Okay,” I say. “Remember when me and Darnell left you guys this morning? Oh, yeah, why do your friends have to be so stupid? It was embarrassing.”

“They’re assholes, that’s why.”

“I know.” I shake my head. “Anyway, when me and Darnell went inside, we were talking and we went to the stairs and he opened the door for me, which I thought was really cute, and when we got to the top of the stairs, I was kinda waiting for him to open the door again, but before he did he stopped and—”

“Shit!” Tanya says, kinda loud. She’s looking down at the loose-leaf paper with all the numbers she added up to get her score.

“What?” Adonna asks her.

“This fucking quiz is telling me that I’m a boring lover. That’s not even right!”

Adonna looks at her like she’s crazy. “You’re not any kinda lover, stupid. You’re a virgin. You had two boyfriends last year and all you did was tease them. I don’t even know what you’re reading that magazine for.”

Tanya actually pouts. “But I’m not
boring
.”

“Maybe you added wrong,” Adonna says. “You know you’re as shitty at math as me. Add it again.” Then she leans close to me again. “Go on.”

“Okay,” I start again, not sure how far back in the story I should go. “Okay, when we got to the top of the stairs, I wasn’t even thinking of anything and—”

“Can I sit with you?”

Even before I look up, I know it’s Darnell, and it takes me a second to answer him because I’m too busy hoping he didn’t hear what I was just talking about.

I put on a smile, look up at him standing there with his tray, and say, “Yeah, sit here.” I touch the back of the chair next to me. And while he’s sitting down, me and Adonna look at each other and it’s hard to figure out what she’s thinking. I mean, she said Darnell would make a good boyfriend for me, but she don’t even know him. Anyway, I don’t know why it even matters to me what she thinks of him. But it does.

The second Darnell sits down, he starts eating. He takes big bites outta his cheeseburger and, as soon as he swallows, he starts shoving curly fries in his mouth. Really, it’s not all that pretty watching this. But still, at the same time, there’s something kinda sweet about him, like even after all those weeks of us working backstage together, all of a sudden he’s too nervous to talk to me.

I’m trying to think of something to say to him when I see Nashawn come into the cafeteria. He has on those baggy jeans Adonna hates, but to me he looks as hot as he always does. Maybe even hotter.

Nashawn don’t get in line for food or go over to his table. All he does is look over at our table, straight at me. Adonna’s
back is to him and she’s squeezing mayonnaise over her ham sandwich, anyway, but me and him stare at each other for a few seconds and I completely stop breathing, especially when he smiles at me. Then he turns and leaves, and I know what he wants. He wants me to follow him.

I breathe in and out real fast a few times, then start coughing. Adonna looks up. “What?”

I shake my head. “Nothing. I, maybe I’m still a little sick. It’s nothing.”

Darnell swallows what he’s eating. “You okay?”

I nod. “Yeah, um, I’m fine.”

He smiles, the second guy to smile at me in the last thirty seconds, and even though it don’t make me feel the same way Nashawn’s made me feel, I smile back.

Darnell reaches over to my tray and shakes my carton of orange juice and opens it for me. “Here, drink.”

“Thanks,” I say, putting my straw in it and drinking. I’m kinda liking the attention he’s giving me, but part of me is looking for an excuse to get away from the table. To meet Nashawn at our lockers and spend time with him alone again in the theater.

But I can’t. I don’t even know what’s the matter with me. What, am I really thinking about leaving Darnell here and going off with a guy that talks to another girl on the same day me and him hooked up? No, I can’t do that. Not to Darnell and not to myself. Not again.

So I don’t move. I relax. And pretty soon the table is full of Adonna’s friends and everyone’s eating and acting stupid, and me and Darnell are having our own conversation about the
showcase and some of the funny things that happened backstage, and about Mr. Melendez and how he’s too good a designer to be working at a high school.

Then the next time I look up, Nashawn’s back. He’s in the doorway again, looking right over at my table. I look away fast and stare down at my tray with the soggy grilled cheese I haven’t even touched. It’s hard, though, not looking at him. I can’t even lie to myself. I wanna get up from this table and be with him. It’s like I can already feel his hands on me and I want that again. But, no, I can’t. I can’t.

About three minutes later, just when I’m starting to forget about him, he comes walking right over to our table with a can of Pepsi in his hand. With his free hand he grabs the chair next to Adonna, spins it around, and sits on it backward. Now me and him are face-to-face, and it’s too much for me to act like it’s no big deal.

