Kill Them Wherever You Find Them (11 page)

They tried to have dinner at least once every
two weeks if not more frequently. Sometimes it led to breakfast as
well. Nobody knew about her. He even hid her existence from his
three best and only friends, as well as his co-workers. Even from
those who employed him he withheld any knowledge of her. Because of
her situation they surely would understand should knowledge of her
come to light.

Time spent together must be carefully
planned. Mona told him where to meet, never being the same place
twice. She would send a car for him, only joining him when both
were satisfied that he wasn't seen by anyone who knew him. It was
really very exciting, the sneaking around and subterfuge. The
clandestine nature of their relationship was quite the
rush
for a man who had never even seriously kissed a woman before Mona
came into his life.

Mona's family had made a lot of enemies in
the Iranian government for their outspoken criticism of the Islamic
leadership that controlled every aspect of life. Jews themselves,
this was very dangerous and incredibly brave. Eventually the
threats to their lives reached the point where they had to flee the
country. After the Israeli agents secreted her and her parents out
of the country her grandparents were beheaded in a local soccer
field while the town turned out en masse to watch and cheer. She
still got tears in her eyes, her voice breaking, when she spoke of
it.

A
fatwa
, a death warrant, had been
issued against Mona and her parents. If anybody knew their true new
identity and location in Israel they were as good as dead. She told
him how the Israeli government granted them citizenship
sub
rosa
as heroes, providing them with new identities. Very few
people, even in the government, knew of their true identity. When
he told her that he had to apply for yet a higher security
clearance but did not know how to speak of their relationship, she
told him to not mention her, the agency handling her family's
security already knew about No'am, there was no reason to bring
more people into this confidence.

Leaving information about her off of the
documents he had to provide was, he felt sure, perfectly legal as
the highest government officials were aware of her. Love is blind
and he was head-over-heels in love.

No'am adored Mona with every fiber of his
being. A self-acknowledged geek with thick glasses, hair that
couldn't be tamed, and a disfigurement from birth that children
stared at and adults pretended to not see, he couldn't imagine what
she saw in him to keep their romance going.

After they met on his hike throughout the
country, eventually having to part ways, he asked if he could see
her again. She replied that she would be delighted but that she
would have to come to him. He thought she was just being too polite
to turn him down, but gave her his temporary address anyway. He
returned home with no expectations or hopes whatsoever. He was a
little shocked, feeling a rush of supernal ecstasy when she called
on him just two days later from a youth hostel where she stayed for
a few days.

Their second time together was their first
true date. Mona had a way of peering into his soul, instinctively
knowing how to navigate any topic of discussion. In some ways she
was intellectually intimidating – something rare and wondrous. She
expressed interested in, and genuine fascination by, his field of
study and research. They also enjoyed long discussions on politics,
religion, war, and Middle Eastern history as viewed from the
various factions in the region. Though it seemed cliché, they both
loved nighttime walks along the beach after getting something to
eat and drink at one of the countless sidewalk cafés throughout
Tel-Aviv's beach front.

One year as a combined birthday surprise and
celebration after earning his second doctorate, Mona treated him to
a week at an exquisite resort in Eilat. He felt a little irked when
he exited the shower, returning to their bedroom for the towel left
on a chair, to find her using his laptop. He never password
protected his documents as his laptop was never out of his sight in
a public setting. Besides, the operating system itself had a
sixteen alpha-numeric character password to boot-up the computer.
Given the system boot security he was surprised that she gained
full access. Expressing mild irritation she first pouted in a very
sexy way, then rewarded him with a smile that melted his knees,
causing him to forget all else. Besides, what fool would jeopardize
time with her over a computer?

Later that night she asked forgiveness, which
he eagerly gave. She explained that she forgot to tell her parents
that she'd be away for a week. She obviously couldn't just call
them so she sent them a quick e-mail using the resort's wireless
connection. It didn't occur to him to ask her how she so quickly
cracked the password. When he thought about it the next day well,
it just seemed to be a moot issue. The night had been so glorious,
unlike any other up to then, why risk ruining the rest of the
week?

He could tell that though she still missed
her childhood homeland, she was an absolute Zionist. Because of the
status of her family's situation as refugees in hiding she couldn't
participate in military service, nor could she have open alliance
with any public group, not even a synagogue or university. She was
unfettered with the need to work as the government gave her and her
parents each a nice monthly stipend, allowing them to remain
comfortable while out of public view.

She clearly regretted being unable to serve
her country in uniform. She lived this missing aspect of her life
vicariously through No'am's military service, hearing from him the
Israeli approach to both psychological and technological warfare.
Due to his physical situation he was unable to be in any combat
unit. No'am served quite capably at an important logistics and
planning department for technical warfare research of which he
couldn't speak. Because some of his research in the university was
ultimately funded by the military, he knew of things that the
average citizen never would. Wanting to make sure she knew him to
be a man of importance he would let little things innocently
drop
during times such as pillow talk the few nights a month
that she would stay overnight. Not on his guard, trusting Mona so
explicitly and loving her with such blind devotion, he began to
slowly confide in her some of the scientific details about
The
Project
about a couple of years after he was picked to head one
of the facilities. At first she was stunned. She hungered for more
but never pushed. No'am was only happy to parcel out little details
regarding his work, his version of romantic teasing.

Like him, she was observant of the High
Holidays for the sake of her parents but fairly secular the rest of
the year. "Funny, she mused, "no matter how old we get we still try
to impress and please our parents as if still children. They both
laughed over that observation.

