Kev (26 page)

I faced many challenges on The Show, most of
which resulted in injury of some sort, injury that quickly healed,
a fact that did not strike me as particularly strange. I had always
healed quickly, and believed that everyone else did as well.

As our time at camp drew to a close, Clive
told me he would be attending a private boarding school in
Connecticut, a school not far from my home, and he begged me to get
my parents to send me there. I had absolutely no reservations about
this. In fact, I prayed my parents would send me. They did.

I loved boarding school, primarily because
Clive was my roommate, and now my best friend, a friend I swore I
would never forget, a friend I would have forever.

When not in class, Clive and I spent all of
our free time together, rarely playing with any of the other boys
in our school. Nobody ever said anything about it.

Clive and I played The Show that first year
many times, and many times I suffered terrible injury, always
healing, and often forgetting that I had been hurt at all.
Sometimes, Clive would say things like, “Do you get it yet?” or “Do
you understand?” I never really picked up on this, usually
responding with, “You are a kook.”

Toward the end of the school year I asked my
parents if Clive could stay with me for the summer, and, of course,
my parents agreed, happy to see I had made a friend.

That summer, Clive and I spent most of our
time in my fort. Upon first seeing the inside of the fort, Clive
said, “This will not do. Where are the toys?”

All I had in the fort was my table and chair
and my journal and pens. I preferred it that way, but gave in,
Clive and I raiding my bedroom, bringing my best toys, many of
which I had long forgotten, out to the fort.

We played The Show much less than we had
played while at camp or at school, now spending most of our time
playing with toys or going on adventures in the woods behind my
house, a constant source of joy.

Near the end of the summer, Uncle Joe flew up
in his airplane and took Clive and me down to his farm in Macon,
Georgia. Prior to arriving there, I told Clive nothing about my
Uncle’s collection of model planes, wanting to surprise him.
Needless to say, when Clive saw my uncle’s collection he was blown
away.

We spent the first two days with Uncle Joe,
learning how to fly his model planes, Clive proving quite adept at
this. I proved to be far less adept, crashing three of Uncle Joe’s
planes, basically destroying them.

On the third day, I took Clive to the park
down the street, the park across from a field, a field on which
stood and old, abandoned barn, a barn my uncle had instructed us
not to visit.

Clive and I surveyed the park from the top of
the fort. I looked out to the edge of the park, across the road and
then over the field to the old, abandoned barn, wondering what was
inside. My uncle had told me it was over a hundred years old.

“We should go to the barn,” said Clive, his
eyes also on the barn.

“Uncle Joe told us not to,” I said.

“Come on, Kev. It will be fine. I’m sure
there is nothing in there other than rats and hay.”

“I don’t know,” I said. I saw a girl come out
of the barn, heading our way. “Who is that?”

“I don’t know,” said Clive, a strange tone in
his voice. “I think we’re going to find out, though.”

We stayed at the top of the fort as the girl
approached, finally making it to the base of the fort, saying,
“What are you dummies doing up there?”

“We are waiting for you,” said Clive.

“Well, the wait is over, isn’t it?” said the
girl, now climbing to the top of the fort.

She reached the top and faced Clive and me,
giving us a full examination before saying, “Well, Kev, are you
going to kiss me or not?”

I glanced a Clive, now wearing a sly grin on
his face, looked at the girl, and said, “What?”

“You’re my husband, aren’t you? Give your
wife a kiss,” said the girl.

“How do you know my name?” I said.

“He doesn’t remember a thing, does he?” said
the girl to Clive.

“Not one thing,” chuckled Clive.

“What are you guys talking about?” I said,
terribly confused.

“Rules are rules, Kev,” said the girl. “Now
are you going to kiss me or not?”

I gave the girl a tentative peck on the cheek
and pulled back. Looking down, I saw a ring on one of her fingers,
a small, silver band with an amethyst. I remembered that ring, but
did not know how.

Fully aware of the fact that I often forgot
things, I didn’t think it that odd that I would forget the girl.
However, I found her exchange with Clive quite perplexing. Clive
knew this girl. I was sure of it. How did he know her? “Do you two
know each other?” I said.

