Kestrel (Hart Briothers #3) (15 page)

“What
do you mean?”

“That
you had fun. You look beautiful. Show them that you’re with the new guy in town
and you’re living again.”

“But
…”

“Do
I have to melt your shoes off to prove it to you?”

“What
do you mean?”

“This.”

And
he grabs me, pulls me to him, and kisses me.
In front of
everyone.
My shoes don’t exactly melt off, but everything else nearly
does.

“My
God, Kestrel. What are you doing?”

The
corner of one side of his mouth lifts and he doesn’t say a word. His fingers
lace with mine and we move through the room, as everyone stares at us.

“Is
my face red?”

“As
a rose, angel. Oh, and I’ve decided that I’m going to call you that, whether
you like it or not. You see, it has a special meaning for me.”

“Oh?
What’s that?”

“You’ll
have to figure that one out for yourself. Now smile and let all these fine
people here see how much fun you’re having, or I’ll be forced to kiss you
again.”

“You
wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh,
wouldn’t I?”

I
know damn well he would, and maybe I want him to. Maybe that’s why I said what
I said.

“I
don’t think you’re up to tarnishing your reputation.”

“Oh,
angel, you don’t know me well at all. You see I don’t give a damn about my
reputation. Yours on the other hand, is another matter.” I’m disappointed when
he only lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “By the way, I am the
envy of all the men here. Most likely because they’ve ignored you all this
time.”

And
then I hear his voice. “Carter. What are
you
doing here?”

I
turn to see Simon standing there.

“Hello,
Simon. Simon, this is Kestrel Hart. Kestrel, this is Simon Forrester.”

Kestrel
extends his hand and Simon shakes it.

“A
pleasure,” Kestrel says.

“Well?
What are you doing here?” Simon’s tone is rude and overbearing.

Kestrel’s
eyes narrow. His tone is clipped when he answers for me, “She’s my date. Not
that it’s any of your business.”

Simon’s
eyes flick between the two of us, like he can’t believe I’m on a date with
Kestrel. Then he says, “I heard you sold your house.”

“Yeah,
I did.”

“Why
didn’t you list it with my dad’s company?”

I
start to answer, but Kestrel interrupts. “That’s not your business.”

“It
is my business.”

Kestrel
gently moves me so I’m slightly behind him and he steps between us. Then he
says, “How so?”

Simon
looks at Kestrel and says, “I’m her daughter’s father.”

“I
am aware. Still, that gives you no hold on her real estate.”

Simon’s
face turns a mottled shade of purple. “Carter, we’ll discuss this later.” Then
he stomps off.

Kestrel
quickly pulls me to his side and says, “I hope I didn’t overstep my bounds. I
didn’t like the way he was treating you.”

“It’s
fine. Simon’s an overbearing ass. He always has been. That’s why my parents
persuaded me not to marry him.”

“He
wanted to marry you?”

“Not
exactly. I wanted to marry him.”

“Ah.
I see.”

“I
thought Ells needed an official father. My parents were right. It would’ve been
an extreme disaster. They saw right through him. I didn’t because I was so
naive.”

“Perhaps
it was because you were trying to do the right thing for your daughter.”

“He
laughed at me when I suggested it. It was humiliating enough when I had to tell
him I was pregnant, but then I took it a step further and suggested we get
married. Oh, God. What a fool I was.”

He
tightens his arm around me. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh,
no. It’s fine now. It all worked out for the best. Except.”

“Except?”

“I
told you how he still blames me for Ells’ death. It’s like salt in a wound. I
guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t blame myself, too.”

“That
has to stop. You couldn’t control the weather. No one can do that. Had you
known, you never would’ve left. You were not a negligent mother.”

“I
know.”

“Now
that we’ve garnered the attention of everyone here, shall we make some more
rounds?”

“Well,
I suppose that’s what we’re here for.”

I
introduce Kestrel to all the people I know and he connects with many on his
own. It’s not difficult. He makes a striking figure and he’s polished and
poised in his manner. His business savvy comes across in his conversational
skills and it’s easy to see how success will be imminent for his company.

A
couple of hours later, we climb back into the limo and head to our dinner
reservation.

“Thank
you,” he says.

“Seriously?
You didn’t need me. You’re quite skilled at this. This is second nature for
you.”

“True,
but you made it much more of a pleasure.” Then he leans over and kisses me.
It’s a light kiss, just a quick grazing of my lips. But it leaves me wanting
more. Much more. My hand seeks his and I find it to be warm and inviting. His
thumb rubs a circle over the top of mine.