He leans closer to Adonna and grabs some of her chips. “Hey,” she says, laughing. “You gotta ask. You didn’t ask.”

“C’mon, girl. Share,” he says. And him and Adonna are looking at each other with these weird smiles, like they’re talking to each other without saying anything.

The next thing I know, Nashawn is eating one chip, then feeding the next one to Adonna, and this goes on and on, until the bag is finished. I mean, I can’t even figure this out. They haven’t even gone out on a date yet. And he’s feeding her? Right here in the cafeteria? It don’t make sense.

Darnell takes the last bite outta his cheeseburger. “That wasn’t bad today,” he says, kinda to himself. Then he asks me, “How come you’re not eating?”

I’m still staring at Adonna and Nashawn, but I tell Darnell that I’m not hungry, that I’m still not feeling well. “You can eat my lunch if you want,” I tell him.

“No, I’m good,” he says. “A person shouldn’t eat too much school lunch or they might explode from all the toxins.”

I laugh a little bit because I know he’s trying to be funny and because it’s so uncomfortable watching Adonna and Nashawn flirt right in front of us, like they’re in their own little world or something. It’s like a lot must have happened in the two days I missed school, and for some reason Adonna didn’t tell me anything, even with all that talking she did this morning. I mean, the last I heard, he talked to her for a few minutes, but obviously that’s old news now.

“Kendra,” Darnell says, and I hope he wasn’t watching me watch them.

“Huh?” I turn my attention back to him. He looks kinda worried about me, like the way he looked the other night, right before I left him and—

“I think you should try and eat something, you know, before lunch is over.”

I nod. “Okay, you’re right.” He’s looking out for me. That’s a good thing, right? Maybe he would be a good boyfriend. He’s a nice guy and he’s cute, too. Just in a different way. I mean, not every guy has to be
all that
fine.

I bite into the soggy sandwich and hear Nashawn tell Adonna, “So I can’t be out all night on Saturday ’cause we have a Sunday doubleheader. We have to make up for a game that was rained out last month. So I have to get up early. But next time—”

“How you know there’s gonna be a next time?” Adonna
asks, with that sexy smile she used to practice making in her bedroom mirror back when we were both in middle school together.

“Oh, there’s gonna be a next time,” he says. “Definitely.”

It feels like I have a lump in my throat, and it’s not ’til I swallow that I remember I was in the middle of eating the grilled cheese. It actually hurts going down and I feel like I’m going to choke. “You okay?” Darnell asks me again.

I nod. “Fine.”

He laughs. “Look, if you choke and die, I’m gonna feel real bad for making you eat that thing.”

I laugh, too. For real this time. He is kinda funny.

“Hey, Kendra.” It’s Nashawn, leaning across the table toward me. “I forgot to thank you.”

My heart stops. Oh, my God. What is he thanking me for? I hope he don’t say anything in front of Adonna and Darnell, not to mention everybody else at the table. I feel like I should say something, but I don’t know what. So instead, I stare at Nashawn, who has a grin on his face like he’s up to something. Which he probably is.

A few seconds go by. Then Adonna asks, “What for?”

“She helped me out with something,” he says. Then he pauses and I know he’s loving this, making me sweat. “We were in the computer lab,” he goes on, “and I couldn’t figure out how to make columns, and she helped me. It came out real nice, too. I got a B.”

Now it’s Adonna who’s looking at me funny. “I didn’t know you two were in the computer lab together. When was that?”

She’s still looking at me, but it’s Nashawn that says, “Last week. And she almost got me in trouble, too.”

Before I know it, I’m saying, “
I
got
you
in trouble? I was the one that kept getting yelled at, all because I was trying to help you.”

Nashawn is really smiling now. “Well, you could have helped me without all the talking. I mean, some of us were there to get our work done.”

“You were sitting there all lost, like—”

“Lost? Me? Nah.”

“You’re joking, right?”

He shakes his head. “All I’m saying is, who got in trouble, me or you? You know, those teachers can spot a troublemaker a mile away, and the second you walked in the computer lab, Ms. Ballinger was all over you.”

“It was your fault!”

Adonna clears her throat real loud. “Are y’all done? Because I hate to interrupt.” She gives me the fastest look with her eyes all squinty, and I can tell she’s gonna wanna know why I didn’t tell her about this before, especially when she asks me about him practically every day. And yeah, I didn’t tell her, but there wasn’t anything to tell her. Not really.