“I would say we all know each other now,
wouldn’t you agree?” said the girl, a perfect non-answer, and one
that I accepted, perhaps because I believed I would get no better
answer.

“What rules are you talking about?” I
said.

“The Rules,” said Clive. “Don’t worry, Kev.
You’ll figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” I said, now curious
again.

“Things and stuff,” said the girl. “Do you
two bozos want to do something fun, or are you just going to stand
at the top of this fort all day?”

“Like what?” I said.

“Why don’t we go to Uthio Minor and have some
green tea? Maybe that will help you with your memory problems,”
said the girl.

“Uthio Minor? Where is that?” I said.

“About thirty-seven billion light-years from
here,” said Clive.

I looked at Clive and saw the sly grin still
plastered on his face, and then looked back at the girl and noticed
a softer, almost sad smile.

“You two know each other, don’t you? Are you
playing a trick on me?” I said.

“Why don’t we go to Uthio Minor, Kev,” said
the girl.

Space distorted and the park disappeared, now
replaced by a beach lined with hundred foot tall palm trees. Not
far away, I saw an outdoor bar of sorts. Behind the bar, I saw a
creature that looked like a giant bug. Had I seen that creature
before? Didn’t I know its name?

“Come on,” said the girl, taking my hand and
leading me to the bar, Clive following after us.

We sat at the bar, and the bug came over to
us and said, “Hey, guys. I take it you’re here for green tea.” The
bug looked at me. At least, I thought it was looking at me. “You
remember me, Kev?”

“Um, no. Where are we?” I said, a little
nervous, more than a little amazed.

“We’re on Uthio Minor, dummy,” said the girl.
“This is our home.”

Home. This was my home. Was this my home? I
didn’t reject the idea for reasons that escaped me. “Would you
please tell me what’s going on?” I said.

“No can do,” said Clive. “You’re going to
have to figure it out on your own.”

“Why?” I said, suddenly annoyed. I wasn’t
used to people toying with me this way. Most people who knew me
were quite helpful when my memory acted up. Why were these
people--well, two people and a bug—messing with me?

“Tell you what,” said the bug. “Why don’t you
have a green tea?” The bug turned away from us, preparing three
green teas. I looked at the girl and said, “How do I know you?
Can’t you tell me that?”

“You have always known me. You know, I hope I
didn’t just break the rules,” said the girl.

“Nah,” said Clive. “Anyway, don’t you think
this has gone on long enough?”

“What has gone on long enough?” I said.

“You’ll see,” said the girl.

“Who is the bug?” I whispered to the girl,
wondering if I should call the bug a bug, not wanting to insult
it.

“His name is Brok. Ring any bells?” said the
girl.

Brok served us three glasses of vaguely
greenish liquid. I picked up my glass and gave it the sniff test.
This was definitely not green tea, or, at least, not any green tea
I could remember. “What is this?” I said.

“You should know, Kev,” laughed Brok. Was
that a laugh? It sounded more like gurgling mixed with squeaks.

“You know,” I said. “I’m getting pretty sick
of this. Would somebody please tell me what is going on? How did we
get here? Who are you? Where are we?”

Brok, the girl, and Clive all looked at each
other, as if they were debating telling me something.

“Drink your tea, Kev,” said Brok.

I took a sip of the tea, experiencing a taste
both familiar and new. I heard the sounds of children laughing and
playing, followed by a voice, which said, “Hello, Kev. Welcome to
The This Might Surprise You Experience
.”

I looked around for the source of the voice,
a woman’s voice that I had heard many times before. The girl patted
me on the back and said, “It’s in your head, Kev. Just relax.”

“Now, listen closely,” said the voice. “You
are in grave danger. The entire universe is in grave danger. All
creation, including you, might soon come to a very sudden end if
you don’t get your act together. Do you understand, Kev? Do you
understand?”

“No,” I said. I looked at the others, at the
expectant looks on their faces.