Dinner
with Kestrel is a delightful experience. He has exquisite taste in wine and
food. His pairings of each are impeccable. My father would have been impressed.
I smile as I recall how my dad would peruse the wine list forever while Mom and
I laughed at him.

“What’s
put that smile on your face?”

“Your
taste in wine. My dad would take forever to choose and Mom and I would laugh at
him. You would have impressed him with your food and wine pairings.”

“Nice
to know. I wish I could’ve met him.”

“Do
you sail?”

“I
do.”

“Then
he would’ve loved you. He was an avid sailor. He was on a racing team and
sailed all over the world. That’s what baffled me so much with the hurricane.
He tracked those things like crazy. Had all kinds of equipment at the beach
house. I never thought he’d take an unnecessary risk. But it was an unusual
storm.”

“Tell
me what happened. Admittedly, I don’t remember.”

“You
wouldn’t unless you lived through it.” And I recount the terrifying event. “No
one anticipated it linking up with the other storm system. It sort of came out
of nowhere.”

“So,
even with all the equipment, your dad never could’ve known.”

“I
know. It was unavoidable.”

The
waiter comes back with our wine. Then our appetizer follows. We chat like
crazy. Kestrel tells me how he learned about wine, in his father’s casino
restaurants. And how he thought he wanted to be a sommelier, but didn’t have
the time to invest in it.

“Wine
and sailing. You and my dad.” I cross my two fingers and laugh. “You need to
meet Uncle Foster.”

“Uncle
Foster?”

“Yeah.
He’s my dad’s best friend from since they were kids. You’ll love him. Actually
you will meet him when the house closes. He’s the attorney that’s doing the
closing. Well, he won’t be but his office will so he’ll be there.”

“Oh,
great. I look forward to that. By the way, have you given any more thought to
my brother seeing the house?”

“I
have and it’s fine. I’d like to meet him. Will you tell him that you and I are
…
”

He
smiles. “What are we, Carter?”

“Uh,
I don’t know. Having a great time?”

“I’m
glad you think so, because I certainly do.”

Chapter
Ten

Kestrel

The
limo pulls in front of Carter’s house. Mario walks around and opens the door.
We get out and I walk Carter to the door. She unlocks it and turns to me.
Before she can speak, I take her in my arms and kiss her. “Thank you for being
such wonderful company.”

“Stay.
Don’t go.”

This
is moving so fast, I’m not sure I should. But I want to. I want to feel her
naked body beneath mine again.

“I
don’t want to give you the wrong impression.”

“What
does that mean?”

“It
means that this is all there will ever be. I’m not a guy you want to be with,
Carter.”

“Oh,
and I’m all full of sunshine and happiness. Jeez, where did that crap come
from?”

“You
really don’t see yourself the way others do.”

She
blows out a breath and I laugh. She just reminded me of my sister-in-law. “I
don’t really care how others see me. Good night, Kestrel.” She turns away from
me and waits for me to leave, but I don’t let go of her hand.

“I
care how others see you.” Under the lighting on the porch, I can see her
features instantly soften. “It’s not that I don’t want to. We should probably
take things in stride a bit.” I lean in and kiss her cheek. “Good night,
angel.”

Guilt
smacks me in the face for doing this to her. But I can’t keep sleeping with her
and fucking her if my motives aren’t in the proper place. I need to examine
them more closely. I’ve never really wanted to sleep with a woman more than a couple
of times. Carter is different. She’s not like any woman I’ve ever been with.
Her innocence is so potent, I can smell it. The other women I’ve been involved
with were more like high-dollar hookers. They made even
me
feel dirty
sometimes—and that’s saying something. Maybe if I slow things down a bit,
date her and do things the right way, one of us will see things the way they
were meant to be seen and we can either make this work, or go our separate
ways. One thing I
do
know is I can’t hurt her; I won’t hurt her. She’s
been through far too much for me to do that. And that is strange in and of
itself. I usually don’t give a shit about that. What—have I suddenly
become Mr. Sensitivity? Another mental picture of Gabby pops into my head of
her rubbing her palms together. Man, wouldn’t my psychiatrist sister-in-law
like to delve into my mind now?

Mario
drops me off at home and I drag myself to bed. I didn’t realize I was so
exhausted until now. All this analyzing has made me damn tired.

***

The
phone wakes me early in the morning. The damn thing vibrating on the nightstand
alerts me to the fact that I’ve slept like the dead and someone has viciously
disturbed my coma-like state. Not bothering to check who it is, I growl,
“Yeah.”