A couple of times he had dinner with her and
her parents. They were kind people, younger than he would have
expected. Perhaps the credit went to their outlook on life, their
world view that made them seem younger.

No'am mentally puzzled the level of religious
observance of Mona's parents. She had told him they were observant
– though not to the level of the Hassidic Jews. "Orthodox, not
radical," was how she described them once before. There was a
mezuzah on every door of their flat, but nobody touched it with
their fingers, then pressing their fingers to their lips as is the
norm for the observant when passing through a door. They seemed to
have all of the trappings – mezuzot, a menorah, the two-handled cup
in the bathroom for ritual hand washing, and a bowl of torn pieces
of bread just outside the bathroom for yet another prayer ritual.
Her father did wear a simple kippah on the crown of his head, yet,
in spite of her earlier saying that they were observant, they
didn't seem to be particularly interested in the day-to-day details
of their faith.

Well, the meal at least was kosher.
Ultimately the dietary laws were all he much cared about in his own
religious identity and lifestyle. Had they served a ham he would
have had to politely decline eating or drinking anything in their
home. He wasn't observant but he did maintain the dietary laws. In
his room at the kibbutz he kept a separate set of silverware,
dishes, drinking glasses and coffee mugs, etc., for foods with
dairy products versus foods that contained meat. Even his tiny
refrigerator was meticulously segregated. Not particularly
religious, not even sure if God existed, this observance of kosher
laws surprised nobody more than he.

Though marriage never happened due to the
fact that she had to remain in hiding, even in Israel, he knew that
she fully loved him and would have married him if their lives had
been different. Presenting herself as not quite as intelligent as
he, it was endearing when she would ask him questions to clarify
things of which he spoke, telling him that so many things were
simply beyond her; in some respects he sometimes wondered if she
hid her true intelligence for the sake of his male ego. She was
nonetheless astonishingly intelligent in her own right.

It was such a shame they could not make their
feelings one for the other public. He loved Mona too much to do or
say anything that would endanger her or her family. After he
proposed marriage he never brought up the topic again after a
tearful Mona explained how it could never be, much as she wanted
it.

Desperately wanting to boast of her to his
three buddies, he knew he couldn't. Besides, she refused any
photographs be taken of her. Without photographic evidence his few
buddies could never believe such a lovely goddess would be
interested in him, let alone sometimes share his bed. Even if he
had a photo of them together his friends would probably argue that
it had been manipulated.

Recently they had something of a falling out.
She readily accepted the fact that his leaving for the United
States would be a boost to his career. She also reasoned that for
her own safety she couldn't go with him or even visit him. She said
she couldn't bear to be so far away from him for such a long time,
then launched into that wonderful little pouting thing she did with
her lips that turned him to putty in her hands – as if he weren't
already!

Though he explained to her why he could
return only every couple of months or so, she was clearly unhappy
with that. She had hoped he would take a souvenir with him. He
accepted it, but then put it in a storage unit with other
belongings. He really did want to bring it to the facility with
him, a beautiful ceramic frame adorning her more beautiful face.
Such an item would arouse suspicions that, at this stage of the
process, would get him fired from this work with
The
Project
. An employee of the government in a highly sensitive
and vital position, it was all but certain that the organizers knew
about Mona but said nothing due to her family need for absolute
secrecy. Why take the chance of exposing her relationship now,
ruining everything?

He had gotten away with his secret this far –
to his utter shock – there could be no going back. He had no idea
what a convincing liar he was until he underwent the vetting
process. He felt rather proud of the fact that he could fool some
of Israel's finest, another boost to his ego. Then again, if they
already knew about her from the beginning and said nothing, he
guessed he probably wasn't that good at deception after all.

A week later, when he sent her his first text
bounced from the secure
throw away
phone he used outside his
facility. The text routed through the carrier and number of his own
cell phone. In the responding text she asked him if he had the gift
she gave him. He admitted that he did not. Receiving no further
text from her he begged her forgiveness. He would never be able to
explain why he left the frame and picture behind. He considered
lying to her, simply saying that her picture was in front of him as
they spoke, but she was a much better lie detector than the
machines and psychologists used on him during his multiple
interviews and psych tests. He could fool them, but he could never
fool her, nor would he ever want to. He was taken aback by her
anger that he didn't bring the frame with him.

No'am found this just a little annoying, as
well as a couple of other small things that had happened between
them in the past. Things that seemed to somewhat contradict the
Mona he knew and loved. Sometimes he thought that he deceived
himself. If he were, it was a deception with which he'd gladly
live, taking it to his grave.

The few things about her that sometimes
nagged at the periphery of his mind, well, he could quickly dismiss
them as the fears of a socially awkward man who had never had a
real girlfriend before. Though dismissed, the nagging questions
would nonetheless return in those quiet moments at night when the
lab closed for the day and he was left to his own thoughts. The
very questions that nagged him about her would be a needless
red
flag
to the people funding his work. Surely there
was no real problem.

Then there was the guilt at lying – point
blank – during the written and psychological profiles. Sometimes he
wondered if he nurtured sociopath tendencies. Not that he wanted to
hurt people, but rather that he could tell a bold-faced lie without
flinching. His eyes, his heart rate, perspiration – nothing gave
away the fact that he was lying. This knowledge was sobering and
more than a little exciting.

Because his few friends didn't know about
Mona he was in no danger of them disclosing the relationship. What
science did to feed the intellectual hunger of his brain, she did
for his heart. No'am couldn't imagine life without either.