The world went dark and then in a matter of
seconds a countless number of thoughts and visions entered into me.
I experienced my life, a life lived an infinite number of times, a
confusing and often frightening life. I remembered the girl and
Clive. I recalled Bri, the Proth Sphere and Jesus. I remembered
Aputi and then every living soul that had ever inhabited any of the
infinite universes that ever existed. In that instant, I remembered
absolutely everything and knew exactly who I was.

The moment passed and I found myself staring
at the girl and Clive, my memory fading, total understanding
turning into total confusion.

The world disappeared, and I appeared in my
house in Connecticut, in my bedroom, standing in front of my desk,
a black cube with a blue button in my hand. I pressed the button
once and nothing happened. I pressed it twice and, again, nothing
happened. I pressed it three times and appeared in a city on a
river. I pressed it four times and felt a little dizzy. I paused
before pressing the button five times, perhaps knowing what would
happen. When I pressed the button five times the world blinked and
I found myself back at the bar on Uthio Minor.

“Do you understand, Kev?” said the woman’s
voice. “Do you understand?”

“Understand what?” I said.

“Oh well, I tried,” said the voice.

I looked at the girl and Clive.

“Well?” said the girl.

“Well what?” I said.

“Oh my God, this is never going to end,” said
Clive.

“What are you talking about?” I said.

“Rules are rules, Kev,” said the girl,
sadly.

I wanted to scream.

The girl and Clive both took sips of green
tea and then drifted off into space for a couple of minutes, saying
nothing. I looked at Brok, who said, “They’ll be back. Green
tea.”

I had no memory of my green tea experience
and had no understanding of what the girl and Clive were
experiencing.

When they came out of their trance, they
looked at each other and in unison said, “Surth Beta.”

We appeared in a quaint city full of old
buildings, many of which had glass fronts, through which we could
see an assortment of alien creatures, some sitting by themselves,
some in pairs. Those in pairs were all connected to each other by
wires, a strange sight. Through one window, I saw a giant brain
floating in a vat of liquid. I had a memory of that brain, a brain
with no name.

“Where are we?” I said.

“Surth Beta,” said Clive. “You remember this
place?”

“I remember that, I think,” I said, pointing
to the brain in a vat.

The girl and Clive looked at each other,
eyebrows raised.

I noticed a strange centipede-like creature
standing outside the door that led into the room that housed the
brain in the vat. It was holding a sign that read, “Have total
recall. Know everything (almost).”

“Anything you feel like doing, Kev?” said the
girl.

Ignoring the girl and Clive, I approached the
centipede and said, “I’d like to have total recall.”

“Hey, Kev,” said the centipede. “Forgotten
again, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess. Can you give me all of my
memories back?”

“Well, not all of your memories, but enough
to help you understand. Or you could go for the big package, but I
wonder if that might be too much for you right now.”

“What do I do?”

“Follow me,” said the centipede, opening the
door and leading me into the room with the brain in the vat. It
connected an electrode to my temple and left.

“So, Kev, what will it be? You want to have
everything I have or just what you had all of the other times you
connected to me?” said a voice, a voice I assumed belonged to the
brain in the vat.

I thought about that for a moment, a little
confused. “What do you mean by everything?” I said.

“All of the memories of all of the creatures
that ever connected to me.”

“How many is that?”

“Well, let’s see. I think last time you were
here I had about twelve trillion memory groups stored. It’s been
awhile. I’m guessing I have somewhere around thirty-seven
quadrillion now.”

“Thirty-seven quadrillion memories?” I
said.

“No, groups of memories, one group for each
instance a being connected to me, all of the memories of the being
at that time.”

“That sounds like a lot.”

“Yeah, but you can handle it. After all, you
have a class nine mind.”

“What does that mean?”

“Tell you what, Kev. Take the big package. I
think everyone will be happier if you do.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see.”

“Fine,” I said. I looked through the glass at
the girl and Clive, both staring at me. What were they thinking? Is
this what they wanted me to do? What had gone on long enough? I had
no clue.