“Wow.
Someone’s pretty grumpy this morning.”

“Shit.
Sorry.”

“Did
I wake you?”

“Yeah.
I must’ve been wiped.”

“Then
I’m the one who’s sorry. I thought for sure you’d be up. It’s nine-thirty.”

“What
the hell? I never sleep this late.”

She
laughs. “I was going to see if you wanted to go for a run.”

I
rub my face. “Um, give me a sec.”

“Do
you wanna call me back?”

“No.
I want to talk to you. Come over?”

“Yeah.
Sure.”

We
hang up. I’m so groggy. I feel like I was drugged last night. I have been
burning it pretty hard these last few weeks. But
nine-fucking-thirty
?
That hasn’t happened in ages. The next thing I know my phone is vibrating
again.

“Did
you fall back asleep?” Carter asks.

“Shit.
I’m so sorry. You here?”

“Uh,
yeah. You sure about this?”

“Hang
on.”

I
pad to the door and let her in.

“Hey.”
Then her eyes pop out. “Uh …” she makes and up and down motion with her finger.

“Jesus.”
I’m ass naked. I run my hand through my hair and say, “Come talk to me while I
do my best to wake up. I don’t know why I’m so groggy.”

“Are
you feeling okay?”

“I
guess.”

I
stop in the bathroom to piss and then I brush my teeth. My throat is sore and
my head throbs. She’s sitting on the bed when I get there.

“Did
we drink a lot last night?”

“No,”
she says.

“My
head and throat hurt.”

“Maybe
you’re getting the flu.”

“Nah,
I never get sick.”

She
runs her hand over my head and then puts it on my forehead. “You’re burning up,
Kestrel.”

“Mmm.”

“Do
you have a thermometer?”

“
Dunno
. Maybe in the bathroom somewhere.”

“Mind
if I look?”

“Huh
uh.”

She
turns and kisses my cheek then tells me she’ll be back. I must’ve dozed because
the next thing I know, she’s sticking a thermometer in my mouth.

“You
have a fever of a hundred and two. Here, swallow these.” She hands me pills.
“You may need to go to the doctor.
One of those minute
clinics or something.
If you have the flu, you need some antiviral
medicine right away.”

“Yeah?
I don’t get the flu.”

“Kestrel,
anyone can get the flu. And it’s already the flu season.”

“Shit.”

“Do
you have any body aches?”

“Just
sore muscles. But I worked out the other day.”

“Yeah.
Get some clothes on. I’m taking you in.”

She
bosses me around until my objections are completely ignored. I give up and do
as she says. We go to the doctor and they confirm her suspicions. I test
positive for the flu. After we leave there, we head to the pharmacy and get my
prescriptions filled. By this time the cough has set in.

“I
didn’t know it could progress this fast. My chest already hurts.”

“Yes,
and it would get worse until you’d think you were dying.”

“Thank
you, Doctor.”

“Home
to bed for you.”

I’m
back in bed before I know it and she even cooks me up some home made chicken
soup. By mid-afternoon, I feel like a freight train hit me. This shit sucks;
shivering one minute, burning up the next. My head’s exploding and my lungs are
on fire.

She
checks on me and asks, “Need anything?”

“A
new body.”

“No
you don’t. Yours is perfect.”

Her
cool hand caresses my hot cheek. I reach for it and say, “Thank you, angel.”

“You’re
welcome.”

“This
is just one more reason why I chose that pet name for you. You fucking glow,
you’re so good.” And she does. In my fever-induced state, I see the afternoon
sun slanting through the shutters, creating a luminescence about her. It
surrounds her like a giant halo. I mumble, “You even have a halo.”

“Kestrel,
you’re a kook.”

I
capture her hand and kiss it.

“About
a lot of things, but not that.”

My
mouth is dry from the fever so I lick my lips. I whisper the words, not
intending for her to hear them. “I want to be inside of you right now, but I
doubt I’d be worth a damn. You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted more than a
couple of times. You really should run from me, like the big bad wolf.”

***

The
room is bathed in darkness when I wake up. What’s going on? We came home from
the doctor and I took a nap. Did I sleep all afternoon into the night? I go the
bathroom and while I’m up I go the refrigerator and grab some orange juice.
Thirst overwhelms me.

Shit!
Carter! She was here for most of the day. I hope she made it home okay. Damn, I
was out of it. I get back in bed and the covers stir.

“Are
you okay?”

“Fuck!”

“What’s
wrong?” Carter asks.

“Nothing.
You scared me. I didn’t realize you were here. I must’ve been out of my head
today.”

“The
flu will do that. And all the medicine you’ve been taking for your cough.”

“Christ.”
My heart clangs; I can almost hear the damn thing.

She
scoots next to me, and feels my forehead. “Your fever is gone. Thank God.”

“Yeah,
but now I have a heart condition.”

She
laughs. Her hand automatically lands on my chest and starts rubbing a circular pattern
there. “Why did you tell me to run from you?”

“I
told you that?”

“Uh
huh. You said to run like you were the big bad wolf.”

“Huh.
Well, maybe because I am.”

“You
don’t expect me to believe that, do you?”

“Oh,
angel, it doesn’t matter what I expect you to believe. What matters is the
truth.”

“I
believe I’m going to have to make up my own mind about that.”

She
starts to play with my fingers, running her fingertips up and down mine, like
they are some precious things she reveres. In turn, I do the same to her. Her
fingers are long and slender. The bones are delicate things, so fragile feeling
to me.

“Fair
enough. But when the time comes, don’t say you weren’t warned.”

“Warning
accepted.”

Rolling
onto my side, I pull her up against me and fall back to sleep.

When
the morning comes, it’s chaotic. My alarm goes off and I jump up, extremely
disoriented. Carter follows suit. Then we argue.

“If
you go into work today, you’ll contaminate everyone in your office. You can’t
possibly do that. That’s irresponsible of you.”

“I’ll
wear gloves and a mask.”

We
go at it like this for fifteen minutes, upon where she throws her arms up in
the air, calls me a stubborn and foolish idiot, and then blames every
communicable virus epidemic on dumbasses like me. Finally she stomps out,
leaving me feeling very bereft, and every bit the fool. I call her immediately.

“You’re
right. I’ll stay home.” I picture her smiling.

“Thank
you.” Then I hear the door opening and she’s standing there. “Now, back in bed
and I’ll bring you everything you’ll need for the day. I have some things I
have to do, but then I’ll be back to take care of you.”

“You
don’t have to do that.”

“I
know. But if I don’t, you’ll work like a demented fool all day, get no rest,
and then relapse. That won’t do at all.”

She
brings me my laptop, charger, and cord, phone charger and makes sure they’re
all plugged in. Then she goes to get my breakfast made. Soon, she’s carrying in
a tray laden with coffee, water, juice, toast, and fruit.

“Thank
you,” I tell her as she carries it in.

“Okay,
this should hold you until I get back.”

After
she sets everything down, I grab her hand and say, “Angel, you don’t have to
come back. I’m a grown man and I can take care of things here.”

“I
know. But I want to.”

“No.
Go to work. If I need you, I’ll call.”

She
chews on her lip for a minute, thinking. “Okay. But I’ll drop by for lunch.”

“You
got it.”

“Don’t
forget your medicine.”

“Yes,
Mom.”

She
sticks out her tongue at me and is gone. The place seems so empty without her.
But I have lots to do so I log into the work site and get going. My first order
of business is to let everyone know I have the flu. They all thank me for
staying home.

I
pick up my phone and call Kolson.

“Hey.
I have the flu.”

“Shit.
That’s not good. You want me to postpone?”

“It’s
up to you. Jack’s already here. I’m better today. Went to the doctor yesterday
and got all kinds of crap to take. I’m working from home today.
Maybe even tomorrow.
You may have to come here. I don’t want
to contaminate the office.”

“Right.
Maybe I’ll come Wednesday.”

“
Kol
, that might work better.”

“Okay,
I’ll amend my trip. See you Wednesday. Take it easy today. I’ll call Jack and
let him know. We can have a video conference tomorrow.”

“Sounds
good.”

My
email is jammed. Shayla is on the phone with me for over two hours, filling me
in on everything. Jack and I talk for another hour and a half and I look up to see
Carter standing there with her arms crossed.

“You
were supposed to rest.”

“Sorry.
The morning flew by.”

She
walks up to me, closes my computer, grabs my phone, and tells me to go to the
bathroom while she fixes me my food. When I’m back, lunch is ready. After I’m
done, she makes me rest and I quickly conk out. It’s dark in the room when I
awaken. I check the clock to see it’s six in the evening. My house is quiet so
I assume Carter never returned. I get up and hit the shower. I’m feeling
slightly better so I walk into the kitchen and I’m filling a glass of ice water
when Carter prances in. Once again, I’m not wearing a stitch of clothing.